Dublin Dr Pepper Officially No Longer Exists, But Cane Sugar-Sweetened Dr Pepper Still Does
The bitter, extended legal battle between the 120-year-old Dr Pepper plant in Dublin, Texas and its parent company, Dr Pepper Snapple (DPS), has finally been resolved. At issue were the liberties that the Dublin plant had taken both with its distribution and merchandising, as the plant had long sold its…
John Parr Pays Tribute to Tim Tebow with Tebow-centric “St. Elmo’s Fire” Lyrics (w/ VIDEO)
In his brief NFL career as the starting quarterback for the Denver Broncos, Tim Tebow has pulled off several feats that border on the miraculous — a 7-1 run in his first eight games as their starter this season, numerous late-game comebacks, and a win over the PIttsburgh Steelers in…
Trite Wedding: 5 Ceremony Song Suggestions That Aren’t Your Usual Crap
Rocks Offs day job is as a clerk in a sheet music store, and this is the time of year when a lot of people start coming in to buy sheet music for their weddings. Frankly, it’s one of the most monotonous parts of the job. 99 percent of the…
Tom Stoppard’s The Coast of Utopia Opens at Main Street Theater
Main Street Theater Executive Artistic Director Rebecca Greene Udden says she loves the work of playwright Sir Tom Stoppard — “his ideas and his language and the way he’s able to articulate complicated ideas in such eloquent ways.” Undaunted by the fact that Stoppard’s Tony Award-winning trilogy The Coast of…
Did Your Car Flood Out? You May Still Be Waiting for a Rental & an Adjuster
Monday’s incredible flash storm left a lot of cars underwater to one degree or another. Being underwater is not good for cars. It can lead to moldy smells from sodden rugs and upholstery to mysterious problems with the electrical system, problems that might not be immediately apparent. But when a…
Chris Gray Day: Auction Items and a Special Deal from Live Nation
With the Chris Gray benefit just a few days away, news is flying fast and furious. We told you yesterday about the addition of Hayes Carll to the artist line up and gave you a rundown of every artist on the bill. Today, we have news from Live Nation. Live…
Keep On Truckin’: Pi Pizza Truck
There’s something very appropriate about the fact that Pi Pizza’s truck, dubbed Pythagoras, is stationed outside Catbird’s nearly every night. The back of the truck reads: “Pizza. Tattoos. Whiskey. Rock ‘n’ Roll.” The latter three of those are found in spades inside Catbird’s, the Montrose bar best known — by…
Eric Dowlen: Cops Say He Assaulted Two Dudes with Pit Bull
FacebookEric Dowlen: A boy and his pit.Nassau Bay cops say a man assaulted two neighbors with a deadly weapon — namely, his pit bull terrier. According to a criminal complaint and published reports, 33-year-old Eric James Dowlen sicced the pit on a 21-year-old man and a 16-year-old boy with whom…
Happy 2012!: Nickelback, Bush, Seether Hitting Houston June 2
Batten down the hatches, light a candle, make a voodoo doll out of human hair, and pray to whatever deity you subscribe to, because her comes the concert announcement of the year, one that may very well rip the space-time continuum in Houston into a million shreds. As you can…
With a Rebel Yell: 10 Rockers Gone Country
When Staind singer Aaron Lewis rolls into Verizon Wireless Theater tomorrow night, odds are he’ll leave his mudshuvel back at the hotel. As modern rock radio turns to the next generation of angst, the former Fred Durst protégé is trying his hand at country. His debut single as a solo…
Our Rockets Season Preview: Ready For Some More Mediocrity?
It hasn’t been making a lot of waves here, given the excitement over the Texans’ playoff games, but the NBA season has begun. Of course, if you’re a Rocket fan, you know what that means: A team not good enough for the playoffs but not bad enough to get a…
Samba Grille and Its Chef, David Guerrero, Are About More Than Just Steak
A few months ago, I watched as mouth-watering photos of ceviches and tiraditos and steaks and seafood came marching through my Twitter stream. They were all from Samba Grille, where the downtown steakhouse with a strong South American twist was doing a media tasting. The photos from my friends attending…
Annise Parker Orders City to Support Texans in Grimmest Picture Ever
The pure joy of an NFL playoff run is captured here in a photo by KTRK’s intrepid Miya Shay. “Mayor @AnniseParker says Friday is #GoTexans day. Urges all to support @HoustonTexans, wear team colors,” Shay tweeted. We can’t say for sure, but it looks like there will be stern penalties…
Travi$, Our New Favorite Artist, Crawls Around Inside His Own Brain, Finds Bloody Fingers
World, meet Travi$. Do not dismiss him because he used a dollar sign instead of an “S” in his name. Give him a chance. It’ll take four minutes (though we’re suspecting if you let the video play for more than 0:30 and it doesn’t push you into a seizure, you’ll…
The Addams Family Resurrected in Gleeful Fun
The set-up: Don’t ever bury the body before checking the pulse. After the savaging The Addams Family suffered in New York after its premiere in April 2010, who knew there was life left anywhere in it? But there is, and the touring production, after a major reworking, is like seeing…
Top 5 Places to Carbo-Load in Houston
Houston marathon runners, you’ve trained long and hard (I hope) in preparation for running 26.2 miles this coming Sunday. Now, it’s time to eat. A lot. Although carbo-loading has its critics, many aspiring endurance athletes still swear by the practice. Sure, you can eat your weight in bagels and whole-wheat…
The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption Give-away
Love the Scorpion King series? We do, too. And we’ve got two just released Blu-ray / DVD / Digital Copy combo packs of The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption to give away to a couple of lucky Art Attack readers. The combo pack comes with lots of extras, including…
Health Department Roundup
Watching the New Hampshire Republican debates got us thinking feeling that maybe all this regulation nonsense is just preventing local restaurant owners from realizing their full economic potential. On the other hand, what would happen to our China’s hairnet industry if health departments were put out of business? And a…
Red Hot Chili Peppers Reschedule Houston Date Due To Anthony Kiedis Injury
And just like that, to anyone who was fretting about missing the Red Hot Chili Peppers at the Toyota Center to see ZZ Top on March 8 at RodeoHouston, your problems have been solved. And mine too, since I wanted to see both bands. RHCP have announced a new date…
Lawsuit: Dr. Michael Brown Gave Me Herpes
A woman has sued former hand doc Michael Brown for allegedly knowingly giving her anal and vaginal herpes. Filed in a New York County court under the pseudonym “Chris Stevens,” the lawsuit claims that Brown was already taking medication for herpes while he was seeing a businesswoman he met in…
Reality Bites: Extreme Couponing All-Stars
There are a million reality shows on the naked television. We’re going to watch all of them, one at a time. The only thing I could tell you going into something called Extreme Couponing All-Stars is “couponing” isn’t a word. I’ve got those annoying red underlines all over this entry…
Rick Perry Nearly Doubles Buddy Roemer’s New Hampshire Vote in Impressive Show of Strength
The Rick Perry juggernaut continued to lay waste to GOP primary opponents, neatly dispatching former Louisiana governor Buddy Roemer in Tuesday’s New Hampshire primary. Perry grabbed 1,735 votes in the Granite State, almost doubling the 920 votes received by Roemer, who had been perceived as the front-runner (in the Roemer…
20 Years of Hip-Hop Soul Hits: Happy Birthday, Mary J. Blige
Every time we hear a new Mary J. Blige single on the radio, we ask ourselves, “REALLY, MJB? Again? OK, girl.” We literally said that in the car last week when we heard her new single “Mr. Wrong.” Of course, the proclaimed “Queen of Hip-Hop Soul” has never given us…
Top 5 Worst Foods To Take to the Gym
As a self-confessed “gym rat,” I have come to appreciate my fellow patrons who exercise good sense, especially with regards to food and drink in the workout areas. There is no explicit rule banning, say, eating limberger cheese, in the aerobic studio but (most) people at my facility understand without…
Mac Miller Lyrics in Meme Form
As long as Mac Miller has been hot, we’ve been under the assumption that he only has shine because his indie labelmate Wiz Khalifa scored a radio hit. No one can actually like this dude because he raps well. No one could’ve possibly followed his career since the release of…
Fast Times: Fork in the Road at Montrose H-E-B
I’m small but I have a big appetite, so I will admit that this week’s Fast Times was basically eaten as an appetizer for the dinner we were heading home to make. I have a terrible habit of going to the grocery store hungry, and it got the best of…
Dead Celebrity Pen Pals, a Top 5 Wish List
Last week, worlds collided when the famous New York auction house Christie’s sold a letter dating back to 1957 for $33,600. Why did it sell for such a hefty sum of money, you ask? Because it was a letter written by Jack Kerouac to Marlon Brando pleading with him to…
Comment of the Day: To Hell in a Handbasket
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Texans Fans: 5 Reasons to (Try to) Hate Baltimore
The Houston Texans travel to Baltimore Sunday for the biggest game in franchise history, a game that could take them to the AFC championship. So we need to build up a big hatred of Baltimore, right? Turns out that’s not so easy to do. Five reasons to hate Baltimore and/or…
Jersey Shore with a Brit Accent:The Only Way Is Essex
In the event you are a Jersey Shore fan who recently got hooked on Downton Abbey and now requires more English accents in your television programming, there is a show for you. Hailed as a “guilty pleasure” by both Hugh Dancy and his wife Claire Danes, English reality show The…
Bryan Ray Roe: Repeat Sex Offender Allegedly Assaults Autistic Boy, 9
Talk about every parent’s nightmare…Police in Coryell County say that a nine-year-old autistic Abilene boy was molested at a rural Central Texas bluegrass festival. Charged with the crime is registered sex offender Bryan Ray Roe, a parolee from an earlier sex offense. Roe, 33, allegedly lured the boy away from…
Eyeballin’ – The Rolling Stones: Some Girls Live in Texas ’78
In the multi-fractured musical landscape of time, even “the world’s greatest rock and roll band” found themselves in a precarious position in 1978. Joe Strummer and the Clash had declared “No Elvis, Beatles or Rolling Stones in 1977,” and subgenres like punk, funk, disco, new wave, reggae, and even early…
100 Creatives 2012: Wade Wilson
What He Does: You might not know the term “concrete painting.” It’s a style that eliminates all representation and focuses solely on the color and form of the surface. (Think Joseph Marioni or Jill Moser.) It’s also the style that captured the imagination of former art critic and art history…
Sampler Plate: This Week in Food Blogs
Wine Enthusiast: The talented Sean Beck, beverage director at Backstreet Cafe, Trevisio and Hugo’s (and our own Best of Houston® winner this year for Best Sommelier), has been recognized for more than just his wine skills by Wine Enthusiast. The magazine paid tribute to his notable bartending chops as well,…
Texas’s Sonogram Law Gets New Lease on Life
The Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals struck down the temporary injunction on Texas’s so-called sonogram law, clearing the way for abortion providers to enforce the new mandate. The law, championed by Senator Dan Patrick, requires a sonogram whenever a woman seeks an abortion. The law requires the woman, in almost…
Bobby Hebert Is Not a Fan of LSU Coach Les Miles’s Conservative Game Plan (w/ VIDEO)
Predictably, the BCS National Title game was, to use my good friend Jim Ross’s phrase, “bowling-shoe ugly.” Monday’s game between Alabama and top-ranked LSU featured lots of hard hitting on defense, lots of mistakes on offense, and a few field goals. In fact, until Trent Richardson scored a touchdown late…
30th Anniversary of “The Catch”: 5 Other Great Catches in Sports
Thirty years ago today, Dallas Cowboy haters — in other words, every right-thinking person in the world — rejoiced when Dwight Clark of the San Francisco 49ers made what has gone down in history as The Catch to put the dagger in the Cowboys’ title hopes. It’s widely regarded as…
Chubster: Losing Weight the Hipster Way
I was prepared to dislike Chubster the moment it landed on my desk. A hipster’s guide to losing weight? While staying cool? Oh, fer Christ’s sake. Hipsters — like bacon — are everywhere these days. Diet books are everywhere these days, too. ‘Tis the season for New Year’s resolutions and…
Stacy Shey: Dr. Brown’s Alleged Stripper Ex Says He Spent $60K/Month on Gal Pals
Attention hot twenty-year-old strippers: Have you ever wondered what it’d be like to date a famous Houston doctor? Namely, one who pledges to treat you “like family”? Well, according to one gal we spoke with, it’s quite the gig. Our peek into the dating life of former hand surgeon/man-about-town-now-that-his-GPS-ankle-bracelet-is-off Michael…
Chris Gray Day Finalized Schedule
The lineup is finally set for this Saturday’s concert benefitting Houston Press music editor Chris Gray and it’s a doozy. Tomorrow, we’ll give you a rundown of all the silent auction items and you’ll be even more impressed. For now, let’s focus on the bands. The bonanza of bands gets…
4 Fictional Rainstorms That Royally !@#$-ed Someone’s Day
If you’re like us you woke up yesterday thinking that you’d set your alarm for the wrong time because the sky outside was as black as Satan’s colonoscopy. The clouds had that look your drunken uncle gets when someone argues with his political views, and then the heavens opened up…
Tunnel Explorer: Star Chef Dumpling House
In the battle for downtown dumpling supremacy, there can be only one. For years, the hotly debated rivalry has stood at a relative impasse between Doozo and Baoz, each with its own adherents, locked in a timeless struggle for dumpling immortality. None had risen to even attempt a challenge. Until…
Killer Elite DVD/Blu-ray Combo Pack Giveaway
Robert De Niro, Clive Owen and Jason Staham star in Killer Elite, a film that Roger Ebert called “Diabolically clever! Impressive!” The DVD was released today and you know you want it. You can get it here for free, just by entering our über-easy contest. We have two DVD/Blu-ray/digital copy/Ultraviolet…
Brandy Fonteneaux: Houston Soldier Found Nude, Stabbed to Death in Colorado Barracks
A Houston soldier was found dead in her Colorado barracks Sunday morning, nude and stabbed to death. The Army says Spc. Brandy Fonteneaux, 28, a food service specialist in the 4th Engineer Battalion at Fort Carson, had served in the Army for over two years. “Special Agents from the U.S…
Refused Are Not Fucking Dead, Playing Coachella
Holyshitholyshitholyshit. As if the news of the At The Drive In reunion wasn’t enough, Refused is back. The trailblazing hardcore band that called it quits in 1998 have reassembled and in a statement on their site, confirmed that they’re playing Coachella as well as the Way Out West Festival in…
Deals of the Day for January 10
Enjoy a hip, sophisticated atmosphere while saving 50 percent on sushi at Zake Sushi Lounge is this week’s Voice Deal of the Day from the Houston Press. Zake is offering up $24 worth of delicious food for just $12; in addition to sushi and Japanese cuisine, the menu includes dishes…
DVDs & Blu-rays: The Action Packed Edition
Sinners and Saints stars Sean Patrick Flanery, Johnny Strong and Tom Berenger; William Kaufman directs. The Setup: Sinners and Saints is filled with hard-faced men. And bullets. Lots and lots of bullets. Johnny Strong (The Fast and the Furious) is a post-Katrina New Orleans cop who finds himself in both…
Hayes Carll Added To Chris Gray Day Schedule
Today we have added boss hoss country artist Hayes Carll to the Chris Gray Day festivities, coming this Saturday at the Continental Club. Carll was last in Houston on December 30 for a whip-crack set, with Robert Ellis and Shovels And Rope opening for him. He goes on at 6…
Distant Early Warning: Delta Spirit, Cursive, George Clinton, Hot Chelle Rae, Orgy, Youth Lagoon
American Sharks: Sat., Feb. 25. Fitzgerald’s, 2706 White Oak, Houston. The Black Belles, Black Tabs: Sun., March 18. Warehouse Live, 813 St. Emanuel, Houston. Bobby Bare Jr.: Wed., Feb. 1. Continental Club, 3700 Main, Houston. Buxton, Marmalakes, Featherface: Sat., Feb. 4, 8 p.m., $8.00. Fitzgerald’s, 2706 White Oak, Houston. Casting…
On Repeat: McArthur Binion at CAMH
Almost immediately upon descending the stairs at CAMH for its new show, “Perspectives 177,” it becomes clear that McArthur Binion has a very distinct way of doing things. The first clue is the repetition of geometric shapes — triangles, squares and circles — varying only by color. Upon closer inspection, you…
Money Cat Brunch Raises Money for OKRA
It’s Sunday morning, just 15 minutes shy of 10 a.m., and already, a small line had formed as I entered Paulie’s on Westheimer for an encore of Chef Justin Yu’s popular Money Cat Brunch pop-up. A fundraiser for the newly formed OKRA (Organized Kollaboration on Restaurant Affairs) non-profit, the event…
Bodacious G. Neal: Punches, Threatens and Shoots at Baby’s Mother During Two Alleged Holiday Assaults
Talk about a guy who fails to live up to his name: If two criminal complaints are to be believed, as a beau, Bodacious Gerraud Neal is anything but. Police say that on Christmas Day, the 21-year-old Klein man argued with the mother of their baby as she was attempting…
Matmos Playing Houston for the First Time
Matmos, the Matador Records-signed electronic music duo that has done work for Björk, has never performed in Houston. The person responsible for making the group’s debut show in town happen? An expat living in Germany. A few years ago, dancer Ayman Harper — a graduate of the High School for…
Keep On Truckin’: Pad Thai Box
I like the continuing trend of Houston’s food trucks increasingly accepting credit/debit cards. Pi Pizza Truck, The Rice Box, Ladybird, and now Pad Thai Box all take your plastic, happily. Any last excuses you really had about “never carrying cash” fly out the window, leaving you free to explore some…
The Art of Cutting Up Comics: “and everything in between” a Beautiful Deconstruction
Every artist has an inspiration, and for Curtis Gannon, it’s comic books. But unlike many artists with their muses, Gannon doesn’t fawn and fret over his brainchild; instead he takes a pair of scissors to it. “and everything in between,” the latest exhibition of his work, will be on display…
Comment of the Day: The Dangers of Washington Avenue
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Jon Black Dreams Up Five Collaborations The World Needs
The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place -lots of times, you’re even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good- so once a week we’re going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Have something you always wanted to ask…
Top 5 Most Disturbing Children’s Food Mascots
The holidays had me visiting many, many relatives, many of whom are under the age of 10. I had a wonderful time hanging out with my nieces and first cousins once removed, but invading their domestic spaces, especially their kitchens, has alerted me to the darker side of children’s cuisine…
Get Smart: Free Online Courses at Ivy League Schools
A little over a week into the new year, and dinner was half a an entire chocolate orange. But you’re not the late Jack LaLanne; it’s your mind that is your temple. While you’re editing your list of self-improvement goals and resolutions for 2012, it might be motivating to know…
Five on Five: Fender vs. Gibson, Who Had the Better Players?
