Killer Joe
Tracy Letts, one the country’s hottest playwrights, is on a roll here in Houston. First a production of his play called Bug won huge fans at Theatre Southwest last season. And the Alley Theatre opened the playwright’s Pulitzer Prize-winning August: Osage County to glowing reviews earlier this year. Now Big…
Masters of Semblance
For its upcoming performance, Masters of Semblance, Suchu Dance will have a very simple stage setting — a few chairs and a large table. Given the symbolic significance of the table — a common space, a meeting place — you might imagine that Suchu Dance would address these concepts directly,…
Art Lies Shuts Down Its Print and Website Publications
Art Lies announced today that it is closing up shop as far as its printed journal and website content are concerned, saying in an e-mail: “Today, facing the nationwide decrease in arts funding, our efforts have proven financially unsustainable.” It will finish out scheduled projects for the spring, including the…
ESPN Headlines — Sex, Lies and Shrunken Testicles
“I see trees of green … red roses too I see em bloom … for me and you And I think to myself … what a wonderful world.” — Louis Armstrong Clearly, Louis Armstrong would have never made it as a sports fan in the year 2011. At least not…
Comment of the Day
Today Nicholas Hall tried St. Arnold’s Divine Reserve #11 and loved it, like just about everyone else in Houston. Except, perhaps, commenter Bubbledome: Much ado about nothing – the later third of this review sounds more like an acid trip than a beer tasting. Sheesh… There are probably a dozen…
Mercury Pictures: Doesn’t Look All That Hot (Must Be the Humidity)
NASA has released the first images from the Messenger, which is orbiting Mercury. They hardly make the planet seem like the burning cauldron we’ve always expected it to be. Looks kinda cold, actually…
Wine of the Week: 2008 Sawbuck Malbec
Oh, sweet nectar of the gods: Malbec. That once-forgotten varietal, making a comeback as a cheap red wine, with plenty of depth, that happens to be a pretty good deal in most cases, is the total package – the Angelina Jolie of the wine world, perhaps – minus all those…
Gerald Ratinov: Busted for Running Big Pill-Mill Operation
A doctor with the Bond-like sinister name of Gerald Ratinov, along with 18 others, has been arrested in connection with a major prescription painkiller operation, District Attorney Pat Lykos and the local branch of the federal Drug Enforcement Agency have announced. Hydrocodone was the drug of choice, the DEA said,…
Health Department Roundup
City health inspectors checked out nearly 100 facilities last week, yet issued only one citation and required no temporary closures. We’ve been doing this column for weeks – literally weeks – and have never seen such an absence of punitive measures. Why so compassionate lately, inspectors? The Black Eyed Pea…
Houston Mardi Gras: What Does Galveston Think?
Last week came the announcement of a brilliant idea to start a Houston Mardi Gras. KHOU reported that promoter Jeri Brooks says the event “would pay homage to New Orleans but evolve into something that celebrates Houston’s diverse cultures through galas and parades with a world flavor,” which sounds…ummmm….good? She…
Tupac Shakur: Who Should Play Him In Upcoming Movie?
Think you’ve got what it takes to portray the embodiment of rap music? Let’s be honest: You probably don’t, but you can still throw your bandana in the ring and audition online for the starring role in an upcoming Tupac biopic. There’s no guarantee that the role will take your…
A Houston Mardi Gras? Galveston Doesn’t Sound Too Worried
We were out of town last week, so we missed the thrilling news that someone is planning a Houston Mardi Gras. KHOU reported that promoter Jeri Brooks says the event “would pay homage to New Orleans but evolve into something that celebrates Houston’s diverse cultures through galas and parades with…
The Power of Sound: William S. Burroughs and Music
There he is. Right next to Marilyn Monroe. Placed almost dead center among the wax figures and cardboard cut outs populating the cover of the classic 1967 album by The Beatles Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. The cut out of a man who with fellow artist and traveler Brion…
TV Party: Pay Attention and The Sheening!
On last night’s edition of my Newsfix segment “Between The Lines,” I vented about people who would rather play on their cellphones and update all ten of their social media outlets than have a cherished moment with their friends. It’s something even I grapple with in my own life. In…
Texas Is a Lying Junkie When it Comes to Buying Death-Penalty Drugs, Inmates Say
You know those guys who are masters at faking prescriptions or massaging paperwork in order to abuse their drug of choice? Texas might be a member of that club. Two TDCJ inmates are complaining to feds that the state’s paperwork shows the mandatory DEA registration number needed to purchase lethal-injection…
What’s with All the Fast Food Freak-Outs?
You’ve probably already seen the now-infamous footage of 31-year-old bikini-clad Kimesa Smith (dubbed “The BK Brawler”) leaping up on the counter and completely obliterating the interior of a Panama City Beach Burger King over a slow-coming Whopper Jr. and fries, a scene described by the cell phone videographer as “best…
Settle Down, Chris Brown: Songs To Temper A Hot Temper
Have you ever heard that phrase “When I do good, no one remembers; when I do bad, no one forgets”? This is the story of candy-rapper Chris Brown’s life the past few years since he beat the ever-loving shit out of ex-girlfriend Rihanna for no cognizant reason other than he…
Robert Alvarez: TV-Star Gang Cop Accused of Inmate Sex, Abuse of Power, Theft
If the producers of the History Channel’s documentary series Gangland are to be trusted, Edinburg police investigator Robert Alvarez was one of the top cops in the Rio Grande Valley. The 47-year-old was tapped as a starring talking head in Gangland’s episode on the Tri-City Bombers, the Valley’s most-feared street…
Off the Wall: A Road Trip to Crust Pizza Co.
This article from Katharine Shilcutt caused half the servers in downtown to lock up. There were plenty of hits and comments. The one from Jim Ayres stood out: “You’re right. Tomball supports Bootsie’s (along with many ITLers to be sure). The Woodlands may not be as diverse as some areas;…
Cover Story: For Love of the Game
When working on this week’s feature story, I was surprised at just how much help my background as a musician would help me, especially since I was writing about a sports radio station. Over the last 25 years, I’ve spent a lot of time in bars, recording studios and rehearsal…
Ukuleles: Suddenly The Hippest Instrument Going
Trends in music can be as prevalent – and subsequently fleeting – as they are in fashion. Though the eagerness to join trendy-indie bandwagons can be puzzling, music’s most recent instrumental trend, the ukulele, grabbed our attention, especially after SXSW. Among the dozens of SXSW-related showcase announcements that flooded our…
The Poison Pen Reading Series With a Touch of Poe
A “failed” novel by Edgar Allen Poe which turned out to have had a tremendous impact on American writers was the starting point for a book by one of three nationally significant authors featured in the Poison Pen Reading Series this month. . Not long ago, Mat Johnson, a faculty…
Cafe Mawal: Eating Outdoors Has Never Been So Attractive
Cafe Mawal — the subject of this week’s cafe review — is practically built for al fresco dining. Sure, you can grab a seat inside amongst the older folks playing backgammon or sit and stare at the flat-screen TV mounted to one wall, but why would you want to? Outside,…
Arturo Boada Files Suit Against His Former Restaurant, Arturo’s Uptown Italiano
Earlier this month, fans of Arturo’s Uptown Italiano were surprised to find that Chef Arturo Boada himself was leaving the popular restaurant to start his own venture. And while he’s busy redoing the old Bistro Don Camillo space for his new restaurant — Arturo Boada Cuisine — something else is…
Jerry Eversole: Ever-Smooth County Commissioner Skates Away
County Commissioner Jerry Eversole, who’s ruled his little piece of Harris County forever, has escaped yet again from allegations of having a rather loose interpretation of ethics rules. A federal jury could not come to a decision on whether Eversole took $100,000 in bribes from a contractor, and U.S. District…
Antonio Ortega Carranza, 56, Bayou Body Count No. 42
A westside man was shot and killed by two robbers Tuesday night, police say. Antonio Ortega Carranza, 56, and his wife had arrived home in the 1400 block of Murrayhill Drive about 9:20 p.m. “after closing their nearby taqueria stands,” HPD says. They were confronted in the driveway by four…
CB Kings Break Down The Dynamics Of Suburban Rap
The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place – lots of times, you’re even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good – so once a week we’re going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Something you always wanted to…
Dez Bryant’s Unpaid-For $800,000 Jewelry Spree: State Senator Royce West Offers Lamest Defense Ever
Dallas Cowboys receiver Dez Bryant, who is turning out to be the epitome of a Jerry Jones-era Cowboy, is being sued for somewhere around $800,000 in debts for jewelry and tickets and other stuff. He apparently entered an agreement to “buy” all the stuff while he was busy with his…
Brew Blog: Saint Arnold’s Divine Reserve #11
I’m not one to go running around the city, following hearsay and hashtags in search of beer. If I happen to be up and around the morning of a release, and in the vicinity of a store that might be stocking it, I’ll pop in and check it out. If…
“George Riffle”: East Texas Man Arrested Near Chicago for 1988 Rape of a Pre-Teen Girl
When George Riffle walked out onto the driveway of his modest home in suburban Chicago the morning of March 9, he got a rude surprise: U.S. Marshals and local police were waiting for him. They said they knew his name wasn’t really George Riffle, and that he was under arrest…
Total Recall: The Documentaries of Patricio Guzmán
Plenty of major doc-makers have dedicated themselves to being portraitists of their homeland, but no one has done it as relentlessly and righteously as Patricio Guzmán, for 35 years Chile’s defiant verité John the Baptist and activist laureate. Born in 1941 in Santiago and a comfortable middle-classer, Guzmán was enchanted…
Sammy Hagar: Red Rocker, Crue-Shaming Sex Machine
Red: My Uncensored Life in Rock By Sammy Hagar with Joel Selvin It Books, 256pp., $26.99 During the tour to support Van Halen’s For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge, singer/guitarist Sammy Hagar certainly took the record’s title to heart. Because just about every night during Eddie’s 20-minute guitar solo, Hagar would retreat…
The Four Best Final Fours of the “One Shining Moment” Era (w/ VIDEO)
Some of you mistook my piece on Monday as my not being excited for the Final Four this weekend in Houston. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I am incredibly excited to have the event here in our town, for a couple reasons: 1. I’m a Connecticut native, so…
Russell Simmons’ Debit Cards: Capitalism Or Exploitation?
