Bedtime Stories: The Naughtiest Madonna Videos Ever (Semi-NSFW)
This weekend, the grand dame of American pop music, Madonna, will grace the halftime stage at Super Bowl XLVI. This is a major improvement from last year’s more-inhuman-than-human Black Eyed Peas performance, which tested the resolve our country, and even the world. But we all survived. Who won the game…
Let the Super Bowl/Human Trafficking Stories Begin Again!
It’s a staple of every Super Bowl: Politicians pumping up the idea that a tidal wave of prostitutes, many of them underage, are about to descend on the host city. News outlets lap it up, and no one pays any attention to post-mortem comments from cops who say they didn’t…
Young Sensation Only Wants A Chance In Your Speakers
Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group “Artist of the Week,” bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn’t awful? Email their particulars to sheaserrano@gmail.com. Last year, Young Sensation -bespectacled rapper, backpack enthusiast–…
Michael and Rachel Brown Divorce Court: Brown’s CFO Takes the Fifth Over Questions About Alleged Embezzlement
The chief financial officer for Dr. Michael Brown’s various corporations invoked his Fifth Amendment rights during divorce proceedings Tuesday and Wednesday in response to a barrage of questions about whether Brown has been siphoning corporate funds to pay for a boat and home in Miami. Under questioning from Rachel Brown’s…
Unhinged Productions Mounts a Festival of New Plays, Drama-rama-thon
Joe Angel Babb, the artistic director of Unhinged Productions, doesn’t mind if the group’s latest project doesn’t make any money. In fact, he pretty much expects Drama-rama-thon, a festival of new plays, not to. “I knew that this was not a moneymaking venture, this is a mission-driven thing,” he tells…
New PAC Seeks Changes in Houston’s Noise Ordinances
A group of people tied to the local music scene have banded together to form a PAC that will lobby for changes in the Houston noise ordinance. The Greater Houston Entertainment Coalition PAC says it wants to work with the city to improve recent changes to the ordinance, changes which…
Mary Sarah Sings With the Oak Ridge Boys
Mary Sarah is Houston’s fastest rising star. At 16 she’s already a veteran of the road with big name gigs under her belt like performing the national anthem for the Astros and the Texans, and a recording project that we’re not allowed to tell you about yet but can assure…
Watch the Big Game on the Big Screen, Plus Other Super Bowl Specials Around Town
Sometimes, half the fun of watching the Super Bowl is watching it with a crowd. So we’ve rounded up a few places that’ll ensure you’re not alone this Sunday evening — and that you’re not hungry or thirsty, either. El Real Tex-Mex Cafe is showing the Patriots-Giants showdown on its…
Fred Mueller, Christopher Norregaard: A Good Kid, a Good Firefighter Crash & the Pain Endures
Fred Mueller was a promising Bellaire High student down in Galveston enjoying his first Mardi Gras. He went off on a food run in his pick-up truck; when he got lost he made a u-turn on Seawall Boulevard. When he did his truck was smashed into by a motorcycle driven…
Kick It Out: 9 Other Great Songs by Heart
Heart is one of the most enduring, influential, and underrated rock bands of all time. They aren’t afraid to tell you how they feel — even if they are in a pissed-off mood as they seem to be a good portion of the time with classics like “Barracuda,” “Heartless,” and…
Tasting Notes: This Week in (Women’s) Wine Blogs
The Wine Roads of Texas: “If you’ve never seen the communities that run across that vast stretch of road,” writes Margaret Shugart, author of a new blog called The Wine Roads of Texas, “you are missing one of the most unique cultures in Texas society, and certainly some of the…
Dekaney High Riots: Tardy Students Start Fire Inside of the School Gym
On Sunday night, Leticia Miranda received an e-mail from the staff at Andy Dekaney High School, which has been beset with violence that includes all-out riots. “It said they aren’t allowing hoodies, backpacks…and if the kids aren’t there by 8 a.m., the doors would be locked and every student that’s…
Take a Staycation at Portugallia
Last year, my favorite Houston restaurant in which to take a staycation — you know, pretending you’re out of town on some food adventure when in fact you’ve really got $20 in the bank once the meal is over — was Cafe Mawal. At this little converted house near the…
Deontay Greenberry: UH Sticks It to Notre Dame By Stealing Top Recruit
We know we said National Signing Day is an overhyped mess, but don’t tell that to the keening and wailing Notre Dame fans who are screaming pogue mahone to the UH Cougars. UH swooped in at the last second and stole the coveted wide receiver from the Irish, to whom…
Ten Musicians Who Played Other People on TV
Fictional television shows are full of gimmickry. Some of it is good and some of falls flat. Others are subtle in-jokes. However, it can be interesting when a popular artist appears on a television show because it gives the audience a glimpse into another side of their talent (or lack…
Health Department Roundup
The only place to earn a Health Department citation this week was the CVS on 7950 S. Gessner, which got written up for one violation – no Food Dealer’s Permit on hand. And this was a repeat. We had no idea that pre-packaged stuff from corporate distributors was even subject…
Byzantine Frescoes Are Leaving Soon, See Them While You Can
The Menil Collection will soon be saying goodbye to the Byzantine Frescoes. Officials announced last fall that they would be returning the frescoes to their original home, the Orthodox Church of Cyprus, in March. The Menil will also be closing the doors to the Byzantine Fresco Chapel, which has been…
Reality Bites: Kourtney & Kim Take New York
There are a million reality shows on the naked television. We’re going to watch them all, one at a time. I’m guilty of a great many entertainment-related crimes against humanity. I’m an unapologetic fan of the show COPS, have given favorable reviews to most all the Resident Evil movies, and…
Candy Flores, 5: Police Await Autopsy Results on Her Death (UPDATED: Bayou Body Count No. 12)
Houston police are waiting for autopsy results before they decide what steps to take in the death of a five-year-old girl on the west side Tuesday night. Members of Candy Flores’s family told police the girl fell “from a bathroom toilet to the tile floor where she struck her forehead.”…
Causing a Commotion: The Madonna Super Bowl Set List We’d Like to See
Rumors swirled across the Web on Tuesday that Madonna’s upcoming Super Bowl set list had leaked. It sent shivers down the spines of pop historians and shrugs across the shoulders of people who know which teams are actually playing in the Super Bowl. Nicki Minaj and M.I.A. have already confirmed…
UPDATE: Food Maneuvers That Only Work On Television: Drinking Directly From A Straw Stuck In An Orange
When I blogged last week about five food maneuvers that only work on television, Nicholas L. Hall and Dave Lieberman corrected my assertion that drinking out of a straw stuck directly in an orange couldn’t be done in real life. Furthermore, they offered some tips as to how to do…
Comment of the Day: A Biker Vigilante, Thwarted
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Hip-Hop, Interrupted: 7 Rappers That Should Be More Active
Hip-hop is a genre full of guys who put out a new album or mixtape seemingly every single month. They just can’t stop, even when they’re incarcerated in some cases (see: Lil Wayne, Gucci Mane, and TI). It’s as if rapping really is as much of a competition as they…
Michelle DeYoung in HGO’s The Rape of Lucretia
If she had her druthers, mezzo soprano Michelle DeYoung wishes Benjamin Britten had chosen some other name than The Rape of Lucretia for a work with music she describes as “beautiful and lovely.” But what’s done is done and what she tries to tell people who bring up the downbeat…
Super Bowl Snack for a Crowd: Spicy Buffalo Chicken Dip
Super Bowl Sunday is here. I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t wait to watch the G-men beat the living $@*! out of the Patriots (God, I hate Tom Brady). But before we watch the big game, I’ll need to prepare for the second most exciting act of…
All Retro Everything: This Week In Houston Rap Videos
Ah, rappers and music videos. Some are vehicles for self-promotion, others are tools used to promote a message, a gaggle of asses or some good ol’ wholesome debauchery. In the case of the Houston rap class, music videos are always eye opening glimpses into the future, either telling what a…
Legendary Composer Miles Davis Honored with Stamp
Jazz giant Miles Davis, along with immortal French chanteuse Edith Piaf, was honored last week with a commemorative stamp by the U.S. Postal Service. Davis’s image is the well-known 1970 black-and-white photograph by David Gahr which was featured on Davis’s album in tribute to Jack Johnson. Davis, who died 20…
The Tyranny of Choice: Top 5 Single-Dish Restaurants I Want to See in 2012
I was happy to read Katharine’s Shilcutt’s piece on the single-dish restaurant trend for several reasons. First, I generally love the idea of specialty shops and sometimes long for the days when grocery shopping meant going to the butcher, then the cheese-monger, then the bakery, etc., etc., rather than just…
Charles Brown, 47, Bayou Body Count No. 11
Houston police say Debra Norton, 45, shot her common-law husband early in the morning of January 13. He was hospitalized but died January 27, and now Norton faces murder charges. Police say Norton shot Charles Brown, 47, in the head about 3:30 in the morning of January 13. The incident…
A Truck Like This Killed Margaret Smallwood
Do you know anyone who drives a truck like the one pictured above? If so, you better hope they have a good alibi for their whereabouts around 6:45 p.m. December 14. That’s when the driver of a gold Chevrolet Silverado slammed into Margaret Smallwood, who was crossing the street in…
Ferris Bueller 2: What Might Have Been
With the death of writer-director John Hughes in August 2009, all hope of a truly great Ferris Bueller sequel went out the window. It was a concept that had been bandied about the whole two decades since the original’s 1986 release, with star Matthew Broderick even remarking that he and…
East Texas Army Couple Victimized By Brazen Meth Freaks
Just before 10 a.m. yesterday, Army wife Holly Burbank got a shocking phone call. No, thankfully, it had nothing to do with her husband Sam — he is now safely back in Texas after a tour of duty in Iraq. According to the Montgomery County Police Reporter, this call came…
A J Mascis Doll With Real Doll Hair? Yes Please!
The fine folks at punk toy firm Aggronautix, famous for their GG Allin and Keith Morris “throbbleheads,” have now outdone themselves, yet again, with the release of a J Mascis model, complete with real doll hair. It’s a shame that this is not Mascis’ real hair, though. That would make…
100 Creatives 2012: Viswa Subbaraman
When Viswa Subbaraman was an undergraduate at Duke University, he had no idea where he would end up. He had played trombone and violin, but music as a career to him did not seem like an option. He had come from a family of doctors and was planning on becoming…
Sampler Plate: This Week in Food Blogs
H-Town Chow Down: Uchi Houston held a media preview dinner this past Monday evening to break in the modern Japanese restaurant before it gets its public christening. Albert shares his thoughts on the new “notable Austin import” with a “stylishly rustic Japanese setting.” Eater Houston: The new restaurant beat continues…
5 Examples Why National Signing Day Is Overhyped Lameness
There’s the hat trick, where Mr. College Football Recruit (who often turns out to be a bust) tries to do the fake-out thing with which hat he’ll put on his dome; the flip-flopper who can’t make up his mind; and, if you happen to choose the Georgia Bulldogs, the token…
DA Lykos Tries to Rebut Grand Jury’s Attack
The grand jury that has been investigating whether the District Attorney’s office broke any laws regarding blood-alcohol tests from so-called “BAT” vehicles did not issue any indictments, but it went out with a bang. Jury foreperson Trisha Pollard distributed a letter, apparently backed by all the panel members, that criticized…
Tale of the Tape: LeBron James’s Alley-Oop vs Blake Griffin’s Facial (w/ VIDEO)
I wake up at about 4:15 a.m. each weekday morning to head to the studio and do my radio show on 1560 The Game (also, shameless plug, simulcast on television on Comcast 129), so many nights I go to bed before the sports world has shut it down for the…
Excuse Me, Rapper. Would You Like To Be Played On The Radio?
The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place – lots of times, you’re even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good – so once a week we’re going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Something you always wanted to…
Landry’s Plans a New Galveston Island Historic Pleasure Pier
Longtime residents of the Houston metro area will no doubt remember the Flagship Hotel. Jutting out on a pier from Galveston Island’s seawall, it was the only hotel in North America situated entirely over a body of water. Hurricane Ike all but destroyed the hotel in 2008, and it was…
Guillermo Villarreal & Leoncio Sanchez: Buying 17,000 Rounds of Ammo at Academy Stores Will Raise Eyebrows
If you live in Texas, or much of the South, you’ve probably heard the bouncy jingle “Academy Sports & Outdoors — the right stuff, the right price!” This apparently holds true if you’re in the market for a ton of ammunition to sneak into Mexico. Guillermo Enrique Villarreal, 37, of…
Noise For The Ages: Top Post-Hardcore Guitarists Through the Years
While it may not often be recognized by “mainstream listening audiences,” post-hardcore is not a dead genre. Though its popularity has often waxed and waned throughout the years since its inception in the mid ’80s, there are always great upstart bands keeping it alive. As of late, the genre has…
Melissa Rendon and Sabrina Pierce: Jailed After Christmas-Morn Hammer Attack
Harris County JailDarryl Strawberry’s life takes another sad turn…Wait, strike that. This is actually accused thunder-goddess Sabrina Pierce.Two women from east Houston’s trailer-riffic Cloverleaf section are behind bars after they allegedly used a hammer to separate a man from his wallet on Christmas Day. According to a criminal complaint, Melissa…
I’m Going To Hell For This One: NOFX’s Most Sacrilegious Songs
Aside from the blood, bruises, beer, and the bands, the one thing you could always count on punk-rock for was to provoke unpopular thought. To make you go against what polite society and your parents had taught you. NOFX has been making punkers snicker and scratch their heads since 1983,…
Bacchus Boasts an Assumption-Challenging Wine List
Have you ever told a friend, “I simply have to come see you sometime!” and then ended up saying that every time you ran into each other? And then, by the time you’re ready, or he’s ready, something has changed? Well, while “wine badass” Marc Borel was at Bacchus, I…
Distant Early Warning: Justin Townes Earle, Loretta Lynn, A$AP Rocky, Steel Panther, Big K.R.I.T.
The 71s: Sat., March 3. Continental Club, 3700 Main, Houston. A$AP Rocky: Sun., Feb. 26. Warehouse Live, 813 St. Emanuel, Houston. Adema: Sun., March 18. Scout Bar Clear Lake, 18307 Egret Bay Blvd., Houston. Alkari, The Manichean, Electric Attitude, The Wheel Workers, Super Robot Party, Featherface, Megafauna, The Dead Revolt:…
DVDs & Blu-rays: The Double and Mockingbird
The Double stars Richard Gere, Topher Grace and Martin Sheen. The Setup: Ex-spies, double agents, assassins, desk jockeys and a decades-old vendetta come together in The Double. Richard Gere is Paul, the ex-spy, and Topher Grace is Ben, the FBI desk jockey he’s paired with to find a Russian assassin…
Tuesday January 31, 2012 Deals of the Day
Today’s Houston Press Voice Daily Deal is good for 50 percent off ($35 for $70) dinner for two at Angus Grill Brazilian Steakhouse (Westheimer). “Southern Brazilian Cowboy” Airton Demoraes learned traditional butchering and cooking techniques on his family’s ranch, and he brings that experience and authenticity to the grill at…
Five of This Year’s Super Bowl Ads, Rated: Beckham’s Junk, Seinfeld’s Desperation — It’s Gonna Be a Long Sunday
Super Bowl Sunday means more talk about television ads than at any other time of the year. Companies are now leaking previews and extended versions of the ads online, meaning you can get some idea just how good/bad things will be. Let’s just say it doesn’t look promising, if these…
Some Questions About the Texas Music Awards 2012 Ballot
If you think we were flabbergasted by songwriter Bob Cheevers touting his election as 2011 Songwriter of the Year in the Texas Music Awards sponsored by mytexasmusic.com and “sanctioned” (a hedge word that appears frequently in relation to the Texas Music Awards) by the Texas Academy of Music (high fallutin’…
Stoppard’s The Coast of Utopia Part 2: Guy Roberts on the Long Arc
The most annoying and in some ways enthralling character in Voyage, the first part of Tom Stoppard’s The Coast of Utopia trilogy, is revolutionary Michael Bakunin. In fact, there are some parts of him that are so unlikeable that it was difficult at first to play him, actor Guy Roberts…
From The Sky Down: U2’s “Bittersweet Song Of Disunity”
What was the last great U2 album? Now, before you go and get your snotty Henry Rollins quotes lined up, recall that there was a period in the mid- to late 1980s when the Dublin foursome were both the biggest and most critically acclaimed band on the planet before veering…
Houston Bikers Being Harassed By an Idiot in a Honda Civic?
There may be a serial harasser of Houston bikers out on the city’s inner-loop streets. Biker Hayley Anna Jones wrote on the Critical Mass Houston Facebook page of a harrowing incident last night: [A] motorist decide to harass me. First it was honking and speeding up/ getting super close and…
Galveston’s Red Tide Appears to Have Dissipated, Oysters Recovering
On January 27, two small portions of Texas Gulf waters were conditionally opened to shellfish harvesting after a red tide epidemic forced the indefinite closure of oyster season in October. San Antonio and Espiritu Santo Bays were approved by the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department for commercial oyster harvesting, while…
The Burger Guys Open Downtown Tomorrow: Here’s the Menu (and More!)
It was an idea “sparked by a few Tweets,” says Lucrece Borrego, owner of Kitchen Incubator and its storefront bistro, Cafe Luz. Tomorrow at lunch, her commercial kitchen space located on Franklin at Travis will welcome new tenants The Burger Guys in what will be more of a satellite location…
Dry Mouth? Two Texans Have the Cure
Have you ever been “that guy” sitting in a quiet theater, watching a performance and out of nowhere you get a tickle in your throat? You try to swallow it away, but it grows and grows and all of a sudden you have a full-on coughing fit right when everything…
Geneva Espinoza: Coke in Her Panties, 3-Year-Old Running Free in the Back Seat, X, Xanax — Mom of the Year
Remember, kids, don’t litter on the highway. Especially if you’re carrying a veritable evidence room’s worth of illicit drugs, including the ol’ coke-in-the-panties trick. Geneva Espinoza, 24, found this out when a Webster cop saw her tailgating and tossing trash out her car window. When he pulled her over, according…
What Every Musician Needs: Better Shut Up Lines
We all hate the trope “Houston, we have a problem,” but we do have a problem in Houston with talkative, inattentive crowds at live shows. Scanning back over reviews from the past two years, at least 20 percent of them mention crowd noise. So what do the musicians think and,…
A Month of Chocolate: 29 Ways to Indulge
In January, we brought you a Month of Oatmeal in honor of National Oatmeal Month. That was nice and all, but February’s here. And in February, it’s all about the chocolate baby. From complimentary s’mores at a poolside bar to a Snickers beignet (is this real life?), here are 29…
Hone Your Game with Free Online Flirt Off
Your palms are sweaty, he’s glancing over your shoulder. Cue the “I have to pee,” and off goes the attractive stranger you were trying to flirt with at the bar. Real-life flirting takes practice, but there’s a free online game to help you build confidence before having to face the…
Know Your Subgenre: The Bros(tep)
Subgenre: Brostep Parent Genre: Dubstep Imagine that you’re a genre of music. You’ve been on the underground for a few years taking the sounds of your parents and evolving in to something new. For a long time few noticed but the last few years have been different. People started paying…
Channeling Carlos Cruz-Diez at Goldesberry Gallery
With the vibrant, chromatic works on paper and plastic currently up at Goldesberry Gallery, you’d think Carlos Cruz-Diez was back in town. You’d only be half wrong. This past spring, Edward Lane McCartney took a course with the Venezuelan kinetic and Op artist while he was in town for his…
Fairview Tuesdays: Neo-Soul and Cheap Booze
There was a fog advisory in effect Tuesday, but no amount of weather could hide the fact that I’m not black or a lesbian. The black thing is pretty clear, and although I have been mistaken for a woman in the line of duty, it was by a man who…
Comment of the Day: Remembering to Pee During the Super Bowl
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
App of the Week: App Shopper
App: App Shopper Platforms: iPhone, iPad, Mac Web site: AppShopper.com Cost: Free The iPhone may be good for many things — most of those may be the result of cool little apps that extend its features — but finding cool apps via the App Store is not one of them…
Pop Rocks: Everything’s Coming Up Tyrion in the New Game of Thrones Season 2 Teaser
“Power resides where men believe it resides. It’s a trick, a shadow on the wall. And a very small man can cast a very long shadow.” HBO didn’t waste any time capitalizing on Peter Dinklage’s Emmy win for Best Supporting Actor. The character of Tyrion figures prominently in this latest…
(UPDATED) John Edgar Birdwell: West U-Bred Ex-Con in Trouble Again, This Time for (Allegedly) Stealing Jewelry from Sleeping Date
FacebookWhat’s shakin’? Trouble. Again. Editor’s note: All charges relating to this case against John Birdwell were dismissed in May 2012. Let this be a lesson to all you online daters out there…Always run a records check on the people you choose to bring home, and if their name turns up…
Happy Gorilla Suit Day! 5 Music Videos for Celebrating.
Today is National Gorilla Suit Day. We’re not explaining it for you because something so magical needs neither intellectual discourse, nor to be held up against the scrutiny of skeptics who are clearly dead inside. Just accept it. Today is National Gorilla Suit Day, and all are commended to observe…
5 Oddly Positive Acts Done By Batman Villains
We recently did a piece on the most heartbreaking video game deaths, and looking back over that list we noticed something odd. Of the five deaths featured, two were out and out villains, one was at best neutral in a global good-vs.-evil struggle, one was a hero but part of…
Where Are We Drinking?
At this beloved Mexican joint, everything is made in house from scratch: from tortillas to beans, from chips to machacado. Well, everything except the coffee. I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen a coffee grinder here. Think you know where we’re drinking this week? Leave your best guess below…
4 Warnings — Your Guide to Listening to Super Bowl Week Talk Radio
Super Bowl hype week is underway, and I know that many of you will be consuming sports talk radio this week in an effort to get ready for the big game. (I know many of you won’t be, and I understand that as well. I hate me some me sometimes,…
Tilman Fertitta’s Galveston “Pleasure Pier” Will Be World-Class, Tilman Fertitta Says
Fun magnate Tilman Fertitta unveiled his plans today for turning the old Flagship Hotel pier in Galveston into a — wait for it — a “world-class amusement park for all ages.” Scheduled to open in May, the project will look (and cost) a whole lot like the Kemah Boardwalk, another…
Remember to Pee During the Super Bowl, Methodist Hospital Somehow Warns
Methodist Hospital has put out a list of warnings for what to do to stay healthy during the Super Bowl. Don’t drink and drive is one, of course. Also: People, please remember to pee. “During most sporting events people will get up and use the restroom during the commercials and…
The Sound of Flight: 6 Local Musicians That Could Announce Flights at Houston Airports
On Tuesday, Seattle-Tacoma International Airport announced that they will be launching a new program to promote awareness of music native to their region, wherein famous musicians from the area will announce safety procedures and give informational speeches on the airport. In return, the airport will play the artists’ music and…
Ike Odelugo: Concert Promoter Gets Six Years for Medicare Fraud
Aghaegbuna “Ike” Odelugo of Sugar Land is a concert promoter, we’re told, but that can be a rough business to make a buck in these days. Ripping off Medicare, however, can be a breeze — until you get caught. Odelugo, 39, was sentenced to six years in federal prison today…
Rap Round Table: Is A Video Called “Stupid Hoe” Hype Williams’ Best?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. This Week’s Panel: Bun B, TroubleSum, E.S.G., Brad Gilmore, Kyle Hubbard, Preemo, RoderickVonn, Kiotti, Zavey, D-Risha, more. Not Invited: Shonuff, the shogun of Harlem. This Week’s…
Baylor Bears Win Saint Arnold’s 5th Annual One Pot Showdown
For a university that — ostensibly, at least — doesn’t encourage drinking, Baylor turned out a hell of a One Pot Showdown team at yesterday’s 5th annual competition held at the Saint Arnold brewery. The Bears Gone Drinking team, made up of Baylor alumni in a green-and-gold tent, won the…
Saturday: Main Street Block Party at The Island
Check out our slideshow of fans and bands at the Main Street Block Party. Eric Dean had something to prove to Houston after his Montrose Winter Social flop last month. Dean did as he promised, and delivered with the 2nd Annual Main Street Block Party. The weather was great, the…
Wine of the Week: Natural Wine in Texas
As we noted in last week’s post on a new era of Nastiness and a call for civility in the Natural wine debate, it’s not easy to define exactly what Natural wine is. As Eric Asimov wrote in his weekly New York Times column, there is no official definition or…
Write for Eating Our Words
It’s that time again. Eating Our Words is in the market for some new bloggers. We’re looking for writers with interests along these lines: restaurant news and gossip, local dining discoveries, special events like wine dinners, classes and pop-up brunches, home cooking, interesting grocery story finds, gardening, and food in…
Houston’s Underground Reservoir: Five Potential Uses to Fear
The Houston Chronicle has a terrific story on an empty underground reservoir near Buffalo Bayou. The large space — about one and a half football fields — features 25-foot ceilings supported by slender columns, with entry and exit limited to a trap-door at the surface. The Buffalo Bayou Partnership owns…
Artopia 2012: See What You Missed
Check out a slideshow from Artopia at Winter Street Studios. If you weren’t at Artopia on Saturday, you missed a lot of really cool stuff, not limited to the first-ever performance by a MasterMinds Award winner (in this case, Melissa Waddy-Thibodeaux of the Buffalo Soldiers Museum performing as Harriet Tubman)…
Gothic Council Considers Proper Seduction of Metal Heads
Pretend you’re a drug dealer, or if it’s more appropriate pretend you’re still a drug dealer. If our memory of the D.A.R.E program serves us well then the key to successful drug dealing in the acquisition of new clientele through free distribution of choice merchandise. Once they’re hooked, then they…
Guys Get Gussied Up: Michael Bruggeman’s OM4Men Skin-Care Line Caters to ‘Men of the World’
There wasn’t a cloud in the sky Saturday, but inside One Green Street, Sherry Eichelberger’s organic oasis for skin, hair and fashion apparel, it was raining men. Well, men’s skincare, at least. Michael Bruggeman was the man of the hour (or two), and, aided by a spread of delicious cheeses…
Dinner For Two: A Romantic Valentine’s Day Menu
Romance is in the air…and in my kitchen. This year, my fiancé and I decided to skip our usual Valentine’s Day steakhouse special and cook an at-home meal full of flavor and passion. With mussels, steak, and shrimp, I’m sure we won’t be missing that over-priced prix-fixe steak dinner. Woo…
Bad Reputation: Beatdown at Midtown’s Saint Dane’s Leads to Warrants for Four, Including Midtown Club Co-Owner
FacebookAustin Perry Bauer: Allegedly slashed victim’s face with key.UPDATED, APRIL 27, 2012. The case against defendant Gaersen Bailey was dropped on April 25. He says he was not at Saint Dane’s at the time of the assault. UPDATED, MAY 8, 2012. Though the charges in the Saint Dane’s case against…
HPD Strikes Again: Boondocks Hit With Noise Ordinance Citations
Saturday night, as we rolled up to Boondocks (1417 Westheimer) for the H-Town Sneaker Summit Pre-Party, something felt strange. There were cop cars on Hawthorne Street, lights blazing, and police officers roaming around. We first assumed that they were ticketing illegally parked vehicles and were waiting for a tow truck…
Luck: “You Don’t Know Your Own Depth”
When word came out that David Milch was working on another series for HBO, the inevitable question arose: Would we be getting the David Milch that created the densely lyrical, critically acclaimed Deadwood? Or the David Milch responsible for the incoherent John from Cincinnati? As it turns out, Luck represents…
Top 5 Choice Bits
“Choice Bits” was my grandfather’s term for those special pieces of dishes that are inherently more delectable than the other parts. Obviously, what constitutes “choice bits” differs from person to person: my sister, for examples, likes the “skin” of heated milk. Here are my top 5 choice bits; readers, chime…
Jossue Garcia-Lopez: Man Has Sex with 12-Year-Old Girl He Met at Bible Study
If there is anywhere in the Bible that tells men to have sex with 12-year-old girls, we missed it. But the Bible is full of all kinds of crazy stuff, so who knows? And maybe the chapter and verse on “thou shalt sexually assault kids” was the subject of the…
UPDATE: Chef Jonathan Jones Departs Xuco Xicana, Soon to Be El Patio Once Again
UPDATE: Owner Jon Deal says that Xuco Xicana isn’t going anywhere right away. “It’s not closing, for sure right now,” Deal said over the phone. “If it weren’t for the staff I have on hand, I probably would close. For their sake, I’ve gotta give the location and them the…
Golden Throats: Rock Star Health Care in 2012
Last June, current radio darling Adele was forced to cancel a large portion of her North American tour, disappointing scores of twenty-something year old easy-listeners in the process. The culprit? Laryngitis — the age-old bugaboo of vocalists and recording artists. The diagnosis seemed relatively cut and dry for the British…
Mistakes Were Made at Stages: A Comedic Tour de Force
The setup: In Mistakes Were Made, virtually a one-man show, a stage producer with few resources except nerve and verbosity tries to put together a B’way version of the French Revolution, in a comedic tour de force starring local actor David Matranga. The execution: The title of this play is…
Ben Folds Five Returns: An Essential Playlist
The eight-year run of ’90s indie act the Ben Folds Five was fruitful in many ways. We got the most catchy song about a Christmas abortion ever in 1997’s “Brick”, three excellent studio albums full of snarky, romantically-challenged piano-based indie-rock, and we were introduced to one of the best songwriters…
Five Reasons Houston Is Better Than Vail
Vail is, we’re told, a jewel of Colorado and a mecca for skiers. As it turns out, we recently spent a few days there. Fear not, Houstonians: You’d much rather be living here. Think not? Here’s five reasons why: 5. Discretion Vail, this exalted ski home of the rich and…
The Value Of Being Important: How Much Would You Pay for VIP Tickets?
Very. Important. Person. For music fans those three words conjure up images of skipping out on standing in line, being at the side of the stage while the show takes place, and partying with the band backstage after the show. VIPs vacation in the world of rock excess, if they’re…
Houston Grand Opera’s La Traviata Never Catches Fire
The setup: Giuseppe Verdi’s operatic masterpiece about life and love in the demimonde of 19th-century Paris, while tastefully sung in HGO’s production, never fires up the necessary abandon nor the great passion needed to set this work aflame. We start dry-eyed, we stay that way. The execution: Borrowed from Lyric…
What’s Cooking This Week?
With last week’s menu, I was lower-carb and lovin’ it. Since I have a busy week ahead, my main goal this time around is quick and easy (but still healthy!) meals. Here’s what I’m cooking: Spicy Chicken Pita w/ Sweet & Tangy Slaw Thai-Style Chicken Lettuce Wraps Linguini w/ Tuna…
8 Things We Learned from the IFPI’s 2012 Report
The International Federation of the Phonographic Industry (IFPI) released its 2012 report this week, confirming that the music industry may finally have a reason to be cautiously optimistic about its future. The industry saw its first year-over-year growth since 2004, piracy notwithstanding. The IFPI report is a must-read for anyone…
Google Combines Services and Privacy Documents
Over the past month, I’ve gotten multiple notices from Google about an update to their privacy documentation and, apparently, it’s caused quite a little furor. As usual with any large tech company that commands so much of our data, any change is viewed with skepticism. When Facebook has a policy…
The Weird, Wonderful “A Crack in Everything” at DiverseWorks
In A Crack in Everything, the highly touted Seattle dance troupe zoe | juniper completely transforms DiverseWorks Art Space into its own dark, weird, womb-like dreamland. Granted, it’s not too hard to transport visitors to the cavernous warehouse, except here, you’re not sure where you’ve been transported at all. The…
Recipe: Homemade Caramel Corn
Ever since National Popcorn Day, I’ve sort of been on a popcorn kick. After all the savories, the Parmesan dill and Spicy Cajun, I had a hankering for something sweet. I was never a big fan of that pseudo-homemade Act II caramel corn. It was always so goopy, and the…
Comment of the Day: Mario vs. Arian Edition
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Top 5 Scathing Movie Reviews of 2011
As the February 26 Academy Awards ceremony approaches, all 2011’s best and worst movie lists have already been circulated and debated ad infinitum. But some of the year’s movie reviews have proved even more interesting than the films themselves, especially when the movies are bad. Film critics reach the zenith…
Blitzen Trapper Takes It a Bit Too Easy in New Video
We have high video expectations from Blitzen Trapper, seeing as the music video for “Black River Killer” is probably one of the most brilliant works of the last decade. So hesitation abounded when we got a note about their latest one, “Taking it Easy Too Long” from their recent album…
The Really Important Questions to Answer for the Super Bowl
So it’s Super Bowl week. This game featuring a rematch between the New York Giants and the New England Patriots. There will be a lot of story lines, real and imagined, developed and discussed before and during the game on Sunday. Like, for instance, the 25 mentioned below. 25. Tim…
Where Are We Eating?
This restaurant’s warm mushroom salad is just the ticket for anyone bored with traditional salads or vegetable preparations at other places. Here, seasonal mushrooms are sauteed and placed on a bed of sweet, roasted eggplant stuffing alongside a swipe of herbed aioli with hazelnuts. Think you know where we’re eating?…
He Said, She Said: WTF Is With Fashion These Days?
Just as it is said that writing about music is like dancing about architecture, the same can be said for writing about fashion, though we know a few fashion magazines, blogs and crazed fashionistas that would violently differ. Even still at the end of the day, it’s just fabric or…
Google Auto-Complete Answers: Why Are My Pants…
Randomly typing the start to questions into Google launches a whole host of weirdness that changes depending upon the searches people type into the search engine giant. Not only are they often interesting, but down right strange? I’ve been sampling this phenomenon lately and doing my part to help answer…
This Week in Deliciousness
Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where bright, peppy morning-show humor goes to die. We started the week off right with a look at a classy new Italian joint with the unfortunate name of Nardino. Unfortunate, that is, if you’re a perpetual 13-year-old like myself…
Texans Must Take Long-Term Approach to Free Agency
A great irony of sports in 2012, particularly sports that are fiscally governed by some sort of salary cap, is that we as sports fans have all become so emotionally invested in the performance of our teams that we’ve become more astute in “advising” management of our teams on how…
Nine Covers of “Heartbreak Hotel” on Its 58th Birthday
Exactly 58 years ago, Elvis Presley released Heartbreak Hotel on RCA Records, which had just bought his contract from Sun Records for a measly $35,000. Heartbreak sold 300,000 copies in its first week and would eventually become the King’s first certified gold record. Also, it’s worth noting that, while moving…
Houston Texans Grieving Process 3.0: At Least We’re Not This 49er Fan
It’s been a couple weeks, but perhaps some of you are still smarting from the Texans’ loss to the Ravens ending their two-game playoff run. As I expressed from the day after that game, there are lots of ways to cope with a loss, but to me the best way…
Running on Empty: Robbery Suspects Busted When Getaway Car Runs Out of Gas
In the recent critically acclaimed movie Drive, dreamy heartthrob Ryan Gosling plays a stunt driver by day and a getaway driver by night. He has some simple rules that the crooks hiring him must follow. For example, there is a very narrow window of time when Gosling’s character will remain…
Anna Bolena at Opera in the Heights: Spellbinding
The setup: They’re not called soap operas for nothing. For decades these overripe melodramas may have been steady fare on daytime TV, but they can definitely trace their parentage back to the Romantic opera houses of Italy, with the bel canto (“beautiful singing”) works of Bellini, Donizetti and Rossini as…
Somehow, Red Bull Has Become Very Important To Underground Rap In Texas
A white guy, two black guys and a Mexican walk into a club. Harharhar. This coming Wednesday, February 1, Warehouse Live will host the inaugural show of the Red Bull Skooled tour. (If you’ve any concerns about the validity of the relationship Red Bull has rap, you’re encouraged to read…
Abe Fiszer: Houston Fire Department Captain Resigns After Kiddy Porn Bust
According to a criminal complaint on file in the Harris County Courthouse, Saul Abraham “Abe” Fiszer, an 18-year-veteran of the Houston Fire Department, had been struggling with pornography addiction for some time. He and his wife had been working through it, and Fiszer had sought counseling. Unfortunately, Fiszer allegedly kept…
Upcoming Events: Kick It With Kombucha and Go Greek
If you don’t like kombucha, I promise that it’s only because you haven’t tried Kickin Kombucha. I’ve turned many a hater into a convert with the brew, which just so happens to be made right here in Houston at the Kitchen Incubator downtown. I mention this because Kickin Kombucha is…
The Lion Of The Blues: Happy Birthday Bobby “Blue” Bland
Today marks the 82nd birthday of Hall of Fame blues man Robert Calvin Bland, better known as Bobby “Blue”. In a case of being “in the right place at the right time”, Mr. Bland was born in Rosemark, Tennessee in 1930, then moved to Memphis at eighteen to begin his…
Nigerian Child Witch Hunter Visiting Houston for “Marathon Deliverance”…and Folks Are Pissed
Former steamrolling NFL running back Christian Okoye isn’t The Nigerian Nightmare, according to folks like Deana Holmes. Self-proclaimed witch hunter Helen Ukpabio is. “Not sure that we need to have this crap where little kids are accused of being witches that need to be prayed over and exorcised,” writes Holmes…
Chef Chat, Part 3: Roberto Castre of Latin Bites Cafe – New Cebiches and More
Chef Roberto Castre of Latin Bites Cafe knows what it means to work hard. The last two days, he shared the details of how he worked up the ranks after graduating from culinary school in Peru, and then opened up his first restaurant within weeks of undergoing major surgery to…
Project Runway All-Stars: For Gourmands Only
This week on Project Runway: Michael wallows in a lack of self-confidence, even after a win. Hey! There’s no immunity — did we notice that before? Gelato colors and flavors serve as inspiration for this week’s challenge, to design something “tasteful.” Diane von Furstenberg is the guest judge. When Diane…
Daniel P. Morgan: New Caney Navy Corpsman in Camp Pendleton Brig for High School Bomb Threat
A Navy corpsman stationed at California’s Camp Pendleton will be serving several more months in the base brig after he pleaded guilty in a court-martial to one charge of unauthorized absence and one charge of disorderly conduct. According to Hair Balls’ Orange County sister blog Navelgazing, Daniel Morgan, 22, hails…
Last Night: Mutemath at House of Blues
Let’s get something straight right off the bat: Mutemath is not a Christian band. Sure, the band members are all lifelong Christians, but the New Orleans-based act sued their label, Warner Music Group, in 2006 for breach of contract and negligent representation when their debut EP Reset was released by…
The Water Line: The Week in Photos
It’s time again to check out the Houston Press Flickr Pool and see what kinds of art shots our talented photographers have added. We love street art, unique perspectives and beautiful photos of Houston’s creative community. If you think you’ve got a good eye, drop your pictures in the pool…
The Natural Wine Debate Gets Ugly
“Natural wine is wine to which nothing has been added,” said the leading advocate of Natural wine in the U.S., Alice Feiring, when she visited Texas in October 2011 to promote her new book Naked Wine: Letting Grapes Do What Comes Naturally (Da Capo 2011). She was speaking at an…
Looking Ahead: Rockets Hold Off on Re-Upping Lee, 2009 Rookies
The Houston Rockets announced this week that they would not exercise their option to extend the contracts of guard Courtney Lee and the four rookies from the 2009 draft, center Hasheem Thabeet, forward Jordan Hill, guard Johnny Flynn and guard Terrence Williams. The Rockets had the option available to extend…
Cactus Releasing Buxton’s Strange Five Days Early At Tonight’s In-Store
Houston’s own Buxton gets their moment in the sun in the next few weeks as their debut album for New West Records, Nothing Here Seems Strange, gets wide release. But the band’s home store, Cactus Music, will be releasing it tonight five days early during the band’s in-store, set for…
Openings & Closings: The Difference Between Ruggles and “Ruggles”
As 2012 gets up and running, restaurants have hit the ground running. This week’s round-up includes two expansions, a few openings and a couple of noteworthy closings. Expanding into downtown as promised, The Burger Guys finally announced its new location this week: Kitchen Incubator. The burger men will be occupying…
Via The Great Eatlon, The Handshake Arrives
Each Wednesday (or Thursday, if the guy that was supposed to be interviewed disappears like a gypsy), Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group “Artist of the Week,” bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that…
Etsy Closes Azreal’s Accomplice. Cites Policy Infringement
Tracy Robertson, better known as Batty, is an internationally known model and goth fashion designer. She has been making high-quality, hand-made spooky clothing since 1998, being based in her hometown of Houston until recently moving to Fort Worth, where she lives with her boyfriend and fellow Gothic Council member Toby…
Value Added: Arian Foster vs. Mario Williams
The Texans are facing an offseason unlike any other they have ever seen in their ten years of existence. For the first time ever, General Manager Rick Smith, Coach Gary Kubiak and owner Bob McNair have to figure out how to keep together a very good lineup of players and,…
Ragin’ Cajun Jo-El Sonnier Plays Nutty Jerry’s Saturday
Nutty Jerry’s in Winnie has been doing a great job bringing in legacy acts like Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee Lewis, Guess Who, Mickey Gilley, Ronnie Dunn, and Blood, Sweat and Tears. But the club really got our blood pumping when they booked the Cajun wildman, Jo-El Sonnier, who plays the…
Not Your Food Court Chinese: Lunch at E Tao
After a long day of fighting the crowds at the Galleria, my dining companion and I were left tired and hungry. Katharine Shilcutt’s first look at E Tao and the sheer convenience of not having to leave the mall to get what I was craving sealed the deal. I wanted…
Free for All: Art Without a Price Tag
Join us later today when we pop into the opening reception for Sandy Ewen’s Pop Up Art Show. This is the first solo art show for the woman who many know as an improvisational musician and who we recently named one of our 100 Creatives 2012. The work is a…
Reviews For The Easily Distracted: The Grey
Title: The Grey What Exactly Is “The Grey?” The movie’s title could refer to either the bleak Alaskan weather conditions, the alpha wolf stalking the downed plane’s passengers, or the pervasive helplessness felt by one contemplating suicide. Sounds Cheerful. Put it this way, I wouldn’t watch The Grey after a…
Comment of the Day: De-Funkification Edition
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Eric Dean Talks Main Street Block Party, Montrose Winter Social
I recently spoke to local show promoter, Eric Dean, who you may remember from the much maligned Montrose Winter Social or may already know him as he has tackled multi-venue events such as Main Street Block Party, Prideapolooza, and his July 4th party at Numbers with success. He’s gearing up…
Bring It On: Now with Behind-the-Scenes Flips on Video
Our intrepid Art Director Monica Fuentes went behind the scene to film the cheerleaders rehearsal for Bring It On: The Musical. As our reviewer said previously, this is a show filled with flips and dips and all sorts of top rank death-defying feats. And the athletic stars who perform these…
Bartender Chat: Eddie of Julia’s Bistro
After passing by many times on the way to or from Big Top or Continental Club, I finally hopped the Metro to visit Julia’s, the Latin-fusion bistro at the corner of Main and West Alabama. It was 5 p.m. on Tuesday when I walked through the vibrant dining room, grabbed…
Week in Photos: Battleship Texas
Each week, we take a dip into the Houston Press Flickr pool and see what our talented photographers have been up to. We’re looking for pictures that represent the best of Houston, from food to art to events, to secret hidden spots of beauty. Just drop them in our Flickr…
12 Celebrity Chinese Zodiac Signs Explain All
This week the Chinese community parties hard to celebrate its Lunar New Year. The Chinese New Year is spread out over a 15-day period and the Houston version is jam packed with traditional merriment. Two thousand twelve marks the year of the Dragon, which is said to be one of…
Aeros Soar into All-Star Break
John RoyalJon DiSalvatore setting the example on the ice.The no doubt about it leader of the Houston Aeros is Jon DiSalvatore, the 30-year-old captain in his third season with the team. He’s the go-to-go guy for information after the game. He’s the unquestioned locker room leader. He’s the team’s leading…
Taylor Swift Continues Goth Transformation in Hunger Games Track
It started out as a joke, you know? Chris Gray threw us a curve ball and said, “Taylor Swift is coming to town. Do something with that, you little eyeliner-wearing fangster.” Well we did sit down and listen to the young country superstar, and to our surprise we discovered that…
100 Creatives 2012: Emily Sloan
What She Does: Pebbles. Lampshades. Naps. Emily Sloan will pretty much work with anything. The sculptor and performance artist has left her mark on a number of fleeting but still lasting moments on Houston’s cultural landscape in recent years (her Funeral Party for the Living at 14 Pews early last…
The Rest of the Best: Houston’s Top 10 Burgers
For the next 20 weeks, we’ll be rounding up the runners-up to our 2011 Best of Houston® winners. In many categories, picking each year’s winner is no easy task. We’ll be spotlighting 20 of those categories, in which the winner had hefty competition from other Houston bars and restaurants. Houston…
Anna Bolena: Behind the Scenes at Opera in the Heights
The show hasn’t even opened yet (the first performance is tonight at 7:30 p.m.), but we’re completely in awe of these photos of the dress rehearsal of Anna Bolena over at Opera in the Heights. For one thing, we’ve always been obsessed with the sordid tales of Henry VIII’s many…
Brandon Larue Jackson: Serious About Face Ink, Charged with Murder
There is commitment to your tats and then there is COMMITMENT! In the case of Brandon Larue Jackson, the man is serious when it comes to his ink. Unfortunately, he is also being accused of the shooting death of Casey D. Read on July 7, 2010. The 26-year-old Jackson was…
No More “Wild Thing” For the Troggs
Lonesome, Onry and Mean was sad to learn via Chuck Prophet’s Facebook page this morning that Reg Presley, lead singer of Sixties proto-punkers the Troggs, has been diagnosed with lung cancer. The Troggs are known primarily for their 1966 hit “Wild Thing.” LOM was a sophomore in high school when…
Before We Cared: 10 Bit Players Who Became Superstars
On this day in 1965, British songstress Petula Clark reached number one on the charts with “Downtown,” a pop classic with an unforgettable hook that has become a mainstay of oldies radio, film soundtracks and TV advertisements in the years since. The song even served as a plot point in…
Hammer Time: The Social Network Actor Busted at Border for Pot Brownies
The Texas border is a rather notorious place when it comes to drugs and people trying to cross into the United States carrying them. In fact, both Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg were busted in the exact same location, Sierra Blanca. Traditionally, these drugs are found in the vehicle of…
Artopia: Find the Dog in Street Art at Our Party
Under cover of night, Houston’s anonymous street artists have been toiling away in secret at Winter Street Studios, building the most amazing collaborative mural of street art Houston will have ever seen. If you’re a fan of Cutthroat, Shreddi, Ack!, 2:12 or any of Houston’s other street artists, you want…
Georgia’s Market Opens Downtown Tomorrow: Get a Sneak Peek Today
Rick and Georgia Bost aren’t new to the grocery game. Their flagship store, Georgia’s Farm to Market, has been a wild success since taking over the old Sandy’s space in West Houston more than two years ago. The Bosts kept much of the Sandy’s model in place: organic foods, bulk…
Why 50 Cent Should Consider Retirement
InterscopeI was in college when Get Rich or Die Tryin’ dropped. You couldn’t go anywhere without hearing “In da Club”– house parties, techno clubs, AA meetings, everywhere. My friends used to sit around and debate 50’s feud with Ja Rule. Anyone brave enough to take Ja’s side was ridiculed to…
Pawn Stars: Thieves Nab Hundreds of Guns in String of Robberies
When I watched the full video seen in the screen capture image above, I thought two things. First, I thought, “Wow, that is a brazen commission of an alleged crime I am witnessing on the Internet. How…brazen!” Secondly, I thought, “Every cop show on television lies to me!” Because, look…
Brew Blog: Stone Vertical Epic 11.11.11
I love it when I have a beer so gripping, so immediately compelling, that I have to go out and buy more of it immediately. When I took the family out for a DEFCON dinner at the Queen Vic recently, that’s exactly what happened. I don’t think it was a…
Travelin’ Band: What Do The Features Listen To On The Road?
So The Twilight Saga has exactly two things that keep the films from being absolute torture. The first is Ashley Greene in all her pixie-hotness, and the second is that there really are some excellent bands that end up on the soundtracks. Case in point, the Features were featured recently…
State Sues to Close Midtown Convenience Store; Is City Trying to De-Funk Midtown?
Acting through the Harris County Attorney’s Office, the State of Texas is suing the Fannin Food Mart and the property’s landlord, Jae Kim. The state claims that the property is a public nuisance and neither Fannin Food Mart’s registered agent Azeem Ali Noorani nor Kim have done anything to abate…
Ten Bands From the ’00s Underground That Should Consider Reuniting
All right, so they haven’t been broken up as long as the bands in April’s excellent look at ’90s underground bands who should get back together. We still miss ’em. You know how it is: you get to remembering that album you loved from a few years back and think…
Health Department Roundup
The Health Department posted reports on only about 50 places in the past week, and not one of those places got stuck with a citation or closure. Reminds us of when Kelly Kapowski’s dad got laid off from his job at a defense contractor because world peace broke out (it…
The Big Miracle: Drew Barrymore Movies Are Actually Great
Drew Barrymore’s latest movie, Big Miracle, a stirring tale in which John Krasinski, Ted Danson, Dermot Mulroney and Kristen Bell work to save the lives of two whales, debuts nationwide on February 3. Dinner tables everywhere are already erupting over how cheap and gimmicky it looks, with certain people slyly…
Update: MUG Looks To Make Bricks Out Of Crumbs On New Mixtape, Money and Pain, At 1 P.M. Today
Update: After a slight delay, Money and Pain has been made available. Download it here. That’s MUG, the bruising fullback of the Boss Hogg Outlawz. Were you to place the members* of the BHO on an identity scale based on their characteristics and rap attributes (raptributes?), MUG would fall right…
And We Have Our Winners …
Four lucky winners were chosen for The Divide swag. The first-place winner, Jennine L., receives a full-sized film poster signed by star Michael Biehn and a four pack of horror videos by Anchor Bay Studios (the unrated director’s cut of Hatchet; the unrated 2010 version of I Spit on Your…
Chef Chat, Part 2: Roberto Castre of Latin Bites Cafe, On Opening His Restaurant After Kidney Donation Surgery
Yesterday, we talked to Latin Bites’ Executive Chef and Owner Roberto Castre about his long and winding road to settling in Houston. Today, he tells us the story of how Latin Bites came into being. EOW: You, your sister Rita, and her husband Carlos are partners, tell me the history…
Victoria Jackson Responds, Claims Feature Profile Was Lies Written by a Socialist
Responds is probably the wrong word to use when you consider the long rebuttal Jackson wrote regarding Gus Garcia-Roberts profile on the former SNL cast member that ran this week in Village Voice publications including the Houston Press. Jackson claims that Garcia-Roberts wrote things that were false, but she went…
The Roots Of Lionize: From Miles Davis To Led Zeppelin
It’s hard to find a band that reps Miles Davis in the same breath as much as they do Led Zeppelin, but Lionize are that band. Recording in Jamaica with Steel Pulse’s Sidney Mills, supporting beardos like Kylesa, Clutch, and cKy? Yes, that’s Lionize for you. Opening for Maylene &…
George Mitchell: Huge Bond for Man Accused of Stealing 11 Pregnancy Tests from CVS
At first blush, even for East Texas, land of high bail, $404,277 seems like an exorbitant bond for a guy who was initially arrested for stealing 11 pregnancy tests from a Lufkin CVS. However, that odd theft is not all 26-year-old George Melvin Mitchell is on the hook for. Far…
Dragon Dances & Dumplings: Where to Celebrate the Lunar New Year
This past Monday marked the first day of the Lunar New Year, the auspicious year of the dragon. In the Chinese zodiac, the dragon is revered as the mightiest of all 12 signs: It’s a divine beast that brings with it power, abundance, and good fortune — all things that…
Dallas Roberts Talks About The Grey
The Grey stars Liam Neeson, Dallas Roberts and Dermot Mulroney; Joe Carnahan directs. It’s a long way from Houston to the Alaskan wilderness, especially when you have to go by way of Florida and New York. Actor Dallas Roberts, who called Houston home until he was 16, found his way…
5 Musicians Who Changed Their Names to Inspire Jim Crane and the Astros
This week, the new owner of the Houston Astros Jim Crane opened Pandora’s Box of Hearty Suggestions For A Struggling Franchise and discussed changes to the team. Cheap beer (yay!), cheaper seats (double yay!) should be one of the first things but Crane suggested that the Astros do the unthinkable…
Shut Up! Four Ways to Temporarily Block People You Follow on Twitter
There are times when we all want people to just shut the hell up. This is even more true online, where people often seem to say things we could never imagine them saying in person. The problem is magnified when your list of “friends” expands from the people you actually…
Heidi Klum and Seal Videos That Will Make You Even More Sad About the Break-up
Since the news of Heidi Klum and Seal breaking up after seven years of marriage hit the Internet, you’ve probably been listening to this song a lot. Seal built Heidi an igloo when he proposed on a ski vacation, for God’s sake, and the couple renewed their vows more times…
Chocolat d’Arte Hits the Road with Devilish Delights
After a great deal of planning, faith and up-front investment, Chocolat d’Arte has driven into Houston’s burgeoning food truck scene with a new, spotless van. Rich graphics laden with photos of some of the chocolates on offer adorn the sides. Entrepreneur and artisan chocolatier Nancy Burke, of Chocolat d’Arte, has…
Houston Grand Opera Announces Its Next Season
Expanding to include a seventh opera, a gung-ho Houston Grand Opera today announced its upcoming 2012-13, which will include four new productions. Without further ado, here’s the season: Puccini: La bohème* October 19 – November 10, 2012 Rossini: The Italian Girl in Algiers* October 26 – November 11, 2012 Song…
App of the Week: Pandora vs. iHeartRadio
If you haven’t been paying attention, a very tiny little war has been brewing over access to the ears of people who like to listen to radio online or on their smart phones. I say it’s a tiny war because, at the moment, it is. While many of us who…
Kerry Beyer Goes Across the Universe Without Leaving Home in Music Video
Every time we get a new song or video from Kerry Beyer it is just plain weird. Not the videos themselves, but the fact that these acoustic accomplishments are coming out of one of Houston’s best and most acclaimed horror film directors. Oh well, a man’s got to have layers…
Wine Whine: Waiter, Please Don’t Chill My White Wine (Too Much)!
You can imagine how thrilled I was when I discovered one of my favorite northern Italian white wines on the list the other night at Giacomo’s Cibo e Vino on Westheimer: The 2010 Anas-Cëtta (Nascetta) by Cogno for under $40. (The name of this rare grape is Nascetta, pronounced nah-SHEHT-tah…
Fashion Is a Series of Tubes: Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week, February 9-12
Fashion Week is almost here! Held semiannually, the February Fall/Winter shows are just two weeks away, but if you’re like us you are ready now. The excitement of the February show is heightened by its position in the middle of award season, when our appetite for gowns, jewels and accessories…
Comment of the Day: Astros Name Change Edition
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Pop Rocks: Go, Go (Buy) Godzilla on Criterion Blu-ray
Rihanna was the original subject of today’s Pop Rocks. Specifically, her apparent downward spiral into self-delusion/destruction following the news that she had “THUG LIFE” tattooed across her knuckles as well as reports she’d gotten back together with Chris Brown, the model citizen who pled guilty to felony assault after beating…
Three Things We Learned from Mexico’s Win Over Venezuela at Reliant
Check out our slideshow of fans and dives during the Mexico vs. Venezuela game. To get a feel for Mexico’s game against Venezuela last night at Reliant Stadium, one only needed to watch the last 25 minutes. Seriously… the previous 65 minutes only produced one Venezuelan goal. Mexico found the…
30 Seconds With Wayne Static
Through a tenuous link across a magical force that some people call “the Internet” we connected with Wayne Static of Static X, now out promoting his awesome new solo album Pighammer, to see what we could learn of the man in 30 seconds. Rocks Off: What is worst song in…
The Mice and Men of Disney: 5 Heroes Who Never Get Their Due
Like most adult people, we didn’t really pay attention to the world of Disney. Whenever a new film came out, we briefly acknowledged whatever story they’d chosen to animate and then moved on with our day. Now we have a daughter, and like most parents you start getting into Disney…
Chutzpah and Cat Cora on Top Chef: Texas
I still don’t have DVR, but I do now have a refurbed Roku box from Woot, which is nice. I mention this because any single episode of Battlestar Galactica that you can stream from Netflix is a million times better — no hyperbole here, I really mean a million times…
Ravi Coltrane Quartet
Let’s get it out of the way right up front: Yes, Ravi Coltrane is the son of saxophonist John Coltrane and pianist Alice Coltrane. Yes, they were both legendary musicians. Yes, by rights, the younger Coltrane could just ride their coattails to fame and fortune. And no, he hasn’t. The…
“Houston Press Artopia 2012″ With Young Mammals, DJ Kyle Berg, Dave Wrangler, Folk Family Revival, Finnegan
Along with the usual food, art and beautiful people carousing at Houston Press’s Artopia, we always manage to rustle up a great musical lineup. This year we have Folk Family Revival, Young Mammals, Dave Wrangler, Finnegan, and DJ Kyle Berg on deck for your aural pleasure. Things are getting exciting…
John Caparulo
John Caparulo is pretty damned funny. The angry little man in a hat won our hearts during his appearances on Chelsea Lately, where he’s a regular roundtable contributor. When he isn’t fawning over Dog the Bounty Hunter and other offbeat characters, he jokes about unpopular topics, like the benefits of…
Trinity Jazz Festival
Here’s what’s wrong with most jazz festivals — they don’t feature jazz. They have lots of R&B, maybe some blues and, as the ultimate offense, pop music, but no jazz. Not so at the 11th Annual Trinity Jazz Festival, which walks the straight and narrow. All jazz, all the time…
Movies Houstonians Love: Tangshan dadizhen (Aftershock)
Think of Sophie’s Choice in Mandarin. Oh, and with everyone involved surviving. Now you have some idea of the basis for Tangshan dadizhen (Aftershock). The epic film, made in 2010 by director Xiaogang Feng, is the heart-wrenching story of one family caught in the 1976 earthquake in Tangshan, which claimed…
La Traviata
When Albina Shagimuratova was 12 years old, she heard a recording of Maria Callas singing the role of Violetta in La Traviata. “I was crying. I was really deeply moved by her singing,” she tells us. “That’s how I started to love opera, but I never thought I had a voice.” That…
FantaSea Valentine’s Day Cruise
Surprise that someone special with a FantaSea Valentine’s Day Cruise aboard a 177′ luxury yacht. The evening includes a two-and-a-half-hour cruise through Galveston Bay while party-goers dance the night away as a DJ spins romantic tunes. Dinner choices include salad, stuffed portabella mushrooms, crab soup, prime rib, Lobster Thermidor, stuffed…
Romance Under-the-Sea Five-Course Valentine’s Dinner
Keep it low-key when you spend Valentine’s Day at the Kemah Aquarium’s Romance Under-the-Sea. The ballroom will be filled with intimate tables for two, for amorous couples wanting to enjoy an elegant meal and some live jazz music. The evening’s five-course menu features roasted quail, seared scallops, prime rib, and…
Mistakes Were Made
For the entire 90 minutes of the comedy Mistakes Were Made, actor David Matranga is alone onstage. He plays Felix Artifex, a producer wrapped up in working a deal involving a Hollywood star, a Broadway playwright and a problem with a truckload of sheep. He talks to other people by…
Sundance Film Fest USA: Bachelorette
The Sundance Film Festival, headed by megastar Robert Redford, is one of the most popular in the world. But everyone can’t make it out to Utah for the screenings, so the festival is exporting some of its treasures to various cities, giving everyone a chance to see some of the…
Disaster Ball
When the Mayans predicted the end of the world, they probably didn’t foresee the apocalypse being used as the theme for an annual arts gala. That’s what the Fresh Arts Coalition, along with online art publication Glasstire, has done with the Disaster Ball, their ninth annual “anti-gala” fundraising event. It’s…
”Snail Mail”
Over the years, the staff at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston has received thousands of photos with notes scribbled on them. Some were just a few words long; others were full-length letters. Some were correspondence about upcoming exhibits, others just friendly notes. One untitled image, by Greta Pratt, shows…
Giacomo’s Cibo e Vino Valentine’s Day Four-course Dinner
Lynette Hawkins, owner and executive chef for Giacomo’s Cibo e Vino, has the perfect recipe for romance – a four-course prix-fixe dinner that includes salmon and caviar on toast for starters, followed by ravioli stuffed with cheeses and greens, then a grilled steak served with peppery arugula. To finish things…
Fratelli’s Five-Course Valentine’s Dinner
Fratelli’s Italian Restaurant is serving up the love with a five-course meal for Valentine’s Day. Known for its authentic taste, Fratelli’s is dishing up a romantic menu including bruschetta with chopped mushrooms, prosciutto and melted fontina cheese for an appetizer; baked tortellini with three cheeses for the first course; and…
Nardino Ristorante Three-Course Valentine’s Dinner
“There is no better way to say amore than with wine, great food and song,” says Edgar Ciliberto, the owner and chef of Nardino Ristorante. His restaurant will be offering a special three-course dinner on V-Day as well as musical entertainment by guitarist Rodrigo Gamboa. Nardino’s Valentine’s Day menu will…
Real eState
In 21st century America, having kids means having a bunch of crap in your house. Stuffed animals start piling while they are still in utero; your kid still has gill slits and has already received enough bunnies, ponies, doggies, elephants and monkeys to fill a 50-gallon oil drum. Then there…
Capsule Art Reviews: “New Formations: Czech Avant-Garde Art and Modern Glass from the Roy and Mary Cullen Collection,” “New Paintings: Geoff Hippenstiel,” “Perspectives 177: McArthur Binion,” “Peter Massing: Time After Time,” “Sherrie Levine: Selected
“New Formations: Czech Avant-Garde Art and Modern Glass from the Roy and Mary Cullen Collection” Avant-garde Czech erotica, anyone? “New Formations,” an assemblage of early 20th-century Czech work collected by Mary and Roy Cullen, presents some pretty wonderful things: everything from glassware to periodicals to the aforementioned erotica. And like…
Dance, Dance, Revolution
“You just have to get crazier” were the words of advice mighty choreographer Pina Bausch once gave to one of her dancers, who fondly recalls the moment in Pina, Wim Wenders’s soaring 3-D tribute to the woman who revolutionized the art with her tanztheater (“dance theater”) — and who died…
Wayne Static
Wayne Static’s life reads like a how-to for the perfect rock star. Start young and cute, winning talent contests playing “Skip to My Lou”? Check. Rise to prominence with a hard, loud sound and an unusual haircut? Check. Marry a pornstar? Check. All kidding aside, the front man of Static…
Groveling and the Gentry
Dear Mexican, It’s so sad to see your wimpy answers. Your replies scream self-hatred and self-shame for your raza. You’re pathetic! No plan or desire to fix Mexico’s problems. You’re a puto with no huevos. My DREAM Act would be that you Mexicans would stop groveling to gringos, and scream…
Drew Kennedy, Walt Wilkins, Jason Eady, Josh Grider, Susan Gibson, The Trishas
Venerable southwest Houston tonk Firehouse Saloon hosts six “Texas music” acts for an acoustic showcase similar to KIKK-FM’s Ten Man Jam series. All of the acts are currently enjoying success on the circuit. With ties going back to the early Dixie Chicks, intelligent songwriter Susan Gibson is, in some respects,…
Bad Mommy
In Lynne Ramsay’s We Need to Talk About Kevin, Tilda Swinton lives out an urban bohemian’s worst nightmare. Forced to give up her independence (and downtown loft) when a reckless night with schlubby photographer flame Franklin (John C. Reilly) results in accidental pregnancy, free-spirit travel writer Eva becomes an unhappy…
Twin Sister
Following the success of 2010’s Color Your Life EP, Twin Sister dropped its full-length debut, In Heaven, last fall. It quickly became a favorite among music critics and fans alike. When the group released “Bad Street,” the first single off Heaven, the ’80s-inspired electro-funk track quickly became a late-summer anthem…
Capsule Stage Reviews: Deadly Murder, I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change, Motel Tropicana, The Temperamentals
Deadly Murder This murder mystery combines suspense, humor, attempts at drawing-room comedy, bizarre twists, violence and sturdy actors in an unlikely medley offering something for everyone. The play opens as middle-aged but in-shape Camille Targus (Cheryl Tanner) emerges from the bedroom with muscular Billy (Adan Inteuz), younger than she by…
The 2nd Annual Main Street Block Party
The Main Street Block Party is returning for seconds this afternoon and evening at The Continental Club, The Big Top, and The Mink’s front and back rooms. Armed with another great lineup, featuring Austin’s What Made Milwaukee Famous and Dallas’s hardcore cataclysm Power Trip as headliners, the daylong festival had…
The Features
The Twilight Saga has exactly two things that keep the films from being absolute torture. The first is Ashley Greene in all her pixie-hotness, and the second is that there really are some excellent bands that end up on the soundtracks. Case in point, the Features were featured recently in…
Mac and More
Take a look around Jus’ Mac’s cramped but cute dining room. I don’t know why it’s never occurred to me to combine a Frito pie with macaroni and cheese. Nor would I have thought merging the dishes — two of my own idolized comfort foods — would taste so wonderful…
Tea Party Princess
• Check out our video, Victoria Jackson is CRAZY (about America) • Also see Victoria Jackson’s response to this story. Victoria Jackson hurtles through intersections and down side streets while using her left hand to hold a Flip cam to her face. The inside of her car — a weathered…
Houston Press Artopia
Along with the usual food, art and beautiful people carousing at Houston Press’s Artopia, we always manage to rustle up a great musical lineup. This year we have Folk Family Revival [see “The Family Way,” page 37], Young Mammals, Dave Wrangler, Finnegan [see Chatter, page 40] and DJ Kyle Berg…
Texas vs Florida
Check out our interactive website of the crazy-ass crimes perpetrated in both states, and see how Texas stacks up to Florida. It’s the ultimate showdown: Which state has the crazier criminals, Texas or Florida? Both claim to lead the nation in dumb/horrifying/hilarious perps, but only one can rule. So we…
Scale the Summit
Scale the Summit is well on its way to becoming the second instrumental prog-rock band from Texas to really take off. Much like Austin’s Explosions in the Sky, which earned the ears of countless fans and critics on the Friday Night Lights soundtrack, this Houston-based four-piece has received acclaim from…
The Family Way
The Folk Family Revival’s debut album Unfolding blew away everything we’d understood about folk music. Mason Lankford, the band’s main monster, is a young man who has already grasped more of the world than most grizzled songsmiths. Backed by the rest of FFF — Mason’s brothers, Barrett and Lincoln Lankford,…
A Nerd Is Forever
Based on Lloyd Kaufman’s 1984 cult-movie classic, the musical version of The Toxic Avenger arrives at the Alley, revamped somewhat and with additional songs, after its long Off-Broadway run. It brings broad humor, compelling music and top-drawer acting with it. The story line in the musical follows the movie pretty…
MasterMinds 2012
In its fourth year, the Houston Press MasterMind Awards process gathered in more of everything, as we continued to discover things about our area and its creative leaders. As before, some of the winners come from applications sent in, while our in-house review panel contributed other names of artists they…
Finnegan and Friends
No doubt if you have been following the Houston music scene for the past two years, you know the sound of Finnegan, a loud, folky six-piece with roots in the Heights and Montrose. The band’s playing Houston Press’s annual Artopia party at Winter Street Studios this weekend. Singer and guitarist…
Montrose Mythology
There are people that like to talk about tango, and then there’s Lionel Meyer. Meyer, a 43-year-old computer scientist, discusses the subject with delicate insight, like a father talking about his son or Ron Jeremy holding forth on his penis. When asked how long he’s been dancing, Meyer responds that…
