My March Madness Selections (and Lots of Helpful Links)
I made this public service announcement on my radio show this week, but seeing as many of you are scrambling to fill in your brackets at the last minute, I feel compelled to print it here and remind all of you of the following: If sports talk radio hosts (like…
Comment of the Day
This morning, Geri Maria Harris listed her Top 5 sushi restaurants in Houston and — as with any Top 5 or Top 10 list — everyone weighed in with their own “left out” restaurants. But one reader, angrybaker, took issue with the name of the post itself, not necessarily the…
Welcome to the Dollhouse: HAR Listing Photos Overwhelmed by Dolls
Looking at the exterior photo of 7706 Valley View Lane on the Houston Association of Realtors Web site, everything seems completely normal. One look at the photo gallery tells a different tale. In what has got to be one of the strangest things in a house photo since that big black…
Health Department Roundup
Some of the reasons city inspectors write up restaurants are oddly inexact. When we see stuff like, “Utensils designed to serve food not kept at proper 45-degree angle from serving tray/as shiny as they probably could be/free of roach droppings,” we imagine bureaucrats taking secret pleasure in trolling anyone who…
Katy Couple Sues Restaurant Over a Splinter. Yes, a Splinter
One can only imagine that Texans for Lawsuit Reform will have a field day with the tale of of Jesus and Cynthia Montalvo of Katy, and of the splinter that very nearly tore their lives apart. In a suit they self-filed in Harris County District Court last week, the Montalvos…
A Family-Friendly Day at SXSW: It’s Possible
True story: Art Attack was supposed to be in Mexico this week, but we forgot to renew our passports. So instead of hitting the beach, we’re accepting the best consolation prize the world has ever known, a long weekend in Austin and SXSW. True, we’ve got three members of the…
Nate Dogg’s Seven Best Hooks Besides “Regulate”
Hip-hop lost a genius late Tuesday, when Nate Dogg passed away from causes unknown in Long Beach, Calif. Maybe the man upstairs needed this OG, who was 41 and had suffered strokes in 2007 and ’08, to sing hooks in the choir. Meanwhile, Nate’s work here on Earth will live…
SXSW Eats: Freddie’s on 1st
Last year, I wrote an entire series of posts on places to get great grub while you’re slumming in Austin at SXSW. Those were: Polvos (2004 S. 1st Street) Torchy’s Tacos (1311 S. 1st Street) Moonshine (303 Red River) Mozart’s (3825 Lake Austin Blvd) Mr. Natural (1901 E. Cesar Chavez)…
Choking on the Splinters: Couple Sues Restaurant Over Splinter Injury
While everyone has been focused on Japan, a tale of true tragedy has gone unreported — the tale of Jesus and Cynthia Montalvo of Katy, and of the splinter that very nearly tore their lives apart. In a suit they self-filed in Harris County District Court last week, the Montalvos…
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na, BAT VAN!
The Houston Police Department posted a video on their YouTube account today to inform Houstonians about a new DWI crackdown and a new vehicle they think will aid them. The Breath Alcohol Testing or “BAT” Van is a mobile facility for processing potential drunk drivers. We doubt the four vans,…
SXSW For Dummies: Keep That Beer In Your Pocket
See more SXSW silliness from Tuesday in our slideshow. It’s time: this week, hordes of bands and interlopers will descend upon Austin and do their best to take it over, raging as hard as possible and filling the gutters with puke. So it’ll be pretty normal for Austin, except for…
Off the Wall: Mardi Gras Grill’s Crab Fingers Come Up Short
Last week, my Top 5 Appetizers caused most people to bang their heads against the wall. Many of you echoed the sentiments of Tylerrhes: “Olive Garden? You just lost all credibility.” But one lone ranger fought through the madness and actually spouted off five appetizer suggestions. I listened to KipsBigBoy…
NoTsuOh Ultimate Frisbee Team Immortalized in Celluloid
The Houston-based ultimate team NoTsuOh may not have been a legend around these parts, but mention the name to beach Frisbee players in Rimini, Italy, and you may very well hear somebody utter the word “dynasty.” Formed by Sean McCall in 2000, the squad, which was comprised of Houston-area players,…
Top Five: Irish Gangster Movies for St. Patrick’s Day
St. Patrick’s Day is one of those holidays, along with New Year’s Eve and Halloween, that we refer to as one of the year’s annual “amateur nights.” Whether you’re full-blooded Irish, one-fifth on your mother’s side or honorary by marriage, it’s pretty much an excuse to start drinking early at…
Rebecca Lang on Quick-Fix Southern Food and Hand Modeling
Rebecca Lang is a writer and cooking instructor based in Athens, Georgia. She travels the country teaching classes at cooking schools (and also at such places as Williams-Sonoma, Whole Foods and Central Market), and appears regularly in cooking segments on the nationally syndicated show Daytime. She is also a contributing…
Mango’s Is Alive, Well & Dubstepping In Montrose
“Houston could eat Austin,” says Eric Dean, the new full-time booker at Mango’s Café. “Twice!” Casual jabs at the nation’s music capitol, an air of confidence – without the slightest hint of arrogance, mind you – and an eager attitude concerning our city and its music define Dean, who has…
SXSW Video: Dudes Fighting Over A Foo Fighters Drum Stick
Tuesday night at the Foo Fighters gig at Stubb’s, which Rocks Off only heard, drummer Taylor Hawkins through a drum stick out into the crowd, as per the norm for the smiley rock skinsman. But the best part was hearing about what happened after the stick hit the crowd. Bill…
Should We Stop Saying Remember the Alamo?
There are quite a number of catchphrases that can be attributed to the Lone Star state. Among them, “Houston, we have a problem,” “Don’t mess with Texas” and “Who shot J.R.?” evoke a range of responses. Certainly, our colloquialisms are as unique as the state itself. But, perhaps the most…
App of the Week: LastPass
App: LastPass Platforms: All Smart Phones Web site: LastPass.com Cost: Free (no app), $12 annually for app and subscription One of the more necessary and frustrating requirements for being on the internet is managing your information, most importantly, the passwords for the dozens of different websites that require that kind of information. We’re probably…
St. Paddy’s Desserts
You’ve been invited to a St. Paddy’s Day party — what to bring? Of course, booze is a no-brainer, but what about sustenance to fuel the party? Here are seven spiked desserts to liven up your St. Patrick’s Day. 1. Guinness Cupcakes The booze in these cupcakes adds a wonderfully…
Football, Etc. Prepares To Enter The Draft
Shoegazing and emo music are not really Rocks Off’s resident snarky goth’s glass of absinthe, but in our opinion, any Houston band chosen to represent our criminally unrepresented city deserves a look. So with some trepidation, we wandered into the realm of Football, Etc. and their new LP The Draft…
Made in Texas: Bourbon Ain’t Just from Kentucky Any More
In this week’s cover story, Dallas Observer food critic Hanna Raskin goes inside the world of Texas distilleries to discover that good bourbon can be found in the Lone Star State too. Once reserved for only a handful of bottlers, there has been an explosion of small, independent whiskey across…
A Picture Is Worth a Thousand…
…well, you know the rest. At Macondo Latin Bistro — the subject of this week’s cafe review — I was just as charmed by the fine little dining room as I was the food. I found myself lingering there far longer than was necessary and eagerly planning return visits for…
SXSW: A Tale Of Two Cities
Monday night, as SXSW Interactive was beginning to wind down, Rocks Off headed to Republic Live for the HoustonTXSW meet-up. Often at SXSW one is spoiled for choice, and the abundance of options when it comes to which panels to attend, where to score free food and what bands to…
Budget Cuts May End State HIV Program
In the maelstrom of suckage that is the state’s $15 billion budget deficit, potential cuts to one program might literally be a death-blow. The Texas HIV Medication Program, which covers treatment for approximately 15,000 people with HIV/AIDS, is facing cuts that would wipe the program out in two years, according…
Bullet Cell: Not Family Friendly, But Close Enough
Sometimes you just need to, as the children say, rock your balls off. That feeling just gets into your brain (or your balls, we suppose). You want some guys to just beat the hell out of their instruments, preferably in at least a semi-ear-pleasing manner, preferably while wearing little to…
On the Corner: Examining Zones of Culture and Community
There may be a connection between Houston’s (lack of) zoning laws and the way that the past, present, and future inform each other throughout its landscape. There are many “zones” throughout this city dedicated to celebrating its history and nurturing its creative spirit, and they sometimes seem to appear out…
Top 5 Sushi Restaurants
With sushi being one of my favorite go-to meals, naming favorites is not an easy task. There are so many things to take into consideration. Are you looking mainly at the freshness of the fish? What about the selection of makizushi? And what about the rice? I tried to take…
SXSW: The Most Bitchingest Metal License Plate You Will Ever See (This Week)
But why is it the most metal license plate ever?…
Mud Flies in West U City Council Election; Incumbent George Boehme Accused of Drunkenness
It’s election season in West University Place, and in the race for city council, shit just got real. In one corner, there’s incumbent George Boehme, a sometime restaurateur, amateur Negro Leagues historian and daredevil tree surgeon. In the other corner, there’s challenger Jim Shields, a tuba-playing former Kellogg’s executive. Shields…
Leafy Greens in a Pinch
Momma always said to eat your vegetables, but I don’t think she meant that tin of creamed corn. I never had trouble eating my veggies as a kid, but now that I have to cook for myself I’ve been noticing a lack of green — and I don’t just mean…
Last Night: KISS At RodeoHouston
