Yesterday was Shannen Doherty’s 40th birthday, with the Queen Bitch of the ’90s more than likely celebrating by setting her boyfriend’s Mustang on fire and sending a dozen supreme pizzas to her local Lane Bryant. At least that’s my beautiful, dark, twisted fantasy.
During her time on Beverly Hills 90210, and most every acting role she has ever taken, Doherty has perfected the modern template for what a “bitch” is. Conniving, controlling, vicious, she was all these things in the hands of screenwriters and producers who saw her natural scowl and flippant attitude as a chance to turn her into the biggest one of the best ball-busters on television. And she reveled in it, it seems.
Even the notion that powerful women are bitches or ball-busters is a tad irritating in 2011. As a man who comes from a long-line of strong women, I don’t see domineering behavior as necessarily a bad thing. There’s nothing wrong with getting what you want. Guys get away with it and they get called deciders, decision-makers, CEO’s, international rap stars.
Surely some of the stuff that the characters on this list got into over the run of their TV series could be labeled as “bitchy”, but those are the breaks of a modern society. Let a player play, and let a bitch covertly film herself playing nude in a hot tub for use as blackmail at a later date. Sometimes you can be a man, and still be a bitch too.
Nancy Grace Nancy Grace
Amanda Woodward, Melrose Place
Celia Hodes, Weeds
Mimi Bobeck, The Drew Carey Show
Alexis Carrington, Dynasty
Judge Judy Sheindlin, Judge Judy
Marcia Brady, The Brady Bunch
Naomi Clark, 90210
Berta, Two & A Half Men
Sue Sylvester Glee
Honorable Mentions
Hurley, Lost
Marcy D’Arcy, Married…With Children
Kimmy, Full House
Kate Sanders, Lizzie McGuire
Pete Campbell, Mad Men
This article appears in Apr 7-13, 2011.