Bet You a Million Bucks Your Christmas Wasn’t As Good As Alvin Heggs’s (Maybe)
You know what’s a great way to celebrate the day before Christmas Eve? Cashing in a million-dollar scratch-off lottery ticket. That’s what Houstonian Alvin R. Heggs did, the Texas Lottery announced today. Heggs bought the ticket at a Shop N Go at 1999 FM 1960 West Rd. It was part…
5 Young Jeezy Quotes To Get You Laid On New Years
If you’ve spent the better part of six years needing a hood, ignorant (and in the words of Jay Bilas’ prophetic) New Years celebration, leave it to Young Jeezy to supply all your needs and demands. Who cares if you don’t flip bricks or do things that the Snowman does…
Blake A. Pate: Tries to Wrestle HPD Cop, Gets Killed
A 24-year-old Pearland man is dead after tussling with a Houston police officer at an accident scene. Blake A. Pate was shot about 11:15 p.m. Christmas night by HPD Sergeant C.W. Hampton; his identity was released today by police. HPD says Hampton noticed a suspicious vehicle driving in the 9300…
OH HAI 2012: Ten Indie Tunes To Ring In Your New Year
Nothin’ like a brand-spankin’, shiny new year. It’s a time to reflect on the past twelve months and for the next twelve, make ridiculous resolutions (drink and drive less, limit walks of shame to two per week, pay child support, stop cutting own bangs, eat more fruit…snacks) we know we…
Cover Story: The Year in Crime
We like to think we are pretty hard to surprise. As the son of hard-living hippies who were close friends of people like Steve Earle and Townes Van Zandt, I’d seen more by the time I was 12 than many of my peers have experienced up to this day. Since…
In Memoriam: Musicians And Industry Giants We Lost In 2011
For Rocks Off, one of the creepiest parts of our job is to report on deaths in the industry. Now matter how old or young the musician or mogul is, it’s hard to try to quantify a person’s life over the course of a few hundred words. How can you?…
The 10 Best New Restaurants of 2011
The challenge in choosing 10 of the best restaurants to open in Houston each year is a daunting one: Many of the restaurants I think are “the best” have little to nothing to do with each other, making for a list that falls all over the map when it comes…
Ring in the New Year with French-Texan Flair at Philippe
Chef Philippe Schmit calls himself “the French cowboy.” It’s a self-assigned nickname that can also apply to the overall aesthetic at his namesake restaurant, Philippe, which is the subject of this week’s cafe review. Schmit’s food is strongly French, make no doubt about it. But in among the French standards…
Barrio Dogs: Helping Rescue Dogs Through Outreach and Education
The holidays are a time of parties and joy, and also of dubious charities beating down your door to get to your pocketbook. So Hair Balls wants to cut through the chaos and recommend you check at Barrio Dogs, a nonprofit working to fight animal cruelty and neglect in low-income…
10 Things Rock Music Should Do This Year to Regain Former Glory
When I saw School of Rock for the first time, I was struck by just how accurate Jack Black’s character was when teaching kids the meaning behind rock music. Telling the one girl with the great voice to listen to “Great Gig in the Sky” or letting his students know…
Tasting Notes: Holiday Wine Blog Round Up
Vintage Texas: Top Texas wine writer and Houstonian Russ Kane weighs in this week with his Top Texas Wines of 2011. In the first installment, he reveals five of the ten, including a few from wineries we don’t always see in year-end lists of favorite labels from Texas. Russ’s new…
Eruption: Our Dream Van Halen Concert Setlist
I gave you all fair warning – pardon the pun – on Monday morning when the Van Halen concert announcement went out that Rocks Off wouldn’t be quiet when it came to Van Halen. In the next few weeks we will be getting word of the Houston date, so until…
We Bought a Zoo Ticket Giveaway
We Bought a Zoo stars Matt Damon, Thomas Haden Church, Colin Ford, Scarlett Johansson, and Elle Fanning; Cameron Crowe directs. The Houston Press has ten passes to give away for the film We Bought a Zoo. These are passes for four, good any Monday through Thursday, except holidays, at any…
Chef Chat, Part 1: Chris Leung of Restaurant conāt
In many ways, Chris Leung is an idealist. After several starts and stops to figure out what he wanted to do, he took the plunge into the world of pastry so he could do something he’d be passionate about. It paid off. This past year, Leung was recognized as one…
The Aggies’ SEC 2012 Schedule Is Out, and It’s a Killer
Welcome to the SEC, Aggies!! With every team in the nation’s toughest football conference gunning to teach the Ags a lesson, the newly released 2012 schedule shows a rough road for A&M: Alabama and Auburn on the road, for starters. The Ags will also face LSU, meaning they will play…
Bethany Solomon: How Not to Pose for Your Mugshot When You’re Accused of Intimidating a Witness
A Trinity woman has been arrested for the second time this month, and this time police say she tried to intimidate a witness in her first case. Back on December 2, Solomon, 26, and 49-year-old Gena Williams were arrested after they allegedly sold meth to an undercover agent of the…
Tips For A Successful NYE from David Anderson, Houston’s Party King
Remember that one awesome party, the invite-only one with the open bar that was sponsored by a liquor company, where everyone was beautiful and hip, and you got to mingle with Big Boi or Pharrell Williams or Bun B? Either you do remember, because you wish that every party you…
Taped Live Brit Plays Come to Sundance Houston in High Def
It’s like a tour of the British theater scene on the cheap. Sundance Cinemas is bringing four taped performances of the National Theatre of London to downtown Houston starting in January and running through April. And even in a city like Houston with its extensive theater scene, Sundance Cinemas expects…
Brew Blog: Austin Eastciders Gold Top Cider
When I snagged this (at least at the time) somewhat rare (in Houston) bottle over at D&Q, the friendly proprietress talked my ear off about how important it is to support locals, even when they’re 162 miles away. She waxed poetic about the contents, too, saying “this isn’t like other…
Reviews For The Easily Distracted: War Horse
Title: War Horse What Is It Good For? Almost absolutely nothing, unless you’re desperate for a terribly clichéd, family-friendly movie about one of the bloodiest wars in human history. Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: One Big Bertha out of five. Tagline: “Separated by war. Tested by battle…
Ask a Rapper: The 10 Best Posts of 2011