KISS Reliant Stadium March 15, 2011 We’ll drive you wild with our photos from last night’s show. In Tom Snyder’s 1979 interview with the original members of KISS, only two of which remain, he asked bassist Gene Simmons, “What would happen if you went out on stage for a concert…
Last Night: Foo Fighters At Stubb’s
It doesn’t make Rocks Off feel happy to say that he sometimes doesn’t get into all the shows that he thinks he is entitled to seeing by some inner decree he has made to himself. Sometimes we have to sit out the cool stuff, but that doesn’t mean we can’t…
Wine of the Week: Domaine Ste. Michelle Brut
Thanks to the generosity of my neighbors, this week’s wine is a bubbly made in the Méthode Champenoise, which, according to the wine’s website, is pronounced, “may-tawd shaw-pah-nuaz.” This method is a replica of the traditional way that Champagne (named after the region in France where it is produced) is…
Comment of the Day: What “Choose Life” License Plates Mean
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
SXSW Film Festival: Buck
Buck Brannaman is a no-nonsense man. This kind of comes with the territory with cowboys, but even among the stoic men and women who spend their lives around horses and cattle, Buck stands out. He’s a former trick roper, a family man, a partial inspiration for The Horse Whisperer, a…
SXSW Music, Day One, Minus One…
Tuesday marked the first full day that Rocks Off was on the ground for this year’s South By Southwest in Austin, and it was also the last day of the interactive and film portions of the ten-day festival. This made for some fun culture-clash, as the typically tech-driven and nerdier…
11 Keys to Your Filling Out Your NCAA Bracket
Have you done your brackets yet?So it’s that time of year again. Time for the Big Dance, March Madness, the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. It’s that one time of year when absolutely everyone in the office actually pays attention to college basketball and everyone thinks they’re an expert. And if…
Music’s Five Most Notorious Killers, Besides The Band
On St. Patrick’s Day 1985, serial killer Richard Ramirez (right) murdered two women in Los Angeles, beginning a killing spree that would eventually tally over 14 people and leave him with the nickname “The Night Stalker.” From a young age, Ramirez was fascinated and inspired by the occult and Satanism…
Cowgirl Diaries: Tana Renick — Tames Wild Manes by Day, Wild Mares by Night
True cowboys and cowgirls are hard to find, but not at the Houston Rodeo. Life on the road leads them here this time every year for the biggest rodeo in the world, where they’ll ride and wrangle livestock for cash and glory. Each day, Hair Balls will spotlight one person…
Sampler Plate: This Week in Food Blogs
Each week, we put together a sampler plate of the most interesting links from both local and national food blogs. Know a blog we should be paying particular attention to? Leave the address in the comments section below. CultureMap: In advance of Thursday night’s Star Chefs gala, Sarah Rufca talks…
Mounted Shooting: Balloon Carnage at the Rodeo
Erica LoveCowboys who know how to work a gun while riding their trusty steed? The above picture is only the first glimpse of the rootin’ tootin’ cowboys at the HLSR’s Mounted Shooting competition. This past weekend, the top 15 fastest riders in the country gathered to compete at the rodeo…
Rock & Roll: Invented In Houston?
Rocks Off is pulling double shifts this week – are we ever – so on our “break” that ended a few minutes ago, we repaired to a nearby watering hole for a couple of beers (only a couple) and to peruse an advance copy of a book we got in…
Comment of the Day
Houston: It’s a burger town, and we’ve all got STRONG opinions about the subject, as evidenced by the comments on the Burger Bracket Sweet 16. We’re in too good a mood to highlight an angry comment, so we picked this one from Long Time Reader: Houston Press, you guys and…
My Advice for NFL Players
In the battle for NFL labor supremacy, I’m rooting for football. I’m rooting for order in my world, and my entertainment to remain untouched. However, forced to choose a side, I am rooting for the players. I don’t know if I represent Joe NFL Fan, I don’t know if my…
The Lost Mojito
If you’ve had a cocktail with rum, sugar, lime, soda and spearmint, it was probably called a mojito. That’s fine with me — I’m no cocktail cop — but that’s not what they’re drinking in Havana. A Cubano would no more make a spearmint mojito than a Kentuckian would serve…
Tommy Lee Jones for Senate: Crucial Updates
Since our item on Houston attorney Geoff Berg’s campaign to draft Tommy Lee Jones for the Senate seat being vacated by Kay Bailey Hutchison, things have been moving fast. 1. Tommy Lee Jones still has had nothing to say on this. 2. But the story has been picked up by…
Japanese Disaster Relief: AG Warns Against Fake Charities
Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott issued a warning today to anyone thinking of donating to Japanese earthquake relief: Be careful who you’re giving to. “By doing a little research, well-meaning Texans can ensure their dollars actually help the recovery effort and aid victims — rather than funding fraudulent scams set…
Beyond Green Beer: St. Patrick’s Day Dining
There will be plenty of St. Patrick’s Day shenanigans going on all around town this Thursday. But if you’re looking for more than a dyed-green tongue and a chicken tender basket, we’ve listed a few (slightly) more original offerings below. Azuma Sushi & Robata Bar Because nothing says St. Patrick’s…
Mama’s Got a Squeeze Box…of Baby Food
We get a ton of products across our desks here at the Press offices. Mostly, they’re CDs for the music guys, boxes filled with tuna and panties or alcohol-spiked chocolate milk. But we never get baby food. Until last week, when a box of Peter Rabbit Organics baby food showed…
Attention Artists: Saint Arnold Wants to Pay You $1,000
Calling all artists, designers, car lovers, and beer enthusiasts: Saint Arnold Brewing Company is adding a brand-spanking new Mini Cooper Countryman to their arsenal and they’re holding a contest to decide how to decorate it. While they’re not sure exactly what they’re looking for, one thing is for sure -…
William Scott Nelson: Nudist Gets 12 Years for Child Porn
A Pearland man who said he was a nudist who found nothing wrong with taking pictures of naked children was sentenced today to 12 years in prison and a lifetime of supervised release, the U.S. Attorney’s office announced. Maybe the long term is due to the fact that besides arty…
Comic-Book Alter Egos For Top Houston Rappers
The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place – lots of times, you’re even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good – so once a week we’re going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Something you always wanted to…
Spanish-Style Meats at Specs
Spec’s is home to some of the best available Spanish-style and Spanish-imported meats in the city (as well as cheeses, but that’s an entirely different post). I got to taste quite of few of them on Fat Tuesday to get my fill of meat before the 40 days of Lent…
“Choose Life”: Bill to Put Your Religious and Political Views on Texas License Plates Passes Senate
State Senator Dan Patrick is proudly reporting that the Texas Senate has passed by a 21-10 vote his bill creating license plates that say “Choose Life,” thereby, we guess, breaking off the crippling shackles of all those Texans who have been previously prevented from shoving their religious and political views…
Houston At SXSW: Where & When The Bayou City Invades
In the coming week, legions of Houstonians will trek northwest to descend upon the city of Austin, blessing it with our mere presence during the madhouse that is SXSW. Heck, some of Houston is already there. Our delegation is not limited to SXSW attendees, however. A host of Houston bands,…
A Savory Crepe from Melange Creperie
The other day, after dropping my daughter off at school and with hunger setting in, I decided to swing by the corner of Westheimer and Taft and see what Buffalo Sean was whipping up at Melange Creperie. I don’t find my way over there often but am always glad of…
Aliah Rowe: Girl with Migraine Suspended for Being Under the Influence, Until Publicity Hits
The Texas City school district suspended 12-year-old Aliah Rowe and was planning to send her to an alternative school for being under the influence of drugs and alcohol. Her fighting mom produced evidence that she was absolutely not under such influence and was instead suffering from migraines, but the school…
New On DVD: The Fighter, Hereafter, The Parking Lot Movie, The Switch, Waste Land
(Capsule reviews by J. Hoberman, Eric Hynes, Karina Longworth and Nick Schager.) The Fighter The Fighter is based on the true story of Lowell, Massachusetts, light welterweight champ “Irish” Micky Ward, but, starring Boston working-class hero Mark Wahlberg, it plays as a Rocky-fied fairy tale for our time: Consigned to…
Pedro Mendez: Convicted Cockfighter Now Accused Child Molester
What’s next in the criminal career of Pedro Mendez? The 56-year-old Nacogdoches man seems to be hell-bent on checking off every box in the “most odious crimes” category of human endeavor. Not ten months after pleading guilty to animal cruelty in a cockfighting case, Mendez now stands accused of indecency…
The 10 Best Rock Samples In Hip-Hop
Rocks Off just finished reading Ian Christe’s 2007 Van Halen biography, Everybody Wants Some, which chronicles the band’s history from the Van Halen boys’ entry into the U.S., the upbringing of David Lee Roth, and devastating, fatal 1985 crash into Mount Sammy Hagar. Sad stuff if you’re a Roth purist,…
Swimming Upstream Comes to the Alley, One Night Only
A short time after Hurricane Katrina hit in August 2005, Carol Bebelle, founder of the Ashe Cultural Arts Center in New Orleans was contacted by Eve Ensler, the playwright best know for The Vagina Monologues. Ensler had come to New Orleans, certain that among all that devastation there would be…
Ghosts and the Paranormal in Beaumont This Weekend