Do you know what the last great consumer market is? It isn’t iPad users. It’s the opposite of your first instinct, people with disposable income. The last great consumer market, ladies and gentlemen, is the poor. And hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons knows this. He’s launching a new pre-paid debit card…
Salmon Spring Rolls at Mo Mong
After grabbing some terrific drinks at Anvil, the bar where the sun does NOT rise and set (thanks, Edgar), my husband and I decided to walk to a nearby restaurant for dinner. Sometimes, we like to abandon our vehicles and pretend we once again live in a pedestrian-friendly city. Sigh…
Appealing: “Donald Baechler: Sculptures and Paintings”
Like a kindergartner, Donald Baechler always seems like he’s painting with a brush that’s way too big. But the artist somehow manages to channel the “childlike” without getting hokey, and he’s offering up his appealingly lumpy work at McClain Gallery with “Donald Baechler: Sculptures and Paintings.” His series of flower…
Bacon and Eggs: 4 Ways
You really don’t have to do much with bacon and eggs to make them one of the best meals on earth. However, after a farmer friend of mine recently brought over dozens of fresh brown eggs and thickly sliced bacon, I realized that I was going to have a get…
Gertrude Barnstone Headlines Design Fair 2011’s Texas Co-Op
Gertrude Barnstone helped desegregate Houston schools in the 1960s, kicked it with Susan Sarandon in Nicaragua during the ’80s and was once married to the man who helped quell the drama over the Rothko Chapel construction. Beginning Friday, her sculptures will certainly hip some art-scene newbies to some blow-you-away work…
Last Night: Scott Stapp At House Of Blues
Scott Stapp House of Blues March 29, 2011 We all knew coming into this what would happen. It was going to be a show for the fans, not the smirking cynics. Fair enough. A Scott Stapp solo acoustic show is what it was billed as, but it was really a…
Comment of the Day: Oh, SNAP
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
One Man’s Predictions for This Baseball Season
Believe it or not, it’s time, yet again, for the Major League Baseball season to get underway. That’s good news for those of us who enjoy watching the best players in baseball play the best sport ever created. That’s bad news, however, for us Astros fans because, well, the Astros…
The End Of The Ocean: No Singers, No Fear Of Caligula
It’s a well-known fact that most band names are essentially gobbledygook, but here at Rocks off we’re trying hard to find meaning in the oddest monikers. Let’s be very clear about something. As a singer Rocks Off is not in favor of instrumental rock music. Rebecca Black’s “Friday” is proof…
Why We Can’t Be Friends on Facebook
Something interesting happened when social media started bearing down on us a few years back. We began to yearn for friends, and not the kind that you can call up on a Tuesday night for a bull session at the bar, or someone to watch your puppy when you leave…
Bring a Kleenex to The Miracle Worker
The setup By the time deaf, dumb and blind Helen Keller (Sydney Dunlap) has her hand forced under the water pump by her fierce teacher Annie Sullivan (Renata Santoro Smith) and finally connects the spelling of “water” to what is flowing over her hand, thereby connecting her to everything in…
Sampler Plate: This Week in Food Blogs
Each week, we put together a sampler plate of the most interesting links from both local and national food blogs. Know a blog we should be paying particular attention to? Leave the address in the comments section below. Chili Bob’s Houston Eats: “Bissonnet is one of our great food streets…
App of the Week: ESPN ScoreCenter
App: ESPN ScoreCenter Platforms: iPhone, Adroid Web site: Scorecenter.ESPN.com Cost: Free There are plenty of things to dislike about “the worldwide leader in sports.” Like any media behemoth, ESPN tends to fixate on the most bland and yet controversial of stories (cough…Brett Favre…cough). It also features the most marquee teams and match-ups (cough…Yankees vs…
Comment of the Day
Today Katharine Shilcutt wrote about the concept for Greatfull Taco in “Self-Described Elitist Asshole to Open Restaurant.” But one commenter – who goes by the gracious handle of Shut Up and Eat! – didn’t see what the big deal was: “Elitist asshole to open a restaurant?” Pfft. That business model’s…
Astronaut Catherine Coleman: New Video of Jamming in Space
Our sister blog Rocks Off was sent the above video, which premiered at SXSW, and we’re happy to pass it along in case you missed it over there. Astronaut Catherine Coleman is a flute player; as has been reported, she has flutes from Jethro Tull’s Ian Anderson and two of…
Avalon Calling: The Arthurian Myth In Pop, Goth And Metal
Rocks Off got a press release the other day extolling the upcoming sixth studio album by metal band Anaal Nathrakh. We had no idea what the hell it was, and thought it was one of those weirdly-spelled porn spams we seem to get so much. Luckily, our editor knew that…
Summer-Ready Salads
Since the warm weather hit, all I can think about is how I am going to cover up the damage I did this winter with comfort food when the inevitable first pool party or beach day invitation comes around. While I briefly considered investing in a burqini, I decided eating…
Texas High School Hockey Fight: Cheap Shots, Bloodthirsty Parents and a Broken Jaw
See it while you still can — video of the incredible ending of the Texas high school hockey championship up in Dallas. (Yes, they have high school hockey here. It’s a club sport, not part of the UIL.) Keller beat a team from Arlington 9-3, and as the final buzzer…
An Art Smackdown and Fund-Raiser from the Texan-French Alliance for the Arts
If the winner is French, he gets to come to Houston. If the winner is a Texan, then he’s on his way to France for three weeks of museum tours. Oh, and the kids at Texas Children’s have more money for art supplies during their hospital stays. Wednesday night, the…
Astronaut Plays Jethro Tull Flute In Space
Rocks Off has been trying to come up with a “space rock” joke all day, but we can’t, so we’ll just say this is pretty cool. Today we got an email from Austin nonprofit Dart Music International with a link to the above video, which premiered during SXSW. It’s astronaut…
Christopher Coker: Made Fake Walmart Receipts to Fool Friendly Greeters
The life of the semi-retired Walmart greeter: If you’re not getting choked because you asked to see a receipt, the receipt you get handed is a forgery allegedly and diabolically produced by a criminal-genius (alleged) meth head. But you still gotta keep a smile on your face. Law enforcement officials…
First Look at El Real Tex-Mex Cafe
