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You know you loved these shows--after it got dark and everyone else in the house went to bed, those soft-core wonders of cock-socks and strategically placed hands. The simulated bumping and grinding giving younger viewers (like this writer), a false impression of where everything was supposed to fit during crazed sexual intercourse.
Before the Internet explosion of the late '90s, soft-core porn on Cinemax, HBO and Showtime was a prime spot for those younger viewers not old enough to buy real pornography (or just sans an older male sibling). Now kids can dial up any fetish on their cell phones or sext a friend from school to get their jollies. Not so just a decade ago, the dark ages of fappage as us born in the early '80s can attest to.
We salute those 30-minute blocks of women in high-waisted bikinis, seedy hotel owners, hookers with hearts of gold, and sweaty himbos laying down with some of the best physical, yet wooden-acting, specimens that Playboy, Penthouse, and maybe even Hustler had to offer.
Some of the talent, like David Duchovny of Red Shoe Diaries and Krista Allen from Emmanuelle In Space, would go on to bigger and better things (like The X-Files and dating George Clooney), but for the rest, they remain in our hearts forever for their dedication to no penetration and to award-worthy mimed fellatio and cunnilingus.
Hot Springs Hotel (Showtime)Emmanuelle: In Space (Cinemax)Hotel Erotica (Cinemax)Compromising Situations (Showtime)Beverly Hills Bordello (Showtime)
Real Sex (HBO)Red Shoe Diaries (Showtime)Sherman Oaks (Showtime)Cathouse: The Series (HBO)
Horny-able Mentions
Bedtime Stories
Pornucopia
Sex Games Vegas
Black Tie Nights
Passion Cove
Erotic Confessions
Night Stand
Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.