For guitar players, it’s an age old question: are you a Fender guy or a Gibson guy? Over the years since both companies became popular in rock music, many other guitar manufacturers have made inroads, but none have been able to surpass the power and tradition of these two giants…
Ayman Harper Returns to Houston with Matmos
Thanks to dancer Ayman Harper, Matmos will perform for the first time in Houston this weekend. All it took was for Harper to miss a concert by the popular Matador Records-signed electronic music duo that has done work for Björk. A few years ago, Harper — a graduate of the…
Bare Bowls Are Remarkably Filling at New Food Truck
On a gorgeous, unseasonably warm Thursday in January, the new Bare Bowls truck made its debut in back of The Menil Collection building. Despite the fact that it was its first day out, it didn’t lack for customers. A crowd that averaged five people persisted during our visit. Bare Bowls…
Tomball Cop’s Shoulder Broken After She Stops Backseat Teen Sex
Ask a cop about their most dangerous types of calls and you hear about drug raids, boozy domestic disputes and armed robberies. Seldom if ever have we heard of “catching two teenagers bonking in the back seat of a Honda Civic” as the type of call cops dread, but one…
Top 5 Ways to Clean Out Your Colon: Detoxing Debunked
By now you have either disregarded your New Year’s resolutions with a long list of very convincing reasons (I actually enjoy being unemployed) or you haven’t even started them yet. If cutting back on the excess was on your list of things to do in 2012, it’s certainly not too…
Pop Rocks: You’re Not Fooling Anyone, Downton Abbey
A quick survey of my friends’ status updates on Facebook Sunday night confirmed what I’d suspected for weeks: 200% of them were watching something called Downton Abbey. Season 2 just debuted on Masterpiece Classic on PBS, you see, and people responded with an enthusiasm usually reserved for when some members…
Pop Rocks: I’m On To You, Downton Abbey
A quick survey of my friends’ status updates on Facebook Sunday night confirmed what I’d suspected for weeks: 200 percent of them were watching something called Downton Abbey. Season 2 just debuted on Masterpiece Classic on PBS you see, and people responded with an enthusiasm usually reserved for when some…
Emma Jean Hardy: 57-Year-Old High School Employee Caught Sexing Student in Van
Port Arthur police say they caught Emma Jean Hardy, a 57-year-old employee of the town’s Memorial High School, having sex with a 17-year-old student in a van Sunday night. According to published reports, a Port Arthur cop investigated a suspicious vehicle parked on the city’s très romantique seawall near downtown…
10 Bands We’d Rather See in 3D Than Metallica
Metallica recently announced that they would be releasing a film in 3D. Whether or not we’re talking a concert film, something more along the lines of Some Kind of Monster, or a different approach entirely they haven’t confirmed. Still, it seems most likely that they will follow in the footsteps…
Deadly Murder from Theatre Suburbia: A Pastiche of Contradictions
The setup: A murder mystery combines suspense, humor, attempts at drawing-room comedy, bizarre twists, violence and sturdy actors in an unlikely medley offering something for everyone. The execution: While the audience must suspend considerable disbelief to enjoy this hybrid melodrama, just think what suspension the three actors must have had…
Where Are We Drinking?
The thyme-sprigged cocktail below was a mere $5 during this new Montrose restaurant’s nightly happy hour, and it features an ingredient not usually seen in cocktails: sake. And with that clue, you should be able to easily guess this week’s Where Are We Drinking? by now. Leave your best guess…
The Five Most Annoying Tweeters During a Sporting Event
When the Texans were putting it to the Bengals on Saturday, the streams of twittering Houstonians were likely filled with posts about the game. Like people who tweet during any live event, there were insightful moments, irritating moments and downright stupid moments. Reading Twitter was like going through a gauntlet,…
Texans, Tebow and BCS Titles! This Weekend’s 4 Winners and 4 Losers
All right, this is starting to get ridiculous, football gods. First, you knock out Arian Foster for the first three games of the season with a hamstring injury. Then you rob us of Andre Johnson not once but twice with injuries to each hamstring, forcing him to miss most of…
Luis Alberto Dorante, 23, Bayou Body Count No. 3; Hit by Drunk 19-Year-Old Speeding in SUV on Washington Avenue, Cops Say (UPDATED)
A 19-year-old woman speeding down Washington Avenue in a Suburban killed a man and has been charged with intoxication manslaughter, Houston police say. Luis Alberto Dorante, 23, was leaving one of the bars along the popular strip about 1:40 a.m. Saturday when he stepped out into the street in the…
Sunday Funday Showdown: Pub Fiction vs. Blackfinn American Grille
After an entire season of Sunday Fundays enjoyed watching football (and cursing loudly as Sanchez throws yet another interception), I am ready to report back on my findings. Each Sunday, you can find me and a group of rowdy friends either occupying a large booth at Pub Fiction or huddled…
Rap Round Table: What Are We To Think Of Rick Ross’s New Mixtape, Rich Forever?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. This Week’s Panel: Bun B, Slim Thug, Z-Ro, Killa Kyleon, A.D.D., Roderickvonn, Onehunnidt, Kyle Hubbard, YS, hasHBrown, Medicine Girl, Kyle Hubbard, more. Not Invited: Big Meech…
Texans Getting Dumber: More Are Playing the Lottery
In these tough economic times, there’s no greater financial plan than putting your money into a game where the odds of winning are relatively microscopic. Right? Apparently that’s what a lot of Texans think: This year, for the first time in ten years, there has been an increase in people…
Rocks Off Picks The GOP Theme Songs
Now that the Iowa Caucus has narrowed down the field a bit, we would like to take this opportunity to offer some advice to the remaining candidates for the Republican nomination to vie with president Obama in the November election. What you guys need is some catchy theme songs, and…
Your Guide to Gothic Drinking
As Houston Press’s resident goth, back-cracker, and hydroponist, we remain the expert on all things dark and spooky. Also, as a writer we can assure you that we know a thing or three about drinking. They say that the answer isn’t in the bottom of a bottle, but we have…
Happy 99th Birthday, Richard Nixon: Great Pop Culture Nixons
Today Richard Nixon would have turned 99 years old, though he passed on to the big country club in the sky back in April 1994, at the age of 81. His wife Pat passed on the year previous, and Nixon was active until the end of his life, still making…
This Station Is Now Operational: At The Drive-In Is Reuniting. Finally.
With the beginning of a Twitter account and an official website, heavily influential El Paso-based rock act At The Drive-In has announced their reformation today. What the future will hold for the group, which splintered into the Mars Volta and Sparta after their 2001 split, is anyone’s guess. SXSW? Coachella?…
Iron Men: Five Rock ‘n’ Roll Cancer Survivors
Sad news emerged today that heavy metal godfather Tony Iommi has been diagnosed with the early stages of lymphoma. It was a big shock for Black Sabbath fans, as the group’s original lineup have a new album and a world tour planned for 2012. Though already counted among rock and…
And the Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy Contest Winners Are
We’ve picked the lucky winners of the Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy prize package, which comes complete with T-shirt, spy pen, a copy of the novel, a full-size poster, and, of course, tickets to the film. Congratulations, Madi T. and John K.! Keep reading Art Attack for more prizes, ticket giveaways…
Cork Controversy @ Eating Our Words
Friday’s post on moldy corks seemed innocuous enough. But my proposal that we discuss cork taint and other wine fitness issues quickly led to a heated comment thread. Eating Our Words blogger Nicholas Hall maintained that “cork sniffing” is “myth/bullshit” while Houston wine blogger Tom Gutting, author of From the…
UPDATED: Gravitas Closes Unexpectedly Over the Weekend
UPDATE: Liquid Gold Hospitality emailed its response, which can be found at the end of this post. The building at 807 Taft once housed the original Antone’s Famous Po’ Boys & Deli. By 2005, it had closed and reopened as Gravitas, owned by talented chef-turned-restaurateur Scott Tycer and manned by…
Municipal Court Giving You a Break Because of Floods
The weather has made getting around town a dubious prospect, one you shouldn’t undertake unless it’s necessary. You’d normally think “due in court” would qualify as necessary, but Houston’s municipal courts are giving you a break. If you’re supposed to be in court today, you can reset your case. The…
Low Down: Do Bands Need Bass Players Any More?
Growing up in the ’80s, there was a concern on the part of drummers that they would be replaced by drum machines. No one thought that every drummer in every band would be swapped out with a box, but spots in all sorts of projects normally reserved for a guy…
Don’t Pass Over Peter Massing’s Powerful Paintings at Nau-haus Art
The big talkers at Peter Massing’s new Nau-haus Art show are his involved carvings — wood blocks with images of tricksters and wizards carved into them — and their resulting red, blue and green ink prints. It’s understandable; the poppy prints are fun to look at and compare the block…
Comment of the Day: Sexing Horses Is Not What We Meant
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Dick Wray Retrospect Explodes Onto the William Reaves Gallery
A year ago this month, prolific Houston painter Dick Wray passed away of complications due to liver illness. To honor the man who was known as one of the founders of the Houston art scene, the William Reaves Gallery is showcasing select works in its current exhibition, Explosive Color/Dynamic Paint…
The Bacon Backlash: 10 Things Bacon Does Not Make Better
When — on New Year’s Eve — I jokingly suggested that 2012 would be the year of the Bacon Backlash, our Twitter followers were not amused. “Why are cupcakes ‘it’?” asked @Ruhama613. “Carbs are the debbil. Mo’ Bacon!” Said @T_Tow: “I will defend the bacon!” And @CynicalHouston simply responded: “My…
Otenki Releases Music Video For “Ghosts”
Today is a big day for Houston six-piece Otenki, who are releasing their new music video for “Ghosts” off their sophomore album Kinetic via YouTube. Rocks Off got the chance to chat with guitarist/band manager Enoma Asowata over the weekend to get the scoop on the new video, the support…
The Weather Outside Is Frightful (with Photos)
You wanted rain, you’re getting it. You’re also getting a reported tornado touchdown in Fort Bend County and flooded service roads and intersections. Power is out in some areas of the city; others have lost internet service. Reports coming in from TxDOT and various tweeters indicated impassable conditions at such…
Jessica Schneider: Houston Soldier Goes to Afghanistan, Learns Carpentry
You learn a lot of things in the Army. For Jessica Schneider of Houston, it was carpentry. Schneider is a corporal in the 127th Military Police Company, currently stationed at Forward Operating Base Andar in Afghanistan’s Ghazni Province. The women in the company were assigned tiny, bare rooms in the…
2012 RodeoHouston Lineup Features ZZ Top, Train, Kid Rock, John Legend, Enrique Iglesias
The Houston Livestock And Rodeo continues it’s march it’s non-country waters with today’s musical announcement, with Houston’s own ZZ Top (March 8), Train (March 16), Kid Rock (February 29), John Legend (March 2), and Enrique Iglesias (March 6) topping the pop and rock segment of this year’s bill. On the…
What’s Cooking This Week?
Last week’s Red Chicken Chili hit the spot. I’m still not sure which way I liked it better; in a bowl topped with a dollop of low-fat sour cream or in a whole wheat soft taco with some homemade guacamole. Either way, I felt good eating it knowing exactly what…
Uncle Vanya by Classical Theatre Company: Gentle, Hilarious and Sad
The setup: Throughout theater’s long history, Anton Chekhov wrote the most famous gunshot. It happens at the end of Act III of this most gentle, hilarious and sad play (1899) and ushers in the 20th century with a disruptive comic violence that still amazes. Every character in this marvelous comedy/drama…
And Boom Goes the Prudential Building (Implosion VIDEO)
It lasted almost 50 years, but that’s too damn long for a Houston building. The Prudential Buidling, which a while back was imaginatively renamed the Houston Main Building, returned to dust Sunday through a planned implosion. It had been falling apart — sinking one side at a time — the…
7 Ways to Fail at Online Music Promotion
So you want to be a rock star? Cool. Well, there’s this thing called the Internet. You see, the Internet is like the giant beanstalk in Puss in Boots. Take the right steps and it’ll get you all the way to the top. You might even find a magical goose…
Top 5 Podcasts You Should Be Listening To
Every couple of weeks, someone on Facebook inevitably poses the question, “Which podcasts should I be listening to? Not This American Life.” It’s the second most frequent post after “I lost all my numbers. Text me ur cell.” If you are one of these curious people, or have a friend…
Skinnygirl White Cranberry Cosmo
Although I feel distaste for Bethenny Frankel, I did recently purchase the newish White Cranberry Cosmo from the Skinnygirl cocktails. I told myself I was not being a hypocrite because Frankel sold the franchise to Fortune Brands, which then independently created this particular low-calorie drink. Having never sampled the Skinnygirl…
The Astros Lead the “Crazy Sounding Job Title” Standings; Six More to Consider
Most of you have probably been paying attention to the Houston Texans, what with them actually making the playoffs for the first time in team history. But there are other professional sports teams in this city, and one of those teams made some front-office moves last week, moves that will…
Welcome to Winter in Houston: More of the Same in Store
In August and September when we in Houston are suffering through brutal heat and humidity, there is a tendency for people from here to bemoan the hot Texas summers and for our friends in the northern part of the country to brag about 75-degree summer highs. In those months when…
Reality Bites: Hoarding: Buried Alive
There are a million reality shows on the naked television. We’re going to watch all of them, one at a time. Are you not entertained? The overwhelming majority of reality shows — like, for example, Ghost Adventures — positively beg for ridicule. The participants usually run the gamut from amiable…
Ten Awesome Tweets Celebrating the Texans Playoff Win
There’s nothing like playoff victory to get the juices flowing…or the fingers typing. As with most things these days, when it happens in real life, it will be reported shortly thereafter on Twitter. When the Texans defeated the Bengals for their first ever playoff win, it came as no surprise…
Beyonce’s Baby Shower: Celebrity Gift Suggestions
With every gossip site on the planet reporting that Beyonce has given birth to Blue Ivy Carter just yesterday, Rocks Off suddenly realized that we haven’t gotten her a thing! While we make a quick Target run, we thought it might be fun to ponder what sort of gifts Beyonce…
Where Are We Eating?
During playoff season, there are few better places to watch the game while downing some cold beer and hefty cheeseburgers than at this old-timer. Does the burger below look familiar? Leave your best guess in the comments section below…
Bring It On: The Musical — Complete With Stunts & Cheers
Last time out, playwright Jeff Whitty put foul-mouthed puppets on stage and won a Tony for Avenue Q. So why go from that to Bring It On: The Musical (soon to be at Houston’s Hobby Center courtesy of Theatre Under the Stars), spun off from the 2000 movie starring Kirsten…
Texans 31, Bengals 10: Andre Johnson’s Return Sparks Offensive Revival
Andre Johnson was poised to assume the role of feel-good story in any Texan playoff win, regardless of how it came about. Nine seasons of brilliant play that (until now) had been overshadowed by team-wide failures can have that effect. For the first time in months, though, Houston’s star receiver…
J.J. Watt & Pacman Jones Lead Texans to First Playoff Victory Ever
A packed, loud and raucous Reliant Stadium crowd saw the highlight of rookie JJ Watt’s life as the defensive lineman’s incredible pick-six led the Texans to a 31-10 playoff win. Equally helping Houston’s cause was Bengals corner Pacman Jones, who was comically burned on a TJ Yates-to-Andre Johnson TD bomb…
Five Spot: The World’s Ending? Nah, Bro. Here’s What’s Going To Happen In 2012, Guaranteed.
Well, the first week of 2012 is done, which, duh, means it’s time for everyone to begin putting together their Best Of 2012 lists. We’re working on ours already. Some doozies are included this time (75 Best Songs With Titles That Have The Letter “F” In Them; 31 Best Albums…
Landon Collins: High School Recruit Chooses Alabama and Pisses Off His Mom (w/ VIDEO)
On Monday night, LSU will face Alabama for the second time this season for the whole ball of wax, the BCS national title. While it’s unprecedented for the two teams to face each other twice in the same season on the field, they battle each other multiple times daily in…
Texans: Reliant Stadium Is (Almost) Ready for Its Playoff Close-Up
Texans officials gave a tour to show their preparations for tomorrow’s big playoff game. Things are going relatively smoothly, including a new field, but there have been some snags. It looks like things will be camera-ready come Saturday afternoon, though…
You Won’t Believe the Mugshots on the ETX Grinches Who Stole $20K Worth of Foster Kids’ Toys
Back in early December we brought you an awful story about a group of thieves breaking into a storage space and making off with $20,000 worth of toys that were supposed to be placed under the Christmas trees of East Texas foster children. This week Longview police have found what…
Four Local Bands to Keep an Eye On in 2012
At the tail end of 2011 these bands seemed to be popping up on bills more and more frequently. And it looks like they have no intentions of slowing down. Now, some of y’all grumps out there might just see them as competition, but not me, I look forward to…
Late Night Safety Tips in the Wake of the Esme Barrera Murder
It’s been pretty well documented how big of an impact the passing of Esme Barrera has had on not only the Austin community, and not only the state or region, but on the nationwide live music scene as a whole. There are planned benefits all the way out in her…
Gigantour Hitting Houston March 2 With Motorhead And Megadeth
And just like that, my normally non-soiled jeans were not. Yes, March 2 the traveling metal bonanza Gigantour is hitting Houston’s Verizon Wireless Theater, with Megadeth, Motorhead, Lacuna Coil, and Volbeat in tow. Are we excited? A little. Kind of a fan of Motorhead fan and all. Megadeth last came…
Dude Leads Cops on High-Speed Chase in Dukes of Hazzard Car; Arrested While Taking A Shower
Houston police have arrested an unnamed man after he led them on a 120 mph highway chase in an orange Dodge Charger right out of Dukes of Hazzard, KPRC reports. He had a good reason for doing it, Fox 26 says: Police say the suspect admitted he drove the Charger…
Upcoming Events: Charity Brunches and Breakfasts and Even a Charity Banh Mi
A round of applause for the Money Cat Brunch, please: It’s having an encore performance this Sunday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. at Paulie’s. Says the press release: “All of your favorite delicious Money Cat shenanigans from the original limited service put on by Justin Yu, Justin Vann, Ecky…
Elvis Presley’s Graceland: A Peek Inside With My Crappy Cell Phone Camera
A few weeks back I went on a Mid-South trip through Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, and sadly, Arkansas. Along the way I followed the Mississippi Blues Trail as much as I could, before hitting Memphis and Sun Studios and Graceland, and moving on to Nashville for a whole new set of…
Name in Lights…Diary of a “Mad Fat” Woman Transcends Gender, Sex at Obsidian Art Space
The setup: Juliana Wathen offers up, with appropriate choices of “liberation” songs, a one-woman show that charts the progress of a plus-size woman into acceptance, poise, confidence and charm. The execution: A comma can make all the difference in the world, so please note that the protagonist is “mad fat,”…
Yoga Fuel: Kenny & Ziggy’s Potato Pirogen
Finding something light enough for a pre-yoga meal at Kenny & Ziggy’s Delicatessen is quite a challenge–it’s a huge menu, and the portions themselves are also huge. Even the salads are impressive in size, and so delicious that it’s hard to stop eating even when full. I recently found myself…
Cirilo Castillo Jr: Accused of Multiple Counts of Horse Sex
If the comment sections of Rio Grande Valley newspapers are any indication, Hidalgo County is regarded as something of a rustic backwater by its more urbane neighbors. Stories like this one sure can give a stereotype like that some legs. Yesterday afternoon, 41-year-old Cirilo Castillo Jr. was arraigned on two…
Week in Photos: Art 2012
Each week, we take a dip into the Houston Press Flickr pool and see what our talented photographers have been up to. We’re looking for pictures that represent the best of Houston, from food to art to events, to secret hidden spots of beauty. Just drop them in our Flickr…
Flying High Again: Five-ish Guys That Made the Flying V Famous
There are few instruments more distinctive than the Flying V. It’s odd that a guitar this funky looking has been commonly used by a wide range of guitar players from country and blues to rock, but it has. Over the years, particularly in the ’80s when “the weirder the shape…
Wine Time: Moldy Cork (Is Actually a Good Sign)
Have you ever removed the top of the capsule from a bottle of wine to find mold on the top of the cork (as in the photo above)? It happened to me over the Christmas break when I opened a bottle of Brunello di Montalcino for one of our holiday…
Dig This: Mantis, Pelviq Thrust, Super Robot Party, Mikey & The Drags, Trio Musette
The current volume of local music is staggering. New Houston bands are born daily, and all too often pass away just as quickly. Rocks Off wants to help you (and ourselves) keep up. It’s a new year, one sure to be loaded with new Houston music, bursting at the seams…
Texans, Saints and Tebow! This Weekend’s NFL Playoff Best Bets
So is Houston ready for some playoff football? How about we go through the Reliant Stadium checklist for Saturday’s game with the Bengals to find out. Notifications to season ticket holders to be in their seats 30 minutes before kickoff? Check. Colored placards in seats so fans can hold them…
Sherrie Levine: Worship at her Altar at Hiram Butler Gallery
Sherrie Levine is having a bit of a resurgence lately, thanks to “Mayhem,” an albeit mixed survey at the Whitney Museum of American Art in New York, and a forthcoming catalog this spring of the same name. But you don’t have to go all the way across the country to…
Openings & Closings: EaDo Gets a Wine Bar, Alvin Gets a Craft Beer Bar
The big news this week was the shuttering of Cabo’s, the downtown Tex-Mex restaurant famous for its second-story patio and extra-strong margaritas. (I myself have not one, but two tales of woe relating to those margaritas’ sneaky strength.) The Chronicle reported that the nearly 15-year-old business closed earlier this week,…
Project Runway All Stars: Make It What?
Austin Scarlett, Mondo, Kenley, Anthony…just a few favorites who bring the “something old” to Project Runway: All Stars which premiered last night on Lifetime. Austin has grown an amazing, blond version of a Clark Gable moustache but the rest of the contestants look pretty much the same. Viewers hoping for…
Comment of the Day: The Great $70 Bank Robbery
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Review: How Dangerous Is Propain’s Dangerous Mind?
“Bad boy, no Will Smith. I wear these big ass jeans ’cause I’m trying to steal shit. Bitch.” –Propain, “The Bad Guy” Propain is a calculus. Propain is an oak tree. Propain is an ornery, pinch-mouthed menace. Propain is not smiling. Propain is FUCK YOU. Propain is hard screen set…
Five Other Reality Shows We Wish Clay Aiken Would Guest On
ClayMates, start your engines! Your hero and American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken just joined the cast of the next cycle of Donald Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice set to premiere on February 12 on NBC. This cycle, filmed a few months back, is sure to have some proverbial fireworks, with the opinionated…
DEFCON Dining: Brother’s Pizzeria
Dinner that night did not get off to an auspicious start. My wife had called me while I was on my way home from work, telling me that I was to drive out to Westheimer and the Beltway, to meet her and the kids for dinner with her sister. This…
Reviews For The Easily Distracted: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Title: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy Another Spy Movie? There are spy movies, and there are spy movies. What The Hell Does That Mean? It means Mission: Impossible is to real espionage what Velveeta is to real cheese. Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: Four Enigma machines out of…
Eat It: Restaurants Owned by Musicians
Hotlanta is so hot that they can even turn their airport into a club. Stay with us. A few days ago, Ludacris announced that he will close his Asian/Singaporean restaurant, Straits, and embark on a new “restaurateur” opportunity: opening a “Chicken and Beer” restaurant inside of Atlanta’s Hartsfield Jackson International…
Jay and Silent Bob Get Old at the Alamo Drafthouse
For the past two and a half years, Jay and Silent Bob AKA Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes have been producing a podcast featuring disturbing, vulgar and obscene tales of yore. “Jay and Silent Bob Get Old” is something of a traveling circus, taped before a live studio audience across…
Bartender Chat: Mimi of Shepherd Park Draught House
This week we hopped on over to Garden Oaks to check out Shepherd Park Draught House. We had heard good things so we went in with high expectations and weren’t let down. It’s a pretty cool little spot with a rock & roll vibe, one long wall lined with red…
Clifford Johnson, 56, Bayou Body Count No. 2
A drunk driver killed a man riding in a mobility scooter who had his infant son on his lap, Houston police say. Intoxication manslaughter charges have been filed against Wilmer Farley III, 20, who police say was drunk when the accident occurred about 3 p.m. yesterday. Clifford Johnson, 56, was…
Week in Photos: Happy New Year
Each week, we take a dip into the Houston Press Flickr pool and see what our talented photographers have been up to. We’re looking for pictures that represent the best of Houston, from food to art to events, to secret hidden spots of beauty. Just drop them in our Flickr…
Top 5 Video Game Elvises… Elvi… Whatever
A bit back we brought you a parade of the finest Hitlers in video game history, and you guys seemed to like that pretty well. Still, in the end we were sort of celebrating the pop culture embrace of history’s greatest monsters, and it left something of a bad taste…
Winter’s Coming: 9 NSFW Snowman Sex Pictures (That You’d Never See in Houston)
Winter is here in full force, which means in Houston the temperature might be 65 degrees or it might be 30 degrees. If it does get freezing, though, it won’t last long. That means we miss the sheer joy of shoveling driveways, parking spaces in front of houses, and sidewalks…
Alexander Scriabin Attempted to Cause/Score Armageddon
We here at Rocks Off are fascinated not only with the end of the world, but with the people who are convinced that they’re going to see it. We spend quite a bit of time playfully using the light-hearted headlines from Yahoo! News about the music industry as a springboard…
The Rest of the Best: Houston’s Top 10 Pizza Places
For the next 20 weeks, we’ll be rounding up the runners-up to our 2011 Best of Houston® winners. In many categories, picking each year’s winner is no easy task. We’ll be spotlighting 20 of those categories, in which the winner had hefty competition from other Houston bars and restaurants…
100 Creatives 2012: Carl Williams
What He Does: The most famous work of award-winning playwright Carl Williams is a comedy called When Bullfrogs Sing Opera. The play centers on two sisters, one of whom left her little hometown of Bullfrog Waller for the big city and never looked back, and the other, who unexpectedly shows…
Texans-Bengals: Five Matchups to Watch, and a Prediction
The last time the city of Houston hosted an NFL playoff game — or even had a team playing in one — it came under very different circumstances than what will transpire Saturday afternoon. Unlike the 10-6 Texans, who slide into the playoffs on a 3-game losing streak, the 12-4…
Van Halen Set To Hit Houston’s Toyota Center June 24
Just minutes after pictures from Van Halen’s Cafe Wha? club show in New York City hit rock blog Blabbermouth, industry site Pollstar added a June 24 date at the Toyota Center for the band. Kool & The Gang are set to open most dates on this tour. Yes, that Kool…
ESPN’s Jon Gruden Mistakes the First Lady for Lisa Salters (w/ VIDEO)
It’s hard to find a reason to stick around and watch a college bowl game where the score is 63-20 in the third quarter, so if you caught the moment that I am about to lay out for you from last night’s Orange Bowl, then you are likely a) a…
Man That You Fear: The Best Marilyn Manson Myths Ever
One of the last true rock stars roaming the land – in my stilted opinion – is Marilyn Manson, who happens to turn 43 years young today. With a new album coming this year, and another book, 2012 should shape up to be a great one for the man who…
Lucky Enough to Be Going to the Texans’ Game? Here’s the Info You Need
Bill Clinton had been in office only one year the last time there was an NFL playoff game in Houston. As you might have heard, there’s another one coming up Saturday at 3:30 p.m. It’s sold out, but if you’re one of the lucky ticketholders, there’s some info you need…
Rolled Up Like a Douche: “Blinded by the Light” Explained
A few years ago, my band took a trip up the east coast to play some shows in and around New York City. One of the stops was in Asbury Park at a club called The Saint. Not more than probably a mile down the road was the Stone Pony,…
For Cold and Flu Season: Which Cough Syrup Tastes Best?
General holiday stress, wildly schizophrenic weather and two weekends in a row of driving to Dallas-Fort Worth has taken its toll on me: I have a cold. It happens once a year, despite my best efforts. And I’m not alone: Texas’s cold and flu season generally runs from December through…
A Cooler Coke: Grandpa Lundquist Christmas Soda – Scandinavian Julmust
Other people’s Christmas Traditions are weird. I mean, let’s be honest, here. Nobody thinks that Catalonia’s Caga Tió – an anthropomorphic, candy-shitting take on the yule-log – is normal. The same can probably be said for the Dutch Zwarte Piet, whose black-face shenanigans are as beloved in the Netherlands as…
Elaborate Ocean’s 11-Style East Texas Bank Heist Nets $70
A crew of East Texas bank raiders could use a good freshening-up on the concept of costs vs. benefits. If this report from KTRE is any indication, the unknown suspects who raided the town of Cushing’s Texas Bank & Trust apparently planned their heist extensively, expending untold hours plotting out…
Tori, Tool, TLC And The Other Musical Debuts Of 1992
1992 was a pretty heady year for music in general, with the masses gobbling up all the gangsta rap, grunge, and pop-country they could. That year would see the release of not only R.E.M.’s Automatic For The People, Peter Gabriel’s Us, Pantera’s Vulgar Display Of Power, but also what is…
Health Department Roundup: Inconsistency Edition
Hope everyone had a good New Year’s Eve. We spent a few hours the next day lying in a cool, empty bathtub cursing that smug baby with the “2012” sash. (Only 11 more months of this crap, then we’re coming home, Acan.) The Health Department spent the end of 2011…
Googling Santorum: The Chron‘s TexasSparkle Makes a Horrifying Discovery
TexasSparkle is the highlight of the Houston Chronicle’s “Anyone Can Blog” page. Kathleen McKinley is her real name, and she’s a person who thinks Sarah Palin is a serious individual, Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh make sense, etc., etc. Her bio says she is a “co-host [of] SmartGirlNation on FTRadio…
Four Epic Twitter Rants in Honor of Kanye West
When Kanye West tweets, magical things happen. West’s high powered account lay dormant for quite sometime after his My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy album but last night, the floodgates were opened from West’s creative mind. What emerged was a sprawling 85 tweet rant that commenced for three hours. In short,…
A New Year’s Sunday Brunch at Hugo’s
It’s rare that I have the opportunity to eat brunch on Sundays. I’m usually one of those up-till-the-wee-hour-of-the-morning types, so getting up early on a Sunday is just not part of my regular agenda. But this last Sunday was special. It was New Year’s Day, 2012. And to ring in…
Free for All: Art Without a Price Tag
We’ve had a couple of days to recover from all of those holiday parties, and we’re already looking forward to this weekend’s offerings. Here are a few of the events on our list. On Friday, we’ll be stopping by the “Joseph Cohen: Fatto in Italia” opening at Wade Wilson Art…
Comment of the Day: Rick Perry’s Tweetpic Reminds Me of….
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Carol O’Connell Back with Another Kathy Mallory Mystery, Book Signing
It’s difficult to say what’s the more gripping image in the opening pages of The Chalk Girl. Is it the strange, elfin child with the wide grin who’s covered in dirt and suspicious red spots who unwisely runs up to embrace the strangers she meets on New York City streets?…
Meatless Mondays Make for Mad Guests at Pondicheri
Houston restaurants such as Backstreet Cafe have long offered Meatless Mondays, popular with vegetarians and non-vegetarians alike who enjoy eating meat-free meals that emphasize fresh, seasonal produce. More than 30 percent of Indians, meanwhile, identify as vegetarian. There is a national system in place there to identify which foods are…
Vinyl vs. Digital, a Side-by-Side Face Off
With all due respect to my audiophile friends, the end-of-year sales numbers for vinyl albums (up 39 percent from last year) are still just a blip on the radar. Vinyl sold 3.9 million copies according to SoundScan and that is a formidable number considering it is quadruple over what it…
Houston’s 5 Best NFL Playoff Memories
Yesterday we wondered why Texan fans are looking forward to the NFL playoffs, given the painful memories our town had when the Houston Oilers were here. But each year brings new hope and, after all, the Houston Texans have never, ever lost a playoff game. Not in ten years. Coming…
Ingredient of the Week: Black-Eyed Peas
Happy New Year! Forget that pesky diet; start off 2012 on the right (lucky) foot with some black-eyed peas. (We’re talking the legume, not the music group.) Eating black-eyed peas on New Year’s for good luck and prosperity has long been a southern tradition. Some say it stems from Rosh…
End Times: Dave Eggers’s Shower Curtain Short Story and Other Sure Signs of the APX
The Mayan calendar is ticking steadily on toward expiration, but that is the least convincing sign of the apocalypse since Harold Camping predicted one in May. More persuasive: 5,000 dead blackbirds falling from the sky on January 1, 2011, the New York Observer trend piece on how young people aren’t…
Houston Bands Vie in SafeAuto Jingle Contest
In September of last year Rocks Off alerted Houston musicians to $5,000 that could be won if they participated in the annual SafeAuto jingle contest, and at least three of them have recorded noteworthy enough efforts to be in solidly in the running as the contest comes to a close…
Mango Tree Thai Bistro: Dancing on the Edge
Almost exactly a year ago, I left a job downtown to start a more exciting one in Northwest Houston. While it may have been a good career move, it killed the fun I used to have at lunchtime. I went from getting to see and dine with my spouse and…
Lovely in Latex: Balloon Couture Fashion Shows January 28
If high fashion seems a little too pretentious and self-important, this fashion show might be right up your alley. Fashion fans seeking a more whimsical way to approach haute couture should check out the Halloween & Party Expo on Saturday, January 28, at the George R. Brown Convention Center. Award-winning…
Playoff Fever: The Hottest Women from This Year’s Texans Slideshows
There’s a lot of downtime before and during an NFL game. Luckily there’s a lot to attract the eye during those non-action periods. In honor of the Texans and their fans, who this weekend will see their first NFL playoff game involving a Houston team since 1993, we present the…
Pop Rocks: And Now, Your Least Anticipated Movies of 2012
The end of the year is always a nice time for going to the theater. Studios are desperate to cram anything they want for “awards consideration” into the final two weeks of December, leading to a larger than usual number of thoughtful, well-made films available for your holiday viewing pleasure…
Pop Rocks: The Least Anticipated Movies of 2012
The end of the year is always a nice time for going to the theater. Studios are desperate to cram anything they want for “awards consideration” into the final two weeks of December, leading to a larger than usual number of thoughtful, well-made films available for your holiday viewing pleasure…
The Countriest Auto Wreck Ever
By the time the dust had settled Tuesday afternoon on the two-truck, one-animal wreck on FM 1005 near the Deep East Texas hamlet of Mount Union, a 97-year-old man would be hospitalized, a donkey would be dead, and a logging truck and a 1989 Dodge pick-up truck would be damaged…
Blow Into This: Sexy Vintage Saxophone Album Covers (Semi-SFW)
You’ve probably seen some of these albums in dusty bins at the thrift store, forgotten and unloved, for less than a dollar. You could probably walk out the front door with them and no one would care. They don’t make saxophone-album covers like they used to. Apparently back in the…
Top 5 Pop Literary Lexicons
When you get right down to it, the concept of books about books is a little weird. After all, if you’d read the book in question, what could you have possibly missed that required another book to explain to you? Well, it turns out a lot. Sometimes you’re dealing with…
Barbecue and Big Books of Modernist Cuisine on Top Chef: Texas
We’ve had a week off, and in that time frame the Top Chef: Texas contestants have moved on from Dallas to Austin. My drug of choice this week is cough syrup, which I’ve been drinking all day long. I feel like a gangster. (More on this later today.) Nathan Myhrvold…
10 Hilarious Old Commercials for Terrible Wines, Mostly Aimed at Men Wanting Sex with Drunk Women
By Italian or French standards, Americans still have a lot to learn about wine. But my oh my, how far we’ve come in the past 30 years. It’s hard to fathom how little we must have known about the fruits of the vine if the following ten shockingly terrible ads…
Houston Film Critics Society: Best of 2011
According to the Houston Film Critics Society, not even an ounce of high-quality bud could make one enjoy the James Franco/Natalie Portman medieval stoner fantasy Your Highness, which it voted worst picture of 2011. But the group will celebrate better cinematic achievements during today’s Houston Film Critics Society: Best of…
”The Impact of Racist Ideologies: Jim Crow and the Nuremberg Laws”
Recognizing the importance of keeping history from repeating itself, The Holocaust Museum Houston’s newest exhibition, “The Impact of Racist Ideologies: Jim Crow and the Nuremberg Laws,” examines the segregationist past of the U.S. and Germany. While Nazi Germany had the Nuremberg Laws to deny Jews political, economic and social rights,…
Serenity
Once you write, direct and produce a cultural (and hence immensely profitable) television phenomenon like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, your Hollywood Q factor is good for a few more projects before the luster wears off. Triple-threat Joss Whedon parlayed his good fortune into another television series, Firefly, a grunge sci-fi…
“This is for You”
Visual artist Darcy Rosenberger shares works she created as gifts for her loved ones in the exhibit “This is for You,” currently at Lawndale Art Center. The show, one of four exhibits on view at the center, features art in a variety of mediums. (Rosenberger works in everything from paper…
”Discovering the Civil War”
With apologies to the History Channel, watching re-enactments and talking heads on television won’t bring the Civil War to life in the way that seeing a soldier’s prayer book with a bullet hole in it will. “Discovering the Civil War,” currently at the Houston Museum of Natural Science, brings to…
“Christie Blizard: from the tipi project”
Multimedia artist Christie Blizard has been on the Lawndale Art Center’s radar for a couple of years now, says the center’s Executive Director Christine West. ”Several of us had seen work from her elsewhere and…we thought, ‘We’ve got to get her here.’ She’s just bubbling up, and we wanted Houston…
”Gemstone Carvings: The Masterworks of Harold Van Pelt”
You can see three life-size representations of Erica Van Pelt’s hand in the exhibit ”Gemstone Carvings: The Masterworks of Harold Van Pelt.” Both husband and wife are photographers who have traveled around the world on assignment. During those travels, the couple picked up quartz and other gemstones. When their house…
Rach Fest! 1 – Rach 3
Houston Symphony Artist-in-Residence, pianist Kirill Gerstein, will be pitted against the notorious Rachmaninoff piano concertos during RachFest!, a series of concerts the symphony is touting as “1 Piano. 2 Masters. 3 Epic Weekends.” The Russian-born Gerstein, who is also making his Houston Symphony debut, will tackle all four compositions over…
”Every Day Use: The Origins of African-American Quilt Making”
Quilts have played an important role in the lives of African-Americans. During slavery, most blacks were unable to read or write, so quilts became a message board of sorts. The slaves stitched together cast-off bits of fabric using symbols and colors as coded messages. Quilts hung out to dry were…
From Rendering to Reality: Architectural Drawings from the Studio of Patrick Lopez, 1964 to 1995
Illustrator Patrick Lopez spent years collaborating with some of the best architects in the 20th century — Helmut Jahn, Skidmore Owings and Merrill, Johnson and Burgee, among them. Lopez’s contribution to the projects was architectural renderings of the buildings. Local architect Barry Moore acted as curator for an exhibit of…
Rodelinda
She’s considered the voice of a generation, the woman who redefined the term ”diva” — Renée Fleming. Lyrical, dramatic, beautiful and strong, Fleming is the prototype for a new opera star. She brings all that talent to bear in an encore broadcast of Rodelinda, part of the Metropolitan Opera Live…
“Magical Realism in Photography”
It seems to be an oxymoron — magical realism, but the images seen in the “Magical Realism in Photography” exhibit at the Houston Center for Photography are clearly both. Interim HCP Exhibitions Coordinator Libbie J. Masterson was the show’s guest curator and she put together a collection of photographs that…
Sara Paretsky: Breakdown
Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple is a mild-mannered, genteel lady who ferrets out crime by using her considerable wits. Sara Paretsky’s V.I. Warshawski is nothing like that. Mild manners? Nope. As a matter of fact, Warshawski has a gritty personality that grinds on just about everyone she meets. Genteel? Uh, that…
Fruitcakes! (A very special holiday special)
The five-member cast of Fruitcakes! (A very special holiday special) takes the show’s music very, very seriously — but Tiny Tim, the Grinch, Rudolph and other Christmas characters all get the send-up treatment. A wonderful mix of singers, actors and comedians, the cast delivers one of the most enjoyable holiday…
“Dennis Harper: Born in the Bayou”
Tilman Fertitta has some downtown competition. The latest Window Into Houston installation, “Dennis Harper: Born in the Bayou,” opened at the private residence of Jim Peterson. Blaffer Art Museum’s collaboration with the Peterson household, located in the downtown area, is the third exhibit of its kind realized by Blaffer director…
Gifts of the Sultan: The Arts of Giving at the Islamic Courts
The Prophet Muhammad said, “Exchange gifts, as that will lead to increasing your love to one another.” It’s in this spirit that the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston presents Gifts of the Sultan: The Arts of Giving at the Islamic Courts.The exhibit features more than 200 works of art from…
Lauren McAdams: Going Up
Susie J. Silbert, curatorial fellow for the Houston Center for Contemporary Craft, has a reminder for visitors to the exhibit Lauren McAdams: Going Up. Yes, [the pieces] are very active; yes, it’s different than a show where things are up on pedestals. But no, you’re not supposed to touch them!”…
Woodlands Ice Rink
Spend a part of Christmas pirouetting across the Woodlands Ice Rink. The main rink is the largest in the Southwest, and there’s a second, smaller rink for beginners. A steady stream of holiday music will keep skaters moving happily along. Take a break from the ice to tour the Town…
”Dutch and Flemish Masterworks from the Rose-Marie and Eijk van Otterloo Collectio”
Wander among a collection of some of the greatest works by the Old Masters at the “Dutch and Flemish Masterworks from the Rose-Marie and Eijk van Otterloo Collection” exhibition. The show features works by Rembrandt, Hals, Gerrit Dou, Jan Steen and others. The colors and light utilized in these timeless…
“Daily Dance”
Expect to see the unexpected in the art exhibit ”Daily Dance.” Artists from around the world — Belgian Hélène Jeudy, German Maike Hemmers, Ecuadorian Maureen Gubia and Argentinians Mara Caffarone and María Mantella — contribute cutting-edge work for the show. The exhibit is curated by artist Sebastian Forray and is…
Seventh Annual Open Call Exhibition: Reconstruction (Featuring Artist Sherry Sullivan)
The rules were simple for the show Seventh Annual Open Call Exhibition: Reconstruction (Featuring Artist Sherry Sullivan). One piece per artist would be accepted, and only the first 125 pieces would be shown. The concept meant that, for this show at least, timing was almost as important as talent. The…
MFAH Film Premieres: 2011 British Arrows
Don’t be confused by the name 2011 British Arrows — it’s just the new moniker for the British Television Advertising Awards. The hilarity and amazing images are still the same. Made up of television commercials that are either over-the-top, bawdy, insanely creative or heartrending, this year’s Arrows include bits by…
Dutch InvasiON
At first glance, Deepwater Horizon 1 by Demiak seems to be an idyllic scene: a small cabin set over water. But look a little closer — that’s blood in the water. There’s a dinghy tied to a porch rail, but no people are to be seen. Instead of lush surroundings,…
Imprinting the Divine: Byzantine and Russian Icons from The Menil Collection
The Menil Collection has opened up its impressive collection of Eastern Orthodox religious icons for the exhibit Imprinting the Divine: Byzantine and Russian Icons from The Menil Collection. Some 600 years of Eastern Orthodox faith are represented, with more than 60 religious icons from Russia, Greece and the Balkans. Icons…
Clay Moore and the Frontera Jazz Quartet
What do you do when you play jazz music and live in a place where everyone wants to hear Norteño music? If you’re guitarist Clay Moore, you get a few buddies and invent your own blended sound. Clay Moore and the Frontera Jazz Quartet plays lots of Latin jazz, with…
”Visions of the Saints”
A scant nine select prints and drawings of saints from the 16th through the 18th centuries make up “Visions of the Saints,” currently on view at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston. The focus of the small grouping is the recently acquired chalk drawing called The Head of a Young…
Peter Cetera & Richard Marx
Two of the titans of pop-radio in the ’80s and ’90s, Peter Cetera and Richard Marx, team up for this Friday-night gig at the Arena Theatre, which — along with Nutty Jerry’s in Winnie — has been getting some of the more interesting bills in the region. What you receive…
Capsule Art Reviews: “Ballast/Break,” “A Brave New World” “New Formations: Czech Avant-Garde Art and Modern Glass from the Roy and Mary Cullen Collection,” “Reconstruction,” “Soundforge,” “Toni LaSelle: Climate of the Heart: Paintings from the 1950’s”
“Ballast/Break” I’m not so jazzed about the 2D works in Alexis Granwell and Carrie Scanga’s “Ballast/Break” in Lawndale Art Center’s project space, but there is some pretty nice 3D stuff going on. There’s nothing wrong with Granwell’s large drypoint and monotype prints, images that look like architectural sketches for yurts…
Amplified Heat
We have a theory, can’t prove it or anything, but here it goes: If you’re going to be involved in the blues in any way, shape or form, you must be a werewolf. That is how we separate the wheat from the chaff. Case in point, Amplified Heat, made up…
Rick Lee & The Night Owls
We got to partake in the pleasure that is the Hideaway on Dunvale for steak night one Tuesday, and it included the magical blues stylings of Rick Lee & The Night Owls. Lee and his band do ZZ Top, Bobby “Blue” Bland and B.B. King covers. The Hideaway is a…
Capsule Stage Review: Fruitcakes
Fruitcakes The Music Box Theater, Houston’s newest cabaret troupe, presents a “very special holiday special.” The show more than lives up to its billing. You expect something a little different, a little off-kilter, from MBT’s ultra-talented quintet (Rebekah Dahl, Brad Scarborough, Cay Taylor, Luke Wrobel and Colton Berry), and they…
Sarah Jarosz
Sarah Jarosz burst upon the Austin music scene at age 14 as a fully formed bluegrass prodigy. At ease on mandolin, guitar and banjo, she has released two critically acclaimed albums that feature the cream of the bluegrass world as her sidemen: aces like Jerry Douglas, Darrell Scott, Dan Tyminski,…
Proper Pronunciation and UT Fans
Dear Mexican, In my hometown of Playa Larga (Long Beach, California), natives refer to a major avenida in our villa, Junipero Avenue (named for Father Junipero Serra, accused native genocider, a candidate for sainthood — but I digress) as Juan-a-pear-o. There is no “Juan” in Junipero, but that’s how everyone…
Josefus
Frequently cited by music historians as one of the first metal bands, short-lived Josefus was a ferocious thing to come upon in 1969. Led by angry, pilled-up drummer Doug Tull, who allegedly committed suicide in jail in Austin in 1991, the band was at the center of much of the…
Birds of Bethlehem
Take a look around Al Aseel for yourself. The business card for Al Aseel features a roasted chicken set against a backdrop of flames, on a glossy red-and-black surface. Underneath the name, the tagline reads: “The Taste of Bethlehem; Mesquite Charcoal Grill.” It was purely by coincidence that I ended…
All That Jazz
Former KTSU Latin jazz DJ Juan Flores was waiting for his flight to board at George Bush Intercontinental Airport when a stranger approached him. “Hey, whatever happened to Juan Flores?” the man asked, noting the Texas Southern University radio station insignia on Flores’s jacket. “His show was great. I don’t…
Real Men
Lukas Nelson can’t help it that he’s Willie’s son. Of course, that fact certainly hasn’t hindered his career as leader of Lukas Nelson and Promise of the Real, whose self-released second record, Promise of the Real, has sold more than 20,000 copies and kept the band on the road 250…
Queen Bee
Marium “Echo” Rattler is a singer with exactly zero music that’s been properly recorded and released. In an attempt to give her the acclaim she deserves, we could rely on semi-confusing music journalism fallbacks, like, “Rattler’s voice somehow manages to be overwhelmingly delicate and just generally overwhelming all at once.”…
2011-12 Houston Press Texans Game Card
If predicting season results is a bottom-line business, then I was pinpoint accurate on my call of a 10-6 record for the Texans in 2011. If we have to peel back the onion layers and see the game-to-game details of how I thought the Texans would get to 10-6, though,…
The Hits of 2011
The challenge in choosing ten of the best restaurants to open in Houston each year is a daunting one: Many of the restaurants I think are “the best” have little to nothing to do with each other, making for a list that falls all over the map when it comes…
The 2011 Houston Press Crimes of the Year
With the Mayan Apocalypse just around the corner, perhaps it should come as no surprise that people are going a little nuts. And perhaps that’s why 2011 was such a banner year for crazy crimes in Texas. Seriously people, we’re starting to give those nutjobs over in Florida a run…
CVS: No Birth Control
Spaced City CVS: No Birth Control Won’t sell morning-after pill to man If you keep a Plan B morning-after pill around for emergencies, sometimes it’s going to get used, which means you’re going to have to go get a new one, right? And if you’re a chivalrous dude, you’ll offer…