“We had 1,000 covers on Friday night, then 1,200 covers last night,” an exhausted but happy-looking Bill Floyd told me when he stopped by our table at El Real Tex-Mex Cafe on Sunday evening. It was a little past 5 p.m., the doors to the place had just opened, and…
A Stunner: The Pearl Fishers at Opera in the Heights
The setup: Virgin priestess Leïla (soprano Abigail Dueppen, in her Opera in the Heights debut), veiled and mysterious, has been brought to the shores of ancient Ceylon by the pearl divers of the village. She is to pray for their safe and profitable expedition. This being a French opera from…
Best Broccoli in America
We know Houston has the best hamburger selection in the nation, and coming soon near you, the best real mojito north of Havana. A bigger surprise is that Houston has the best climate for growing rich and flavorful broccoli, and everyone I’ve served it to agrees that it’s the best…
Judge John Clinton: Five Better Reading Options Than Christian Books For Defendants
We were upset to see Harris County Criminal Court Judge John Clinton get pilloried by godless ACLU-types who had problems with him offering defendants the option of writing a book report on a “Scripture-based workbook.” After some criminal defense attorneys, and the ACLU’s Texas chapter, alleged that Clinton’s plan violated…
Incisive, Engaging “First Take: Okay Mountain”
Parodying self-help gurus, religious cults and creepy corporate “team building,” the Austin artist collective Okay Mountain has brought its incisive, yet engagingly goofball, work to the Blaffer Art Museum with “First Take: Okay Mountain.” In a projected video, a woman in grey-ish clothing speaks to you in hypnotically soothing tones,…
What Are The Best Houston Rap Songs So Far This Year?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday that isn’t a national holiday, Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. This Week’s Panel: Bun B, Propain, Devi Dev (97.9 The Box), Brad Gilmore, D-Risha, Delo, hasHBrown, Tawn-P, DJ Don, Brandon Caldwell,…
Jason Kresse: Freeport Man Has 375-Pound Shark Jump Into His Boat
Jason Kresse and a pal were dumping fish guts out of their boat into the Gulf about 4 a.m. yesterday, because apparently that’s something to do. They heard a thud, reports the Associated Press, and looked back to see that a 375-pound shark had jumped into their freaking boat…
Photos: Anvil’s First Annual Enthusiast Cocktail Competition
Customers from all walks of life — from IT professionals to aerospace engineers — competed last night in an unusual twist on a cocktail competition at Anvil Bar & Refuge. Although they were all cocktail enthusiasts, they were all also amateurs: No one with an industry background could enter. The…
Top 5: Fries
There’s been a lot of burger talk of late. It got me thinking about fries, and which place in our fine city has the best. Let’s take a look. 5. Five Guys Burgers and Fries I’m convinced that one day there will be nothing but Starbucks and Five Guys scattered…
Jerry Eversole Trial: Jury Deadlocked, So They Get Another Round of Final Arguments
Jerry Eversole: Getting his money’s worth out of Rusty Hardin.Jurors in the corruption trial of County Commissioner Jerry Eversole have told U.S. District Judge David Hittner they are deadlocked, so he has sentenced them to a second round of final arguments, according to media tweets from reporters on the scene…
GWAR Singer Vows To Swap Sex For Votes
What do you do when your band is up for a prestigious award against the likes of Rammstein, Iron Maiden and Megadeth? If you’re GWAR front “man” Oderus Urungus, you promise to get up close and personal (very personal) with anyone who votes for you. The Richmond, Va.-based scum-metal band…
Hi-Miler: Houston Attorney Calls for State Investigation of Rodeo Roller-Coaster Death
A Houston-area attorney says lax supervision of the Hi-Miler ride at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo made a fatal accident a “statistical certainty” and is calling for a state investigation. Attorney Joe Stephens sent a formal complaint to the Texas Department of Insurance calling for an investigation into operator…
Top 20 Despised, Yet Wildly Popular, Bands And Musicians
Scott Stapp, lead singer of Creed (above), stops at House of Blues tonight on his current acoustic tour. More than likely you have already clicked off this blog, or at least already gone on auto-pilot to call him a fuck-ass in the comments section. We’ll wait a sec for you…
Divis Garcia Ordonez, Antonio Leon: Escaped to Honduras After West Bellfort Murders, HPD Says
Two men who have been charged with a pair of murders at a West Bellfort apartment complex this month are believed to have escaped to Honduras, Houston police say. Divis Garcia Ordonez, 24, and Antonio Leon, 21, who also goes by George Celaya, are each charged with two counts of…
Self-Described “Elitist” “Asshole” Opening a Restaurant
Until last Friday, I thought that the press release I received last year for “the greatest penis shaped muffin restaurant” in Houston was the strangest piece of PR material to cross my desk. That was before Paul West. That was before Greatfull Taco. West is perhaps best known to our…
Music Biz Hopes Pearl Jam, Britney Continue Sales Uptick
It’s New Release Tuesday at record stores all over the country, and people are skipping work and playing hooky to get all their favorite new albums that they haven’t already stolen off torrent sites. According to a recent report, music sales have actually been up five weeks in a row…
Tuesday March 29, 2011 Deals of the Day
I’m a notorious bargain-hunter, and it drives my husband crazy. “We’re not grad students anymore,” he complains, as I scour the Internet for menu prices and coupon deals. I can’t help it; I love a good discount. And I’m more excited to check out online coupon websites in the morning…
March Fashion Madness: The Unfortunate Uniforms of the Final Four
College hoops fans from around the world will be watching the Final Four this weekend in Houston. Everyone wants to look good at the Big Dance, but unfortunately the four teams who’ve gotten this far were not selected on their fashion sense. The four uniforms that will be on display…
Final Four Fashion: What Not to Wear to the Big Dance
The Final Four have finally been determined, and one thing is clear: They were not chosen on the basis of the best-looking uniforms. Instead, wildly arbitrary standards such as “winning games” or some such thing were used to see who got their ticket punched to Houston. With two, not just…
Beyonce, Dad No Longer Client, Manager
Beyonce has severed business ties with her father and longtime manager since the days of Destiny’s Child, Mathew Knowles, according to a press release from Houston-based Music World Entertainment. “The decision for Beyonce and Music World Entertainment to part was mutual,” Mathew Knowles, Music World CEO, said in a statement…
Upcoming: 311, Britney Spears, Sade, Widespread Panic, Etc.