If you ever wanted to hear from the country’s top paranormal investigators, get your Bigfoot on with expert cryptozoologists, or talk to other people who regularly see saucer-shaped aircraft whizzing through the night sky, then you need to get thee to the Texas Ghost Show in Beaumont March 18-19. Presented…
First Look at Pecan Creek Grille
Brock and Stacey Silverstein know their stuff when it comes to breakfast. The Silversteins are ten-year veterans of the Buffalo Grille, one of Houston’s most enduringly popular breakfast destinations, but also one that’s a bit of a drive for anyone outside the Loop. And for those outside the Beltway? Forget…
Unidentified Male, 15, Bayou Body Count No. 31
A teenaged boy was sitting on the steps outside a southwest side apartment last night when a man came up and shot him several times, killing him. Another boy who had been sitting next to the victim was not shot. The name of the victim has not been released. The…
100 Creatives: Philip Lehl
(Part of our ongoing series profiling 100 Houston-area artists. No rankings; no order. Check back every Tuesday and Thursday for another edition.) What he does: Lehl, whose acting work has included roles at the Alley Theatre, The Houston Shakespeare Festival, Horse Head Theatre and his own Brave Dog Theatre, thinks…
Ingredient of the Week: Spaghetti Squash
What is it? Spaghetti squash is a big, giant squash – not like those puny zucchinis or calabacitas or yellow squash. The spaghetti squash means business – similar in size, color and shape of the butternut squash, it ranges from four to eight pounds, and is in season in the…
Paul Revere & The Raiders: From Batman To Manson
With their bright Revolutionary War-style outfits, tri-cornered hats, and energetic antics, Paul Revere and the Raiders were certainly one of the most visual pop/garage rock bands of the 1960s. But beyond that aspect laid a tight, five-piece combo who notched up a string of hits (“Kicks,” “Hungry,” “Good Thing,” “Just…
KIAH’s “NewsFix”: The Anticipated TV News Revolution Begins Saturday, But We Won’t Be Covering It
The world, or at least that portion of it peopled by journalists, is mightily anticipating Channel 39’s Saturday night newscast. Why would they care about a weekend newscast that Houston barely watches? Because most of them will be gleefully hoping it will be an epic disaster. KIAH is owned by…
SXSW Film Festival: Undefeated
Sports documentaries often have an edge over other non-fiction stories simply because they’ve already got a narrative built in: Seasons start and end, players rise and fall, and successes and failures on the field are easily projected onto the broader lives of the men and women involved as symbolic of…
Upcoming: Billy Joe Shaver, Def Leppard, Stephen Marley, Etc.
“20th Annual KTRU Outdoor Show” With Washed Out, Real Estate, Fat Tony, Young Mammals, Grandfather Child, The Tontons: Sat., April 9. Rice University. Billy Joe Shaver: Sat., June 18. Dosey Doe Coffee Company. Chingo Bling, DJ Ebonix: Fri., April 8. Bronze Peacock Room @ House of Blues. Chuck Negron: Sat.,…
Why Is Everybody Hating on UAB?
Seth Greenberg wants to know why no one likes him”It makes you wonder if someone in that room has their own agenda, and it does not include Virginia Tech, unfortunately,” Coach Seth Greenberg said Sunday night. “You’d hate to think there’s politics involved, but it makes you wonder.” I’ve seen…
(More) Natural Packaged Cookies?
One of my many Lent resolutions was eat fewer processed baked goods, e.g., those giant frosted cookies from Randall’s. Valero cupcakes are lighter on the wallet and really do hit the spot sometimes, but my body could use the break from HFCS and artificial colors. Living in close proximity to…
SXSW Film Festival: The Other F-Word
There’s something amazing and endearing about watching Flea cry while he talks about how his daughter gave his life real meaning. This is, well, Flea: crazy-good bassist, crazy-crazy rock star, tormenter of Marty McFly. And here he is, openly weeping as he talks about the way his life was enriched…
On the Menu: A Good OMG at Sabine River Café
I recently sampled some of Sabine River Café’s newest menu items at a media dinner. The restaurant is now offering seven new entrees and three desserts. Some of the additions include the Monterrey Chicken, King Ranch Chicken Casserole, Steak Laffite, and French Quarter Praline Cheesecake. I ended up trying the…
Last Night: Kid Rock At RodeoHouston
Kid Rock Reliant Stadium March 14, 2011 First things first: Yes, Aftermath got to Reliant Stadium with plenty of time to spare Monday. One embarrassing screw-up per Rodeo season is more than enough, thank you very much. Besides, no way were we gonna miss Kid Rock’s RodeoHouston debut, if not…
Comment of the Day: How to Find Jessica Tata
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Vernon Lee Ahrenhoersterbaeumer: Frying Pan Family Feud Lands Giant Man with Giant Name in Jail
Word to the wise: steer clear of Ahrenhoersterbaeumer family gatherings. Those hosted by the East Texas branch of the polysyllabic Germanic-American family might just turn violent, at least if last Thursday’s events in a Longview trailer park are any indication. Police there say they were called after 35-year-old Vernon Lee…
Vertigo Blue Continues His Evolution
Truth be told, Rocks Off just didn’t care much for Area 51, the last album by Mike Naus, better known as Vertigo Blue. Frankly, the fault must lie with us, since he was recognized on the Entry List for Nominations for the 50th Annual Grammy Awards with the title track…
Cowboy Diaries: Bee Jay Scott — Prays for a Good Bareback Bucking
True cowboys and cowgirls are hard to find, but not at the Houston Rodeo. Life on the road leads them here this time every year for the biggest rodeo in the world, where they’ll ride and wrangle livestock for cash and glory. Each day, Hair Balls will spotlight one person…
Where Are We Drinking?
I hope he’s not about to drink that candle. Does the scene below look familiar to you? Think you know where this kid’s about to gulp down some hot wax? Leave your best guess in the comments section below…
Seven Spring Break Foursquare Badges That Should Exist
Over the next week or two, the modern technology of social networking and the time-honored tradition of partying with your bathing suit around your ankles known as spring break will collide full force. We can only assume the level of regret felt by someone ten to 15 years from now…
The Eating Our Words Burger Bracket: The Sweet 16
Now that our four teams of judges have been chosen and the space has been reserved for the Final Four party at Lucky’s Pub on April 4, only one thing remains to be revealed: the 16 burger finalists themselves. The competing burgers you’ll see on our bracket below were chosen…
Houston Ballet Deftly Stages Epic, Challenging Sleeping Beauty
The Setup: On the eve of moving into new downtown facility the Center of Dance, the Houston Ballet has planned a greatest-hits season of sorts. The Execution: The Sleeping Beauty pays homage to former Houston Ballet Artistic Director Ben Stevenson, reviving his 1990 staging of this seminal classical ballet. But…
Comment of the Day
Our weekly Where Are We Eating? feature gets readers salivating most Monday mornings, with hours to go until lunch. But today’s offering put a few readers off, leading to some snarky comments about where the plate is served. Said Simplyrick: Harris County Jail. Added Nate: A grade school in the…
Rocks Off’s Must-See Music Picks For SXSW ’11
UPDATED to include Adam P. Newton’s picks (3/15, 10:02 a.m.) As you may have heard, there’s a teeny-tiny little music festival going on in Austin later this week. Some of the early birds on team Rocks Off are either already there or well on their way, as a matter of…
Main Street’s Or, is Fine Farce
The Setup: Using the proto-feminist, real-life playwright, novelist, and royal spy Aphra Behn (Stephanie Holladay Earl) as inspiration, playwright Liz Duffy Adams spins a provocative tale in which headstrong Behn, lowlife actress Nell Gwynne (Jessica Boone) and randy King Charles (Patrick D. Earl) share their lives and each other’s beds…
CBS Murders Charles Barkley (Not Literally)
“This is a win on any number of levels, not the least of which is that I would watch Charles Barkley analyzing or opining on any topic. No, seriously, I would watch Charles Barkley convey his thoughts about ANYTHING — basketball, politics, the economy, Bieber, dermatology, termites, ANYTHING.” — Me,…
Happy 3.14 Day: A Parade of Pie Porn
In honor of Pi Day (March 14, 3.14, you get it…), we’ve put together a sumptuous selection in slideshow form of our favorite pies from the Internet. Yes, you can get incredibly tasty pies right here in Houston from places like House of Pies (in fact, I recommend doing just…
Japanese Nuke Disaster Might Stop Texas Expansion
Financial analysts are predicting that the series of nuclear accidents resulting from the Japanese earthquake will put an end to plans to expand the South Texas Nuclear Plant in Bay City, 90 miles southwest of town. The energy company NRG had ambitious plans to double STNP’s size by adding two…
A Lighter Shepherd’s Pie
With St. Paddy’s Day just around the corner, last week I was looking for the perfect recipe to pay homage to my small bit of Irish heritage. I have a strong aversion to traditional Irish dishes like corned beef, soda bread and pretty much anything with cabbage, so I needed…
Unidentified Male, Bayou Body Count No. 30
A tag team of drive-by killers left a man dead in a southside apartment complex Saturday night, police said. The man, whose identity still has to be verified, had been driving a car that smashed into two parked cars at an apartment complex in the 5000 block of Sunflower. When…
The Gumbo from Goode Co. Seafood
I recently found a copy of Cooking up a Storm: Recipes Lost and Found from the Times-Picayune of New Orleans at Half-Price Books, and had planned to try the recipe for gumbo on Fat Tuesday but ran out of time. I still had my heart set on some Mardi Gras…
The 10 Biggest TV/Music Crossover Fails
Kim Kardashian’s release of her new single, “Jam” makes Rocks Off sick to our stomachs. It’s been our philosophy that while an ass can sell a TV show or low-budget porn, it can’t sell an album. You can’t mute a CD and still “watch” it. So in lieu of Kardashian’s…
Today’s Your (NSFW) Birthday!
