TCU Football Players Are in a Drug Ring — “Big Time” Football Hits Fort Worth
In January 2010, TCU finally made it to a BCS bowl game when they played the Boise State Broncos. The Horned Frogs lost that game 17-10, so any feeling that they hit the “big time” had to be somewhat muted. So the next season, not only did the Horned Frogs…
Thank God, Ted Cruz Will Protect Texas from the U.N.
This ad for GOP primary senatorial candidate Ted Cruz has been showing up on conservative Web sites. It alerts — thankfully, finally — all Texans to the growing threat that the U.N. will….invade? Take over in a bloodless coup? We don’t know. All we know is that the U.N. is…
And Lo, From The Heavens Emerged Grievous Angels
Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group “Artist of the Week,” bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn’t awful? Email their particulars to sheaserrano@gmail.com. These angels who are grievous are Libby Koch,…
Burger Bracket 2012: Call for Judges
It doesn’t seem possible that nearly an entire year has passed since our inaugural Burger Bracket competition, in which we set out to determine the city’s best burger in a March Madness-style breakdown that pitted four finalists (out of the original Sweet 16) against one another at Lucky’s Pub: Petrol…
Ed Emmett Says Harris Is “a County of Substance” with Some, Umm, Ethical Problems
Harris County Judge Ed Emmett gave his State of the County speech today and, as expected, he announced things were going pretty good. He said the state of Harris County is “far better than most governmental entities” and that it remains a “County of Substance,” in case you were wondering…
Top 5 Musical NBA Players
The NBA All-Star Game is coming up in a couple of weeks. There may not be any Rockets on the roster – even ex-Rocket/Knicks sensation Jeremy Lin didn’t blow up in time to be added as a reserve – but musical names such as Kanye West, Rihanna (the halftime entertainment),…
Calling All Amateur Chefs! Compete in the Houston Beer Experiment on March 4
Do your friends rave about your cooking? Are you convinced you have an award-winning dish in your arsenal of recipes? Do people–other than your mom–constantly tell you to become a professional chef? Here is your chance to prove you’ve got what it takes. Enter to compete in the Houston Beer…
Iron Maiden Returning To Houston August 18
Up the Irons, y’all: Iron Maiden is returning to Houston on August 18, at the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion. This will be the iconic metal group’s first appearance here since their June 2010 date, also in the Woodlands. This leg of the tour, Maiden will have Coheed & Cambria on…
Reality Bites: Full Metal Jousting
There are a million reality shows on the naked television. We’re going to watch them all, one at a time. The premise is familiar: take 16 people, divide them into two teams and pit them against each other in a series of contests leading to a lone winner. It could…
Vida Tex-Mex: Sexy or Not, It’s Just Plain Bad
“As much as I loved Felix for its historical significance, it was hard to explain the food,” wrote former Houston Press food critic Robb Walsh back in 2008. “I once compared eating there to ‘listening to scratchy recordings of the Delta blues’ to understand our roots.” In that cover story,…
Cover Story: Soldiers Say KBR Exposed Them to Dangerous Chemical
Did KBR allow soldiers to be exposed to a carcinogenic chemical in 2003?In 2003, just weeks after the U.S. declared war on Iraq, workers for Houston-based KBR were busy trying to restore the invaded nation’s oil industry. Under a contract with the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, part of KBR’s…
If Axl And Slash Can (Maybe) Get Along, There Is Hope For Us All
When it was announced that Guns N’ Roses were to be inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame back in December, a kind of hush went all over the world as everyone pondered whether or not lead singer Axl Rose and former lead guitarist Slash would share a…
Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week 2012: Styles and Trends
Check out our slideshow from the runways of NYFW. Metallics. Military cool. Earth tones. Color blocking. Schoolgirl prep. Fur. New York’s Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week has arrived, and has proven to be a burst of opposing styles and edgy new looks. This season contains splashes of bold colors mixed in with…
Katsuya Debuts with Bites and Cocktails for Tootsies Fashion Show
The theme was Valentine’s Day, the title “Love’s in Fashion,” and the benefit was for the Art Car Parade. On Monday, 18 celebrity Houston couples, including the restaurant world’s Robert del Grande and his wife Mimi of RDG/Bar Annie, took to the runway in vibrant reds and Valentine-themed fashions from…
Glenn Weiss, After Three Months, Quits as Art League’s Executive Director
Glenn Weiss, who Art Attack interviewed during his first day on the job, has resigned as Art League Houston’s executive director. Weiss had replaced former executive director Vanessa Perez McCalla following an extensive search. To date, Art League hadn’t sent out a press release announcing the change. On February 7,…
Wine Time: Sparkling Wines for Cocktails
Back at the end of 2011, when we were writing a lot about Champagne and other sparkling wines for the holidays, reader John wrote us asking for advice on what sparkling wines to use for sparkling wine cocktails. “Since spirits and lemon juice and bitters mess with the subtleties of…
HPD Cop Jose Coronado Gets 30-Day Suspension over Deadly Sherlock’s Pub Shooting
Gets 30-day suspension for parking-lot shooting.A Houston cop who shot to death a patron while off-duty at a River Oaks bar has been suspended for 30 days after an Internal Affairs investigation, HPD says. HPD spokesperson Jodi Silva tells Hair Balls that Jose Coronado is currently serving the suspension, which…
Oscar Season 2013: It’s Never Too Early, Right?
What? Too soon? It’s better to be early than late right? Why can’t we handicap next year’s Oscar contenders for 2013 a full year before the nominations go out and two weeks before this year’s Oscars are handed out? Hell, this website Never Too Early Movie Predictions beat this blog…
Last Night: The Polyphonic Spree at Fitzgerald’s
The Polyphonic Spree Fitzgerald’s February 14, 2012 Some of rock’s most intriguing acts have risen from the ashes of their former bands. Such is the case with Dallas-based multi-member psych-pop band The Polyphonic Spree; front man Tim DeLaughter formerly fronted ’90s alt-rock group Tripping Daisy. Admittedly, I attended Polyphonic Spree’s…
Shanna Widner: Daughter of “The Pom-Pom Mom” Speaks (VIDEO)
The woman who was, for a while, the most celebrated eighth-grade cheerleader wanna-be is finally speaking out. Shanna Widner, now 34 (!), was the kid who caused “Pom-Pom Mom” Wanda Holloway to hire a hitman (one of the five top Texas cheerleader scandals ever) in order to improve her chances…
Finite Lives: Deaths During Gaming Continue to Occur
You don’t tend to think that video gaming is a particularly hazardous hobby. After all, what’s safer than sitting in a chair letting Batman do all the dangerous work for you? As it turns out, though, death can lurk as nearby for you as it does for your computer-generated counterpart…
Brew Blog: Dogfish Head Squall IPA
I’ve trained my eight-year-old daughter to pick out beer for me. I’ll pause a moment to allow you to gasp, if you want to. . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . …
Beach Boys Reunion Tour Hits Woodlands June 8
Dave Matthews Band opens new tour at Pavilion May 18 The Beach Boys, one of the most popular and celebrated bands to come out of America in the past century, announced a reunion tour this week, with Houston getting a set from Brian Wilson and the gang Friday, June 8…
The Emancipation Proclamation Stops Off at HMNS
You’ll have just six days to see one of the most important documents in American history when the Emancipation Proclamation goes on display at the Houston Museum of Natural Science. Signed by President Abraham Lincoln, the document stated that “all persons held as slaves” within the rebellious states “are, and…
Fast Times: Murphy’s Deli California Panini
When I stopped into Murphy’s Deli and ordered the California Panini, the woman taking my order looked incredulous. “There’s no meat on that, you know! It’s only vegetables!” she said to me with a scrunched-up face. I assured her I was aware of the contents, and that I would take…
Dick Wagner: Welcome (Back) To Alice Cooper Guitarist’s Nightmare
Not Only Women Bleed: Vignettes from the Heart of a Rock Musician By Dick Wagner Desert Dreams Productions, LLC/Amazon.com, $9.99 While the name Dick Wagner may not be recognizable to the casual classic rock fan, deep trackers might know the singer/guitarist from his work fronting two popular Michigan-based acts in…
Comment of the Day: One Man’s Sexual Fantasy
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Astros Broadcaster Milo Hamilton to Retire, Finally
So long, Milo.Milo Hamilton’s announcing his retirement today. It’s a day I never thought would come, and the only thing I’m upset about is that he’ll still do the games this season. I’ve never understood his appeal to listeners. Then again, I grew up with Gene Elston as the voice…
10 Evil Songs Now Warping Our Toddler’s Mind
When you have a kid, certain things are slow to change. For instance, in general you don’t immediately throw away your death-metal albums and restock with Barney, because why would you? They don’t know what they’re listening to dozing in the car seat anyway . So you just go on…
Top 4 Most Devastating Wrestling Moves (Invented by Japanese Women)
Art Attack spent a little time in the squared circle as a luchador, trained by the amazing Javio Flores Sr., and we’re here to tell you that wrestling is freakin’ hard. It hurts, a lot, and you spend months or years building up a tolerance for the holds, plexes, bombs…
So Texan Fans, Would You Take Randy Moss? (w/ serious highlight VIDEO)
“Now back to biz!! There’s good an bad an u have to b ready for both!! its in gods hand now.” — Randy Moss on Twitter, 2/13/12 And just like that, future Hall of Fame wide receiver Randy Moss announced his desire to return to the National Football League the…
Five Movies That Kept Classic Songs Partying On
You might be surprised to learn that in 1992 the No. 1 movie in theaters on Valentine’s Day was not a romantic comedy. Twenty years ago this week, a film about a pair of rock-obsessed, public-access TV hosts from Aurora, Illinois was released, and would go on to make $121…
100 Creatives 2012: Kiki Lucas
Kiki Lucas seems rather young to have accomplished what she has. After earning her B.A. in Dance from Point Park University in Pittsburgh, she moved to Los Angeles, where she pursued her career in dance before finally coming to Houston in 2005. Now she helps run the Houston Metropolitan Dance…
Sampler Plate: This Week in Food Blogs
Robb Walsh: In case you hadn’t heard… Texas oyster season is now open! Look for Texas appellation oysters this year, especially from purveyors like Louisiana Foods and at the Saturday by-catch market from PJ Stoops. Blog of an Aspiring Foodie: After a long absence, Chris is back with a fierce…
SI Swimsuit Issues: The Least-Read Articles Inside Them, Through the Years
Sports Illustrated is out with its latest swimsuit issue, much to the dismay of people who prefer to hear sports-talk radio hosts talk sports. The issue, in these porn0filled days, is not the major event it used to be, of course. Back in the day, its arrival in mailboxes was…
Wheatley High Forfeits Five Basketball Games Because of Ineligible Players
Well, this is embarrassing: Just one day after the Attorney General of the United States visited its campus and gave an uplifting speech on doing what’s right, Wheatley High has been forced to forfeit five basketball games because of ineligible players. The announcement from HISD said the school — which…
How Single People Spend Valentine’s Night, in Chart Form
Just because our significant others may or may not have dumped us back in December — hypothetically speaking — is no reason we can’t all participate in the fun and joy of Valentine’s Day. We each have our own way of keeping this special day in our hearts, and for…
Comment of the Day: Religious Zealots Who Don’t Get Religion
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
“Kirby-side” Chicken Pick-Up Now Available at Haven
I know the parking situation around Haven has been a bit of a nightmare lately. Just as the construction on Kirby finally ceased, new “breastaurant” Twin Peaks opened up and unleashed its often obnoxious clientele upon the small parking area shared by Haven, Cafe Japon, Taco Cabana and a small…
Upcoming: Basshunter, Escape The Fate, Gipsy Kings, High On Fire, Jesus & Mary Chain
7horse: Mon., April 9. Fitzgerald’s, 2706 White Oak, Houston. Allen Toussaint: Fri., March 9. Dosey Doe Coffee Company, 25911 I-45 N., Spring. The Wheeler Brothers, The Asteroid Shop, Antonio Estevan Huerta: Sat., April 7. Warehouse Live, 813 St. Emanuel, Houston. Basshunter: Fri., Feb. 24. Rich’s Houston, 2401 San Jacinto, Houston…
Fear Not: Rick Perry Is Considering Running Again for President in 2016
The GOP presidential primary has had a lot less laughs since Texas governor Rick Perry dropped out. Sure, the idea of Newt Gingrich or Rick Santorum being president is pretty funny, but without Perry there’s just something missing. Great news, then: Perry has told ABC News he is considering running…
Nguyen Ngo 2: Gimme Some More
I love my friends, not only because they’re wonderful people, but also because I can learn from them. Most importantly, I learn the best places to go eat. So, when I asked where the best bánh mì sandwiches were to be found, I was pointed to Nguyen Ngo. I was…
Local R&B Singer Talks Opening Whitney Houston’s Final Tour
It’s not every day that someone calls our office claiming to being the opening act for Whitney Houston’s final tour. But it did Monday morning, when Azaryah Davidson, a Houston R&B singer who goes by Azaryah, rang up and said just that. He’s legit; we checked. Azaryah, 36, is a…
Yet Another Dr. Brown Lawsuit: Franchisees Say He’s Tapping Their Phones, Overbilling Patients
Physician-franchisees of erstwhile hand doctor/wife-beater Michael Brown’s medical empire have sued Brown in Harris County District Court, accusing him of siphoning money for personal “perks,” tapping office phones, overbilling patients and blocking doctors’ computer access. It’s a bit confusing, but Brown’s business interests are sort of like Jiffy Lubes of…
DVDs and Blu-rays: The “What’s Love Got to Do with It?” Edition
The Dead stars Rob Freeman and Prince David Osei; Howard J. Ford and Jonathan Ford co-direct. The Setup: Nothing says “I love you” like watching zombies tear helpless humans from limb to limb, so this Valentine’s Day forget the flowers, forget the chocolate — give your significant other The Dead…
Summoning The Dead: Which Six Artists Would You Bring Back To Life?
The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place – lots of times, you’re even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good – so once a week we’re going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Something you always wanted to…
Tuesday February 14, 2012 Deals of the Day
This week’s Houston Press Voice Daily Deal is good for 50 percent off ($5 for $10) at Mission Burrito. Enjoy delicious, healthy Mexican fare without the guilt. Create your own burrito at Mission Burrito, and choose from a variety of fresh ingredients as you go through the assembly-line ordering process…
Ricardo Luna: Tries to Pay for Lap Dance with Crack; Assaults Cops on Way to Jail (Allegedly)
Ricardo Luna had to wonder what this world is coming to. Not only did the stripper he attempted to pay with crack cocaine refuse that form of payment, but she also turned him in to management at Austin’s XTC Men’s Club. And now, in the wee hours of Sunday morning,…
Songs For A Future Generation: Top 10 B-52’s Deep Cuts
The B-52’s are the quintessential alternative/New Wave/jam band. They can be both metaphorical and fun at the same time. However, what makes them different from other New Wave bands is that lead singer Fred Schneider provides a unique sprechgesang style to the genre. The band met after having a few…
My Favorite Seasonal Candy
As I popped open my first St. Arnold’s Spring Bock of the year, my mind turned to the passage of time. Mercurial in nature and impossible to halt, time offers us an ineffable, constant partner in life’s dance. Spring becomes summer, summer becomes fall. Winter dawns and is swallowed up…
Lia Cook Weaves Photographic Magic at Houston Center for Contemporary Craft
There is a great illusion at work in Lia Cook’s work. Her massive, black and white photographs of human faces — children gazing calmly at the camera, or extreme close-ups of lips and noses — are not photographs at all. Rather, they’re comprised of intricately woven cotton that, when viewed…
How to Make a Quick, Easy and Inexpensive Romantic Dinner for Valentine’s Day
Every year, it happens. The Valentine’s Day procrastinators come out of the woodwork, desperately scrambling for flowers and chocolate at the very last minute. This past Sunday, my mother — who is a private chef — received an email from a man who wanted her to cook a romantic dinner…
Aero Justin Fontaine Tweets About “Foo Faggots,” Gets Suspended
Houston Aero Justin Fontaine has been suspended for two games for a Grammy tweet in which he said, “I disagree, the Foo Faggots were awful.” The Aeros’ parent team, the Minnesota Wild, announced the action last night. “Minnesota Sports and Entertainment (MSE) apologizes for the offensive slur that was posted…
Polyphonic Spree’s Tim DeLaughter Drops The Ultimate AM Gold Playlist
If you have been missing Dallas’s Polyphonic Spree, then 2012 could be your year. With new music in the offing — including a Christmas record due in the fall — the 21-member-strong Spree is gearing up to bring smiles to audiences again. Leaders Tim DeLaughter and Julie Doyle formed the…
East End to Get Artsy Bus Shelters and Rubbish Bins
The East End revival continues. This time with a “dream team of famous public works artists” who will transform the area with out-of-the-box benches and trash cans. The Greater East End District recently announced that Anthony Thompson Shumate, Gary Sweeney, METALAB and the Art Guys (a.k.a. Michael Galbreth and Jack…
Kelvin Johnson, 39, Bayou Body Count No. 18
The body of a man who was shot to death was found near the North Freeway early Sunday morning, police say. Kelvin Johnson, 39, was found in the 8100 block of Lawn Street shortly before 6 a.m. Police had received a call about a deceased body and Johnson was declared…
Accidental Karaoke at The Spot on 18th
The second-worst thing you could do on a first date is schedule that first date at a bar karaoke night. The worst thing you could do on a first date is schedule that first date at a bar karaoke night and sing Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know.” I will buy…
Politics Is No Match for the Human Heart in Coast of Utopia: Shipwreck at Main Street Theater
The setup: Let’s see, where were we? The last time we met Tom Stoppard’s displaced 19th-century Russian revolutionaries, they were scattered across Europe looking for life’s meaning in political upheavals soon to be (good news — that production has been extended). Here, in the second part of his epic trilogy,…
Whitney & Me: One Fan’s Recollections
Saturday I got a text from a close friend saying that Whitney Houston had passed away. Needless to say, I was a bit shocked. I honestly thought she would be around for years to come so that she could could keep blessing us all with her terrific voice.. I grew…
Creepy Cards, Last-Minute Convenience-Store Gifts, Etc.: Don’t Miss Our Valentie’s Day Stuff
It’s Valentine’s Day, you better remember. We’ve been on the case, and in case you missed it, check out our VD items: 11 vintage Valentine’s cards and why they are so damn creepy; last-minute convenience-store Valentine’s gifts she’ll just love; and the ancient bloody, sexy beginnings of the holiday. Our…
Top 5 Amusing Food-Related Entries From Samuel Johnson’s Dictionary
During a recent trip across the pond, I visited the life residence of Samuel Johnson, a charming four-story house-turned-museum in south London. I’d recently read Johnson’s A Journey to the Western Islands of Scotland, but was fuzzy on his most famous work, the Dictionary of the English Language, published in…
Canciones De Amor: A Valentine’s Playlist En Español
Ahh, Valentine’s Day. Another “holiday” based on a beautiful human emotion that was quickly corrupted by greeting-card companies, the flower industry and whoever invented chocolate-covered strawberries. Yet at the core of Valentine’s Day is the force that makes the world go ’round: Love. And what sexier way to express that…
Mario Power-Ups as Interpreted Through Dream Imagery
For reasons better not gone into, Art Attack has a background in dream interpretation, the study of the meaning behind objects that appear in our dreams. You thought that your brain was just being funky when it had you downing a bowl of raisins with Kesha and Cornelius from Planet…
App of the Week: Grocery Time
App: Grocery Time Platform: iPhone Website: GroceryTimeApp.com Cost: $1.99 I’ve tried grocery-helper apps before and never found one that blew me away. I was persuaded to give this one a shot when our own John Royal told me he was doing a story on a Houston Aero who designed the…
Free the Books: Librotraficante Caravan Heads to Arizona to Create “Underground Libraries”
The folks at Nuestra Palabra: Latino Writers Having Their Say are taking action against Arizona’s attempt to eliminate Mexican-American studies in its schools. If Arizona is taking Hispanic-culture books out of its schools, they will bring Hispanic-culture books to Arizona. The Librotraficante Caravan will leave Houston next month and have…
Pop Rocks: Why Was I Not Informed of Halle Berry’s Straight-to-DVD Shark Attack Movie?
It isn’t often (well, not often enough) that a movie comes along that combines two of my favorite things. In the case of Dark Tide — debuting On Demand March 8 and on DVD March 30 — those things would be great white sharks and Halle Berry in a bikini…
Yahoo Answers Chooses The Best Valentine’s Day Songs
We just read today that the most famous song for Valentine’s Day is “Let’s Get It On” by Barry White. It literally read, “Prally barry white lets get it on. it was voted the most romantic song of the last century.” Yahoo Answers is either full of trolls or actual…
Taylor Burnham’s Nude Ride: Allegedly Drunk Corpus Cowgirl Leads Cops On Chase Wearing Nothing But Cowboy Boots
Police say a Corpus Christi woman was drunk when they arrested her early Saturday morning after a low-speed chase. At the time of her arrest, 18-year-old Taylor Burnham was wearing nothing but a pair of cowboy boots. Acting on a complaint about a suspicious person, police found Burnham in a…
Where Are We Drinking?
I’m fairly certain that this particular restaurant will be fully packed for Valentine’s Day tonight at dinner; after all, it’s one of the biggest new restaurants to hit Houston in a while. Does the glass of water in a Riedel glass below look familiar to you? Think you know where…
Relationships Suck: Top 5 Movies About Awful Couplings
There is nothing more wonderful than being alone on Valentine’s Day! Naturally, we are being sarcastic. As one half of a couple, Valentine’s Day brings potential surprise engagements, co-worker jealousy-inducing flower deliveries, overpriced prix fixe dinners, a reason to shop at Victoria’s Secret, or, at the very least, a cheap,…
Gothic Council: I See A Symphony And I Want To Paint it Black
VNV Nation is coming, and even though we’ll have to endure endless bitching about how VNV Nation isn’t goth every single goth we know will be there. Ronan Harris and Mark Jackson put on fantastic shows, release brilliant albums, and just all-around enlighten and amaze audiences wherever they go. Knowing…
Jerry Sandusky’s Wife Nearly Runs Over a Reporter (w/ VIDEO)
It’s been awhile since we’ve had a Jerry Sandusky update, and frankly since there’s no Web site that’s able to track his whereabouts GPS-style (at least not one that we as citizens have access to), it’s probably best for everyone that when news breaks regarding the alleged pedophile that I…
The Rest of the Best: Houston’s Top 10 Romantic Restaurants
For the next 20 weeks, we’ll be rounding up the runners-up to our 2011 Best of Houston® winners. In many categories, picking each year’s winner is no easy task. We’ll be spotlighting 20 of those categories, in which the winner had hefty competition from other Houston bars and restaurants. Most…
Annise Parker: Occupy Houston Must Leave Park By Dusk Today (UPDATED)
Mayor Annise Parker says that Occupy Houston supporters in Tranquility Park must leave by dusk today. “I told Occupy Houston leaders in January they need to decide the next phase for their effort,” Parker said. “I support their right to free speech and I’m sympathetic to their call for reform…
Unidentified Asian Male, Bayou Body Count No. 17
The all-but-nude body of an Asian male was found in the backyard of a vacant duplex early Sunday morning, Houston police say. Officers “investigating a separate incident were informed by witnesses that there was a body” nearby, HPD says. The body was found wearing only a single sock and suffering…
Other “Coachella” Festivals We’d Like To See
So, Coachella tickets sold out a few weeks ago. Evidently, the lineup is killer, accommodating to most tastes. Last year, the festival sold out in a week. This year, even with two weekends available, tickets sold out within a couple of hours. Don’t have tickets to the show? Don’t fret!…
Whitney Houston: An Overview of Her Films
Troubled pop/R&B superstar Whitney Houston died Saturday afternoon in Los Angeles, hours before a pre-Grammy party hosted by Clive Davis. Houston, 48, was pronounced dead at around 3:55 p.m. that day at the Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills. Her death sent the music industry reeling in shock — sorta –…
The 5 Best Disses of Religious Zealots in the Greatest Prayer-in-Schools Ruling Ever Written
Last week U.S. District Judge Fred Biery agreed to a settlement in a long-running case involving prayer in a Central Texas school district. His ruling got some ink, but perhaps not all it deserved, for it is a concise masterpiece of sanity that comes from one of the most turbulent,…
The Beats Go On As Grammys Take Care Of Their Own
The Grammy Awards on CBS Sunday night could have easily turned into a wake – or worse, a funeral. After Whitney Houston’s death Saturday, the mood was appropriately somber until a dance party broke out, or perhaps a coming-out party for dance music. Forever trying to keep abreast of the…
Top 5 British Food Traditions To Embrace Now
As mentioned in an earlier post, I recently returned from London, where I was celebrating the 200th birthday of Charles Dickens and stuffing my gob with vittles. Houston stole my heart with its diverse food scene, but London, despite being bloody expensive, still has a certain something, or, rather, certain…
New for the Night: Champagne Dresses on a Beer Budget
Men have been renting tuxedos for years, so it’s about time that women get equal access to high-end clothing rental. Not all of us can afford to splurge on an evening gown or a cocktail dress we will only wear once a year (or less) and that’s where Houston’s newest…
Markayle D. Mosley, 22, Bayou Body Count No. 16
A man was shot to death in an apartment complex near Hobby Airport Friday, police say. Markayle D. Mosley, 22, was shot about 5 p.m. in the Crestmont Village Apartments in the 5600 block of Selinsky, HPD says. Their official information is short and sweet: “Witnesses reported hearing several gunshots…
Lightning Strikes Twice in The Coitus Plays from the New NightCap Theatre
The setup: NightCap Theatre launches its premiere season with two comedies that employ humor to dig deeply into the pitfalls and rewards of personal relationships. The execution: There are two one-act plays, each by a different playwright, a “before and after” theme that serves well. The play titled PRE centers…
Last Minute Dinner, Pantry Party Style
We move. A lot. Between 2006 and 2009, we moved seven times, three of which involved coast-to-coast distances: New York to Fairbanks, Fairbanks to New York, New York to Houston. While there are many drawbacks to moving that often, one of the more fun aspects was the creation of the…
Who Is Paul McCartney?!: Rocks Off Tells You
So, it’s the day after the Grammys, and you may still be wondering who that “hella old” man with the droopy eyes playing the weird left-handed bass was on the telecast last night. You know, the guy next to the guy from Foo Fighters and that one other ancient-looking man…
A Grand Greek Wine Tasting: More Than Just Retsina at Memorial Wine Cellar
I guess I need to get in the habit of drinking more wine, as I only made it through 14 of the 21 wines available at Memorial Wine Cellar yesterday evening for sommelier Evan Turner’s grand Greek wine tasting event before throwing my hands up in happy defeat. Turner has…
Patti LaBelle Airport Brawl: Her Son Can Sue Continental Airlines for Overserving West Point Cadet
Pattil LaBelle’s son will be able to accuse Continental Airlines in court of overserving the West Point cadet who got in a fight with the singer’s entourage. Zuri Edwards, who is also his mother’s bodyguard, was one of the people sued by the cadet, Richard King. LaBelle and several others…
Luck 1.3: “Brains and Ambition, Thinks That’s Supposed to Get Him Somewhere.”
I get the feeling HBO is increasingly aware of the grumblings about the glacial pace of their new Sunday night series. Is that because of my vast insider knowledge of pay-TV networks? No, it’s because HBO aired that “This season on Luck” promo again. After the *third* episode. The message…
The Warning: The 10 Heaviest Albums Before Black Sabbath
Forty-two years ago today, on Friday the 13th, the gates of hell opened up and belched forth Black Sabbath. Upon its release, the Birmingham band’s eponymous debut album instantly became the heaviest, scariest, most evil record of all time, and it still ranks right up there. Calling this record “influential”…
The World’s Sexiest Wine for Valentine’s Day
We’ve written about wine and sex here before: Since antiquity, wine and the cult of Bacchus and Dionysus have been associated with sexuality and intimacy. Wine — red in particular, thanks to its polyphenols — not only diminishes our inhibition (“I wanna tell her that I love her a lot,…
The Bloody, Sexy Beginnings of Valentine’s Day
When you’re giving your significant other overpriced flowers and candies tomorrow, remember this: You’re celebrating the brutal beheading of a dude who just wanted to help horny youngsters. There are many myths and theories about the beginnings of Valentine’s Day, but we turn to the History Channel for our definitive…
At Front Gallery, “Love Man” Has Real Heart
Justin Brown Durand’s new drawings at Front Gallery are inspired by Valentine’s Day, but don’t expect any hearts, flowers or anything remotely resembling your typical saccharine romance. Though there is tons of pink. For “Love Man,” gallery owner Sharon Engelstein reached out to Durand to specifically make a show to…
Are Streaming Sites Ensuring The Music Industry’s Long-Term Survival?
This past week, Paul McCartney’s team pulled most of his catalog – including his works with Wings – off streaming music sites such as Rdio, Rhapsody, Spotify and MOG. Listeners are now deprived of Band On the Run, Back To the Egg, and my personal favorite, McCartney II, among others…
Omar Salazar, 31, Shot By Jealous Husband Who Then Killed Himself, Bayou Body Count No. 15
The man who was with Diego Martinez’s wife when he returned home from work and began shooting, killing her, has also died, police say. And Martinez has committed suicide, they say. Omar Salazar, 31, was with Martha Nava De Martinez, 40, also called Alicia, on Friday morning at her home…
The Oddly Named Patrick Adolf Prendergast Jr. Ripped off FEMA, Jury Rules
Desecrating the name of Adolf, a man named Patrick Adolf Prendergast Jr. has been convicted of ripping off FEMA in the wake of Hurricane Ike, the U.S. Attorney’s Office has announced. And his parents had such high hopes for him when they gave him his middle name. Prendergast, 54, was…
The Alley’s The Seagull Never Flies
The setup: The iconic Russian setting by master scenic designer Kevin Rigdon is all in place on the Alley Theatre’s intimate Neuhaus Stage: birch trees, samovar, divan, ceramic stove, wide wood-planked floor. The physical properties bespeak the last days of the czars; the wispy linen dresses and men’s Victorian suits…
What’s Cooking This Week?
Last week was filled with satisfying, healthy meals starting with a Marinated Sea Bass and ending with a fantastic Grilled Eggplant Flatbread. Now that Valentine’s Day is here, I’ll be wooing my lover with a week full of crave-worthy bites, including a special romantic dinner for two. Here’s what I’m…
Rap Round Table: What Was Whitney Houston’s Best Song?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. This Week’s Panel: TroubleSum, O.N.E., Medicine Girl, D-Risha, Young Sensation, Kyle Hubbard, Zavey, Brad Gilmore Not Invited: Kevin Costner This Week’s Prompt: This is a sad…
The Coast of Utopia: An Extended Run and Revival of Part I — Good News for Tom Stoppard Lovers
Gird your loins. Main Street Theater, which has experienced great success with Voyage, the first part of its The Coast of Utopia trilogy, has decided to extend its run and bring back the Voyage for two performances, “providing the chance to see all the parts of the trilogy over three…
Friday Night: The Lemonheads At Fitzgerald’s
The Lemonheads Fitzgerald’s February 10, 2012 The Fitzgerald’s air was heavy with ’90s nostalgia Friday night, as fans flocked to see The Lemonheads. The band is currently on tour performing their lauded 1992 release, It’s a Shame About Ray, in its entirety. Despite the fact that front man Evan Dando…
Homemade Twix Bars: A Candy Lover’s Dream
It’s February, a month filled with romance, heart-health, a leap day, and mother-effin-chocolate! We’ve already brought you some of Houston’s best ways to indulge in a chocolate a day and learned a little more about dark chocolate, our ingredient of the week. But where would chocolate be, really, without the…
Meet Chris Clackson, Hockey Player, App Developer
John RoyalMeet Chris Clackson, hockey player, iPhone app developer.It’s been a strange season for the Aeros. They shot off to a quick start, having the best record in the league for the first month or so. Then the injury bug hit the parent club, and key player after key player…
Quanell X Postpones Roosevelt Lounge Protest
Sunday afternoon, Rocks Off ventured over to Roosevelt Lounge (5219 Washington) to witness what we expected to be a protest organized by Quanell X, leader of the local chapter of the New Black Panther Party. This event was in direct response to the club’s alleged racist door policies that led…
Comment of the Day: The Subtleness of Creepy Valentine’s Cards
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
15 Inferior Best Picture Oscar Winners (And the Enduring Classics They Beat)
Last Wednesday, Craiggers hit on some forgotten Best Picture Academy Award winners, films which have slipped through the cracks of society’s consciousness for one reason or another; either for being too of-the-moment, not having enough quotable lines, or for simply not having held up very well — hindsight is 20/20,…
Collusion: Firefox Extension Tracks Who’s Tracking You
When it comes to online security, most of us want to feel safe in the knowledge that our normal Internet behavior won’t sacrifice our privacy. We all want to believe that when we surf the Web, the only person who knows what we are looking at are the people in…
10 Most Difficult Video Game Achievements That Aren’t Worth It
Gaming is about challenges, or if you’re into MMORPGs, gaming is about challenges and calling people gaylords. Regardless, game designers go to extreme lengths in order for you to test your skills, with rewards to follow. Sometimes, though, the rewards are simply not worth the agony of the accomplishment. 10…
It’s World Radio Day. La-Di-Freakin’-Da.
Normally, Rocks Off gets all giddy when we get to put together a playlist to celebrate an obscure holiday. However, today is World Radio Day, as declared by last year by the United Nations (the best source of obscure holidays), and it’s put us in a foul mood. The reason…
Where Are We Eating?