The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place – lots of times, you’re even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good – so once a week we’re going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Something you always wanted to…
DVDs & Blu-rays: One Last Look at December
All three of these DVDs were released in early December. They didn’t make our cut then, but we thought we’d take one more look at them. The Found Footage Festival: Volume 1 (2004) and The Found Footage Festival: Volume 2 (2005) star Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher; Pickett and Prueher…
New Year’s Eve Dining (What’s Open, Deals and Hangover Fixes for the Following Day)
Yeah, yeah, we know. New Year’s Eve is supposed to be a time of reflection filled with hope and promise for the coming year, a time to move forward and leave our struggles in the past. But for those of us resolving to lose weight in 2012, New Year’s Eve…
Houston’s Long Hot Dry Year: 2011 Year in Weather
There’s an old saying, “If you don’t like the weather in Texas, wait.” In 2011, that statement was on full display as we suffered some of the wildest weather changes the state has ever seen. In Houston, there was at least some consistency. Unfortunately, that consistency came in the form…
NFL Week 17 Viewing Guide — What in the Blue Hell Each Game Means
“College football has the best regular season of any sport, and the lack of a playoff is one big reason why.” — Bill Hancock, Executive Director, Bowl Cartel Championship Series That’s my favorite inane argument against a college football playoff — that somehow the existence of a playoff cheapens the…
Internet Death Pools Take Aim at Kirk Douglas, Fidel Castro and Sean Connery for 2012
Internet death pools are either the most morbid thing online, or the most human. How many times have you sat around a party or your workplace and opined about what celebrity would die next? Whenever celebrities and other public figures run afoul of police, booze or drugs, most people openly…
Morris “Big Boy” Jones: Luck Runs Out for (Alleged) Westside Fence
According to court records, police already had Morris “Big Boy” Jones over a barrel when they rolled up outside his Katy home. A criminal complaint shows they had already seized more than $30,000 worth of stolen Palais Royal threads from his storefront way out Clay Road. And when police went…
Clouds Are Ghosts: Harbinger Heralds Brilliance
We got into the Clouds are Ghosts while deconstructing their band name. It was clear when we heard their work that the band was good, we compared them to Legendary Pink Dots and the Irrespressibles and that is some of our highest praise. The only problem we ever had with…
Nyan Cats & Golden-Voiced Hoboes: The Best Viral Videos of 2011
This was another banner year for stupid shit to waste time at work watching, with a plethora of viral videos making the rounds, spreading like proverbial wildfire — all too real of a metaphor for us Texans — and also creating a cottage industry of videos spoofing the most popular…
Sampler Plate: This Week in Food Blogs
Weapons Grade: Read this post even if you don’t read any of the others this week. This one illustrates everything right with Houston’s young culinary scene right now. “Houston is the city that taught me everything I know about wine and service,” writes Justin Vann of his decision to leave…
9 Notable Texas Deaths of 2011: Football, Gay Rights & Fodder for JFK Conspiracists
Texas gives to the world, and eventually the people who do the giving die. Such was the case in 2011, when at least nine notable Texans joined the Choir Invisible, the Great Majority, the dead. Without them, there would no Weed-Eaters, and perhaps the greatest college football/politician scandal ever wouldn’t…
Five Factors That Will Influence the Growth of Streaming Music in 2012
We all know that in December of 2012, the Mayan calendar ends as will the world, but before that fateful day, I’ve got a lot of music to listen to and, like many, I seem to be doing that increasingly on my computer and via streaming music services. Whether it…
Kimberley Briggs: Police Say She Beat Sister at Mom’s Funeral in Fight over Heirloom Jewels
Even in the best of times, the holidays can be a time of extreme stress. Add in the death of a parent, and you have the proverbial tinderbox of flammable emotions. One such firestorm came to a head yesterday in Kilgore, where local police say two sisters got into a…
10 Lesser Known Pre-Sammy Van Halen Songs to Prepare for the Tour
When I was a kid, the first record (or cassette in this case) I wore out was the first album from Van Halen. I played the cassette so many times, the tape started squealing. I got another copy and did the same thing. It along with KISS’ Alive II re-enforced…
Pop Rocks: And Now, Your Worst Movies of 2011
As 2011 draws to a close, the natural tendency is to reflect on events of the past 12 months. Did we accomplish everything we’d hoped? Did we end the year in a better place than we started? Did that terrifying rash all over our genitalia clear up on its own,…
The Biggest Disappointments of 2011
I think that 2012 is shaping up to be Houston’s year, after a long 2011 featuring false starts, delayed openings, unexpected closings and failures to launch. That’s not to say that 2011 didn’t have its perks: Look for our list of the year’s best new restaurant later this week. But…
Happy Birthday David Knopfler: 7 Lesser Known Rock Music Siblings
In the holiday movie Fred Claus, Vince Vaughn plays Fred, the bitter older brother of Santa Claus. In one scene, he goes to a group counseling session with the brothers of Sylvester Stallone, Bill Clinton, Alec Baldwin and others to vent his frustration. Today is the 60th birthday of David…
Classics Innovated at The Union Kitchen
I don’t quite understand how after four years of living in Houston, I only just visited The Union Kitchen. And it’s only five minutes from my school. Shameful, shameful. My “good restaurant” radar finally picked up on the restaurant after I stumbled on some enticing online photos of its appetizers…
Harris County Sues Over All That Dixon in the San Jacinto River
Harris County attorney Vince Ryan announced he’s suing a collection of companies for 45 years’ worth of pollution in the San Jacinto River, and he’s asking for up to $25,000 a day in penalties. Ryan is suing International Paper Company, Waste Management, Inc., Waste Management of Texas, Inc. and McGinnis…
Tuesday December 27, 2011 Deals of the Day
Today’s VOICE Daily Deal from the Houston Press is good for 50 percent off ($9 for $18) brick-oven pizza and more at Essie’s Pizzeria. Grab an authentic pie from Essie’s, where they make the dough from scratch and a host of awesome toppings so you can build your own perfect…
Houston’s Nine Members of Congress: Net Worth of Almost $400 Million
The Center for Responsive Politics has put out its list of the net worth of every member of Congress, and the Houston delegation are no slackers. The nine representatives have a net worth estimated to be $392.4 million, which is a pretty impressive figure. Actually, most of it comes…
And the Winner Is…
Congratulations to our winners: Rachel G., Joseph, Aaron G., Mikblom M. and Rex J. They each win a special Girl with the Dragon Tattoo swag bag filled with a T-shirt, knit cap, bookmark, bracelet and poster. We’ll be directly contacting our winners soon. You have the choice of coming by…
Gothic Council Makes Its News Year’s Resolutions
Well, Christmas is over, as is Festivus for the rest of us, and now 2012 is barreling down at us like Donkey Kong threw it. Some people say that this year will be humanity’s last, but since we say that as often as we can we’re not too worried about…
First Look at Roost
Roost is still BYOB for the time being, while new owner Kevin Naderi sorts out the last of his licensing issues.This is absolutely to your advantage, as the hatchling cafe, which only opened on December 11, is the sort of neighborhood bistro where you’ll want to take a bottle of…
The Top 10 Eating Our Words Posts of 2011
Ahh, the year in eating. In 2011 we saw food trucks find critical mass all over town, beer lovers rejoice over the influx of microbrews in Houston, Paula Deen become her very own meme, and international attention on our restaurant scene thanks to a strange little social media snafu. Without…
Arcade Fire, Civil Wars, Taylor Swift to Pen Hunger Games Songs
You may or may not remember a week ago when we told you about how the head of the largest musicians’ union in North America ripped into Lionsgate for farming out the score for the upcoming film Hunger Games to Europe despite the film’s Appalachian setting and decidedly American style…
Jewish Christmas: Chinese Take-Out, Woody Allen, and Champagne
Like many Jewish-Americans, I grew up going to the movies and eating classic Americanized Chinese food on Christmas Day. Today, now that I’m all growed up and married to a Methodist from East Texas, we celebrate in our home with a Christmas tree garnished by gifts, round-the-clock Christmas music, and…
Justise Winslow: Your High-School Dunk of the Day
Justise Winslow is only a sophomore at St. John’s High School, but already he has the top schools in college basketball eager to sign him up. Why? Maybe because of plays like the one below, which is spreading over the net. Winslow was tossed out of the game for taunting…
Top 5 Chocolate-Peanut Butter Desserts To Try in Houston
For many dessert fiends, there’s no sweeter marriage than peanut butter and chocolate. These days, however, it’s hard to find restaurants and bakeries that serve this delectable combination. I’m not sure about the reason for this backlash, though I suspect it has something to do with the increasing number of…
Rap Round Table: The Ten Best Discussions of the Year
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Welp. Ya heard? That’s that. It’s the last week of 2011. That’s cool. Or shitty. Whatevs. No matter. Right here, right now, we’re going to take…
Unexpected Moments in Houston Theatre 2011
There are moments in theater when your heart seems to stop and you dare not breathe, lest you miss the power on stage. There are moments when you want to collapse in the aisle with uproarious laughter. And there are moments, usually quieter and often minor, when there is simply…
Comment of the Day: The Aeros’ Logo DOES NOT Stink
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Pop Rocks: The Worst Movies of 2011
As 2011 draws to a close, the natural tendency is to reflect on events of the past 12 months. Did we accomplish everything we’d hoped? Did we end the year in a better place than we started? Did that terrifying rash all over our genitalia clear up on its own,…
John Lawrence, Who Got the Anti-Sodomy Law Tossed Out, Dies
The man who got the Supreme Court to toss out Texas’s anti-sodomy law died last month, and the news came out over the holidays. In a way it’s not surprising that John Lawrence’s death flew under the radar — the man who helped grab headlines and shattered old laws about…
ACK! Takes Over Jenni’s Noodle House
If you are just about to the point of Christmas decoration overload and even the most ridiculous looking blow-up snowman inside a snow globe doesn’t make you crack a smile, head over to Jenni’s Noodle House in the Heights for something totally different. Look up and you will see a…
5 Bands Lou Reed Should Have Called Instead of Metallica
As mentioned in Nathan Smith’s “Bummer, Dude: The 10 Big Musical Disappointments of 2011”, Lulu, the not-at-all-anticipated-by-me aural abortion resulting from the un-Godly union of The Progenitor of All Things Cool, Three Insufferable Man-Children & Kirk Hammett, SUCKED. This was crushing for me on so many fronts, mainly because Lou…
Where Are We Drinking?
This extremely well-equipped downtown bar is located in an unusual spot, one perfect for taking in a popular Christmas break activity. And by “well-equipped,” we mean this place has many bars in town beat with its selection of locally brewed craft beers and ciders, unusual imports and some serious spirits…
Jets Fan Pooch-Punts Giants Fan’s Skull (w/ VIDEO and Zapruder-Like Analysis)
Spending Christmas Eve in the emergency room, whether as a patient or a loved one of a patient, is no fun. Trust me, I’ve had to do it twice. Back in 2000, my son Sammy was only six months old and had to go to the emergency room and stay…
Review: Young Sensation’s C.H.I.L.L. (Cool High Intellectual Loving Life)
“Niggas making rap lists. And I ain’t ever on ’em.” – Young Sensation Maybe it was a ruse, a misdirection of sorts? Maybe he’s like the drunk villager in the kung-fu movies, fumbling around, moving in an only seemingly incoherent manner? Ignore that he decided to call himself Young Sensation…
The Rest of the Best: Houston’s Top 10 Neighborhood Bars
For the next 20 weeks, we’ll be rounding up the runners-up to our 2011 Best of Houston® winners. In many categories, picking each year’s winner is no easy task. We’ll be spotlighting 20 of those categories, in which the winner had hefty competition from other Houston bars and restaurants. Here…
8 Hip Hop Collaborations We’d Like to See in 2012
If we learned anything from hip-hop collaborations in 2011, it’s that beef ain’t what’s hot anymore. Gone are the days where an argument manifests itself into a 40-minute mixtape or a DVD. The shelf life for fresh rap beef is approximately 24 hours. Not even two days ago, Twitter was…
Bottle Service: I Just. Don’t. Get. It.