One way we get writing ideas is scrolling through various dates of the week on Wikipedia looking for famous birthdays or historical occurrences. When we were going through the birthdays on March 14, we noticed that an awful lot of porn stars were born on this day. True, this is…
Ten Vintage St. Patrick’s Day Cards with a Modern Twist
Thursday is St. Patrick’s Day, a day in which everyone can become Jose O’Gonzalez or Ron O’Kopecky if they wish as the world turns Irish for once a year to commemorate Saint Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland. Most people who will be tipping a glass or soiling a toilet…
Rappers: What Are Your Final Four Picks This Year?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday that isn’t a national holiday, Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. This Week’s Panel: Uzoy, Eskabel, Renzo, Kyle Hubbard, D-Risha and John Dew Not Invited: Nostradamus This Week’s Prompt: With bracketology 2011…
The Sazerac at Branch Water Tavern
Closing your eyes and pointing to something on a cocktail menu can have amazing results. Such was the case at Branch Water Tavern a few weeks ago when I stumbled upon my new “favorite” mixed drink: the Sazerac. Before sitting down I had already enjoyed a cosmopolitan (icy cold and…
16 City Employees Nabbed for Stealing City’s Copper
Sixteen city employees have been charged with stealing copper, because hey, it was there for the taking, we guess. Seven have been arrested so far, HPD says. Investigators got a tip that the workers were selling copper to Latino’s Scrap Yard in the 300 block of East Mount Houston. They…
A First Visit to Ninfa’s on Navigation
Since moving to Houston last year I’ve enjoyed exploring the city’s cuisine — to the tune of about seven pounds — but I haven’t hit many of the restaurants that Houstonians consider “institutions.” At the prompting of a friend I decided to start my journey at Ninfa’s on Navigation. That…
Last Night: Go Tejano Day At RodeoHouston
Go Tejano Day feat. La Leyenda, La Arrolladora Banda El Limon, Mariachi Invitational Finalists Reliant Stadium March 13, 2011 Tejano is dead, at least at RodeoHouston. Gone are the days of Selena, La Mafia, and David Lee Garza, who are now replaced with conjuntos norteños and bandas duranguense. This shift…
Texas Music Festival “Promoter” Gets Five Years In The Can
Remember the Texas Music Festival? The multi-day outdoor event that was supposed to happen around the Fourth of July weekend 2008 (we think) in Eleanor Tinsley Park? Headlined by Los Lobos? Yeah, Rocks Off doesn’t remember it either. Most of it got rained out, but even if the weather was…
David Elder in the Musical Mystery Curtains: Better Than Tennis
When David Elder was eight years-old, his father put a racquet in his hand. “I knew I was going to grow up and be Jimmy Connors,” he says. He and his dad made the rounds of state competitions and as a freshman Elder was one of the top players on…
James Watson Jr: Texas Musical Festival Promoter Gets Five Years in Prison
James Watson Jr., the promoter who said his Texas Musical Festival would become an annual must-see on the Houston scene, will get five years in a federal prison for fraud. Watson kited a $400,000 check to the Bank of America in connection with the first (and only) Festival, in Eleanor…
Slideshow: Gary Allan At RodeoHouston
Rocks Off has the worst luck with Gary Allan. It’s starting to give us a complex. It’s ironic, because out of all the artists who get semi-regular play on country stations we hardly ever listen to like KILT and 93Q, Allan lines up the most with the kind of country…
Grrrl Riot: Cops Need Back-Up to Break Up Girl Fight at DePelchin
A Houston police cruiser pulled up to the DePelchin Children’s Center after a report came in of a girl fight at the facility. He took one look and called for backup. Nearly a dozen girls were bringing it on at the famous family help center on Memorial near River Oaks,…
Steak and a BJ Day: The Male Valentine’s Day
Although one of America’s newest holidays does not yet have its own Wikipedia page, it does have two separate Web sites as well as an entry on Urban Dictionary. And that’s good enough for us. For the uninitiated, Steak and a BJ Day is the “creation” of Tom Birdsey, a…
Awful Spring Break Movies (For Everyone)
It’s spring break time again for students all across America. A time to sow your wild oats while you’re still chained to a learning institution, to make bad decisions, waste money, and hope your father never sees that Girls Gone Wild clip. Most adults with real jobs, families, and bills…
What a Crock: Cherry Chocolate Dessert
Cherry Chocolate Dessert–a pretty vague name, but I was intrigued. This recipe consists of only three ingredients, making it a high-risk venture. The reviews were solid, and I was under a time crunch, so I gave it a whirl. The rundown A box of chocolate cake mix, a stick of…
Unidentified Male, 22, Bayou Body Count No. 29
A robbery in a westside apartment led to the death of a young man Friday night, police say. The 22-year-old victim, whose identity is being withheld pending notification of his family, was visiting friends in an apartment in the 2700 block of Briargrove, near Westheimer, about 11:40 Friday night. Two…
SXSW Film Festival: Turkey Bowl
It would have been so easy for Turkey Bowl to totally fall apart. The brief film (about 62 minutes) takes place in real time as a group of friends in their late 20s come together for a touch-football game that gradually reveals more about their relationships. It almost screams “film…
Jed Ortmeyer: The Houston Aeros’ Medical Miracle Man
John RoyalAeros right wing Jed Ortmeyer watches the action unfold on the iceRight wing Jed Ortmeyer joined the Houston Aeros on New Year’s Day. The team had already started showing signs of life right after Christmas, but when Ortmeyer came on board, the team soared, going on a January spree…
Friday Night: Elizabeth Cook At McGonigel’s Mucky Duck
Elizabeth Cook (first set) McGonigel’s Mucky Duck March 11, 2011 Rocks Off always appreciates a country artist who comes by their tales of low lives and high times honestly, and Elizabeth Cook certainly qualifies. The offspring of a mother who honed her musical skills in Appalachia and a father who…
Top 5: Thai Restaurants
When you mention Thai food to people, the first reaction you usually get is something pertaining to its spiciness. And while Thai food can be very spicy, most places around town are more than willing to work with customers. And really there is so much more to Thai food than…
Food Nostalgia: Lobster Fest at Red Lobster
Every now and then, I’m reminded of a restaurant that I used to eat at, but haven’t been to in a long time. Last weekend, I went to Red Lobster with my mother. As we walked through the entrance, I had a feeling of warm nostalgia flood through me. We…
Friday Night: Lady Antebellum At RodeoHouston
Lady Antebellum Reliant Stadium March 11, 2011 Less than a month after winning five Grammys, Lady Antebellum made their way to Houston for another stint at the Rodeo. Having been forced to listen to “Need You Now” countless times over the past year – half a dozen times at the…
Comment of the Day: Hand Doctor Michael Brown and Tax Cuts
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
The Week In TV
The sun came out, we all lost an hour of sleep, and Charlie Sheen refused to die. This was the week in TV Land: • Charlie Sheen got fired last week. It’s weird that it took so long for it to happen, considering how he’s thrown himself gleefully off the…
Summer Fest Adds Big Boi, Beirut, Girls, Killing Joke
Free Press Summer Fest has added four headliners to the two-day festival scheduled for June 4 and 5 in Eleanor Tinsley Park, organizers Free Press Houston and pegstar.net announced this morning. Atlanta rapper Big Boi (still one-half of OutKast, we think), Balkan-tinged indie-rockers Beirut, San Francisco sunshine kids Girls and…
Astros Spring: Please Save Jordan Lyles from This Club
Is Jordan Lyles this season’s savior of the Astros?The news from Astros camp last week was that Carlos Lee had to DH in some games because he had a tired shoulder. Which begs the question of don’t you actually have to use the shoulder for something before it can become…
Cage Match: Miranda Lambert Vs. Clockpole
Ladies and gentlemen, Wednesday night a battle will be waged for your very musical soul. In this corner, sending diabetics into comas at the wheel with her saccharine sweetness is young country sensation Miranda Lambert. And in this corner, wearing… nothing… He is nude, he is lewd, he is crude,…
Cowboy Diaries: Clayton Savage — Stepped On “Down There” by a Bull
True cowboys and cowgirls are hard to find, but not at the Houston Rodeo. Life on the road leads them here this time every year for the biggest rodeo in the world, where they’ll ride and wrangle livestock for cash and glory. Each day, Hair Balls will spotlight one person…
Where Are We Eating?
This fast-food Indian restaurant has been around almost as long as many of our readers, but the butter chicken (top right corner) is brand-new to its menu. Does this lunch plate look familiar? Think you know where we’re eating this week? Leave your best guess in the comments section below…
Carrie Feibel & Eric Kayne: Chronicle Romance Makes The New York Times
The lusty, throbbing crucible of lust that is the Houston Chronicle was exposed in The New York Times Sunday, as a bodice-ripping tale of love at first sight, layoffs and, ummm, washing cars was laid bare for a nation to see. Highlighted in the Times’s weddings section, a must-read for…
Michael Brown and Wife Divide Up the Luxury
Further talk of an alleged hit man in ex-hand doc Michael Brown’s divorce case was averted today when lawyers for Brown and his wife signed “agreed temporary orders” divvying up the couple’s bounty. And boy, is it a bounty — especially for a dude who filed bankruptcy in 2006. For…
NFL Lockout: It’s All But Official, Texans Torture Will Be at Least Delayed
Get ready for a total shutdown of the NFL: The player’s union has decertified, meaning the labor dispute will now move to the (always swift-moving) federal court system. It’s all but certain that football fans will endure a work stoppage for the first time in more than two decades. We…
Comment of the Day
Today Katharine Shilcutt counted down her top 10 places to eat crawfish, and commenter Matt wrote in about the proper way to do things: I believe Calliope’s also seasons the water (that’s what the owner told me, I look forward to trying them). I’m from New Orleans and will never…
This Week in (Unrestrained) Deliciousness
In true Mardi Gras fashion, this week Eating Our Words was a celebration of excess. After all, we kicked it off with a gallon of butter and a call to judge our Burger Brackets. Your enthusiasm for beef is overwhelming (and I want one of those T-shirts!). If you haven’t…
Charles Barkley Drops “Jackass” on Billy Packer (And Seven Other Barkley-As-Analyst Highlights)
The unveiling of the brackets for March Madness, which is a scant 48 hours away, takes on a little different meaning this year, for three intertwined reasons: 1. The field has expanded to 68, so now Tuesday and Wednesday will include four play-in games to get us to the ever…
Will You Be the Idiot Who Forgets About the Time Change?
For some reason it seems to be sneaking up on people this year, but Sunday is Daylight Saving Time. Spring forward, fall back, lose an hour’s sleep, more sun in the evening, all that stuff. So don’t forget. Each year when this happens, of course it brings about one pressing…
Floating Stones: Heimir Björgúlfsson at CTRL Gallery
Elements from the natural world become characters in the collages of Heimir Björgúlfsson, currently on view in the show “The Classical” at CTRL Gallery. Björgúlfsson cuts out photos of things like rocks and plants and inserts them into various photographic settings. Giant hunks of mineral ore appear to inch along…
More Local Music News Than “Big Dance” Corporate Partners
It’s that time, yet again, where Rocks Off supplies a convenient wrap-up of the week in local music news, just enough to tide you over until we return on Monday. Before we get started, a tip of the hat to Mr. David Cobb of Houston Calling, whose blog just celebrated…
Openings & Closings
After a long, lonely winter without that little blue house, MAM’s House of Ice has finally reopened in the Heights. Today, the MAM’s crew is opening shop from noon to 6 p.m. but, as always, hours change from day to day. Follow the snoball house on Facebook and make sure…
Cleveland Gang-Rape Story: Times’s Ombudsman Says It Was Flawed
The New York Times’s ombudsman has joined the chorus criticizing the paper’s coverage of the Cleveland gang-rape of an 11-year-old girl. Arthur S. Brisbane noted that many people thought the story leaned towards blaming the victim and being sympathetic to the alleged perpetrators. “My assessment is that the outrage is…
Bartender Chat: Rachael Graves of The Usual
Rachel Graves is exactly the kind of bartender you want to see after a long day, when all you want to do is sip on an unpretentious drink while relaxing in a casual, laidback bar, like The Usual. Born in Hawaii, Graves later moved with her family to California before…
Facebook Lyrics Fail: Citing Eazy-E in Front of Family Is Unwise
So we were perusing the page of this girl Bethanie Russell, a Bacliff ne’er-do-well recently busted down on the Island rolling around in a car that didn’t belong to her. On her public wall, we found this absolute gem of a disastrous use of song lyrics as a status update…
Bjørn Båsen’s Surreal Wonderland at Anya Tish Gallery
Bjørn Båsen’s “Tainted Tales” at Anya Tish Gallery presents surreal paintings of antique china objects so odd and distorted, they look like a 19th-century housewife’s laudanum-fueled daydream. And speaking of laudanum, Lewis Carroll is another influence here. In Taffel I (Wonderland) (2011), blue and white, delftware-like china objects cast the…
Super Happy Fun Land’s SXSW Overflow Fest In Full Swing
Not everyone has the capital to attend South by Southwest this year, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t have the opportunity to hear some of the greatest bands in the world in the coming weeks. In fact, if you’re in Houston, you’ll not only get a chance to see…
Tonight Is No-Refusal Night: Behind the Scenes of a DWI
Tonight is no-refusal night.Happy Friday! It’s the joyous start to the weekend, that grateful lapse between the freshly dead workweek and the one that looms next. It’s also the kickoff to no-refusal weekend, HPD’s drunk driving initiative. If you’re pulled over on suspicion of being drunk and refuse a breathalyzer…
Houston’s Top 10 Crawfish Joints
Note: This post is from 2011. Please check out our current list (with current prices) for 2012. Yesterday, we showed you the proper way to eat crawfish. Today, armed with that knowledge, we’re going to show you the best places to eat them in Houston. It may not officially be…
I’m Gonna Get Me Religion
(Max Ernst, The Temptation Of St. Anthony; special thanks to D. Eric Bookhardt) One of the wonderful things about American music is its alternately combative and reverent relationship with religion. Music, American music especially, in performance and on record, allows us revel in our cynicism, celebrate our confusion, and just…
Jonathan Barnes: Friend of Houston Socialite Pleads Guilty to Money Laundering
Jonathan Barnes, the Bellaire oil trader whose ill-gotten gains include Frank Sinatra’s 1957 Caddy, pleaded guilty today to fraud and money-laundering charges, the U.S. Attorney’s office announced. Now very worried: The two other defendants who have been charged in the scheme. Feds say the three were involved in a multimillion-dollar…
Wilma Johnson McQueen, 83: Just Another Coke-Dealing, Shotgun-Wielding East Texas Grandma, Cops Say
Wilma Johnson McQueen: Keeping the family business aliveWilma Johnson McQueen, 83, simply took over her husband’s business after he died. Sure, the business involved dealing coke, but it’s all about family and tradition in East Texas. Police weren’t so sympathetic to the touching story of an elderly widow trying to…
Idol Beat: The Beloved
American Idol, the show that dares answer the question: “Who or what the hell is ‘Diddy Dirty-Money?'” Ryan Seacrest kicks the show off by introducing our “beloved finalists,” and I couldn’t help but think of Rick’s line from Casablanca (“They’re not particularly my beloved finalists”). They emerged to raucous applause,…
Happy Hour Hurricanes and Crawfish Bites at Ragin Cajun
Going to Ragin Cajun on Ash Wednesday was simultaneously the best and worst decision I made this week. Although I expected the restaurant to be busy, I didn’t anticipate standing in line for almost 35 minutes to get a tasty but overpriced plate of fried seafood. But I also didn’t…
Uzoy’s The [DEF]inition Breaks The Female-Rapper Mold
This week, Uzoy (pronounced ooh-zee) released her first proper tape, the 2DBZ-backed The [DEF]inition. It’s a good tape. At times, you would not be wrong if you were to say that it is a great tape. Solid production, memorable features, an attractive cover (that matters), a clear sense of purpose…
The Search for Jessica Tata: Lots of Tips and Yes, They’ve Tried Facebook
Since announcing a $25,000 reward last week, U.S. Marshals have gotten dozens of “detailed” tips on how to find Jessica Tata, the fugitive owner of a daycare where four kids died horrifically. “We’ve gotten some really good leads, and we’re tracking them down,” agency spokesman Alfredo Perez tells Hair Balls…
Reviews For The Easily Distracted: Battle: Los Angeles
Title: Battle: Los Angeles Another Alien Invasion Movie? How Many Can Hollywood Make? Hey, if you’re happy getting complacent in the face of extraterrestrial onslaught, that’s fine. Just don’t come crying to me when they teleport you to the Probe Nebula. Rating Using Randon Objects Relevant To The Film: Two…
Upcoming Events
