What’s the hardest thing about learning to play the saw? “I think it’s just finding a bow,” says Geoffrey Muller, also known as Uncle Tick from the Sideshow Tramps. He says that so far, most students have shown up unprepared for his Saw Workshop, but no worries, he’s willing to share. For those who want more time on the blade, however, he recommends shopping at local pawn shops for bows and hardware stores for saws. “It can’t be a hacksaw,” he says. “Just a regular old saw.”

Seems to us the hardest thing is manipulating the blade and trying not to get cut. “You have the teeth facing — you have to stick it in your crotch,” Muller says. Huh?! “I never worry about it,” he says. But don’t your students? “I don’t know. I’ve never asked. I just stick it between their legs, and I’m like, ‘Do this.’”

Muller started the workshops about three months ago, sharing his four years of self-taught expertise with what he hopes are future bandmates. “I actually want to start a saw orchestra,” he says. “But there’s nobody who plays except a bunch of faux-bos in Austin, and who the fuck wants to hang out with them? They can’t really play anyway.” 8 to 10 p.m. Avant Garden, 411 Westheimer. For information, contact cajunbanjo@gmail.com or visit www.myspace.com/loathesomefoilball. Free.

Mon., May 12, 8-10 p.m., 2008

This article appears in May 8-14, 2008.