UPDATE (1 p.m.): Britney Spears will be back in July at Toyota Center; the Go-Go’s the month after that. 311, Sublime With Rome: Fri., Aug. 12. Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion. “B L A C K I E In 3D”: Thu., April 7. Warehouse Live. “The Bamboozle Roadshow” With Chiddy Bang,…
Becoming Kinky: Some Things Beat Being Governor
Check out our a slideshow from the play’s opening night. What a smooth, hilarious thing the opening and world premiere of Becoming Kinky: The World According To Kinky Friedman was Monday night at the Mucky Duck, with the Kinkster himself gazing on. By the time the first public performance was…
Willie Nelson’s Sentence: Sing “Blue Eyes” In Court
Readers will recall that Willie Nelson, red bandana and all, was stopped last November and arrested on charges of marijuana possession. We wrote a little something about it. Let’s try to forget that arresting Willie on possession charges of what officially amounts to under three ounces is ridiculous. What’s even…
The New York Times Takes Another Shot at the Cleveland Gang-Rape Story
Last Sunday, Bill Keller, executive editor of The New York Times, noted in his column that the paper’s original story on the horrific Cleveland gang rape was a “ham-handed article that led some readers to think we were blaming the 11-year-old victim.” He said “the only way to make amends…
Fast Times: Chick-fil-A’s Spicy Chicken Sandwich Deluxe
We’ll be taking a look at one different menu item each week from a selected fast food restaurant. Items can range from an old classic to a limited-time offering. Everything is fair game. In the world of fast food, Chick-fil -A’s Spicy Chicken Sandwich Deluxe is really about as good…
Top Five: Prison Films
This weekend, the Museum of Fine Arts Houston and KPFT’s “The Prison Show” will present the Prison Reform Film Festival, a series of movies about prison-related subjects. One of the films, Sweethearts of the Prison Rodeo (see the trailer above), is one of our favorite documentaries of last year. The…
Last Night: Becoming Kinky At The Mucky Duck
Becoming Kinky: The World According To Kinky Friedman McGonigel’s Mucky Duck March 28, 2011 Check out our a slideshow from the play’s opening night. What a smooth, hilarious thing the opening and world premiere of Becoming Kinky: The World According To Kinky Friedman was Monday night at the Mucky Duck,…
Hydrated Pasta, Hydrated Sauce
A few weeks ago, I was making risotto for dinner, using the pre-hydration method, which I’m so fond of for weeknight cooking. As I drained the Arborio rice from its bath of Sierra Nevada Glissade Golden Bock, now cloudy with starch washed from the surface of the grains, I had…
Dear Ms. Judd, Welcome to Houston
Dear Ashley, welcome to Houston. I’ll be in the press section, come find me.Dear Ms. Ashley Judd: I want to take this opportunity to welcome you to my hometown of Houston, Texas. Now I know you’ve visited our fine place before, especially several years ago when you were here with…
Pop Rocks: The Cinematic Origins Of “Getting Too Old For This Shit”
Time marches on. There comes a point in all of our lives when the inevitability of our eventual demise goes from esoteric concept to concrete fact. There’s no set schedule for when awareness will strike; maybe it’s the first time your back gives out, or when you find yourself squinting…
Pop Rocks: “Getting Too Old for This Shit” — A Cinematic History
Time marches on. There comes a point in all of our lives when the inevitability of our eventual demise goes from esoteric concept to concrete fact. There’s no set schedule for when awareness will strike; maybe it’s the first time your back gives out, or when you find yourself squinting…
30 Seconds With David Choi
Rocks Off sat down with Youtube sensation David Choi to see what we could learn about the man who gave us “YouTube, A Love Song” in 30 seconds. Rocks Off: What is the worst song in the world? David Choi: It just came out on YouTube recently, and I dread…
Comment of the Day: In Houston, It’s Machetes Instead of Samurai Swords
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
100 Creatives: Dolan Smith
(Part of our ongoing series profiling 100 Houston-area artists. No rankings; no order. Check back every Tuesday and Thursday for another edition.) What he does: You’ll never find a cutesy bouquet of roses or frolicking puppies in Smith’s work, which has ranged from depictions of suicides to animal mutilation. That’s…
Where Are We Drinking?
