Best of Houston

Rest of the Best: The Top 10 Nude Scenes From Houston Actresses (NSFW) Really NSFW

Every once in a while I like to take a break from being a feminist crusader and compile a list based on complete chauvinist objectification. Maybe I'm seeking balance. Maybe I just like boobies. Maybe just the thought of a cashing a check for this sends me into maniacal glee beyond all comparison.

Regardless, there are a lot of exceptional thespians that have come out of H-Town, and the fact is that sometimes in the course of their art they take off their clothes. Today we salute the best examples of that.

10. Anna Nicole Smith, Skyscraper: From chicken cook to stripper to millionaire wife to reality show train wreck our own Anna Nicole Smith was one of a kind no matter how you felt about here. Though she was more known for her Playboy appearances she did dabble in proper acting. Cheesy as it was, Skyscraper was probably the best of these, offering a female take on Die Hard mixed with several gratuitous scenes of Smith showering or writhing on the bed with Richard Steinmetz.

9. Shelley Duvall, Thieves Like Us: Shelley Duvall sports one of the most legit Houston film credits for having been in Brewster McCloud. Personally, for me she'll always be Little Bo Peep in Mother Goose Rock 'n' Rhyme though. She's was never overly prone to getting undressed on camera, but did step fully nude out of an old-fashioned bathtub in Thieves Like Us.

8. JoBeth Williams, Teachers: Williams grew up down in South Park before she moved out to New York City to become a star. One of her big breaks was 1983's Teachers, where she played a lawyer helping to clean up a corrupt school. One of the ways that she accomplishes this is by streaking naked down the halls, throwing her panties at a crowd of teenagers. Just to be sure, I checked out this legal strategy with a lawyer friend of mine.

Me: Can you think of anyway that you taking off all your clothes in front of a bunch of high school kids would help your career?

Her: I honestly cannot think of a scenario in which this could ever end up helping a lawyer's career... at least not in this country.

She declined to tell me the location of the magic land where lawyers run naked and free.

Editor's note: Readers if you continue you should know we're getting very adult in the next pages.

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Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner