Re: We Truly Do Live in a Spaced City
Ladies Home Journal has posted an interview from last September with Lisa Marie Nowak, the astronaut whose bizarre love triangle has given NASA more attention than when it faked the moon landing. Here are a couple of context-free quotes, augmented by one we just made up on the spot. We’ll…
Urban Discontent
I grew up in the suburbs, but these days I’m all about the Inner Loop. I just love the urban feel. You might as well call me Keith “Urban” Plocek, although that’s kind of cumbersome, so let’s just go with Keith Urban. (Either that, or Keith Sweat, but that’s a…
The Mercenary Position
Oh, dang. Looks like METRO’s blogger is a little fed up with all the attacks she’s been getting in the local blogosphere. We got nothing against the woman, although it seems we gave her critics some serious ammunition when we posted her salary information a few weeks back. Just think…
You’re Hired!!
How can you tell if you’re a college football fanatic? If you’ve been anxiously waiting for tomorrow, February 7, for a long time. The rest of you are wondering to yourselves: February 7? Why are college-football fanatics going nuts over the anniversary of Emile Zola’s “J’Accuse!” trial? As it turns…
You’re Hired!!
How can you tell if you’re a college football fanatic? If you’ve been anxiously waiting for tomorrow, February 7, for a long time. The rest of you are wondering to yourselves: February 7? Why are college-football fanatics going nuts over the anniversary of Emile Zola’s “J’Accuse!” trial? As it turns…
Show Us What You Got
This weekend, HouStoned Rocks will be filming live at the Houston Press stage for Mardi Gras Galveston. Be sure to come out — we’ll make you famous. Here’s the lineup: Friday, February 9, Saengerfest Park 7 p.m. Million Year Dance 8 p.m. Truck 9 p.m. Snit’s Dog and Pony Show…
Who You Calling Trash?
We were watching the news last night when local news superstar Shern-Min Chow filed a report on a federal court ruling that ups restrictions on sexually oriented businesses. We’ll have more on that later, but at the moment we’ve got a beef with the wording of Chow’s dispatch. As the…
We Truly Do Live in a Spaced City
Lisa Marie Nowak Does anything say “story of the year” quite like an astronaut love triangle? This is HouStoned. We’re standing live outside Johnson Space Center, more than 900 miles from Orlando, where NASA astronaut Lisa Marie Nowak was charged with attempted kidnapping, attempted vehicular burglary, destruction of evidence and…
Bet You Didn’t Know They Have Toilets on Those Things
Genesis Photographers The Krewe of Gambrinus You probably remember last year’s Mardi Gras in Galveston as a carefree night of colorful floats and drunken revelry — that is, if you remember it at all. Ever stop and think about how much work goes into organizing one of these parades? “I…
May Cause Discomfort
According to a group of researchers at UCLA, last night’s Super Bowl ads might’ve missed the mark. Reuters has the story: Super Bowl ads, which cost $85,000 per second during this year’s game, fumbled overall as they failed to connect with viewers or just scared them, according to researchers who…
May Cause Discomfort
According to a group of researchers at UCLA, last night’s Super Bowl ads might’ve missed the mark. Reuters has the story: Super Bowl ads, which cost $85,000 per second during this year’s game, fumbled overall as they failed to connect with viewers or just scared them, according to researchers who…
Mayor McCheese Could Not Be Reached for Comment
An artist’s sketch of the victim. A Ronald McDonald statue was stolen yesterday from a Mickey D’s in Baytown. KHOU broke the story, but HouStoned has an update, in the form of a transcript of what the thieves said right before perpetrating the larceny. Here it is, in its entirety…
Great Head
You gotta love this headline, currently up on the Chron’s site: “French exhibit lures Houston art lovers to MFAH.” See, the Chron has to make sure you know the current exhibition at the Museum of Fine Arts is luring art lovers, rather than dog, cat, baseball or football lovers, since…
The Next Big Thing
So we’re not sure exactly how we feel about this YouTube offering, filmed right here in Houston. From what we can tell, a couple of dudes gave a homeless guy two bucks and had him dance around in a Wendy’s parking lot. Exploitative? You bet. But the thing is, the…
No, Thanks. We’ll Take Cancer.
Buried at the end of last week was the news that Rick Perry signed an order to require all schoolgirls to be vaccinated against the human papillomavirus, aka HPV, aka the cause of genital warts, aka a leading cause of cervical cancer in women. We would make fun of Perry,…
Playbill: Bob Wayne
Liza Orozco Someone answered the phone on the second ring. Then dropped the phone. Scrounging sounds. The voice that came from the other end sounded like a very hoarse alien. “Hello?” “Bob?” “Who’s this?” “William Smith from Houston Press.” “Oh, man, can you call back in a few hours?” Click…
Playbill: Two High String Band
Bill Ellison Pristine, clear, Rocky Mountain high air surrounds much of what the Austin trio Two High String Band throws down as bluegrass. For the most part this banjo-less ensemble that calls Houston’s Blue Corn label home tends toward tunes with a dawdling, we’re-stoned melodic pace; the late-night lament “Bunkhouse…
Single White Shoe
Click here to befriend Single White Shoe. This is our time to dance. — Kevin Bacon, Footloose It was a rough week for HouStoned. We thought we’d found our true love, our sole mate, as it were, bundled up in the gift of one little running shoe. But, alas, our…
Bad Advice
Imagine you are a tourist here in town. You have a room at one of the seeming dozens of swanky new downtown hotels. You’ve been to the zoo and the museums and now you want to see what Houston’s all about after dark, so you head over to the downtown…
Up Close and Personal
The horror! The Chron has a story today about the problems that arise for on-air personalities when broadcasting in high-definition television, a condition commonly known as Now People Are Going to Realize I’m Old. There’s a choice quote in there from KHOU anchor-narcissist Greg Hurst: “I have joked that when…
For Your Listening Pleasure
Over at HoustonSoReal, Matt Sonzala has posted a track from Big Hawk’s upcoming release. Hawk was gunned down last May, but before the shooting — still unsolved — he’d put together an album (eerily) titled Endangered Species. The disc drops this summer. Click here to download “Cold in the Game,”…
Let’s Do This
We asked, you answered, and the lineup is now set for the Houston Press stage at Mardi Gras Galveston. Friday, February 9, Saengerfest Park 7 p.m. Million Year Dance 8 p.m. Truck 9 p.m. Snit’s Dog and Pony Show 10 p.m. Fondue Monks Saturday, February 10, Saengerfest Park 3 p.m…
Why, Cruel World, Why?
Who knew those words would eventually cause such heartache? Our attempt to track down our sole mate has ended in tragedy. This morning we learned our Dearest KHOU Woman doesn’t even work at the station anymore. We’d hoped there was potential for a real connection there, but, alas, it was…
Truth in Advertising
There’s something crooked going on here. Ford really is the best in Texas — when it comes to getting jacked, at least. Ford pickups topped the Texas Department of Public Safety’s list of stolen vehicles for 2006, followed by Chevy (drivin’ Texas!) and Dodge (born on the Llano Estacado!). Apparently…
No Choice
If only… I thought the premise of Choose Your Own Play was genius, but it turned out I would’ve rather chose a different play. I wrote a preview for the event in last week’s issue and interviewed creators Greg Hundemer and Tim Wood. They told me the 400-page script consisted…
Up Next: Crack Pipe Coffee
While we’re pimping marijuana-themed products, we might as well let you know about Bong Spirit Vodka, which recently became available in the Houston area. Word on the street — and by “street,” we mean a press release — says “this designer drink is six times distilled from grain and has…
Playbill: John Egan
Unless you follow the local music scene closely, John Egan probably just seems like another obscure local talent who would move elsewhere if he had good sense. If Egan lived in Atlanta or LA or DC, he’d be in high demand. Here in Restaurantville, where dining out has far more…
Watch and Learn
We’ve already gotten one request from a reader for more details on where Barry Cooper’s Never Get Busted Again can be purchased, so here’s the link. For some sweet footage of Cooper’s cop ‘stache, check out this trailer. And here’s a preview of the actual video…
The Kids Are Not Alright
PARK CITY, Utah — We all know about the cathartic power of blues music, but until the 2007 Sundance Film Festival, who knew that it could serve as a cure-all for everything from nymphomania to childhood sexual abuse? In Hustle & Flow director Craig Brewer’s Black Snake Moan, whose out-of-competition…
Two Faces of Mak Chin’s
At Mak Chin’s, on Shepherd near I-10, there’s a hipster bar and a fast-casual Asian bistro in two adjoining rooms. “It seems like two different restaurants,” one friend observed. I wasn’t quite sure what she meant. The first time I tried Mak Chin’s food, I never set foot in the…
Dissent for Sale
PARK CITY, Utah — Even by the lacerating standards of recent Sundance docs Why We Fight and Iraq in Fragments, the nonfiction at this year’s fest felt, well, real — alarmingly so. Indeed, after doing battle with films about U.S. policies on Iraq, Darfur, and global warming, this critic was…
Pass the Salt
What’s your fave ingredient right now? Salt, because it rocks, get it: rock salt, salt rocks. Yes, it can be overused, but the majority of the time it is underused and the food is just flat. Seasoning a dish properly is the number one factor I look for when hiring…
The Sundance Kids
One morning, Gary Walkow was suddenly transformed into a successful Hollywood filmmaker. Gone were the hat-in-hand searches for financing, the deferred salaries, the long shooting days with undermanned crews and the months upon years spent touring the festival circuit while seeking a distribution deal. For a moment, he was taking…
From Mexico City with Love
The menu at Tortas Las Llardas (6001 Hillcroft, 713-272-7008) proudly proclaims in Spanish: “Now Houston can try the authentic and famous sandwiches from Las Llardas, direct from Mexico City.” Here is a place dedicated to one thing — the torta. And the best of the bunch is la capitalina ($5),…
On the Inside
The music business is doomed,” says Eddie Deville — strong words from a man who makes his living as a DJ. But that’s exactly what Deville told producer Michael Menendez during a recent sit-down between the two arranged by the Houston Press. A producer and a DJ, both music industry…
The Music Men
PARK CITY, Utah — On the first Saturday of the 2007 Sundance Film Festival, I rolled out of bed and hustled up Main Street for the 8:30 screening of Tamara Jenkins’s The Savages, starring Philip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney as adult siblings caring for an irascible elderly parent. Only…
How to Hide Your Weed
He looks like a good cop. He’s got the ‘stache, the short-cropped hair, the pushed-out chest and the shiny badge. He sounds like a good cop too; drawled and official. He’s got a TV reporter’s microphone in his face and a brick of marijuana in his hand, and he’s answering…
The Best Thing on TV
There’s been a lot of really good stuff on TV lately: 24, 30 Rock, Big Day, Rome, the new cruelty-enhanced season of American Idol. People are finally fighting on Heroes. This season’s Real World cast is pretty much completely insane. Lost is coming back soon. I like all those shows,…
Room with a View
Many themes swirl through David Hare’s 1997 drama Amy’s View, which is running in a robust, fully satisfying production at Stages Repertory Theatre. At the fore are themes of family relationships, especially those between mother and daughter, and the contemporary relevance of theater and art, especially when butted against pop…
Cred Sheet
Illegal Mix Tapes DJ Swindle and Frank Lyon’s Almatic, an occasionally splendid commingling of Nas and Al Green. Enjoy your moment in the sun now, boys, before the cops hunt you down like dogs. Feckless Fecundity Let’s knock it off with all the fucking Boris side projects already. Take some…
Capsule Reviews
La Cenerentola The lightning of inspiration that struck Gioacchino Rossini for his greatest works (Barber of Seville, Italian Girl in Algiers, Tancredi, William Tell, Stabat Mater) missed the prolific composer when he dashed off his version of the fairy tale “Cinderella” in 1817. This “dramatic comedy,” replete with his patented…
Shock and Rawrb
Their song titles include such works of art as “Scrotal Torment,” “I HATE Doing Laundry” and “The Jgermeister Love Song.” But it’s their touching ode to the mixture of barley and hops — “Beer!” — that’s gotten them the most play, especially on XM satellite radio (“When it’s warm it…
Color Me Nostalgic
I remember watching The Lawrence Welk Show as a kid, not because I wanted to, but because my polka-loving Grandpa Ulfert made me. What struck me more than the show’s hokey tunes and skits were its colors. Sure, it was the ’70s, but the color schemes of the show’s sets…
The Earlies
The fact that the Earlies made a second album is pretty remarkable; having band members scattered on both sides of the Atlantic must make songwriting rather difficult, yet they make it look easy. As in, bands that do get to practice and do get to write in the same room…
Capsule Reviews
“Brooke Stroud: New Drawings” and “Michael Petry: In the Garden of Eden” There are two new exhibitions at Devin Borden Hiram Butler Gallery — one is subtle, the other subtly subversive. Brooke Stroud’s colored pencil drawings on gray cardboard have an Agnes Martin vibe to them. The cardboard looks like…
The Postmarks
The Postmarks make music that is part Burt Bacharach, part Beach Boys and part folk rock. That’s an odd blend in 2007, but this emo-pop trio knows how to bring it together. They’re charting in the U.S. and Canada and recently signed a deal with New York-based indie label Unfiltered…
Cold Hearted
Publisher: Capcom
Platform: Xbox 360
Price: $59.99
ESRB Rating: T (for Teen)
Score: 9 (out of 10)
Shawn Colvin
It’s hard to resist comparing Shawn Colvin’s These Four Walls to Darden Smith’s brilliant Field of Crows. Both albums are filled with Texas attitude but recorded in the unlikely confines of New York City. They are similar in vision and poetic clarity, piercing the same deep emotional ground. And both…
The Terrorist’s Mind
Catch a Fire (Focus) In his commentary for the underrated, undervalued Catch a Fire, director Phillip Noyce discusses the inspiration: witnessing the terror attacks on the World Trade Center in 2001. He wanted to comprehend “the terrorist’s mind,” so he found a story that accomplishes such a difficult thing: the…
Six Parts Seven
Instrumental rock has long been the genre’s redheaded stepchild. Radio ignores it, and many people start squirming in their seats if a singer doesn’t start whining and growling into their ears. And you know what? Six Parts Seven doesn’t give a damn about your need for lyrics and vocalization. These…
Our top DVD picks for the week of February 1
Academy Awards Collection (MGM) The Comedians of Comedy (Anchor Bay) Dallas: The Complete Sixth Season (Warner Bros.) The Doctor, the Tornado & the Kentucky Kid: Ultimate Collector’s Edition (New Video Group) Dora the Explorer: Cowgirl Dora (Paramount) The Fabulous Baker Boys (MGM) Facing the Giants (Sony) The Festival: The Complete…
The Small Stars
>The Small Stars’ roster includes “Guy Fantasy,” “Buddy Llamas” and “Richard Steele” (think about it), the alter egos of Fastball’s Miles Zuniga, Jeff Groves and friends, who all remain in costumed character on stage. Surprisingly, their second record, Tijuana Dreams, brings not jokey lounge-lizard shtick but great pop-rock with dashes…
The pAper chAse
Harnessed by an avenging, sinister and violent tone, the masterful Dallas quartet The pAper chAse are as meticulous with their sound as a serial killer would be with the evidence at a bloody crime scene. Yet despite all the weird evilness heard through the sharp, affecting lyrics of lead man…
Driven Crazy
What a wreck: It brightened my day to know that someone else has had problems with the court system [“Car Trouble,” by Vicki Holder, January 18]. My runaround wasn’t as bad as yours, but it’s still very frustrating. My judge told me that I made a stupid mistake in telling…
The H-Town Blues Festival
Whether you like your blues wrapped in velvet or in something more X-rated, there’s something for everyone at the H-Town Blues Festival. Many of the gifted artists may not be household names outside the blues community, but they should be. Perhaps best known is Bobby “Blue” Bland, whose numerous sides…
Nobody Gets Out of Here Alive
Nobody in Houston was ever worth a shit,” writes Houston-bred honky-tonk legend Johnny Bush in his forthcoming autobiography Whiskey River (Take My Mind). “To my way of thinking, with my young skull full of mush, Hank Williams was great because he was from Montgomery, Alabama. That’s why he made it…
Date My Mom
Though I’m sure it’s purely coincidental, the decision to release the Diane Keaton-Mandy Moore rom-com Because I Said So with the scent of this year’s Sundance Film Festival still fresh in the air provides us with an excellent opportunity to review the wayward career of the movie’s director, Michael Lehmann…
Filipinos Latinos or Chinos?
Dear Mexican, How do Mexicans get such ridiculous nicknames from seemingly normal names? For instance, Jos becomes Chepe, Eduardo is Lalo, Gabriel becomes Gabi and Guillermo devolves into Memo. It’s Marcela, Not Chela Dear Wabette, The definitive study on this quirk remains Viola Waterhouse’s “Mexican Spanish Nicknames,” included in the…
Sympathy for the Devil
PARK CITY, Utah — Ten days of terse texting among professional narcissists working on little or no sleep in one of the last cold spots left on Al Gore’s inconvenient Earth: Welcome to Sundance ’07, where wounding homefront melodrama Grace Is Gone sells and it hardly pays to be nice…
The Fitz Mix
It doesn’t matter if you’re into punk, metal, blues, rock, hip-hop, country or Scandinavian death polka, if you like music and you live in Houston, at some point or another, you’re going to go to Fitzgerald’s (2706 White Oak, 713-862-3838). It’s a genuine rite of passage for any Houston band…