Things To Watch: Predator: Killer of Killers

Title: Predator: Killer of Killers

Describe This Movie In One The Final Countdown Quote:

CAPT YELLAND: If the United States falls under attack our job is to defend her in the past, present and future.
LASKY: And after that?
CAPT YELLAND: After that, we take our orders from the Commander in Chief of the United States Armed Forces.
LASKY: Franklin Delano Roosevelt?

Brief Plot Synopsis: Ugly motherfuckers make life miserable across human history.

Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: 3.5 Fran Tarkentons out of 5.

Tagline: “Hunt the enemy, before they hunt you!”

Better Tagline: “If it bleeds, you’re probably pissing it off.”

Not So Brief Plot Synopsis: Spanning three historical eras, Predator: Killer of Killers finds the extraterrestrial Hunters pitted against: Ursa (Lindsay LaVanchy), a Viking warrior; Kenji (Louis Ozawa Changchien), a ninja battling his samurai brother; and Torres (Rick Gonzalez), a newly minted WWII Navy pilot. The three humans must come up with innovative ways to defeat their technologically superior foes, before facing an even bigger test.

“Critical” Analysis: Killer of Killers is a “surprise” Predator movie, revealed last October by director Dan Trachtenberg. After the success of Prey, Trachtenberg has apparently been given the keys to the Predator franchise, and P:KoK is something of an amuse-bouche before the theatrical release of Predator: Badlands later this year.

And like its culinary namesake, it’s a bit slight. The animation provided by The Third Floor, Inc. is nonetheless impressive, and allows KoK to qualify as the goriest in the series since 2. Trachtenberg kind of messes with the lore, since it was previously established that Predators tend to prefer warmer hunting grounds. I don’t know if spring in Japan counts, but I’m sure Norway doesn’t.

Also, don’t tell me we’re following “three of the fiercest warriors in history” when Torres is barely out of puberty and not even an aerial combat veteran. Calling him one of history’s fiercest warriors is like Obi-Wan telling Luke that Anakin “was already a great pilot” when they first met.

What Third Floor and the various voice actors do accomplish is giving each character a distinct personality. Ursa is driven by a thirst for revenge and relentless warrior ethic, Kenji is aloof and pragmatic, and Torres is ingenious and stereotypically wet behind the ears.

Michael Biehn also has a voice role, making him the third actor to have the honor of appearing (and usually dying) in each of the Alien, Terminator, and Predator universes (along with Bill Paxton and Lance Henriksen).

Here’s something that’s been bugging me since Prey: a snippet from the Yautja Codex (“yautja” being the name of the Predator race according to a 1994 novelization), displayed at the beginning of the movie, clearly tells the Predators to seek out only the strongest prey. We can be flexible with the definition in Killer of Killers: Ursa isn’t the strongest of the Vikings but is far and away the best fighter, and Kenji is selected/targeted because he’s the most lethal killer.

But if we assume the Codex is held sacrosanct, then why are the Predators still allowed to use ray guns and bombs? It made sense in the first two movies, given that the humans in those movies had modern military hardware. Watching these guys firing a concussive beam weapon against a bunch of Vikings, or dogfighting WW2 Corsairs with a fucking spaceship is some Camp Mohawk shit.

That’s what I get for ascribing morality to a race of aliens that are, like most big game trophy hunters, tremendous assholes.

Predator: Killer of Killers is now streaming on Hulu.