Even without its trademark gazebo in the shot, this shouldn’t be too difficult to guess for our downtown drinkers. Where are we boozing it up with a Manhattan this week? Leave your best guess in the comments section below…
Mom and Grandma Busted After Doughnut-Spinning Truck Almost Leads to Trailer Park Tragedy Near Lufkin
Tammy Kay Burch, 45, of Zavalla, and Robyn Elizabeth Reeves, 27, credit for good sense on that score.But not much else.KTRE reports that on the evening of March 18, the two women are alleged to have come up with a novel way to amuse their young charges: They decided to…
Final Four — R.I.P. College Basketball Regular Season
“See, BCS! This is how it’s done! College basketball, baby!!” — Any number of random tweeters after Virginia Commonwealth and Butler punched their tickets to the Final Four this weekend Yes, in a world plagued by war, unemployment and earthquakes, the manner in which college football determines its national champion…
Comment of the Day
Holy sh*t. We posted a Top 5 list, and the majority of readers…AGREED WITH IT. This comment from Bruce R on Geri Maria Harris’s list of her top Mexican restaurants was typical: GMH, I’m thinking maybe you nailed it and there will be no controversy at all. Yep, yep, yep,…
Antonio Gallegos Flores Sr.: Police-Chase Mastermind’s Family Nabbed, But He Eludes Cops
Antonio Gallegos Flores Sr. knows how to operate a complicated police chase. Even as you’re dropping kids off willy-nilly along the way and telling them to make a run for it, the important thing is that you stay free while they get picked up. Police are looking for Flores in…
Ingredient of the Week: Celeriac
What is it? One thing it isn’t, is attractive. This bulbous, brown monstrosity is actually the root of a type of celery plant, although it isn’t the same type as the ones we buy the stalks of in the grocery stores. It was specifically bred to create a large, bulky…
Saturday Night: Southern Culture On The Skids At The Continental Club
Southern Culture on the Skids Continental Club March 26, 2011 Finger lickin’: It’s not just for fried chicken anymore. This past weekend, Southern Culture on the Skids packed up the eight-piece box and headed down to Texas from Soul City, N.C., as they’ve done each spring for the past several…
Don’t Mess With the Swamplot, Local Real Estate Agent Learns
Patti Mace is a local real estate agent, and like many she has a Web page and a blog. Today Gus Allen of the popular Swamplot site noticed Mace’s content looked familiar. As in complete reprinting of Swamplot items with no attribution or links. Allen tweeted “My name is @PattiMace,…
Stromboli vs. Calzone: The Great Debate
Of all the culinary conundrums, the one that plagues me the most is the difference between a calzone and a stromboli. Growing up I thought the main difference was that stromboli is typically rolled and made with cold cut-type meat, while a calzone is folded over and made with anything…
One Night with Glenn Beck: A Twitter Diary
Glenn Beck was in Houston on Friday for a stop on his current speaking tour, dubbed the “Glenn Beck Live On Stage!” tour; it was everything I hoped it would be, with a few twists and turns. As an observer of most things Tea Party and conservative-related, I had high…
Kendrick Alridge: Pretends to be Rice Student Just to Debate Conservatives
Kendrick Alridge saw that the Rice Young Democrats were going to debate the Rice Conservative Forum, so he signed up to be on the lefties’ team. One problem: He wasn’t a Rice student. Or, to be more exact in terms of what he was telling other students, he wasn’t a…
Ballistics On Preemo’s Magic Bullet Come Back Remarkable
On January 20 of last year, Rocks Off first discovered an unsigned Houston artist by the name of Preemo. When we stumbled upon him on MySpace, he was an unknown. Amazing what a year will do. For all intents and purposes, Houston’s Preemo had seen his better years as a…
Robert Salyer: Attacks Stepdaughter’s Boyfriend With Samurai Sword
Nueces County JailRobert Salyer takes some lip.There are no tears in Robert Salyer’s dojo. Neither does this 40-year-old Corpus Christi ninja tolerate domestic disturbances involving his stepdaughter and her boyfriend. Police there say that Salyer brought to a close a squabble between the two lovebirds — both of whom live in…
A Weekend of Art at Project Row Houses and Beyond
This past Saturday was a busy one in Houston for the visual arts with up to a dozen galleries showing new work. The usual suspects were conspicuous on Colquitt Street’s “Gallery Row.” And we’ll get there, but the day began at Project Row Houses with a group show “Round 34:…
Sundae Sundays: Yogurtland
Must a sundae by definition contain ice cream? Um, probably yes. But this Sunday I made an exception for a creation I made at Yogurtland. I was simultaneously craving soft-serve ice cream and sundaes, but a bout of laziness prevented me from seeking out a place that would satisfy both…
Hold Steady, Panic!, Pat Green Round Out Big Dance Lineup
This weekend Houston gets invaded by college basketball like never before as the Final Four takes over Reliant Stadium and Discovery Green for a slew of concerts and parties for the folks coming into town for the games and us locals alike. Starting on Friday afternoon, Discovery Green will become…
Eating Our Words Burger Bracket: The Final Four
Yesterday, a scrappy underdog team from Virginia Commonwealth University upset the top-seeded Kansas Jayhawks to advance to the NCAA Final Four here in Houston, blowing many people’s college basketball brackets entirely to hell. Well, burger fans, prepare to have your 2011 Burger Bracket shot to hell, too. In a stunning…
Sorry, Aggies: College Station Gets a “D”
Aggies may love their College Station, but the Daily Beast doesn’t: The national Web site gives the city a “D” in its rankings of America’s smartest college towns. College Station, you’re no Cambridge or Berkeley. On the bright side, you’re not South Bend, either: The home of Notre Dame got…
What a Crock: Melt-in-Your-Mouth Meatloaf
I had never heard of cooking meatloaf in a crock pot. When I found this recipe, I was intrigued, especially after reading the positive reader reviews. I just had to give it a try. The rundown It’s meatloaf! What the heck is not to like about meatloaf? Best part–I had…
Saturday Night: House Of Pain At Warehouse Live
House of Pain, Big B Warehouse Live March 26, 2011 See more jumping around from Warehouse Live Saturday in our slideshow. Walking up to Warehouse live Saturday night, Aftermath wasn’t sure what to expect of House of Pain’s Houston reunion stop. We heard through the grapevine, “it had been moved…
Volunteering in Houston Just Got Easier
If you’ve been eagerly awaiting a chance to volunteer but couldn’t figure out how, you’ve just lost that excuse. Mayor Annise Parker unveiled a new program and Web site today called Houston SERVICE which highlights opportunities and makes it easier to get info on them. The Web site, and a…
The Best Nude Scenes Of The Past Ten Years (NSFW)
The past cinematic decade has been pretty naked, if we must say. Blame having to compete with the Internet and cable television for the increasing proclivity to nudity among many mainstream actors and actresses. That, and perverted screenwriters who could write a steamy shower scene into a movie about Abraham…
Saturday Night: SPEAK 4 At Mango’s
SPEAK 4 feat. Nosaprise & Screw Tapes, A.D.D., Twenty Eleven, Parking and Fat Tony Mango’s March 26, 2011 Aftermath’s Saturday afternoon was spent at the beach doing some voluntary biological exploration, which actually consisted more of poking at washed up Manowars with a stick. Needless to say, we were relieved…
Boiling Bugs at Moon Tower Inn
If there were ever a place built to host crawfish boils, it’s Moon Tower Inn. People stretched languidly across the lawn in chairs brought from home, puppies and little kids roamed across the grass and folks sweated out one of the first muggy weekends of the year yesterday afternoon with…
Unidentified Male, Bayou Body Count No. 41
The body of a man who had walked “for some distance” after being stabbed repeatedly was found in a westside apartment complex Sunday morning, police say. A resident of the complex, in the 1600 block of Blalock, discovered the body lying in the center of an open area about 7:30…
Lawndale Studio Program Accepting Applications
For studio-less artists, this is an absolute dream. Lawndale Art Center, 4912 Main Street, recently announced the details on its 2011-2012 Artist Studio Program. Initiated in 2007, the residency will allow three lucky-duck artists to post up in their own digs for nine months on Lawndale’s third floor. There’s also…
Friday Night: Devo At Warehouse Live
Devo Warehouse Live March 25, 2011 See more peek-a-boo pics of Devo, openers Octopus Project and their fans in our slideshow. When Aftermath first heard Devo’s latest album, Something for Everybody, we listened with a cringe. It had been 20 years since the band had released a new album, and…
Daniel Frishberg: Houston’s “MoneyMan” Settles With SEC
Breaking news: There is something called “BizRadio” in Houston, as far as we can tell on 1110 AM, and its big personality is Daniel “The MoneyMan” Frishberg. More breaking news: Frishberg has just settled a complaint from the SEC and will be reimbursing investors $65,000 for money invested in the…
Joey Martin, 15, Growing Into Role As Teen Guitar Hero
One minute is all it took for Joey Martin to get comfortable onstage. As he began playing a five-minute guitar solo at Westfield’s by the Railroad Saturday night, he looked a little nervous, but after only 60 seconds, he slowly picked his foot up, placed it on top of his…
Dynamo Escape With a Tie in Seattle
Friday night was a tough one for the Houston Dynamo, but they still managed to earn a 1-1 road draw against Seattle Sounders FC. It wasn’t a pretty game for the Orange, as they struggled to maintain possession throughout the match. The Dynamo stunned the crowd of 36,000 at Qwest…
Eating Good in the Neighborhood at Sakura Japanese Steakhouse
When a trusted friend from the Inner Loop of Houston recommends a restaurant in Pearland to me, I listen. As such, I found myself heading down FM 518 to sample Sakura Japanese Steakhouse. My friend had advised me to try some of the sushi rolls, which he likened to those…
The Week in TV
Boxers are out, sheriffs are in, and DJ Roomba lives on. This was the week in TV Land: • Entourage is heading into its eight and final season, which means it’s lasted longer than Arrested Development, Freaks and Geeks and Veronica Mars combined. While you reflect on that, chew on…
Rockets Playing Well Under the Radar
Houston’s three major sports franchises have spent the last few seasons in the equivalent of purgatory. None have been good enough to contend for a title, but none have been horrid enough to elicit the types of changes usually seen from teams bottoming out. It’s a frustrating place to be…
Top 5: Mexican Restaurants
If Kevin Shalin’s Top 5 Sandwiches was controversial, it will probably have nothing on my picks for the best Mexican eateries in a town where fajitas and ‘ritas reign supreme. Although I have no Mexican blood in my heritage, like many Houstonians, I was raised on a taco- and enchilada-heavy…
Last Night: Miss Mykie’s Love Repair Premiere
6:14 p.m.: Tonight (Sunday), tiny R&B dynamo Miss Mykie will debut the movie version of her enjoyable and dexterous recent EP, Love Repair. They’re being a bit liberal with the term “movie” – it’s really an eleven minute music video – but still, it’s a pretty neat thing. At the…
Rachmaninoff: An X-Man Before The First Class
Sergei Rachmaninoff, who died on this day in 1943, was a Russian-born composer and absolutely incredible pianist. As a composer he’s mostly known for his stunning concertos and Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini, but it was as a pianist that he was uncanny. Even Anton Rubinstein, who we have…
Comment of the Day: Victoria Secret Hates the Astros
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
The Aeros Are This Close to Clinching a Playoff Spot
John RoyalJed Ortmeyer providing the team leadershipIt was a playoff atmosphere inside of Toyota Center this weekend as the Houston Aeros battled the Oklahoma City Barons in a rare three-games-in-three-nights situation which saw the Aeros playing all three games at home against the same team. The playoff atmosphere arose because…
Review: Easter Catechism
The Setup: When a show is semi-scripted, with ample audience participation, a lot depends on the stage presence of the m/c, and Easter Catechism is fortunate indeed to have Denise Fennell filling that role. I had the experience for six years of being taught by nuns in primary school, so…
Where Are We Eating?