Mardi Gras was fun while it lasted. Now? Lent, the most depressing time of the Christian year. What are you sacrificing for Lent? Chocolate? Beer? Something even stupider, like Diet Coke? Whatever you’re giving up, if you’re also depriving yourself of meat on Fridays, several area restaurants have you covered…
The Ultimate Musical Space Shuttle Crew
The first man to ever leave the Earth and venture into space was a Russian cosmonaut named Yuri Gagarin, who, if he hadn’t died at the young age of 34 in a plane crash he would be 77 years old today. Garagrin was launched into space on April 12, 1961,…
Gabrielle Giffords: Docs Say Progress Amazing, Though Shuttle Launch Trip No Done Deal
John Nova LomaxThe doctors face the press for an upbeat updateU.S. Rep Gabrielle Giffords has her personality back, is speaking in full sentences and has made continuous neurological improvement, her team of TIRR Memorial Hermann doctors said at a news conference at the Texas Medical Center this morning. Dr. Imoigele…
So Kenny Chesney Is Playing Discovery Green After All
Looks like CultureMap – and their “anonymous” sources – had it right. Way to go, guys. After the Houston digital daily broke the story (to Rocks Off’s extreme skepticism), The NCAA, Turner Sports and CBS announced later Thursday that Renee Zellweger’s ex will close out the relentlessly branded Big Dance…
Five Terrible Rap Acts Who Will Never Crack the “Diddy List”
I’m a sucker for lists, I’ve said that before. If it makes me a less cerebral person, so be it. I’m not apologizing. For a “list addict” like myself, Forbes magazine is like a big plate of list cocaine. They’ll come up with any way they can to categorize wealth…
Tinny Dancers: The Aluminum Show
We’ve often speculated on the secret lives of inanimate objects, even more so now that our microwave has taken to turning itself on and off for no apparent reason. That’s the premise behind The Aluminum Show, a unique marriage of art, visual theater, and acrobatic dance with commonplace industrial materials…
Eating Our Words Burger Bracket: Announcing the Judges
Picking teams to judge the Eating Our Words Burger Bracket truly wasn’t easy. For each group we ended up going with, there were several more that would have been great. We hope all of you come out to sample the final four burgers April 4 at Lucky’s Pub. Announcing our…
Stryper’s Michael Sweet: “God Formed This Band”
Stryper, the world’s coolest and heaviest ’80s Christian heavy metal band of the ’80s, comes to Scout Bar Monday night, touring behind last month’s covers LP, The Covering. It’s an appropriately shiny and heavy disc of covers from artists like Black Sabbath, Van Halen, Sweet, Iron Maiden and Led Zeppelin…
HISD Cuts Millions, May Not Be Enough
Last night was an elected official’s nightmare. Not only did Houston ISD trustees vote to significantly reduce funding for the district’s kids and schools, to clear the way to cut hundreds of teachers’ jobs, and to potentially close at least four schools — but they told a room filled to…
Your Meme of the Week: Paula Deen Riding Things
I have a confession to make. I think Paula Deen is mildly attractive. I’m sorry to anyone who this hurts or offends. Maybe it’s the white hair, the hearty laugh, the butter, the cheery eyes, the idea that she cooked in lingerie and heels back in the day, or maybe…
Odd Pair: Long John Silver’s Fried Fish Platter & Cava
Some might say it’s a travesty to drink wine with greasy take-out. I say it’s genius. Especially when you pair your delightfully fatty and crunchy Long John Silver’s fried fish pieces with a nice bottle of something cold and bubbly. NV Freixenet Cordon Negro Brut Cava ($10) has long been…
Idol Beat: The First Of The Fallen
American Idol, the show that dares answer the question: “Who or what the hell is ‘Diddy Dirty-Money?'” Ryan Seacrest kicks the show off by introducing our “beloved finalists,” and I couldn’t help but think of Rick’s line from Casablanca (“They’re not particularly my beloved finalists”). They emerged to raucous applause,…
Last Night: Rascal Flatts at RodeoHouston
Rascal Flatts Reliant Stadium March 10, 2011 “We’ve been together for 10 years, but I don’t look a day over ‘Fast Cars and Freedom,'” giggled bassist/pianist Jay Demarcus of Rascal Flatts last night at the Rodeo. The band, consisting of DeMarcus, singer Gary LeVox, and guitarist Joe Don Rooney, was…
Shiftwork Bites: Semi-Modernist Cuisine Edition
Since I started Shiftwork Bites, my coworkers have been asking me to do something with fish. I’ve hesitated for one reason. The electric skillet that comprises my primary heat source uses a thermostatically controlled heating element that cycles on and off. It doesn’t do a very good job, tending to…
Comment of the Day: HISD’s Definition of Truth
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
March 5-11: The Week in Photos
Each week, we take a dip into the Houston Press Flickr pool and see what our talented photographers have been up to. Going somewhere exotic (or not so exotic) for Spring Break? We want to see your pictures. Just drop them in our photo group right here. As always, for…
A DIY Musical Instrument For The Zombie Apocalypse
If you’re anything like Rocks Off you’re worried about two things: a) That jars of olives are somehow sentient and plotting our demise; and b) that when the dead rise and life becomes a bitter struggle between the living and the zombies there will simply be no time left for…
Cowboy Diaries: Steven Peebles — Clearing the Bad Cowboy Name
True cowboys and cowgirls are hard to find, but not at the Houston Rodeo. Life on the road leads them here this time every year for the biggest rodeo in the world, where they’ll ride and wrangle livestock for cash and glory. Each day, Hair Balls will spotlight one person…
Chef Chat, Part 3: Glen Trumble of Heights West
In this week’s chef chat, we caught up with Glen Trumble of Heights West (see our conversations here and here). We spoke about some of the restaurant’s offerings, and now it was time for me to try a few. I started with an oyster appetizer that recently popped up on…
The New Minute Maid Park, Same As the Old, Just Now with a Big-Ass Video Screen
John RoyalThe Astros have a new big-ass video boardSo during the Houston College Classic I got a chance to get a bit of a preview of the new, improved Minute Maid Park as the new baseball season approaches. So I’ve got some observations. 1. That’s one huge, big-ass video screen/scoreboard…
Comment of the Day
Today Katharine Shilcutt gave readers a primer on how to eat crawfish, getting commenter Trisch ready for the season: Fond memories of many a bug battle! My sister and I once went to a crawfish/baseball event with a $20 entry fee. At first, the organizers refused to serve more than…
Michael Brown: Wife’s Divorce Attorney Claims the Hand Doctor Tried to Hire a Hit Man to Kill Her
Former hand surgeon Michael Brown tried to hire a hit man to kill his wife, his wife’s lawyer told a Harris County Family Court judge Thursday. In a heated meeting in front of Judge Jim York, David Brown (no relation) said he had received a tip from the Harris County…
Patrick Regan and Ximena del Pilar Echeverry Arias: Husband-Wife Team Arrested for Running Guns from Houston to Colombia
A Houston-area couple has been charged with smuggling arms to Colombia, and a whole lot of weaponry was seized. Federal agents arrested Patrick Regan, 40, and his wife Ximena del Pilar Echeverry Aria, 25, who was a Colombian native, on Tuesday, prosecutors announced today. “Firearms trafficking empowers terrorists, insurgents and…
Off the Wall: Salmon and More Salmon from Kenny and Ziggy’s
Last week, EOW’s Nicholas T. Hall took down a chopped liver and pastrami sandwich at Kenny and Ziggy’s. I can’t stand chopped liver (no fault of Nick T.), but I was interested in some of the comments the piece generated. Like this one from Eric Sandler: “I know the sandwiches…
Gabrielle Giffords to Attend Shuttle Launch?
There’s a press conference tomorrow at the Texas Medical Center to discuss the “strong progress” being made by Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords as she recovers from her shooting. There may be a more dramatic announcement: Fox News is reportingthat they confirmed today that Giffords will attend the shuttle launch of…
The United States Of Music
Rocks Off’s sister blog Hair Balls did it with murderers and serial killers. Food blog Eating Our Words, riled the beer snobs with one about the best beers from each state in the union, and a teetotaling follow-up chronicling the best soda pops. For the past few weeks, Rocks Off…
(Video) Cirque du Soleil Hatches a Spectacular OVO
See many more pictures of Cirque’s spectacle in our slideshow. OVO is literally abuzz under the Grand Chapiteau at the Sam Houston Race Park. Cirque Du Soleil’s new touring show emerges from the ecosystem of the insect life forms–full of leaping grasshoppers, floating moths, dancing fleas and musical cockroaches. With…
How to Eat Crawfish
I have not been eating crawfish my entire life. I’m not even going to lie to you like that. I have, however, been eating crawfish for a little over half of it. I am also not going to sit here and tell you that one size fits all when it…
Norma Jean Clark: Is This the Face of Someone Who’s Been Hiding from Murder Charges for 23 Years?