I first learned about bottle service my freshman year in college. I was new to the Big City and all of its glamorous social practices and an acquaintance of my roommate had been “lucky” enough to be treated to the experience by her much older, i-banking boyfriend. I initially thought…
Comment of the Day: But My Mom Sucks at Facebook
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Chafing 101: Rocks Off’s 2011 Music Festival Odyssey
Music festivals are now a part of our lives, just like deadlines, angry commenters, lack of sleep, and eye fatigue. And eating at our desk. That sucks. But at least we have food and a desk, right? Rocks Off ventured all over the state — OK, really mostly Austin –…
Holiday Classics: The Chocolate Truffle
Each week this month, we’ve featured some holiday cookie classics on Eating Our Words in honor of the season. With Santa and Hanukkah Harry fully bribed by our delicious treats, it’s time we whip out the big guns: New Year’s Eve’s Chocolate Truffles. When I think about truffles, I think…
Bring Back Boxing Day
Today is Boxing Day. Okay, maybe not over here. Boxing Day, December 26, is traditionally a British holiday, although it’s also now celebrated in countries such as Canada and Australia. Boxing Day in those places now has the same sort of connotation that our own Black Friday does: The day…
6 College Football Coaching Changes: From Shadiest to Slimiest
From status-seeking coaches to wheeling-and-dealing athletic directors, the post-season shake-up of college football head coaches has been a bit curious. The top (lowest?) six moves are ranked here on a scale of shady to slimy (“mildly shady” being a 1 while a “super duper ball of slimy grossness” checks out…
The Top 10 Hard Rock and Metal Guitarists of the ’80s
Well, it’s the day after Christmas and many of you probably have some holiday blues. Maybe you had a rough Christmas. Maybe your family is making you crazy. Maybe you didn’t get that brand new navel ring you wanted or perhaps you filled up on so much food and egg…
Keep On Truckin’: The Rice Box
I don’t really get to keep up with the food truck scene much, owing to my almost total lack of ability to actually take a lunch break. The chances of me being able to leave the office for long enough to navigate the tunnels 50 feet below are frequently pretty…
What’s Cooking This Week?
Last week’s Hanukkah-inspired menu was insanely delicious. We even had a few friends over one night for some Hanukkah-inspired drinking games; Dreidel has never been so fun. Since I’m going home for the New Year soon, this week I’ll be trying to use up what’s left in my fridge and…
The 10 Most Popular Cover Stories of 2011
Each year we take a look back at the most popular print stories from the past 12 months. This year our readers were really into food, crime and drama. But our most popular story? It may have been read by more Texans outside of Houston than any other cover we’ve…
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: Can You Stomach Onscreen Rape and Torture?
It isn’t necessary to have read or watched the versions of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo already in existence to be aware of their reputation for extreme violence. The latest American interpretation of the bestselling book hit theaters last week, and the abuse in this feminist revenge saga has…
Happy Mauro Hamza Day! 5 Great Sword Fighting Themes
We do love our obscure holidays here at Rocks Off, as well as setting up playlists for them, but this is the first time we’ve gotten to tackle a holiday exclusive to our own city. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Mauro Hamza. Hamza, is the coach for the 2012 United States…
Where Are We Eating?
The spread of pita, baba ganoush, tabouleh, quail and lamb kebab below comes from a place very appropriate for the day after Christmas: a restaurant whose calling card reads “The Taste of Bethlehem” under its name. Can you guess where this spread of delicious Palestinian food comes from? Leave your…
MasterMinds One Year Later: Foodways Texas’s Bycatch and Barbecue
This time one year ago, Foodways Texas was an extremely young collective of chefs, food historians and other epicureans seeking to preserve the food history and traditional Gulf Coast/Creole/Cajun cuisine of Texas. The organization, founded by former Houston Press food critic Robb Walsh, was partially inspired by the Southern Foodways…
The Year in Aeros Hockey: To the Top and Back
John RoyalThe Aeros like to hold Miss Aeros Bikini Contests.To wrap up my year in review of the teams I cover, here’s a look back at the 25 most significant moments with the Houston Aeros for the year 2011. 1. The Aeros added veterans Jed Ortmeyer and Patrick O’Sullivan to…
Van Halen Announces 2012 Tour On Twitter, Official Site
Here it is folks, your first stirrings of Van Halen’s 2012 tour, long rumored, but now a sweet reality. OK, we won’t believe it until we have a tour tee in our hands outside Toyota Center and a sweaty, torn ticket stub in our wallet. Late Sunday night on Twitter,…
Merry Christmas from Eating Our Words and the Houston Press (and Paula Deen)
Illustration by Monica Fuentes…
Gumby Christmas Lights for the Win
Here’s something to warm your Christmas heart — a display of lights in Westbury. It’s always difficult to get scale on these lights-at-night pictures, but those white lights on the right are the height of a ranch house. So Gumby is a two-story wonder, attached to a front-lawn tree. And…
Merry Christmas From The Houston Music Scene: Free Music Downloads (UPDATED)
Welp, it’s been a year to say the least. There has been so much great music, amazing shows, new discoveries, many sad and happy milestones, and Rocks Off tried to cover all of it these past 12 months. Next year will be even more awesome, for so many reasons, which…
Merry Christmas! This Weekend’s Football Best Bets
Before I get into this weekend’s best bets, a couple paragraphs on the Texans’ 19-16 loss to the Colts last night: Was that officiating crew terrible last night? Yes. But good lord, I’ve never seen a bigger bunch of whiny babies than Texan fans last night on Twitter and this…
Ten Albums That Should Be Grammy Nominated Over Linda Chorney’s
The small world of Americana music is all a-twitter over New Jersey woman Linda Chorney’s nomination for a Grammy in the Americana category. In case you haven’t been following the story, Chorney discovered a way to game the system and managed to convince quite a number of Grammy voters (who…
Hail, Santa: The Top 10 Metal Christmas Carol Covers
Rocks Off likes to believe that Christmas is such a merry holiday, even some of Satan’s most stalwart servants can’t help but get into the act. Of course, it could be that heavy metal musicians record Christmas music for the same reason as Mariah Carey: Because there’s a crapload of…
Colts 19, Texans 16: The Day the Sports Gods Reminded Houstonians to Know Our Role
For months, it seemed as though the Texans were the average Houstonian’s sports salvation. Never mind the Astros’ status as the worst organization in baseball and a Bud Selig-forced move to the American League after 50 years. Never mind that the Rockets, after cleverly orchestrating a trade and subsequent scheme…
Look At This Now: The Niceguys’ “Ari Gold (Remix),” Featuring Bun B
So good. The song. The video. The idea. The levels. Bun’s stoicism. Yves’s bombast. Yves’s during the chorus. YVES DURING THE CHORUS. 2:47 to 2:51. The intro. The outro. Basically everything between the intro and the outro. So good…
This Week in Deliciousness
Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where we’ve been getting complaints all week from our homeowner’s association regarding our Figgy Pudding Launcher. Hey, listen: the carolers demand figgy pudding. It’s not my fault that they always fail to specify how fast it should be traveling…
Aftermath: ABN, Performing Together For The First Time Ever, at Warehouse Live
11:04 p.m.: This is going to be a good show. Somehow, this is the first time of the universe that Trae and Z-Ro have performed as ABN, the group a lot of people were saying could’ve maybe been as nationally famous as the Geto Boys (the GB are, for certain,…
Upcoming Events: Not Too Late for New Year’s Plans
Next week, we’ll have a complete round-up of New Year’s Eve dinners and dining events. But this week, we’re spotlighting three favorites to include in Upcoming Events — make your reservations now! Jasper’s in The Woodlands is hosting a prix-fixe feast created by Chef Kent Rathbun featuring the restaurant’s “gourmet…
Snow Fight: The Week in Photos
It’s time again to check out the Houston Press Flickr Pool and see what kinds of art shots our talented photographers have added. We love street art, unique perspectives and beautiful photos of Houston’s creative community. If you think you’ve got a good eye, drop your pictures in the pool…
Openings & Closings: Refined Refineries
As if the news that Dallas’s Burger House and Colorado’s Elevation Burger are coming to town wasn’t enough, Houston’s getting another interesting-looking addition to its vast burger scene: The Refinery: Burgers & Whiskey, which is busily remodeling and moving into the old 702 Patio Bar space at the corner of…
The X Factor: Winner Revealed!
Last night’s two-hour finale extravaganza took under an hour to watch, if you were armed with a DVR and an inability to watch a lot of old footage from throughout the season. The highlights of the finale episode were the hometown crowds cheering on their favorite contestant via satellite feed,…
Hair Balls’ Most Popular Posts of 2011
It’s hard to believe 2011 is almost over, and that the year of the Mayan Apocalypse is fast approaching. We’re taking this time of soul searching and retrospection to look back at the most popular posts of the past 12 months, in the hopes that you might relive the fun…
Reality Bites: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
There are a million reality shows on the naked television. We’re going to watch all of them, one at a time. This particular episode was called “A Book, a Bachelorette and a Breakdown.” “But reality, what does it mean?” — Curtis Mayfield It’s a given at this point to say…
Lemmy Turns 66: Get Your Kicks With A Collection Of Great Pics
Tomorrow, on Christmas Eve, Motorhead’s Lemmy Kilmister turns 66 years old. Is it a coincidence that Lemmy was born the day before we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ? If Lemmy is in fact God, it gives us all a chance to reflect on the father before we indulge in…
5 Tips for Serving Champagne and Sparkling Wine
Even if you missed our Top 5 Champagnes Under $60 for the Holidays, you’ll find that your favorite wine shop will have a tide of options when it comes to sparkling wine, including traditional- and classic-method wines (i.e., wines made using the méthode champenoise but grown and raised outside Champagne)…
Top 10 Sports Moments of 2011
Think about it: Eliminate the Astros and Houston had a year worthy of holding down multiple spots on this list that encompasses athletic accomplishments both inside and outside of the best U.S. state. 10. The Rise of the Houston Dynamo They broke ground on a new stadium, and then went…
DEFCON Dining: Escalante’s Mexican Restaurant
Man, the lead-up to the holidays has been filled with an odd combination of periods of cooking frenzy, trying to get caught up on some kitchen projects before year’s end, and last-minute dinners, wedged into the hustle and bustle of holiday prep. It doesn’t help the madness that my extended…
Happy Gothmas! Top 10 Goth Christmas Songs
“Dude, religious Christmas is pretty macabre. All kinds of scandal, sex with a ghost, strangers bringing mystical gifts, and everyone predicting this young couple’s baby’s death like its glorious wonderful thing. Oh and a decree to slaughter all male babies the next day… what could be more goth?” -Kassi Gooch…
Reviews For The Easily Distracted: Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol
Title: Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol WTF Is “Ghost Protocol?” What Casper and Samara learned at finishing school, I guess. Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: Three Soviet Vanessa Angels out of five. Tagline: “No plan. No backup. No choice.” Better Tagline: “Help me, Brad Bird. You’re my…
Bartender Chat: Bryce of Gigi’s Asian Bistro
I still had a few things I needed to cross off my Christmas list that I had been putting off, as these specific items could only be found at the Galleria. Then, like a total nutjob, I decided to go shopping this past weekend and paid for it with my…
Houston Theater: Xmas Stockings & Xmas Sockings
Dear Theater Santa: Candy canes and full stockings to the many Houston theaters which do such brilliant work. Here’s a small sampling from a cornucopia of talent, in no particular order (followed by, Dear Santa, things we’d like to see changed in the next year): Theatre Southwest and Theatre UpStage…
Classic Christmas: Mannheim Steamroller’s Christmas
Over the holidays, we’re looking back at some classic Christmas albums taking some track by track and just digging on others. Let me just get this out of the way right off the bat: I don’t care for Mannheim Steamroller. I think their music is odd and a little creepy…
The Year in Astros Baseball: Thank God That’s Over
So let’s continue our look back at the sporting year that was 2011 by taking a look at the Top 25 events to happen to the Houston Astros. 1. They finished with the worst record in team history, which was quite the accomplishment seeing as how the Astros were pretty…
Week in Photos: Happy Holidays
Each week, we take a dip into the Houston Press Flickr pool and see what our talented photographers have been up to. We’re looking for pictures that represent the best of Houston, from food to art to events, to secret hidden spots of beauty. Just drop them in our Flickr…
If Twitter Had Been Around on It’s A Wonderful Life‘s Christmas Eve
How did people ever survive without Twitter? Luckily, it is now a strictly theoretical question, as we are comfortably ensconced in a world where we are kept updated on what very casual acquaintances are having for lunch, or whether that one person who occasionally provides a newsy update is currently…
Happy Kitteh Christmas! Celebrate With These Improved Movie Posters
Only one thing can make Christmas better — kittens. Ummm, right? We guess if you’re a kitten person, that would be true. And if you’re not, it’s a whole lot easier to look at them than to deal with them, so enjoy the card. And if you’re a person who…
The Rest of the Best: Houston’s Top 10 Hot Dogs
For the next 20 weeks, we’ll be rounding up the runners-up to our 2011 Best of Houston® winners. In many categories, picking each year’s winner is no easy task. We’ll be spotlighting 20 of those categories, in which the winner had hefty competition from other Houston bars and restaurants. Listen,…
5 Brilliant Classical Works With Obscenities for Names
Our day job is as a clerk in a sheet music store, and in general it is a pretty sweet gig. We like being around music students, teachers, and people who just want to play. It truly is an invigorating thing to see. Then again… there are things in the…
NBA Season Win Totals and My Rockets Prediction
Last add on my post from yesterday about Kris Kardashian Humphries re-signing with the Nets: For those of you who think I was a little too hard on Big Humph (and by my count, there were exactly none of you who felt that way), just know that according to results…
Kim Jong-il Dropping The Bass: In Memoriam
Maybe all along, the Dear Leader’s starvation and darkness deal with his oppressed people was just his way of keeping them slim and hot, for fun in the dark, because we all know only fun things happen in the dark right? Like that Lady Gaga song “Dance In The Dark”…
Five Ways to Protect Yourself from Being Victimized Using Social Media During the Holidays
Lots of people go out of town for the holidays to visit relatives or to get as far away from relatives as possible. Both are understandable, but in this era of modern social networking, it’s important to be careful about how you interact with Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare and others. One…
Southern Living‘s Paula Disbrowe on Houston as One of the South’s Tastiest Cities
Southern Living’s senior travel editor Paula Disbrowe knows Texas. The chef and food writer will be celebrating her 10th year of living in the Lone Star State this coming January, and was happy to report that a Texas city made it onto Southern Living’s recently released list of the Top…
Hand-made Korean Noodles and Kickin’ Kimchi
The thought of eating handmade noodles was too tantalizing to ignore. So within a week of hearing that they were a specialty at Korean Noodle House (1415 Murray Bay St., 713-463-8870), I made a special trip out to our Koreatown area on Long Point — about a 45-minute drive for…
Hunger Games Filmed in Appalachia, Music Recorded in Europe
For most musicians who aren’t playing in orchestras or as session musicians, a musicians’ union is about as useful a roadie who can’t lift anything over 20 pounds on doctor’s orders. But, for the thousands of musicians who do work in the film, television and recording studio industry, they rely…
AFM President Blasts Lionsgate for Outsourcing Hunger Games Music
For most musicians who aren’t playing in orchestras or as session musicians, a musicians’ union is about as useful as a roadie who can’t lift anything over 20 pounds on doctor’s orders. But, for the thousands of musicians who do work in the film, television and recording studio industry, they…
Comment of the Day: Stay Outside the Loop, Noise-Ordinance Lovers
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Adventures In Crab Rangoonery
Everybody has their favorite comfort foods. In times of stress, I turn to Chinese takeout for consolation, specifically crab rangoon. Actually, not only in times of stress. After several cocktails, crab rangoon always sounds awesome. I know I’m not the only one, because there’s a reason Hollywood is open until…
Spring Internships Still Available So When You Have a Minute Over the Holidays, Apply
The Houston Press is recruiting undergraduate journalism and communications students for its Spring 2012 internship program. By “student,” we do not mean “a student of life”; we mean “currently enrolled in college” student. There’s no cash offered with this gig, only college credits. Don’t bother applying if this doesn’t apply…
Last Night: Lyle Lovett At Verizon Wireless Theater
“We were thinking about what might come next,” Lyle Lovett said from the Verizon Wireless Stage Wednesday night, before playing a song he had written with Robert Earl Keen at Texas A&M. “We were thinking about venturing off into the great unknown and, in this case, that meant seeking gainful…
Tess Ferguson: Facebook “About Me” of a Channelview Meth User
FacebookTess “the Mess” Ferguson: Likes: Murder Suicide and “Gruge Fucks.” Dislikes: Sugar and spice and everything nice.According to court records, Harris County sheriff’s deputies arrested 26-year-old Tess Ferguson yesterday. This time, she has been charged with possession of meth — between four and 200 grams, a second-degree felony that could…
Sex and Spacemen: The Weirdest Christmas Songs We Could Find
Just the other day, Rocks Off sat at the computer, blank-faced and still, the cursor blinking uninterrupted. See, normally at this time of year, we come up with a list of depressing Christmas songs. This year, though, there was a problem. Last year’s songs were so intensely, crazily sad, we…
R.I.P.: A Toast to the Restaurants We’ll Miss Most
Houston lost quite a few restaurants this year, but we were lucky to have many more open in their place. Stay tuned for next week’s year-long wrap-up of every single opening and closing in town (it’s a doozy, folks) to compare the lists for yourself. Until then, though, these are…
American Horror Story: Endings Are Hard
We have a theory, and you’re going to need some pretty hard arguments to dissuade us. The entire purpose of the season finale of American Horror Story was simply to endure long enough so that viewers would see a variety of trailers for upcoming horror films. We counted five different…
Wanted: Spring 2012 Journalism Interns!
Calling all journalism students! The Houston Press is recruiting undergraduate journalism and communications students for its Spring 2012 internship program. By “student,” we do not mean “a student of life;” we mean “currently enrolled in college student.” There’s no cash offered with this gig, only college credits. Don’t bother applying…
Wanted: Spring 2012 Journalism Interns!
Calling all journalism students! The Houston Press is recruiting undergraduate journalism and communications students for its Spring 2012 internship program. By “student,” we do not mean “a student of life;” we mean “currently enrolled in college student.” There’s no cash offered with this gig, only college credits. Don’t bother applying…
Houston Press Internships: Get on the Stick
Time is running short, journalism students. The Houston Press is recruiting undergraduate journalism and communications students for its Spring 2012 internship program, and the deadline is fast approaching. By “student,” we do not mean “a student of life”; we mean “currently enrolled in college” student. There’s no cash offered with…
Classic Christmas: Ella Fitzgerald’s Ella Wishes You a Swinging Christmas
Over the holidays, we’re looking back at some classic Christmas albums taking some track by track and just digging on others. There is an admission that I have to make having written all these Classic Christmas posts this year. When I think of Christmas, I don’t think of carols or…
Totally Sketchy: Inky Improv Pens a Night of Fun
Last night, Art Attack stopped by the Spacetaker studio to watch some improvisational artists put pen to paper (or to computer). “Inky Improv,” which made its debut last year around this time, combined the forces of drawing team Sketchy Neighbors and flash fiction writers Nano Fiction. It was a bit…
Health Department Roundup
In the spirit of the season, we’re going to throw in more clean inspections than usual. In hard news, if it bleeds, it leads; and for the Health Department Roundup, if there’s slime, it gets covered in a way we wish would rhyme. But sometimes you just want to tell…
The X Factor: This Is Almost Over, Right?
This season of The X Factor is ending at the best possible time: tonight. XF fatigue is high here at recap central, and let’s face it–the competition has been whittled down to the three best contestants who showed up to audition: Josh Krajcik, Melanie Amaro and Chris Rene. And yes,…
Walking Through Facebook’s New Timeline Profile Layout
If there is one thing we have learned over the years about Facebook users, it’s that they do NOT like changes. Mess with the layout of their news feed and they will threaten to murder your entire family. But that doesn’t mean Facebookers don’t like to screw around with their…
Bummer, Dude: The 10 Big Musical Disappointments of 2011
All things considered, 2011 was a pretty bitchin’ year for popular music. It wasn’t all high-fives and Grammies for our musical heroes, however. More than few steaming flops, blown gigs and sour notes made the year’s highs seem all that much sweeter. Because our readers’ memories are easily dulled by…
DVDs & Blu-rays: The “Well, Damn!” Edition
Catch.44 stars Bruce Willis, Forest Whitaker and Malin Akerman; Aaron Harvey writes and directs. The Setup: Everybody shoots everybody. The end. Oh, okay, we’ll give you a little more. Three beautiful but seriously screwed-up women are on a “job” (translation, they’re going to rob some robbers). The women are wonderfully…
Brew Blog: Boulevard Nommo Dubbel
We here over at Brew Blog (just me, really) thought it might be nice to spread a little bit of holiday cheer this week. Sure, I could just review another winter-themed beer, but I thought our time would be better served with a little story about the Spirit of Christmas…
Ingredient of the Week: Cranberries
Last week, we gave you beets to help turn your pee a festive color for the holidays. This week, just in time for Christmas, we bring you another vermillion ingredient. Not to worry though; it won’t turn anything red (except maybe your shirt, should you lose control of your utensils…
Constantine Returns to Houston, This Time Channeling His Inner Geek
Only six months after appearing in Rock of Ages at the Hobby, Constantine Maroulis is back in Houston — this time at the Alley Theatre — to play the lead role of Melvin Ferd the Third in the musical The Toxic Avenger. “I play Melvin Ferd. He’s an earth scientist…
Lady Love: My Top 5 Girl Crushes of 2011
These ladies aren’t just easy on the eyes — they’re easy on the ears, too. They may not have much in common with each other, but what they do have in common is beauty, brains, talent and a new record in 2011. This year was a big one for women…
Secret Santas Covering BARC Adoption Fees for Long-Termers
Some anonymous Good Samaritans and a local business have stepped up to cover adoption fees for some long-term cats and dogs at Houston’s Bureau of Animal Regulation and Care. In a remarkable display of awesomeness, one secret Santa offered to foot the $10 fee for the 24 “Purrfurred” cats who’d…
Pop Rocks: Anyone Else Underwhelmed by The Hobbit Trailer?
The trailer for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey dropped like Boromir after taking a few Uruk-hai arrows yesterday. The first of Peter Jackson’s two-part adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s prequel to the Lord of the Rings trilogy doesn’t hit theaters until December, 2012, giving all us all ample time to pick…
Pop Rocks: The Hobbit Trailer — A Not So Unexpected Journey
The trailer for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey dropped like Boromir after taking a few Uruk-hai arrows yesterday. The first of Peter Jackson’s two-part adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s prequel to the Lord of the Rings trilogy doesn’t hit theaters until December 2012, giving us all ample time to pick the…
Santa’s Kicking Some Hitler Ass, Kids: Christmas Ads for WWII War Bonds
Nothing says “Christmas” like killing people. Boys and girls hoping for fire trucks or dolls in World War II sometimes had to settle for war bonds, if their parents acted like these ads told them to. “Yes, Bobby, you asked Santa for a Joe DiMaggio baseball bat, but Santa has…
The Embargo Act of 1807, And 5 Artists We’d Miss If It Was Still Here
We’re living in a globally connected world right now. Goods of all kinds are available from anywhere in the world in days, or in cases like music and films instantly. Our favorite expression lately is, “Living in the future is awesome,” and if anyone argues with you punch them in…
Something Store.com: Box of Crap, or Package of Win?
About three years ago, I came across the Something Store Web site. The idea is that you can order a “something” for $10. You don’t know what you’re getting. There’s something attractive about random stuff showing up in the mail. After all, most people love a surprise (as long as…
Twitter and Tales from Everyone’s Childhood on Top Chef: Texas
I left a dinner tonight at Roost earlier than I would have liked — I really need to stop making dinner plans on Wednesday night, but my job more or less necessitates that I eat out every night — and will circle back around to this fact shortly. Needless to…
Five Reasons It Sucks to Be Born Around Christmas
Birthdays are huge, huge deals to kids: They are the Star of the Day, they get lots of loot while other birthday-less kids can only look on in jealous despair. Unless, of course, your birthday happens to fall right around Christmas. I have some personal experience with this, and let’s…
Houston Grand Opera’s Story Book Opera
It’s never too early for kids to discover opera, especially when the introduction is being made by a darling cat named Alma. In the Houston Grand Opera’s Story Book Opera, Opera Cat, Alma’s owner is the great Madame Soso, the reigning diva of Italian opera. Alma loves singing as much…
Love, Actually
We’re going to admit it right up front: Love, Actually is a chick flick. That shouldn’t be too big a surprise since the film is being screened as part of Girlie Night at the Alamo Drafthouse/West Oaks. The large ensemble cast features several leading men: Hugh Grant, Bill Nighy, Liam…
Cinderella
The Ensemble Theatre’s lively, rollicking production of Cinderella sheds the gossamer fragility of the fairy tale in exchange for broad humor. This interpretation was developed by San Francisco’s African-American Shakespeare Company; while the basic legend remains intact — yes, the slipper is there — this non-Disney interpretation has vitality, strength…
Seasons of Sharing: Christmas
You still have one more chance to get your kids to the Seasons of Sharing: Christmas; the exhibition closes today. Children can stop by the EcoStation to build a nature wreath from organic elements or pick up a pair of binoculars and help with the annual Christmas Bird Count. Over…
Victoria Laurie: Ghoul Interrupted
Get your fortune told and a book signed by Victoria Laurie at the launch party for her new novel Ghoul Interrupted. A real-life psychic, Laurie includes intuitive readings for members of the crowd during her appearances. In fact, she counts on her intuitive powers and experiences to create her characters…
New Year’s Eve at Bar Munich
Usher in 2012 with Bar Munich, which will have DJ KnightTrax spinning tunes, a midnight countdown and a champagne toast. There will be no cover. All guests are invited to wear whatever they want, but encouraged to dig out the ugliest sweater in their closet and compete in the Bar’s…
Boy Reporter, Back for New Adventures
Steven Spielberg’s motion-captured, 3-D The Adventures of Tintin rolls together plot elements from three comic-book adventures starring Belgian artist Hergé’s intrepid boy reporter, Tintin, first introduced in 1929 and one of the all-time most iconographic characters in comic art. After stumbling across a mysterious clue in a model ship, Tintin…
Lil’ Flip
Nobody properly appreciates Lil’ Flip. If asked, everyone reflexively points to 2005 as the year that Houston rap fully became actualized nationally. And really, that’s because it’s correct. That’s the year that Slim Thug, Chamillionaire, Mike Jones and Paul Wall became everyday names on MTV and BET. But before they…
Animal House
When I told someone I was off to a screening of We Bought a Zoo the other day, the response was an eye roll. The reaction’s understandable: Save for two music docs — an Elton John-Leon Russell album making-of and that Pearl Jam anniversary infomercial — Cameron Crowe has been…
Notsuoh Wins Injury Suit
COURTS Notsuoh Wins Injury Suit Jury rejects $12 million claim By John Nova Lomax The $12,000,000 and 47 cent personal injury lawsuit against Jim Pirtle, Melissa Bosch and their Notsuoh bar is over, and the bar owners won’t have to pay a dime. After several days of testimony, jurors found…
Special Christmas Gift Edition
Dear Readers: In between your fifteenth tamale and sixth spiked cup of ponche, you’re going to have to buy regalos for Christmas or whatever pinche holiday you celebrate. Okay, you don’t have to, but you should, to support all those great indie businesses suffering during this Great Recession. Behold, then,…
Ta-ta, 2011
The New Year is coming around the corner once again, and according to the timekeepers of an ancient civilization, this one will surely be our last. So, in light of your imminent demise, why not give 2011 a proper send-off with some food, a little music, and a glass or…
Capsule Art Reviews: “Ballast/Break,” “A Brave New World,” “International Discoveries III,” “New Formations: Czech Avant-Garde Art and Modern Glass from the Roy and Mary Cullen Collection,” “Soundforge,” “Toni LaSelle: Climate of the Heart: Paintings fr
“Ballast/Break” I’m not so jazzed about the 2D works in Alexis Granwell and Carrie Scanga’s “Ballast/Break” in Lawndale Art Center’s project space, but there is some pretty nice 3D stuff going on. There’s nothing wrong with Granwell’s large drypoint and monotype prints, images that look like architectural sketches for yurts…
Z-Ro, Trae the Truth
Somehow, despite being two of Houston’s most beloved rap persons, and despite having been in a group that created one of the city’s great albums (It Is What It Is, 2008), and despite having existed within reasonable driving distance of one another for the majority of their lives, and despite…
Finger Licking Good
Check out the colorful kitchen and interior of Finger Licking Bukateria, housed in a charming old Bennigan’s. I laughed at my own inelegance as I sucked the last of the fufu from my fingers at the aptly named Finger Licking Bukateria one Sunday afternoon, the dough clinging stubbornly to the…
The Handsomes
For nine straight years the Handsomes have hosted their traditional, attendance record-shattering Christmas party, and they’ll do it again this year at the Continental Club with their brand of ska/reggae/funk/…you know what? That’s enough slashing. Suffice to say that when they start playing, we’ve never seen a single soul sitting…
Better Off
New Orleans rock-trio Better Than Ezra is one of the few ’90s alt-rock bands that have stuck around, through music industry ups and downs, coming out the other end as a group of independent artists in charge of their own career path. Because of a lucky deal they signed with…
Robert Earl Keen
Okay, so Robert Earl Keen doesn’t make the kinds of records that fly off the shelves like he used to. Maybe that’s an unreal expectation for a guy who broke onto the scene with such brilliance and sly Texan flair. He had a 13-year period there when he could do…
Mistaken Identities
When Jagdeep Singh was in elementary school, another fourth-grade student attacked him on the school bus. “This guy was trying to stab me with a pencil because of my identity,” he says. Jagdeep never rode one more day on the bus. What he refers to as his “identity” — the…
Band of Heathens
The road-dogging, Austin-based Band of Heathens combines twangy, sandpaper vocals with hard-bought harmonies. The core trio in BOH — Colin Brooks, Ed Jurdi and Gordy Quist — began to coalesce about a decade ago around the singer-songwriter scene at Momo’s in Austin, which explains the varied sounds in the group…
Capsule Stage Reviews: The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, A Christmas Story — A Ghost Story of Christmas, Fruitcakes, The Nutcracker, The Santaland Diaries
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever A substitute pageant director has (gasp!) to cast six unruly children to tell the story of The Manger. The Herdsman family is financially challenged, and its six children are boisterous and rebellious and a great deal of fun, even if they have never read the…
The Film Issue
It’s been a big year in film, not that we’d ever expect our critics to agree on the best movies of 2011. Which is why for our year-end film issue, we’re including two top 10 film lists — from Pete Vonder Haar and Karina Longworth. But that’s not nearly all:…
Owner’s Manual
Near 9 p.m. Monday. “Ay, you want something to chase it with? We’re drinking it straight.” E.S.G., possibly the most unassuming, underappreciated regional legend ever to have existed, is standing in front of the Go Hustler Smoke Shop, a strip center business located in the rumble of Third Ward. There…
The City of Z
Eric LeDay knows precisely what he is doing. Standing outside of Zanzibar (9003 Westheimer), he explains how he’s been able to keep a poetry night in a nightlife venue alive for more than 15 months now. “I tell all of the performers ahead of time, ‘You have to be intriguing…
New Girl in Town
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is hardly a personal project. Still, David Fincher’s sveltely malevolent remake of the 2009 Swedish blockbuster directed by Niels Arden Oplev from Stieg Larsson’s rambling thriller, a posthumously published international bestseller and Kindle record-holder, is a recognizably Fincherian caper. The movie, which opens with…
What Do Men Want
A Dangerous Method, the title of David Cronenberg’s viscerally cerebral new film, is something of an understatement. As cataclysmic as it is, this historically scrupulous science-fiction romance concerning the discovery of the unconscious mind might have been titled War of the Worlds or The Beast From 5000 Fathoms. Adapted by…
Taming Creatures
A doggedly overwrought production less felt than facile, Steven Spielberg’s War Horse is an essentially uninvolving prestige adaptation. It might be perverse to accuse a tearjerker as accomplished as Spielberg of being unfeeling. But the overcalculation with which he mechanically trots out one of his most familiar tropes for what…
The Silence of the Hams
An undeniably charming homage to Hollywood in the late 1920s, The Artist will probably be the most successful silent movie since the days of the Gish sisters. It might also be the first silent film many of its viewers have ever seen. French writer-director Michel Hazanavicius, who has previously struck…
