Title: Nosferatu
Describe This Movie In One Rick and Morty Quote:
MASTER: “Coach Feratu.” That was his real name, like his actual vampire name?
VAMPIRE : No, no no no. His vampire name was Balik Alistane.
MASTER: Why the f*ck would he name himself after a famous vampire movie? Was he doing a bit?
VAMPIRE : I do not know, your unholiness.
Brief Plot Synopsis: Love, or whatever the undead call it, never dies.
Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: 3.5 Templetons out of 5.
Tagline: “Succumb to the darkness.”
Better Tagline: “It sure was nice of Mr. Burns to invite us for a midnight dinner at his country house in…Pennsylvania.”
Not So Brief Plot Synopsis: Young Thomas Hutter (Nicolas Hoult) has it all: a lovely new wife Ellen (Lily-Rose Depp, a burgeoning career as an estate agent, and a big business trip to the Carpathians to secure a contract for the mysterious Count Orlok (Bill Skarsgård), who is unusually interested in relocating to the town of Wisborg, Germany. He also has a more unhealthy fascination with the new Mrs. Hutter, who has a connection of her own to the Count.
“Critical” Analysis: My family’s never been one for going to the movies on Christmas. There are any number of reasons for this, but chief among them is probably the time I was tasked with saving two entire rows of seats for the extended family at a Yuletide screening of Titanic.
All of this is a rather long-winded way to say if your family *does* go to the movies for the holidays, you may want to reconsider Nosferatu.
Not that it’s a bad movie; far from it. Robert Eggers’ latest folk horror foray is an exceptionally well-crafted movie — for adults, which is a nice change for this time of year — but it’s combo of gore and carnality may not be the best choice for Nanny and Grampy.
Or not. Sometimes the elderly like to get their freak on, too.
But all the Eggers hallmarks are here: incredible atmospherics, an abundance of long takes and tracking, meticulously staged and composited shots, painstaking attention to detail (although I’d swear the Hutters’ “German” apartment was shot on the Diagon Alley set). For better or worse, nobody else is making mainstream Hollywood movies like this.
The legend of Count Orlok, like that of Dracula (his original, less bestial inspiration), has been brought to screens both large and small before. Hoult and co-star Willem Dafoe have made appearances of their own in a couple, the former in last year’s Renfield, the latter in 2000’s Shadow of the Vampire. Hoult’s career renaissance (Houltaissance?) continues, following The Order and Juror #2 and preceding 2025’s Superman. His Hutter gets over his initial freakout and eventually steels himself for the struggle against Orlok.
Because it’s Ellen who is the focus of the Count’s attentions, and it’s Depp who carries much of the story’s weight. She…mostly accomplishes this, though the histrionics pile up quickly, especially as the film nears its climax.
Like The Witch, Nosferatu traffics extensively (some might say too much) in dread over outright terror (jump scares aside). And this has long been a criticism of Eggers: that he tends to be all “vibes,” as the kids say. Much of the movie is dreamlike, which is fitting given the number of those sequences in use.
But there are some stunning sequences: Hutter’s first meeting with Orlok, the sailors’ ordeal on the Demeter (?), Orlok gaslighting Ellen into believing all this is her fault(!).
Eggers also lays on the sexual aspect of vampirism pretty thickly. Orlok’s influence on Ellen and the act of bloodsucking are depicted rather carnally, even if Skarsgård’s appearance is distinctly hideous. That, and the frank nudity, is at odds with the Old World sensibilities. This is all by design, as the director also recollects the epistolary nature of Bram Stoker’s original novel.
Stalwart Eggers dudes Dafoe and Ralph Ineson are predictably wonderful as the eccentric Prof. Albin Eberhart Von Franz, and his former student, the more conventional Dr. Wilhelm Sievers. Aaron-Taylor Johnson and Emma Corrin, playing family friends of the Hutters, are initially relegated to reacting in the background. Until Ellen’s Wallachian boyfriend shows up, that is.
Nosferatu is a thing of hideous beauty, and faithful to the legend. To a fault, as it turns out. Eggers conducts his “Symphony of Horror” with such dead seriousness it threatens to veer into camp. How much you buy into it depends on your embrace of his aesthetic. And rats. Lots of rats.
Nosferatu is in theaters today.
This article appears in Jan 1 – Dec 31, 2024.