Norma Jean Clark, who was arrested earlier this year in the cold-case murder of her husband 23 years ago, is back in town. Clark, 61, waived extradition and was booked into Harris County Jail yesterday, Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman Christina Garza says. Clark had been living quietly in rural Tennessee when…
Delo’s Hood Politics Vol. 2 Best Local Mixtape Of 2011
On his first tape, Hood Politics Vol. 1, Missouri City product Delo did one great thing (“Ghetto Boy”), one excessively beautiful thing (“Ain’t My Style”), six good things (“Dream On,” “Tell Me Mamma,” “16 David,” “Can I Live,” “Hold On,” “Money & Blood”), two bad things (“I Got Wings,” “Hwy…
Food Fight: Battle Reuben Sandwich
When you order a Reuben sandwich, you’re telling the rest of the world (or at least anyone within 20 feet of you for the rest of the day) that they, too, will be having a Reuben. It’s a strong move. I once ordered a Reuben at the legendary Brent’s Deli…
Sheila Jackson Lee in the Muslim Hearings: YouTube Hit
The U.S. House’s bizarre hearings on Muslims (sorry, “radical” Muslims) included a noteworthy speech by Rep. Keith Ellison, the only Muslim member of Congress, who teared up while remembering a Muslim first responder who died on 9/11. And then there was Sheila Jackson Lee. Love her or hate her, she…
Kind of Blew: Blue Man Group at Jones Hall
(See a slideshow of photos from the performance.) Art Attack has a confession to make. Until last night, I’d never seen a Blue Man Group performance. Not even during my mid-’90s New York years, when my cousin did PR for them and her then-boyfriend developed their wacky instruments. Tickets weren’t…
Pearland’s Football Championship Rings: Not Small
Players and coaches from Pearland’s 5A state champion football team got their rings last night and, well, let’s just say they’re pretty damn big. Plus all those huge diamonds. (Just kidding.) (We think.) The rings apparently feature the score of the title game, the wearer’s name, and the team slogans…
Second Time’s the Charm at Goode Company Hamburgers & Taqueria
When I wrote about my initial failure to get a rare burger at Goode Company Taqueria , many of you wrote in with your thoughts, including Levi Goode, who defended his business’s commitment to cooking burgers to order: “This was a misstep on our part when your order was placed,…
Wilber Adalid Rodriguez: Homeless Man Murders Another Over National “Honor”
You’d hope that San Antonio residents Wilber Adalid Rodriguez and Jose Antonio Rodriguez would find a way to get along. As the old blues song goes, they were both poor boys a long ways from home: the 24-year-old Wilber hails from El Salvador, while Jose, 28, was from Honduras. But…
Schlitterbahn Just Got Awesomer
One of the great advantages of living in Texas — beyond the chance to vote for Rick Perry your entire life — is Schlitterbahn, the renowned waterpark in New Braunfels. The Hill Country setting, the nearby Guadalupe — whether you’re on your own or herding kids, it’s a unique and…
Bob Schneider’s Five Favorite Albums Of All Time
It’s been said that if you have lived in Texas for at least a decade and you haven’t at least been in the vicinity of a Bob Schneider show, you are probably lying. Our introduction to Schneider was kind of heartbreaking, but that’s another story for another blog, or maybe…
Happy Hour Scene: Beaucoup Bar & Grill
The Place: Beaucoup Bar & Grill 3102 Old Spanish Trail 713-747-5100 http://www.beaucoupbarandgrill.com The Hours: 4 to 8 p.m. Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays 6 to 10 p.m. Fridays; 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Tuesdays; 11 a.m. to midnight Saturdays The Deals: Lots of them. Discounts on mixed drinks, mostly – check…
Michael Medina: Sheriff’s Deputy Kills Man Who Stole His Taser
A 37-year-old man was shot and killed by a Harris County Sheriff’s Deputy during a struggle in an apartment complex on the east side of the county, HCSO officials say. Deputy Michael Medina, an eight-year HCSO veteran, was responding to a disturbance call at a complex in the 13100 block…
Banishing Bugs with Bay Leaves
Boric acid kills roaches (among other creepy-crawlies). Which is great if you want to dispose of roach carcasses and enjoy crafting little tinfoil boats and filling them with white powder, gleefully placing them in enticing spots like kitchen cupboards, the insecticide version of a pederast stocking his windowless van with…
Kenny Chesney Joining Final Four Concert Series… Maybe
CultureMap thinks it has a “scoop” for you. According to Houston’s glossiest lifestyle Web site, barefoot beach-lover Kenny Chesney “appears to be” coming to join Kings of Leon at the NCAA’s “Big Dance” concert series the weekend of April 2-4. CM’s Chris Baldwin reports that although nothing official has been…
100 Creatives: Teresa O’Connor
(Part of our ongoing series profiling 100 Houston-area artists. No rankings; no order. Check back every Tuesday and Thursday for another edition.) What she does: Installation artist Teresa O’Connor brings her passion for art and bringing artists together into her shop Hello-Lucky. Featuring sweatshop-free, handmade local goods created by nearly…
Cleveland Gang-Rape Coverage: Controversy Doesn’t Die
The heat over media coverage of the Cleveland gang-rape doesn’t show much signs of slacking, as critics question whether stories in The New York Times and Houston Chronicle displayed a “blame the victim” tone. A round-up of the latest (We’ve asked Chronicle editor Jeff Cohen for reaction to the criticism;…
Canned Tuna Four Ways
Homemade dinners on a weekday can be difficult to coordinate. Between working, school, going to the gym, and the other ten thousand things on your to do list, the last thing you want to worry about is putting together a complicated dish at the end of the day. In these…
Candy Golde Set To Kick In Some Faces At SXSW Debut
If there is a must-not-miss show for Lonesome Onry and Mean at Austin’s annual springtime musical clusterfuck next week, it’s Candy Golde at Club Deville, 11 p.m. Friday night. A scary-good Chicago lineup of grizzled veterans – Cheap Trick drummer Bun E. Carlos, Wilco’s John Stiratt, and guitar heroes Rick…
Last Night: Martina McBride At RodeoHouston
Martina McBride Reliant Stadium March 9, 2011 Ain’t no use in complaining, when you’ve got a job to do. With SXSW bearing down on us like a freight train and the Rodeo squeezing us like a vise, Aftermath basically wants to kill everyone but our cat right now. Then when…
Charlie Sheen’s Astrology Chart: Five Disturbing Highlights That Explain It All
Charlie Sheen, high on a drug called him, has been analyzed every which way during his recent series of nuclear meltdowns. But the answer to his tiger-blood behavior may lie in the stars. It couldn’t hurt to ask, at any rate. So we had our favorite astrologer (our only astrologer,…
Idol Beat: This Time It’s Personal
The Daily Beast had a story up yesterday about how this season of American Idol might be the best ever: This year, the contenders have already proven energetic, and the audience is responding, with half a dozen developing breakout followings across the Internet, even before the finals have begun. “Breakout…
Prepping Your Pit for the Summer
Summer won’t officially begin this year until June 21. But this is Houston, after all, which means we’re currently enjoying our two weeks of spring before summer launches its full-on assault around, say, the beginning of April. And the official launch of summer for me each year is when my…
Experimental, Entertaining Gone Missing at Theater LaB
The Setup: Experimental, yes, but still entertaining – talent will out. Gone Missing is based on actual interviews with real people, conducted by The Civilians, a journalistic acting troupe headquartered in New York City, and carved into theatrical shape by Steven Cosson, the group’s founder. The Execution: Theater LaB has…
Sidewalk Cafe in the Tunnels
I almost literally stumbled into Sidewalk Café (1000 Main), a small lunch counter located underneath the Esperson Building, while walking from one end of downtown to the other. I was intending to duck into the downtown outpost of Thai Spice, whose sign hangs right above Sidewalk Café, when I noticed…
Idol Beat: Idol Worship
The Daily Beast had a story up yesterday about how this season of American Idol might be the best ever: This year, the contenders have already proven energetic, and the audience is responding, with half a dozen developing breakout followings across the Internet, even before the finals have begun. “Breakout…
Comment of the Day: Rice’s Partying Students
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
A Rock in a Hard Place
In five years, we will mark the 150th anniversary of the end of the bloodiest war in U.S. history, and yet a stupefying number of people still don’t comprehend how flying a flag associated with treason and — more to the point — racism might not be the best idea:…
Look Out Kid, It’s Something You Did
In five years, we will mark the 150th anniversary of the end of the bloodiest war in U.S. history, and yet a stupefying number of people still don’t comprehend how flying a flag associated with treason and — more to the point — racism might not be the best idea:…
Chronophage: A Sedate Sort Of Black-Metal Band
It’s a well-known fact that most band names are essentially gobbledygook, but here at Rocks Off we’re trying hard to find the meaning in some of the odder monikers. We know of Kenny Khaos and his band Cronophage through the orifices of Justin Whitney and his band Church ov Melkarth…
Cowboy Diaries: Casey Colletti — Bareback Riding Does Not Squeeze Horses’ Balls
True cowboys and cowgirls are hard to find, but not at the Houston Rodeo. Life on the road leads them here this time every year for the biggest rodeo in the world, where they’ll ride and wrangle livestock for cash and glory. Each day, Hair Balls will spotlight one person…
Chef Chat, Part 2: Glen Trumble of Heights West
Yesterday, we caught up with Chef Glen Trumble of Heights West. We talked about life at Heights West and the restaurant industry in general. Today, we take a look at some of the fantastic dishes he’s serving up. EOW: What seems to be the top dish on the menu thus…
App of the Week: Lanyrd
