Film and TV

Top 7 Chainsaw Killers Who Aren't From Texas (With One NSFW Video)

My favorite horror film of all time is Texas Chainsaw Massacre for a variety of reasons. First of all, no film has ever had a better name. It's just not possible. Second, it has the perfect formula for a nightmare.

Our villains are utterly human and completely unearthly at the same time. Marilyn Burns keeps almost getting away but is repeatedly recaptured like a person usually is in an endless bad dream. Plus, there's that whole universal fear of cannibalism thing going on, but it's the saw itself that stands tallest I feel.

On a certain level I know that a chainsaw is a perfectly normal tool. My dad has one, and the only thing he murders is his own brain cells with too much Fox News. I know that, but when I see a chainsaw my first thought isn't, "That'd cut right through those dead branches." It's, "Holy shit, someone put a motor on a sword because they have grown bored with conventional murder.

That said, I don't think Texas should hog all the fun, and that's why today we celebrate Leatherface's fellow disciples of the saw. These disciples shall number seven to reflect the seven Chainsaw Massacre films.

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Jef Rouner is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner