In Search of the Sleuth
Who is Edmund J. Pankau? And why did I tiptoe to the edge of his property this morning and make off with his trash while he and his family slept? I acted like nothing had happened when he called the office later today to invite me to lunch. In fact,…
Write On
The signature of James A. Baker III is printed on millions of currency notes produced while he was secretary of the treasury. So when Baker attempted to purchase something from Tanglewood Pharmacy in 1996, owner Jim Maxfield thought it would be neat to have him sign the cash for real…
Arena Bawl
How many Aggies does it take to turn a multimillion-dollar gift into a multimillion-dollar dispute? Just one: Chester J. Reed. Reed couldn’t have asked for better press than he received in 1986. The late land developer, who estimated the value of his holdings at around $200 million, had just promised…
Flirting with the Empire
Perhaps the most intriguing idea to spring out of George Lucas’s latest Star Wars installment is that the insidious Senator Palpatine does not become dictator through an uprising in the streets, but through silent machinations in back rooms. The change is gradual, until one day you realize the Republic is…
Laying Siege
In a city filled with skyscrapers and sterile strip malls, Montrose is the last place for fun, funky artisans to gather, work and thrive, says painter and performance artist Mark Larsen. Even with the gentrification, red dots flame on bungalows and studios in a district with enough coffeehouses to keep…
Hot Pants
Let’s get this out of the way. Bear with us. People: Please stop talking about Nikka Costa’s pants. You sound ridiculous. We tolerated it at first. Perhaps it deserves mention when a smoldering, five-foot-one soul diva with fire-engine-red hair emerges on the scene and coins a brand-new term: “ass cleavage.”…
Jumped or Was Pushed?
Last week’s raucous send-off for retiring Harris County elections chief Tony Sirvello featured a politically balanced guest list rarely seen in Houston these days. Even County Judge Robert Eckels and Commissioner Steve Radack suspended their mutual antipathy long enough to ham it up. They read a proclamation and uttered effusive…
David Lee’s Froth
To fans, he’s the ultimate showman — loud, funny, flamboyant and in-your-face — with both his singing and his desire for your girlfriend. To the hatas, he’s an annoying misogynist well past his sell-by date. But either way, one of the summer’s more interesting tours is a co-headlining jaunt with…
CAH? AHA!
CAH? AHA! Saving Houston’s history: As a professional archivist in Houston, I want to commend Richard Connelly for his excellent article [“Scenes from a City’s Soul,” May 23] concerning the Bailey photograph collection at the UT Center for American History (CAH). He was able to accurately convey to readers the…
Troubled Orbit
When the Fabulous Satellite Lounge hosts Aztex in a no-cover June 15 bash to celebrate a decade on Washington Avenue, they’re going to mean it. The last 12 months have been some of the toughest in the club’s history. Satellite founder Dickie Malone says the club’s troubles are external. It…
Special Sauce
Man cannot survive on salads alone — even if he’s a vegetarian. What that man wants is a balanced meatless meal that fulfills basic nutritional needs and gratifies a few corporeal desires in the process. The fried tofu with curry and coconut sauce ($6.95) at Van Loc Restaurant (3010 Milam,…
Homeless on the Range
On a Saturday night late last March, a throng of musicians and their various hangers-on convened on the notoriously grimy patio behind The Oven (403 Westheimer). This was “Punkfest,” an evening of unhinged musical entertainment featuring Houston’s hardest, heaviest and most obscure punk rock bands. This was also The Oven’s…
Economy Size
Maybe it has something to do with the bar’s steak night. Maybe the builder of these cramped quarters had something against out-of-sight storage. The first thing that struck me when I sat down at PJ’s Sports Bar (614 West Gray, 713-520-1748) was the enormous assortment of economy-sized condiments and seasoning…
Wilco
If there really were such a thing as alt-country radio, it would be difficult to imagine Wilco’s new album, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, getting played there. By all accounts, the band’s fourth disc is a big flying, techno-tinged “Fuck you!” to the group’s old label, Reprise Records, which forced bandleader Jeff…
The Barbecue Ward
Two-meat plate: $8 Three-meat plate: $10 Veal by the pound: $10.50 Links by the pound: $11.25 Mixed pound (any two): $11.50
South Park Mexican
Multiple-choice time. Recently, the following words were uttered: “Ain’t no way that SPM can be a human being.” Who said them? a. the prosecutor during SPM’s molestation case b. a disgusted juror on that same case c. a pissed-off grandmother after hearing about the case on the news d. none…
W.C. Clark
Long before Austin filled up with Strat-toting, blues-picking white boys with tiny beards under their lower lips, there was an African-American blues scene in the Texas capital. Since Austin’s black population has always been smaller than those of Houston or Dallas, its scene never had the magnitude of its larger…
Fat Joe
Whenever a Fat Joe song plays on the radio or pops up on BET, one can’t help but think, “There goes a happy, heavy muthafucka!” Of course, since the era of the happy, heavy MC went out with Kriss Kross and House Party movies, this statement could be delivered with…
Bourne Free
The plot of The Bourne Identity is astonishingly straightforward. It is bereft of twists (instead, we’re offered tangible explanations), free of the gaping plot holes that swallow confused viewers, and absent the cynical machinations of filmmakers who believe that to entertain it’s necessary to also bamboozle. This adaptation of Robert…
Wooing the White Guy
The opening credit sequence of Windtalkers — a montage of Monument Valley — instantly invokes memories of the opening of John Woo’s immediately previous film, Mission: Impossible II, in which Tom Cruise was dangling off a rock. It is the last moment of similarity between the two. Windtalkers is a…
Get It Straight
Five years ago, this interview would have been such the big deal–the coup of the year, the elusive great white at last wriggling on the hook. At least, that’s how she was treated back then, when she still took her meals in that velvet closet. She attracted the spotlight (some…
Strong Medicine
The two skulls buried in cardboard boxes brimming with Styrofoam peanuts look as if they were just dropped off by FedEx. Those outside the field of medicine may be unaware of the bizarre world of osteological supply, but yes, you can buy human bones from a catalog the same way…
Inanimate Objects
The best part of Alan Menken and Howard Ashman’s shamelessly commercial musical theater version of Beauty and the Beast happens before the orchestra starts warming up. On opening night, the usually hushed, oh-so-serious Jones Hall was filled with a different sort of energy. Stomping up the red-carpeted stairs of the…