App: Lanyrd Platforms: All Smart Phones Web site: Lanyrd.com Cost: Free Most weeks, this space is filled with information about an app you can get for iPhone or Android. This week is slightly different because Lanyrd is not actually an app. It’s a Web site. So, why, you may ask, are we writing about…
CORE Performance Company: The Point
CORE Artistic Director Sue Schroeder and dance-maker jhon r. stronks debut two pieces, The Point and The Moment Between during today’s performance. (Schroeder choreographed The Point alone and worked with stronks, a former member of the company, on The Moment Between.) “There’s a relationship between the two works; The Point…
Diva’s Jazz Salon — Chicago
Boasting one of the richest musical histories of any city, from early swing to cutting-edge free jazz, Chicago was the stomping grounds for venerated performers like Benny Goodman, Albert and Gene Ammons, Dinah Washington, and Frankie Laine. An octet led by Delfeayo Marsalis (yes, one of those blowin’ and honkin’…
The Big Squeeze
The Texas Folklife Center is scouring the state for the best young accordionists ages 21 and younger in The Big Squeeze 2011. And it doesn’t matter whether they play zydeco, Western, Cajun, conjunto or polka. Winners in Houston will advance to the semifinals, and finalists will ultimately play the Accordion…
Colores del Carnaval Dominicano
Carnival in the Dominican Republic is more than just a celebration. According to Rubén Durán and Donna Pinnick, the filmmakers behind the documentary Colores del Carnaval Dominicano, along with being a fabulous party, carnival is an act of subversion. “It’s a political force that changed history. And it’s set to…
2011 South By Southwest Supplement
Buxton may be the hottest band to germinate along the Houston Ship Channel — Deer Park and La Porte, specifically — since Michael Haaga’s deadhorse bit the dust. Recently signed to New West Records, these eager, fresh, still un-jaded youngsters suddenly find themselves submerged in the business side of the…
Cirque du Soleil: Ovo
Most people wouldn’t voluntarily spend an evening watching insects flit around, but when Cirque du Soleil: Ovo has created the bugs, fans line up for the opportunity. In Ovo, which has currently raised its tent in Houston, a pair of butterflies engages in a delicate courtship while dangling from a…
St. Baldrick’s Day Celebration
Head to the Goose’s Acre for the 5th Annual St. Baldrick’s Day celebration, where individuals commit the truley most selfless and altruristic thing a human being can do – shave their head in public, for money, while friends and family look on. This event benefits St. Baldrick’s Foundation, the second-largest…
St. Patrick’s Day at Nick’s Sports Bar and Grill
Nick’s is hosting its second annual St. Patrick’s Day Parking Lot Party from 6 p.m. to closing time. The event will feature live music from John White Band from 6 to 10 p.m., with karaoke from 10 p.m. until closing time, and drink specials including $2 green drafts and $1…
St. Patrick’s Day at Bar Munich
Bar Munich will have happy hour specials and a St. Paddy’s Day shot for anyone wearing green. Thu., March 17, 2011…
Gone Missing
Whether it’s your cell phone, your poodle, your lover or your dignity — losing things sucks. We’ve all felt it — the frustration, the rage, the grief over something or someone lost. Gone Missing, making its Houston debut here, is a musical homage to the missing created in 2001 by…
Sleeping Beauty
For decades, dance devotees and imaginative daydreamers alike have flocked to see Sleeping Beauty, which the Houston Ballet has currently revived. The famed tale of Princess Aurora, cursed by the jealous Carabosse and put to sleep to await being awoken by her true love’s kiss, is set to a legendary…
The Blue Man Group
Rediscover your sense of awe at today’s performance by the Blue Man Group. Unlike previous Blue Man concerts, this is a theatrical production, similar to the group’s long-running Broadway-like shows in Chicago, Las Vegas and Tokyo. The show includes a few Blue Man favorites, as well as a wealth of…
He’s Only a Perv
COURTS, CRIME He’s Only a Perv Voyeur-video dude not a child pornographer By Richard Connelly The 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals has formally ruled: Alan Ray Steen is a pervert, he’s not a child pornographer. Steen liked to go to tanning salons and stick a video camera over the…
Betting Their Lives
On December 17, 2008, Keith King opened his e-mail and unknowingly played his part in the downfall of what state prosecutors say is a $20 million investment scam. King, an Austin mortgage consultant, had been moonlighting for a friend, hawking a sure-fire investment opportunity in the midst of crumbling financial…
Meet The Niceguys
Tonight, January 18, 2011, is the video-release party for The Niceguys’ “Toast.” You likely do not know The Niceguys because you likely do not listen to underground Houston rap. The Niceguys are a four-person group that started in 2007, while all of the members were enrolled at the University of…
In a Pinch?
The day of green beer is back — where will you be knocking back a few? Check out some of your local bars for drink specials, musical entertainment and the chance to pinch a total stranger. THROUGH MARCH 17 88 Keys The Piano Bar 2736 Virginia St., 713-520-7001 www.88keyshouston.com The…
Fine Fellows
High school is the scene a lot of trauma and drama, both real and imagined. It’s also a popular setting for horror movies. Artist Kelly Sears uses a high school as the setting for her video, Once it started it could not end otherwise (2011). Blending a foreboding soundtrack with…
Causer of This
Toro Y Moi seemed to come out of nowhere in 2010, with Causers of This coasting nicely along in that summer’s “chillwave” craze. The music’s swirling atmospherics, introspective lyrics and gauzy feel made a perfect do-nothing soundtrack, but might have pigeonholed TYM mastermind Chazwick Bundick into a musical corner. He…
Assumption Junction
A man in his underwear is blindfolded and tied to a bed. A women dressed in a negligee has mounted him. She is kissing his stomach and his chest. The man thinks that the woman kissing him is his wife. It is not. His wife is standing off to the…
Elizabeth Cook
Elizabeth Cook’s syrupy Southern drawl wakes us up nearly every morning. Not in person, of course — she reserves that honor for her husband and guitarist Tim Carroll, an accomplished songwriter and performer in his own right — but via her four-hour “Apron Strings” shift weekday mornings on Sirius/XM’s Outlaw…
Kid Rock
If someone told you in 1998 that the vulgar rap-spitting Kid Rock would be the next Lynyrd Skynyrd-style country-rock act and be playing RodeoHouston 13 years later, you would have poured Fruitopia on their Adidas shell-toes and laid the smackdown on them with a Stone Cold Stunner. We are living…
Stryper
When all the rest of the pop-metal acts in the ’80s were busy getting into Aleister Crowley and lighting black candles for album covers, Stryper dared to praise the name of Jesus Christ and scream about redemption and the love of a higher, less nefarious power. Though they garnered derision…
Miranda Lambert
Miranda Lambert has struck a delicate balance: Together with kindred artists like Jamey Johnson, she’s made country music palatable once again to the sanctimonious scads of big-city, Tea Party-loathing dissenters, infusing the genre with a newfound sense of authenticity missing since the days of her legendary outlaw forefathers. At the…
Gumbo and Gin
To see how they make those boudin balls and more, check out our behind-the-scenes slideshow. “You won’t ever catch me saying that any gumbo in Houston is ‘awesome,'” said my friend Brandi as she considered the last few bites of her cup of chicken, sausage and seafood gumbo at MerCheri’s…
Menomena
Menomena has a sound all its own. One of the members, Brent Knopf, invented a complex digital looping program he calls the Deeler that the Portland, Oregon, band uses during recording. Menomena is musically versatile and ambitious, too, able to chop up and loop together a kitchen-sink jumble of tech-savvy…
The Mummy’s Curse
Who said animation should look real? Robert Zemeckis, for one, though as evidenced by Disney’s recent closing of his ImageMovers Digital studio, he increasingly appears to be alone in that sentiment. Mars Needs Moms stands as the potentially final Zemeckis-produced motion-capture effort, and, like The Polar Express, Beowulf and A…
The Fleshtones, Ivan Julian
“The Island” turns into the Bowery Wednesday night as two Lower East Side survivors of much-mourned NYC nightclub CBGBs blow through on their way to SXSW. Gathering no less than Patti Smith Group guitarist and noted music historian Lenny Kaye into the fold (though not on tour), the fabulous Fleshtones…
The ALL CAPS chicas
Dear Mexican, When the Second World War ended, the Germans and Japanese had to return all territories they had acquired by force. The U.S. acquired most of the West by force from Mexico, due to the war with Mexico. Agreed the U.S. won the war with Mexico, but did that…
Capsule Art Reviews: “California Cool,” “Tony Smith: Drawings”
“California Cool” Peel Gallery is offering up some “California Cool” in its current show of artists and designers who channel the 20th century, blending in some hip L.A. irony. The architecture firm Marmol Radziner presents some covetable low-slung, sleek chairs that riff on modernist icons as well a re-edition of…
Pomplamoose: A Real Revolution?
A Real Revolution? An online reader comments on “The Pomplamoose Revolution,” by Ian S. Port, February 24: Wrong: There’s a million things hilariously wrong with this article, but let’s begin with the numbers: Nine cents on an iTunes download might be true for some of the skeeziest major labels, but…
Capsule Stage Reviews: 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, Billy Elliot, A Fertle Farewell, An Inspector Calls, Shards of Love
25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee Precocious little Logainne SchwartzandGrubenniere (Monica Passley) — she has two dads, you see — stands at the microphone in the middle school gymnasium where the spelling bee is held. Her word to spell is “strabismus,” a squint caused by a defect in the eye…
