They say chicks aren't funny, mostly because women tend to have higher-pitched voices that can't penetrate all the meat in some people's heads. We love us some funny chicks, and if they're hot on top of everything else, well then, that's just a bonus.
Since we spend even more time on the Internet than the average male perv does, and even get paid for it thanks to the miracle of modern journalism, we thought we'd take this opportunity to steer you toward both some brilliant, side-splitting work, and also to some Grade A, Top Choice Meat.
Editor's Note: I've asked you never to quote the Wedding Singer on numerous occasions.
Our only experience with Julia is her one-off appearance on Ask a Ninja as the Ninja's niece Killisa, but she stole our heart there in a totally romantic way, not in an "Oh God! That's supposed to stay inside me way." Being shrouded in black only made us wonder what she would look like with about 90 percent of it peeled away, and what do you know? Here's that pic.
Megahn, better known as the vampire Heather, started out as second banana to Kelly of "Shoes" fame. Now she's branched out into her own series of videos where she and her dad answer questions about everyday vampire unlife. The show is hysterical, and Perry epitomizes adorability. She, Ashley Greene and Deborah Ann Woll should totally have a cute vampire pillow fight or something.
Ilana balances looks and laughs perfectly. Just for an extra added bonus, here's a NSFW video co-starring Megahn! Unfortunately, it's NSFW for blood and not boobs, but it's still funny as hell.
We got into Stevie from her video for "Goth Blocked." She is truly a woman of a thousand faces, and we take every opportunity we can to use our favorite line of hers from her Little Loca videos, "His breaf done smell like another lady's coochie." Word is she's getting a television show soon. Can't wait. In the meantime, here's a little something to sell the hot side of the equation.
Jenna is hands down the hottest woman in all of Internet comedy, as well as one of the most reliable with new videos every Wednesday. She is arguably one of the most successful as well, with millions of subscribers and a new hit song called "Bounce That Dick." Surely her rather unique comedy stylings are a big part of her popularity, but the fact that she has a body more rockin' than the entire Van Halen catalog can't be hurting. Which she doesn't mind showing off at all.
Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.