I love a good twist on that old breakfast standard, eggs benedict. At this Houston restaurant — a classic in its own right — the recent brunch special featured fresh lobster atop creamed spinach and crumbly biscuits, all topped with a buttery, citrusy hollandaise that I wanted to suck up…
Pinterest Taking Sharing Online to a Whole New Level
Somewhere near the crossroads of Facebook, Tumbler, Digg and an Amazon Wish List, there is a rapidly growing social network known as Pinterest. Developed only a couple years ago, this “virtual pin board” has been rapidly growing in numbers and clout since its beta launch in the spring of 2010…
Who The Eff Is The Ron River?: A Journey Into The Heart Of The Two Americas Of Bon Iver
“Who the fuck is Bon Iver” went the story last night on Twitter as indie musician and soft-spoken beardo Justin Vernon’s Bon Iver project won a Best New Artist Grammy. Never mind that the man has been on the scene since 2008’s For Emma, Forever Ago, but it still seemed…
Whitney Houston In Houston: A Brief Retrospective
All morning, the world woke up to the shocking, but not altogether surprising, news that troubled pop/R&B superstar Whitney Houston died Saturday afternoon in Los Angeles. Houston, 48, was pronounced dead at around 3:55 p.m. at the Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills, according to Reuters. No cause of death has…
Houston Rockets: Their Bench Is the Hottest Team in the Western Conference
In my season preview for the Houston Rockets, I cited the current portion of the season as the “make or break stretch” for the team — a six-game road trip against a bunch of pretty-good-but-not-great teams followed by a six-game homestand against mostly good teams. And once the season started,…
This Week in Deliciousness
Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where the rules are all made up and the points don’t matter. We started the week off right by fantasizing about who we’d most like to eat lunch with. My pick? Summer Glau. And the fantasy lunch would be…
Your iPod Is Interesting Again: 10 New Local Rap Releases Worth Noting
It appears that last year, local underground rap’s most impressive in a handful of terms, was not an anomaly. Six weeks into the last year of human existence (goddamn you, Mayans) and Houston’s burgeoning stars are moving as fervently as ever. Ten relatively new bits of music for your brain:…
“Dude, You’re Getting Adele.” Better Late Than Never…
The best joke in the music business right now is, according to Cactus Music’s Quinn Bishop, something frequently heard recently at his cash register: “Dude, you’re getting Adele.” Even I bought 21 yesterday, the swiping of a credit card that completed a cycle that began several months ago. One night,…
Pico’s Mex-Mex and Samba Grille: Try Two of Houston’s Best for Less
Do you know how much I love Pico’s Mex-Mex and Samba Grille? Let me elaborate, ever so briefly: The soft-shell crabs at Pico’s are a thing of beauty, and the finest preparation of the crabs you’ll consistently find in the city. Those are them up there, looking all fancy and…
5th-Grader Abducted, Sexually “Touched” & Returned to HISD School
A fifth-grade girl from White Elementary was abducted this morning on her way to school by a man who drove her to an apartment “where he touched her in an inappropriate sexual manner” and then returned her to school, HISD says. The principal of the west side school, at 9001…
Screwed Up Eyes And Screwed Down Hairdo: David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust Turns Forty
David Bowie’s space-hippie, proto-punk, peace freak, interstellar rock ‘n roll ambassador Ziggy Stardust character debuted 40 years ago today in London at a gig at the Toby Jug pub. The rail-thin Bowie, resplendent in dyed red hair, androgynous clothing, and a beat mixing The Velvet Underground, The Kinks, Vince Taylor,…
Upcoming Events: Getting in the Carnival Spirit Before Lent
It’s not too late to get your Greek on this weekend at Memorial Wine Cellar as sommelier Evan Turner celebrates Apokries — Greek carnival — with an enormous Greek food and wine tasting. The festivities will run from 4 to 8 p.m. on Sunday, February 12, and feature far more…
Alicia Martinez, 40, Shot by Jealous Husband, Bayou Body Count No. 14
Diego Martinez came home from work about 7 a.m. today and found his wife with another man, police say. He got a semiautomatic pistol and began firing, killing her and seriously wounding the man. Alicia Martinez, 40, died at her home in the 7300 block of Yellow Pine on the…
Person of Interest: Lone “Wolf and Cub”
Tension is growing between Reese and Finch, those partners in crimestopping. In the beginning, the ex-CIA operative’s needling of his nerdy OCD boss seemed almost good-natured, but as Finch continues to deflect Reese’s inquiries about The Machine, the latter has moved into full-scale investigation mode with the help of Det…
Killin’ Them Softly: Celebrating 75 Years Of Roberta Flack
To strike someone with the “underrated greatness” term always carries a bit of weight behind it. You know, the quick snap question of “do they deserve it” comes to mind. Sorry, in the class of underrated greatness, diva subsection, lives Roberta Flack who at the platinum age of 75 still…
Chef Chat, Part 3: Kevin Naderi of Roost – The Tasting
We’ve been chatting with Roost’s chef/owner Kevin Naderi the last couple of days, learning how he found and opened his restaurant in two months flat, and about the intricacies of his cuisine, which, in addition to being farm-to-table, contain little touches of Persian and Asian flavors. It’s been three days…
Sexy Food: A Beginner’s Guide
Candlelight. Yeahhh…now some music. Bawawawchikkawawaaa…let’s rhyme ‘love’ with ‘above,’ and ‘rain’ with ‘again.’ Yeah, nice. Now some body chocolates and champagne. Ohhhh…now a Build a Bear and some face-to-face action followed by catching up on your DVR back catalog. Valentine’s Day: What a sham. Sorry, but it’s a total pile…
Constable May Walker Escapes an Indictment
Precinct 7 Constable May Walker, who has been the subject of investigations by both Wayne Dolcefino and a grand jury over campaign finances, will not be indicted for anything, the district attorney’s office announced today. Walker had been accused of mishandling her office, including having her county employees working on…
Don’t Miss “Hate Expo” at Domy Books
Dusty Peterman and William Keihn, the two artists that make up Mushroom Necklace, have no issues with telling their audience to take a long walk off a short pier, but with more colorful four-letter words. Don’t take it personally, it matches the theme and feel of the artwork they produce…
The End Is Near: 11 Great Second-To-Last Songs
I’m not a linguist but I’ll confess that I’m fascinated by jargon. Ever heard the phrase the 11 O’Clock Number? It’s theatrical shorthand for the big show stopping musical number late in act two. If your musical starts at 8:30 p.m. and you want the crowd awake for the finale…
Openings & Closings: Nothing Bundt News
The opening of Uchi Houston last week was just the prelude to a rash of exciting, greatly anticipated openings across the city. Get ready, folks: It’s a great time to be a diner in Houston. Artisans, the new restaurant from Le Mistral brothers David and and Sylvain Denis with friend…
Last Night: Anvil at Warehouse Live
Most rock bands don’t last 34 days, let alone 34 years. But that’s exactly how long Canadian heavy metal trio Anvil has spent recording and touring — mostly in complete obscurity. Despite ample opportunity, Anvil refused to quit, and in 2008, filmmaker (and former Anvil roadie) Sacha Gervasi shone a…
Vintage Neon: The Week in Photos
It’s time again to check out the Houston Press Flickr Pool and see what kinds of art shots our talented photographers have added. We love street art, unique perspectives and beautiful photos of Houston’s creative community. If you think you’ve got a good eye, drop your pictures in the pool…
HISD’s Grier Scores a Semi-Win in Contract Extension, Three Trustees Search for Their Cojones
Three abstentions? Really? You’re voting on extending the contract of the man who works for you and you opt out? Decide not to have an opinion? Decide not to share your opinion? Certainly it’s unlike any job review in the real world. Last night, as expected, five members of the…
Project Runway All-Stars: The Copycat Challenge
This week on PRAS: The show suffers from a serious lack of Anthony; Mondo reveals a hate-crush on Kenley; the designers are paired up to create sportswear for a weekend getaway FACE-OFF challenge. This week’s guest judge is Cynthia Rowley. At the beginning of the episode designers choose a bag,…
Rocks Off Now Sponsoring Some Cactus Music In-Stores
After a preview last fall featuring Girl In a Coma, it gives Rocks Off great pleasure to announce that effective immediately, we will be sponsoring selected in-stores at Cactus Music, no fewer than two a month. Our first in-store is 3 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 18, with Texas mods the Freddy…
Sesame Street Live: Elmo Makes Music: Everything Old Is New…ish Again
If Sesame Street’s red, eternally three-year-old Muppet seems less ubiquitous these days than he did during the “Tickle Me Elmo” hysteria of the late ’90s, well, he’s got a lot more competition. Sure, plenty of kids still want to be shown how to get, how to get to Sesame Street,…
Sheyla Hershey’s Gigantic Boobs Save Her in Car Crash, She Claims
Everyone’s favorite giant-tittay woman, Humble’s Sheyla Hershey, is back in the news again, somehow. It’s been awhile since she’s garnered publicity about her giant 38KKK rack, and such things apparently cannot be allowed to stand. Fox 26 is the go-to source for all Sheyla Hershey news, and they broke another…
Gone But Never Forgotten: Happy 50th Birthday Cliff Burton
Today would have marked the 50th birthday of a bass guitarist named Clifford Lee Burton who played for a band called Metallica. You may have heard of them. Unfortunately, Cliff passed away in 1986 in a bus crash shortly before he would have turned 25. Of course, if you’ve ever…
Valentine’s Day Dining 2012
Ed. note: We are running this again after publishing it a week ago, for all you last-minute lovers. It isn’t hard to figure out why dining and chocolate candy play such a prominent role in Valentine’s Day celebrations. Eating is, by nature, extremely sensual. Few activities are capable of pleasurably…
Comment of the Day: Offensive Courthouse Paintings?
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
G Gallery’s “Escapism:” You Will Want to Follow the White Light
Disclaimer: Forgive us for this lowbrow reference used to describe an exceptionally superb collection of artwork. During a recent visit to G Gallery in the Heights, we were reminded earlier today of the movie Joe Versus the Volcano starring Tom Hanks as the downtrodden Joe, who slaves away in a…
Patio Dining: Date Night at Grappino di Nino
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I like my Friday nights to come with two things; a bit of romance and a whole lotta cocktail. With an open-air patio and fully stocked bar, Grappino di’ Nino’s makes a very suitable date night spot. Tack on live music…
Reviews For The Easily Distracted: The Vow
Title: The Vow How Many Ass Shots Can We Look Forward To? One from Channing Tatum, but it’s fairly extended. None from Rachel McAdams. None?! Nope. Frankly, it’s a national outrage. Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: Two strips of bacon out of five. Brief Plot Synopsis: After…
Confessions of a Mormon Boy: A Complex, Compelling One-Man Show at Theater LaB Houston
The setup: The struggle of a devout Mormon youth to overcome homosexual drives, his entry into the fleshpots of Manhattan and the lure of drugs, and the ultimate resolution of his personal odyssey is recounted in a complex and compelling one-man performance by Steven Fales. The execution: The one-week-only show…
We Tell You Who Will Win Grammys So You Don’t Have To Watch Them
The best thing about the annual Grammy nominations and awards shows is the clamor of anger that rises up when the mere mention of the event even comes up. Immediately people begin calling it a travesty, trotting out all the people who have been snubbed — Jethro Tull beats Metallica…
Bartender Chat: David of Kata Robata
My chiropractor told me I’m constantly pinching nerves in my neck because I sleep on my stomach, and in order to break that habit, I need a “special” pillow. Makes sense, I guess, so off to Bed, Bath & Beyond I went to check out the awkward, way overpriced and…
Owls Stage the Comeback and Stun the Coogs in Game That Epitomized Both Teams
The Houston Cougars dashed off to a 13-0 lead against the Rice Owls on Wednesday night. The offense worked to perfection. There was some decent defense being played. But as the teams went into a timeout only 7:45 into the game, one couldn’t help but sense doom hanging over the…
Top 5 Farts in Video Game History with Video Evidence of He Who Dealt It
Everyone farts. Even that virginal cheerleader you had the crush on in high school began her day with a triumphant blast of her trumpet. It’s a fact of life as stinky and socially irrelevant as The Facts of Life, and to us modern hepcats we can’t see anyone making a…
Week in Photos: Tuna Poke
Each week, we take a dip into the Houston Press Flickr pool and see what our talented photographers have been up to. We’re looking for pictures that represent the best of Houston, from food to art to events, to secret hidden spots of beauty. Just drop them in our Flickr…
11 Vintage Valentine’s Day Cards and Why They Are Really Creepy
Love is in the air. Kids everywhere — or, more likely, their moms — are buying boxes of cheap Valentine’s Day cards to hand out in the classroom. It’s a tradition that’s been going on for years, and obviously it’s not just for kids. But in days of yore, card…
Bang Bangz: Tax the Wolf Offshoot Sets A Pretty High Bar
Houstonians are more than likely familiar with Mario Rodriguez for his work with Tax the Wolf. The experimental powerhouse has been winning awards and critical acclaim for his experimental and cutting edge music for some time. Now, he’s teamed with Elizabeth Salazar and Vik Montemayor on a new endeavor. It’s…
La Fisheria Opens Tomorrow as Houston Welcomes a Mexican Celebrity Chef to the City
Most Americans wouldn’t know chef Aquiles Chávez if they saw him on the street, even with his trademark handlebar mustache and Jack Sparrow-style dreadlocks tucked under a straw hat. But ask anyone in Latin America about Chávez and they’ll immediately grin and say, “El hombre con el bigote!” as they…
100 Creatives 2012: J.J. Johnston
A fan of clarity and crispness in his work and performances, Johnston takes the company’s slogan (“Boldly Re-Envisioning Classical Drama”) to heart. He adds unique flairs to his productions, such as sprinkles of political or social commentary, to make them even more relevant and poignant. The company and Johnston’s personal…
Last-Minute Valentine’s Gifts (From Convenience Stores) She’s Sure to Love
Let’s face it, almost every dude has been there: It’s February 13, and you’re just coming out of a K2-induced fugue state. Rubbing your bloodshot eyes and picking yourself off the floor of the abandoned tannery you’re in for some reason, the events of the last 24 hours come trickling…
Mike Wiggins: Guadalupe County Judge, Former DPS Officer, Caught with Weed in Hotel
Mike Wiggins, Guadalupe County Judge and a former DPS sergeant, has been arrested for having weed in a College Station hotel room. Wiggins, a Republican first elected in 2006 to lead the county, which is east of New Braunfels, was attending a convention there when the cops were called because…
Bill Belichick in Super Bowl XLVI: “Make Him Go to Manningham” (w/ Sound FX VIDEO)
I got home from my show this afternoon and, having just finished up talking about sports for five hours, I did what I normally do — turn on one of the sports channels on television. Luckily (or perhaps not so luckily, if I had any designs on being productive), I…
Thanks A Lot: An Introduction To The Late Great Ernest Tubb
Today would have been country legend and pioneer Ernest Tubb’s 98th birthday. Born in 1914 in Crisp, Texas near Dallas, his hometown is now designated as ghost town. For forty years, Tubb was a mainstay on the country circuit and the charts, with songs like “Walking the Floor Over You”,…
Midtown to Get 192-Unit Housing Unit for Homeless Vets
Groundbreaking is scheduled for tomorrow on an $18 million Midtown project that will include 192 housing units for homeless vets. Near the old Days Inn on Travis next to the 59 underpass, the Travis Street Plaza will include housing and support services for homeless and disabled veterans. The location is…
Introducing…The Beatles: Celebrating Their First Ed Sullivan Performance
Lonesome, Onry and Mean didn’t get in much trouble in school. So his parents were a little disturbed to find the eighth grader in the principal’s office on the afternoon of February 10, 1964. He and his best friends, Mike Clowdus, Brad Rutledge, and Larry “Suitcase” Simpson, had been written…
Chef Jeramie Robison to Leave Restaurant Cinq at La Colombe d’Or for Uchi Austin
It was bound to happen. In fact, it was in the midst of happening in July of 2010, when a last-minute job offer to take up the Executive Chef post at Restaurant Cinq at La Colombe d’Or kept in him in Houston for the last 18 months. Chef Jeramie Robison,…
Kaleem Stephens: Tells Undercover Cop of Plans to Rob Armored Car with “Bin Laden-Style Gun”
Kaleem Stephens and his colleagues had big plans. They were going to knock over an armored car, with the help of some employees on the inside. The take would be about $250,000. The plans included Stephens using what he called “a Bin Laden-style gun” on the driver which, evidence showed,…
The Happy Humor of the Harvard Sailing Team
Before there was “Shit Girls Say,” there was “Boys Will Be Girls.” The funnier take on the concept from the Harvard Sailing Team made the Internet rounds in the spring of 2010 and forever popularized the phrase “Totes the best hun-cal fro-yo.” Now, the sketch comedy group comprised of neither…
Top 10 Carole King Songs Written for Other Artists
Carole King is a woman who has played a major part in creating numerous classic hit songs. She has helped to shape popular music since she and then-husband Gerry Goffin (they divorced in 1968) wrote “Will You Love Me Tomorrow” in 1961. Her songs have been covered by such diverse…
Chef Chat, Part 2: Kevin Naderi of Roost
Yesterday, our chat with Chef/Owner Kevin Naderi of Roost sparked a debate in the comments section about how soon his bubble would burst, with most commenters in support of expanding the Roost bubble. Today, Naderi shares insights into his cuisine, tells us who Houston’s hottest chef is, and reveals the…
“Gulf of America”? Don’t Stop There! Five More Equally Sane Name Changes Needed
A Mississippi lawmaker has completely and utterly disgraced Texas politicians by being the first to introduce legislation to change the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America. And not because, as Stephen Colbert once put it when he made the same suggestion, “we broke it, we…
Free for All: Art Without a Price Tag
On Friday, we’ll be at Brazos Bookstore for the latest edition of the Gulf Coast Reading series. Sam Amadon (left), Liz Countryman and Thea Lim will be reading from their latest works. The author of Like a Sea, Amadon’s most recent effort is The Hartford Book. Countryman, a PhD candidate…
Happy Birthday Joe Ely: The Lubbock Flash Turns 65
I was living in Holland in 1977 when my younger brother, who had attended Wayland Baptist University on a track scholarship until booze and girls were discovered in his dorm room, came for a visit. While living in Plainview, his stomping grounds had been the gin joints of Lubbock. Upon…
Restaurant Scramble: The Answers, Please
On Tuesday, we asked you to decipher a series of puzzles in which 20 well-known Houston restaurants had their names/logos chopped and screwed. We received a ton of correct answers from you, our clever readers, which means a lot of people went into the pool to win a set of…
Presented (Almost) Without Comment: Brigham Young University and Blackface
How do students at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah celebrate Black History Month? Well, mostly they don’t. Obviously. There are roughly 176 African-American students out of the 30,000 kids at Mitt Romney’s alma mater. (Surprisingly, one of those black students actually made it into the video above.) But at…
Go Texans: Andre Johnson & J.J. Watt Are Rodeo Parade Grand Marshals
Houston has a “Go Texan” day every year before the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo Parade, but this year it should feature an extra “s” — two Texans will be Grand Marshals for the downtown event. Andre Johnson and J.J. Watt will be there, the HLSR announced today. “There is…
10 Rom-Coms Even Guys Will Watch
Can you smell it? Either love is in the air or the Chick-fil-A has started using chicken-scented billboards. Yes, Valentine’s Day is coming to give all men night sweats over what to do on the most romantic of the Hallmark holidays. As we were searching around for entertainment suggestions, we…
Clearing Up What Happened At Roosevelt Lounge
It’s been reported that last weekend, a group of people was turned away from Washington Avenue’s Roosevelt Lounge for, according to the aggrieved, having “too many black people.” Reports of exactly what happened have been conflicting. Wednesday, the Houston Press spoke to two eyewitnesses close to the situation to get…
HISD Board Might Extend Terry Grier’s Contract Tonight
Are you ready for some more Terry Grier? Five Houston school board members are, and they are looking to extend the superintendent’s contract for another year, to 2014. The move may come as early as tonight, although some are questioning whether doing so would violate the state’s Open Meetings Act…
Express Yourself: The 10 Best Deep Tracks of Madonna’s Career
Madonna is one of those artists that does it all: she sings, dances, acts, and occasionally writes. The main thing that keeps her fans begging for more is that she always seeks to reinvent herself – whether it be her ‘Borderline’-era ’80s street-style or the sleekness that defined her videos…
DVDs & Blu-rays: Anonymous and More
Anonymous stars Rhys Ifans and Vanessa Redgrave; Roland Emmerich directs. The Setup: You have to put history aside when you watch Anonymous. Yes, there are some historical touchstones in the film — the members of the royal family and certain events we know to be true, but for the most…
Health Department Roundup
After a slow month, the inspections have gotten comparatively dirtier. It was a dangerous week for dirty restaurants, a couple of which got stuck with citations. Late Nite Pie (302 Tuam) burned down six days after an inspection turned up seven violations. The violations were fairly routine, and included wall/ceiling…
Today in High School Cheerleader-Coach Rants: Y’All Are a Bunch of “Highfalutin’ Heifers”
When it comes to high school-coach rants, we have to admit we are only familiar with football coaches. And even the worst of those never called us “highfalutin’ heifers,” but it’s probably because we were all pretty low-falutin’. A cheerleader coach at Cypress Woods High — one who had obviously…
Best Comics in January: Finally the 2nd Issue of After Twilight and a New Twelve
Once a month the amazing staff at 8th Dimension Comics selects a pile of the best new releases for us to peruse and judge. Sorry we’re a bit late, and double sorry that we dropped the ball on picking up the book for Scarlet Spider #1 set right here in…
Summer Fest Promises 2012 Lineup “Soon”
Rocks Off was setting our house in order after our long absence, when at some point we realized that while we were away, we had barely heard anything about this year’s Free Press Summer Fest at all. We vaguely remembered the festival leaking electro DJ duo Major Lazer a while…
Ingredient of the Week: Dark Chocolate
First, a quick and dirty lesson on the varieties of chocolate: Unsweetened chocolate is all cacao and no sugar, making it incredibly bitter. It is also known as baking chocolate and is usually found in the baking aisle of grocery stores in the forms of blocks or bars. The sugar…
Movies You Should Watch: Five Oscar Losers That Were Also Worth the Win
The movies that win the Oscar for Best Picture aren’t the only ones that deserve your attention. Here are five films that were nominated, but lost, that we think are worth a screening…
Top Five Fantasy Lunch Mates
Driving home from work the other day, I found myself making a mental list. I wondered: Who would I have lunch with if time, money and social standing got thrown out the window? Would I pick an actor, singer, artist, politician? I established a few rules: 1- It can be…
Smooth: 10 Definitive Neo-Soul Tracks
Nearly 12 years after the release of Voodoo, Michael Eugene Archer, better known for his stage name, D’Angelo, has emerged out of his self-imposed exile. After doing battle with drugs and alcohol for a decade, last week the singer kicked off a European tour entitled The D-Tour, for his first…
Comments of the Day: Lactation Not Related to Pregnancy? What?
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Eat Spaghetti, Help Houston Gay Leader Tim Brookover Fight Cancer
Tim Brookover has been the editor of OutSmart magazine, a key staffer for city councilmember Sue Lovell and is currently president of the Houston GLBT Community Center. He’s also fighting cancer at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, and racking up some dismaying bills doing so. So friends and supporters are throwing…
Pop Rocks: Say Goodbye to Prop 8 with These Closeted Onscreen Duos
On Tuesday, those liberal Satanists on the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals affirmed a lower court’s ruling that California’s Proposition 8, which banned same-sex marriages, was unconstitutional. Supporters of the ban may still appeal the decision to the Supreme Court, and no new marriages will be allowed until appeals are…
App of the Week: WeatherBug Elite
App: App Shopper Platforms: iPhone, iPad, Android, BlackBerry, Windows, Palm Web site: WeatherBug Web site Cost: $0.99 People who know me know I’m a weather nerd. I love reading about it and talking about high pressure areas, cold fronts, hurricanes and the like. The doppler radar plays a prominent role…
Female Demand: Outside the Universe is Really, REALLY Outside
Being loud is an art. Strike that, being artfully loud is an art, being regular loud only requires some amperage. The key seems to be finding a way to harness the sound of collision, to ride on top of the train as it crashed. Few artists have really been able…
Jack Donaghy Backs Romney: Our Favorite TV Characters Vote
The Republicans are whittling down now to the bare bones. Not to discredit anyone, but the race is basically Rom vs. Newt for the win. While we don’t really miss the circus show that was the Republican Party just a few short months ago, at least we had more options…
Top Chef: Texas and an Impromptu Tour of the Houston Press Offices
I arrived home yesterday evening to find that my cable had gone out. To be fair, it could have been out for days. I have no idea. Such are the perils of owning a Roku box and living off Hulu and Netflix instead of basic cable. Either way, I had…
Some Judges Want Paintings of “Shirtless Black Men Hauling…Bales of Cotton” Removed from Courthouse
Six historical paintings at Houston’s federal courthouse have raised some hackles with two federal judges, who believe the paintings dredge up offensive imagery of slavery. The paintings, depicting the Houston Ship Channel in the late 1870s, were completed between 1938 and 1941, and were displayed in the courthouse entryway from…
Hotel Galvez Mardi Gras Brunch
Wake up Sunday morning to a scrumptious Hotel Galvez Mardi Gras Brunch. Tables will be loaded down with lots of Louisiana favorites as well as Gulf Coast cuisine such as prime rib, various seafood dishes, and desserts. Top it off with complimentary champagne and mimosas. 11 a.m. to 2 p.m…
Moulin Rouge
“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and to be loved in return,” says Ewan McGregor, in the film Moulin Rouge. McGregor plays a penniless writer who moves to Paris and quickly falls in love with a beautiful courtesan of the Moulin Rouge, played by Nicole Kidman…
The Coitus Plays
The Coitus Plays, a pair of one-acts that discusses sexual relations, is neatly divided into Pre and Post. Pre, written by Houston’s own Peter Wittenberg Jr., “is about a writer who can’t get it up,” says Eric James of the newly formed Nightcap Theatre. “He’s not sure if his problem…
David Berkeley
The Photobooth on Montrose, both a commercial photography studio and a performance space, is one of the oddest combinations of ventures we’ve ever seen. (The top honor still goes to the Bar of Soap punk club/laundromat in Dallas). Singer/songwriter/author David Berkeley will be on Photobooth’s stage today. The low-key storyteller’s…
”Revelation: Major Paintings by Jules Olitsk”
A major figure in 20th-century American art gets a retrospective in ”Revelation: Major Paintings by Jules Olitski,” currently at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston. Born in the Ukraine, he came to the United States at the age of four, and it was here that he created his paintings, many…
Thelma & Louise
See the movie that made Brad Pitt a star and instant heartthrob, Thelma & Louise, the 1990s feminist film about two women who have had enough of living by the rules and decide to take a road trip in a 1966 Thunderbird. Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon are the stars,…
My Heart Is an Idiot
Davy Rothbart is great as the head of FOUND magazine, a collection of discarded notes and photos. He’s not so good at relationships. That’s not our opinion, that’s what he shows us in the documentary My Heart Is an Idiot. Directed by David Meiklejohn, the film follows Rothbart as he…
2012 Uptown Funky Umbrella Brigade
Start practicing your Hokey Pokey moves – the world’s record for the largest umbrella dance is at stake. Last year the Uptown Funky Umbrella Brigade had more than 500 dancing participants and earned a place in the Guinness Book of World Records. That record is being challenged, but the Brigade…
ZooZoo
Join the Imago Theatre for a one-night-only performance of the wonderfully imaginative ZooZoo. The performers in this sweet show are wonderfully avant-garde acrobats and mimes. There are also sleepless hippos, rabbits looking to hitchhike a ride, and penguins that are up for a grand game of musical chairs. In one…
Anti-Love Party and Fundraiser
For some people, Valentine’s Day is about romance and roses; for others, it’s about slashed tires and burned photos of cheating exes. That last group would include the FrenetiCore, who celebrate the holiday every year with the Anti-Love Party and Fundraiser at Numbers Nightclub. This year, FrenetiCore is going all…
Dominic Walsh Dance Theater’s Winter Mixed Rep
Be prepared for an emotional roller coaster during the Dominic Walsh Dance Theater’s Winter Mixed Rep. Sure to be a highlight of the evening is the revival of 27’52’’ by Jirí Kylián, considered by many to be the most prestigious and innovative choreographer working today. Dirk Haubrich created the music…
2011 Oscar Nominees: Best Documentary (Short Subject)
If there’s a theme to the 2011 Oscar Nominees: Best Documentary (Short Subject), it’s one of resilience. In The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom by Lucy Walker and Kira Carstensen, unseen villagers stand on a mountainside and watch as the tsunami uproots homes and sweeps away cars. We hear their…
What’s Color Got to Do With It?
Don’t expect a formal, highly structured program at the Voices Breaking Boundaries’ What’s Color Got to Do With It? That’s not VBB’s style. Instead, the group presents an idea and then opens the floor for discussion. In this case, they asked five artists and writers to explore the ways in…
Motion Captured: An Evening of Dance on Film
We have to admit, the title of Rosie Trump’s film If she needs a third eye she grows it is intriguing. Third eye, shot in an intimate setting with minimal lighting, is just one of the films being featured during Motion Captured: An Evening of Dance on Film. Local filmmaker…
Michael Jackson: The IMMORTAL World Tour by Cirque du Soleil
Think of Michael Jackson: The IMMORTAL World Tour by Cirque du Soleil as the show that Jackson wasn’t able to do. It pays homage to Jackson’s body of work and asks “what if” about the show he was rehearsing at the time of his death. Acrobats, dancers, aerial artists and…
Traveling Light
British dramatist Nicholas Wright’s new play Traveling Light is a wonderfully mesmerizing view into the early world of cinema. It takes place during a time when the movies were a completely new, and still very much inspired, art form. At the center of Wright’s drama is the fictional Maurice Montgomery,…
Mercury Baroque: A French Valentine’s
Romance gets the once-over by Mercury Baroque during today’s A French Valentine. The group performs cantatas by Jean-Philippe Rameau, including Orphée, the tragic tale of Orpheus and Eurydice. She dies on their wedding day, leaving Orpheus so heartbroken that he travels to the underworld to bring her back. He succeeds…
The Coast of Utopia: Shipwreck
There are some parts of the character of revolutionary Michael Bakunin that are so unlikeable, it was difficult at first to play him, actor Guy Roberts told us. He’s easily the most annoying, and yet in some ways the most enthralling, character in Voyage, the first part of Tom Stoppard’s…
Protect the Abs at All Cost
“He’s sooo hot,” the woman sitting next to me at the screening of Safe House sighed to her friend as the film’s opening images of Ryan Reynolds working out flashed on the screen. She then went on to fiddle with her BlackBerry for half the movie. Based on those two…
We Love Food
What’s not to eat in Houston? The answer is very little. In keeping with the city’s modern image as a 21st-century melting pot, almost every conceivable cuisine can be found in our sprawling metropolis — and you’ll need to be willing to explore nearly every square inch of it in…
Morning Machaca
Take a peek inside Los Corrales in this week’s slideshow. Aporreado is a very popular dish in Michoacán, the southwestern Mexican state that borders the Pacific Ocean. But you just don’t find it often here in Houston, despite the many Michoacanos in the city, and despite its many charms. In…
Paid to Smile
Evan Dando has always marched to the beat of a different drummer. Emerging amidst the onset of ’90s grunge, the Lemonheads inadvertently lived up to their namesake — they were a sweet-and-sour candy in a ruling sea of sullen flannel cookie-cutters. Dando, the band’s handsome front man, is known as…
The Human League
More than a year ago, we had the chance to attend a concert by La Catrin, a.k.a. Bianca Montalvo. The ex-Heist at Hand member vamped her way through a series of half-pop/half-goth masterpieces in a mesmerizing display of stagemanship. After a very long wait, we finally have her in our…
Great Britten
After the storm and fury of Peter Grimes (1945), whose sea-tossed music and psychologically truthful and damaged characters were heralded as a new era in English opera, composer Benjamin Britten, for his next stage work, went toward the simple but elegant. “I am keen to develop a new art form…
B.J. Thomas
Older Houstonians’ first taste of B.J. Thomas came with his cover of Hank Williams Sr.’s “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry” in his original band, the Triumphs. The Lamar Consolidated alum would go on to the bright lights of the recording industry within a decade, teaming with pop maestro Burt…
Natalie Cole
Few children of superstars ever seem to get out from under the cloud of their famous parents, but jazz legend Nat King Cole’s daughter Natalie has certainly carved out her own space in modern popular music. And while she burst onto the scene in 1975 with Aretha Franklin-style R&B hits…
Hand-Doctor Follies
CRIME More Hand-Doctor Follies Michael Brown continues to astound By Craig Malisow The chief financial officer for infamous hand doctor Michael Brown’s various corporations invoked his Fifth Amendment rights during divorce proceedings last week in response to a barrage of questions about whether Brown has been siphoning corporate funds to…
Machine Head
Any list of great thrash-metal bands — Slayer, Metallica, Hatebreed and a few others — has to include Oakland’s Machine Head. Approaching its 20th year, the band deserves props for longevity alone and continues to raise the bar, despite sometimes confounding fans with elements like the rap-style vocals of 1999…
Emilie Autumn
One niche of goth music continues to rise in popularity: groups who incorporate or, better yet, focus on using stringed instruments. We’re talking artists like Zoe Keating, the always-worthy Rasputina and, of course, Emilie Autumn. The famously lavish and bipolar violinist had the chops to be included on Dethklok’s Dethalbum,…
Capsule Art Reviews: “Edward Lane McCartney: Shift,” “A Crack in Everything,” “John Sonsini: New Paintings,” “Luminous,” “New Paintings: Geoff Hippenstiel,” “Since I’ve Been Away”
“Edward Lane McCartney: Shift” With the vibrant, chromatic works on paper and plastic currently up at Goldesberry Gallery, you’d think Carlos Cruz-Diez was back in town. You’d only be half wrong. This past spring, Edward Lane McCartney took a course with the Venezuelan kinetic and Op artist while he was…
Polyphonic Spree
If you have been missing Dallas’s Polyphonic Spree, then 2012 could be your year. With new music in the offing — including a Christmas record due in the fall — the 21-member-strong Spree is gearing up to bring smiles to audiences again. Leaders Tim DeLaughter and Julie Doyle formed the…
Ron Paul and Sci-Fi
Dear Mexican, My family for six generations have been born and raised in Brownsville, Texas. Everyone speaks Spanish most of the time. Right now, almost every Republican in the state is trying to get redistricting to the finish line to cut out the bumper crop of Mexican-American candidates from coming…
Estelle
No doubt you have already heard Estelle’s British coo on this side of the Atlantic, attached to the dulcet voices of Kanye West or Rick Ross. West and Estelle’s “American Boy,” detailing a humorous culture clash, was easily one of the most earworm-ready singles of 2008. Whereas American R&B stars…
Capsule Stage Reviews: The Ballad of Emmett Till, The Drunken City, La Traviata, Shadowlands
The Ballad of Emmett Till The brutal murder by two white men of 14-year old Emmett Till, an African-American, was a pivotal moment in America’s Civil Rights movement, and this family chronicle captures the joy in his brief life and the inconsolable tragedy of his death. The simple set includes…
