Title: Practical Magic 2
Describe This Movie Using One THE VVITCH Quote:
WILLIAM: Did ye make some unholy bond with that goat?
Brief Plot Synopsis: “The Simpsons Owenses are going to England!”
Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: 2.5 Black Sabbath albums out of 5.
Tagline: “Everything you’ve witched for.”
Better Tagline: “Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good Botox needle, kid.”
Not So Brief Plot Synopsis: Having successfully suppressed her witchy powers for 25 years, Sally Owens (Sandra Bullock) is raising her daughters Antonia (Maisie Williams) and Kylie (Joey King) with no knowledge of their sorcerous heritage. This doesn’t sit well with Sally’s sister Gllian (Nicole Kidman), because it also means keeping them ignorant of the curse that has killed every man an Owens woman has loved for over 300 years. When Kylie’s boyfriend Gideon (Xolo Maridueña) is gravely injured, she heads to England with Aunt Fran’s Raven Book to reconcile with the family’s past and try to end the curse once and for all.
“Critical” Analysis: It’s been 28 years since we met the Owens sisters in the first Practical Magic, just in case you needed another reminder that time eventually grinds us all to dust. Since then, Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock have both gone on to win Best Actress Oscars (Kidman for The Hours, Bullock for The Blind Side), endure high-profile divorces, and enjoy their status as two of the most successful actors of all time.
Does Bullock and Kidman reuniting for Practical Magic 2 make sense at this point? The original was neither a box office nor a critical standout. It’s since become something of a Halloween viewing tradition among those who prefer their horror a little gentler than Michael Myers knifing babysitters. No judgment.
Practical Magic 2 is a minor improvement on the original in a few ways. For starters, it avoids the jarring tone shifts of the first. Also, the “find your daughter” storyline is a little more relatable than “exorcise the spirit of a dead serial killer.” Finally, somebody finally endeavors to do something about that stupid Owens Curse.
Seriously, after the first hundred years or so of dying boyfriends/husbands, maybe somebody should’ve looked harder for that book.
The story is mostly Kylie’s, who’s also given the entirety of the mother-daughter conflict. All this to the detriment of Maisie Williams’ screen time. I realize it would’ve resulted in lengthening an already overlong movie, but relegating Antonia (and Aunt Fran) to Gideon’s bedside attendants is a shame.
On the other hand, we get Klein High School’s own Lee Pace as Professor Wright, whose dialogue deftly treads the line between semi-serious metaphysical insight and Goop-ian woo woo. Example: “We are all pallbearers of our ancestors’ pain.” Oh, yeah … that’s the stuff. Again as with the original, it’s his and Sally’s speculative romance that backstops the sister stuff.
The chemistry between the leads — in addition to the “cool aunt” vibes of Wiest and Channing — forgave many of the original movie’s flaws. Here, Bullock and Kidman still play off each other reasonably well, (even if Kidman is clearly having the better time), but it’s clear one of these actors is trying harder than the other.
Sadly, simply being better than the original isn’t enough to make Practical Magic 2 a good movie. The first act drags, the villain plot is nonsense, Maisie Williams feels like she belongs in a different movie, and the only people who seem to be having any fun are Pace and Kidman. This tends to be a problem when your central character (Sally) acts like she really doesn’t want to be there. Maybe Bullock was looking for a way to make a splashy comeback after a self-imposed four year Hollywood hiatus. Unfortunately, this ain’t it.
Practical Magic 2 is in theaters today.
