The year 2025 hasn’t been a great one for alleged “blockbusters” at the box office. Captain America: Brave New World was supposed to mark the MCU’s triumphant return, and while it made a profit you could still charitably call it “underwhelming.” Others, like Wolf Man, Mickey 17, and the live-action Snow White remake have underperformed, if not been outright duds.
The news is better for smaller movies like Black Bag, One of Them Days and The Monkey, which have done much better for themselves. It’s almost like mid-range films have an actual audience, and that sinking hundreds of millions of dollars into sequels, remakes, and vanity projects isn’t a profitable strategy after all.
And any lessons studios learn from this (unlikely!) aren’t going to take hold in time to stop a glut of the same shit hitting screens in the coming months. So buckle up, buttercups: it’s your 2025 Summer Movie Preview.
Thunderbolts* – May 2
Spoiler for an almost 30-year old comic book, but the Thunderbolts were initially presented to readers as a new group of superheroes stepping in to replace the Avengers (after they were allegedly killed battling Onslaught). They were later revealed to be the Masters of Evil (Baron Zemo, Goliath, Screaming Mimi, etc.).
*This* movie, on the other hand, assembles various MCU antiheroes (Yelena Belova, Bucky Barnes, U.S. Agent, etc.) who must band together after accepting a dangerous mission from Elaine Benes, who’s now Director of the CIA.
Not gonna lie, I’m kind of looking forward to this one.
Friendship – May 9
You had me at I Think You Should Leave’s Tim Robinson teaming up with asshole Paul Rudd, A24.
Final Destination: Bloodlines – May 16
Some will argue the fifth installment of the franchise is the best, but right-thinking people know that Final Destination 2 is the cream of the crop. A movie you remember any time you’re on the highway because there’s a logging truck in the vicinity is something special.
And that glass panel pancake kill is another all-timer.
Where was I? Oh yeah, Bloodlines looks to establish a hard start for the whole “Death has a blind spot when it comes to precogs” movie trope. I’m just surprised Jenna Ortega isn’t in it.
Lilo & Stitch/How to Train Your Dragon – May 23/June 13
“Well, if it isn’t the Lilo & Stitch and How to Train Your Dragon remakes, the answer to a question nobody asked.”
The other question nobody asked: How is cannibalizing your existing IP working for you so far, Disney and DreamWorks?
Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning – May 23
I’ve seen/reviewed so many of these movies the jokes almost write themselves. Of course the trailer shows Hunt running for half of it, and of course there are death-defying stunts we’d consider ridiculous if we weren’t convinced Tom Cruise was actually seeking the sweet release of death.
Predictions for the last Mission: Impossible movie:
> Ethan Hunt dies
> Luther sheds tears at his funeral
> Benji plays the bagpipes
> Kittridge runs for President, and wins
> Hannah Waddingham sings the theme song
> The big bad is played by Shelly Miscavige
Ballerina – June 6
Normally, I’d caution my daughters about not going anywhere with someone looking like Ian McShane. But if he taught them how to be remorseless killing machines, that seems like a calculated risk.
I guess this is Jane Wick? How much do you want to bet director Len Wiseman lobbied *really* hard for wife Kate Beckinsdale to play the lead? Ana de Armas proved her action chops in No Time To Die, and I’m always up for gratuitous double-taps to the skull. Looks fun!
28 Years Later – June 20
Know what doesn’t look fun? This.
I remember seeing 28 Days Later when it came out with my wife *and* my mother in the theater and getting a lot of grief for it, but I will stan Danny Boyle forever. This is the very definition of a cinematic long game, and as tired as the zombie genre has become, it should (?) be interesting to revisit this universe.
F1 – June 27
Formula One is so hot right now (TM). This might be one of the few times Hollywood clamps down on a zeitgeist in time to profit off of it, even if we’re supposed to buy a 61-year old as a driver in a sport where the oldest actual driver is 42 (Fernando Alonso).
I’ll assume dirctor Joseph Kosinski landed this based on this work on Top Gun: Maverick and not Spiderhead.
M3GAN 2.0 – June 27
Sure, why not. The first M3GAN was a lot more enjoyable than it had any right to be, and if there’s anything James Wan and Blumhouse know how to make scary, it’s dolls. This June is also a pretty sweet spot for horror, so expect this to make mucho bucks.
Jurassic World: Rebirth – July 2
“This summer a new era is born.” Another island, more raptors, and more dumbass humans, but sure: a new era.
At first glance, the new movie about idiot humans messing around with dinosaurs seems to have a lot going for it: Gareth Edwards, director of Godzilla and Rogue One takes over for Colin Trevorrow, David Koepp, screenwriter of the first Jurassic Park, returns to script, and Mahershala Ali and Scarlett Johansson replace Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard.
There’s a reason they keep making these: each of the movies in the previous trilogy grossed a billion dollars. CGI dinosaurs still put butts in seats, especially overseas, so expect Universal to keep churning these out until President Ivanka Trump bombs Hollywood in her fourth term.
Superman – July 11
The newest incarnation of everyone’s favorite son of Krypton hits theaters this summer, and it promises to be pretty much a complete 180 from the SnyderVerse’s Man of Sulk (but don’t take my word for it, just peep Guy Gardner in that trailer). Superman is the first film of James Gunn’s new DC Universe (DCU), kicking off “Chapter One: Gods and Monsters.”
I’m not saying Warner Bros is sweating bullets over its prospects, but we all remember what happened the last time they put one guy in charge of all their comic book movies.
I Know What You Did Last Summer – July 18
We’re getting into some Halloween-esque continuity here, as this will be a direct sequel to 1998’s I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, wisely ignoring 2006’s (direct to video) I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer.
I didn’t even have to look those titles up, because my kids watched all three on a ski trip a few years ago.
Anyway, this movie reunites original cast members Jennifer Love Hewitt and Freddie Prinze Jr. Looks like the Boomers aren’t the only ones refusing to step aside and give younger workers a chance.
The Fantastic Four: First Steps – July 25
Speaking of hard restarts. The MCU will continue its attempt to move on from The Marvels and CA: BNW with a third attempt to bring the F4 (not to be confused with F1 above) to the big screen.
Was retro the right way to go? Dunno, but setting them in the present day didn’t really work for the last three movies. And this one actually shows Galactus. Hopefully the vibes from this will carry through until the Marvel movie where the Thing fights the Hulk.
Together – August 1
Congrats to NEON for producing one of the few original properties on this list. What starts as a sweet if somewhat cloying romance takes a hard swerve into WTF. Rest assured the main reason I’m including it here is so that last shot can freak you out as much as it did me.
You’re welcome.
Freakier Friday – August 8
See, it’s “freakier” because instead of *two* people swapping bodies, you’ve got *four*. The only question for the inevitable third movie is if they advance that number arithmetically (six bodies) or exponentially (16). Might need to get Jodie Foster in the next one.
Nobody 2 – August 15
I’m probably the biggest Bob Odenkirk fan there is (he was the only good part of The Ben Stiller Show. Fight me), and even I was a little surprised at how good the original Nobody was. Universal was as well, pleasantly so, and here we are.
…and yet, Odenkirk is 62 years old. We’re not getting into Harrison Ford punching guys in Dial of Destiny, but it’s close.