A bowl of steaming hot wonton soup up front, a plate full of savory chicken and broccoli bringing up the rear: It’s the old Chinese comfort food one-two punch. But where are we indulging in these favorite dishes? Does this look familiar to you? Leave your best guess in the…
Owls Baseball Falling Prey to Injuries
John RoyalMichael Ratterree makes the throw to first for an early out on Saturday.The Rice Owls are not in a good place. One could sense that on Saturday afternoon when the Owls took the field only to find that day’s scheduled DH, Shane Hoelscher, taking throws at third base instead…
Musicians Gather To Remember Dreambreaker Stephen Adams
This evening, Houston’s Picture Book will headline a tribute to former local musician Stephen Adams, a member of the Dreambreakers who passed away from chronic pulmonary disease last month. Adams, 57, suffered a stroke in 2005 and had been living in a rehabilitation center in E. St. Louis, Ill., since…
More Local Music News Than Open Drummer Jobs
Magnolia City Mixtape might have taken the week off in order to cover SXSW last week, but Houston’s music scene kept right on rolling. That means that we’ve got not one, but two full weeks of news wrapped up in this installment. For our soundtrack this week, we’ve a brand-new…
Recalibrated Final Four Scenarios (and Jim Rome on a Mobile)
By the time you read this space on Monday, we will know which four lucky schools have qualified for the Final Four and are headed to Houston to enjoy our weather, our ladies and our Tex-Mex. (I can now include “ladies” because BYU has been eliminated from the tournament. Houston…
A Busy Thursday Night On The Underground-Rap Circuit
Thursday, everyone in Houston was having some sort of music-related event. R&B singer and former Artist of the Week Deandre Wright had a release party for her newest project. Jermaine Dupri and his creepy teeth were apparently in town throwing a party. Mr. Manchild, Mr. Dawg and Mr. Thugga were…
Metro Prepares for Final Four Onslaught
Beginning next Thursday, college basketball fans will begin descending on Houston for the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, held at Reliant Stadium. In addition to the games, there is a fan festival at George R. Brown Convention Center, a series of concerts featuring bands like Kings of Leon at Discovery Green…
This Week in Deliciousness
Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where we’re starting to think that Aspartame is a pretty cool name for a baby. True story: A girl with whom we once shared an office with whose name was Cyndi used to go by Cyn, and whenever anyone…
Comment of the Day
You know how to screw up in this world? Order a drink containing vodka. Just don’t do it, and especially not at Anvil, as you can see in this story on CultureMap. Coincidentally, in the comments section of Joanna O’Leary’s post about the Corpse Reviver at Mockingbird Bistro, one reader,…
SBOE Member Lawrence Allen Doesn’t Live in the District
Lawrence Allen Jr. might be convinced to the contrary, but the state agency that oversees redistricting confirms the seven-year member of the State Board of Education no longer lives within the boundaries of his own district. Allen is the voice of much of the urban Houston area and one of…
Johnny Jolly: Troubled Packer, Former Aggie Busted Again for Purple Drank
Johnny Jolly is in a heap of shit. With a 2008 felony drug case still unresolved, the former Texas A&M standout has added another today. The troubled Green Bay Packer defensive end was pulled over just after midnight Friday. Police claim to have found 600 grams of codeine in a…
The Odd Afterlife Of House Of Pain’s “Jump Around”
A couple of weeks ago, Rocks Off told our younger brother, eight years our junior, that we were interviewing legendary ’90s hip-hop group House of Pain. He gave us a confused look. So we started singing: “Jump around. Jump around. Jump up and up and get down.” “Oh yeah, the…
TV Party: Worst Decade Ever?
This “Between The Lines” clip was filmed right when I first started taping these things, so I am not quite making love to the camera like I will be in the future. You would be surprised how hard it is to be engaging with a huge white light in your…
Fish Sandwich Fridays: Lucky Burger
In honor of Lent and in an attempt to revive my own (lapsed) Catholicism, I will be reviewing a fish sandwich (loosely defined) each Friday from a local Houston restaurant. Sorry, Mickey D’s fans: no Filet-o-Fish. Feel free to send in your suggestions even if you’re not a Fish Eater…
First Vanity, Now Insurrection: Jane Eyre, That Girl, and Miley Cyrus
Scene from Jane Eyre (1944) directed by Robert Stevenson with an uncredited Elizabeth Taylor. It shouldn’t be a surprise that 2011 has brought us yet another film adaptation of Charlotte Brontë’s 1847 proto-feminist novel Jane Eyre. The story of a young girl shaped by hardship, taking control of her destiny…
Jonathan Hall: Convicted of Sexual Assault, Claims He Wanted to Rape Arresting Officer
As YouTube celeb Antoine Dodson might say, “Hide yo kids. Hide yo wife, ’cause they be rapin’ everybody up in here.” In the case of Jonathan Hall, the 23-year-old Missouri City man sentenced to 30 years in prison for sexually assaulting a 69-year-old man, he was definitely going to try…
Houston Restaurant Week Could Become Houston Restaurant Month
Along with nearly everyone else in the city who participated in last year’s super-extended Houston Restaurant Week, we joked that — at this rate — the organizers were going to have to rename it Houston Restaurant Month. Now, it appears that may happen. Cleverley Stone, host of The Cleverley Show…
Taylor Swift Coming To Minute Maid Park November 5
Taylor Swift added a new batch of dates to her Speak Now tour this week, with the pop-country idol and increasingly powerful media giant coming to Minute Maid Park on November 5. If we remember correctly, the last artist to fill up the Juice Box was Madonna back in November…
The Frighteningly Funny Photography of Marvin Zindler
Last night at the Museum of Printing History, some very nice folks got together to witness a few stabbings, some hijackings, more than a couple beaten wives, a kidnapping or two, a pistol-packing barkeep, a heroin bust, a attempted suicide, a raid on a titty show, and several bloody corpses…
The Secret to Great Enchiladas Is Patience
Making enchiladas is more a test of stamina and endurance than culinary prowess. The ingredients are simple and few, and there’s not much fancy footwork required. That said, anyone who regularly makes a South of the Border variety of the dish deserves your utmost respect and admiration. It is a…
Santiago Martinez Jr.: The Wahoo King
Urban Dictionary defines the term “wahoo” like this: “To approach the alcohol isle calmly, grab a case of beer and run the hell out like there’s no tomorrow.” San Antonio’s Santiago Martinez Jr. is the King of the Wahoo, or “El Rey del Guaju,” if you’re feeling all Spanglish. Let’s…
Eminem’s Victory Over Label Could Have Far-Reaching Effects
Eminem quietly scored a major victory in a case involving download royalties this week. The U.S. Supreme Court threw out an appeal filed by Universal Music Group, the world’s largest music empire, against Eminem’s former production company F.B.T. Productions. Eminem is signed to Interscope Records via Aftermath Entertainment, which is…
Flummoxed Radiohead Fans Start Support Group
Next week will see the physical release, both vinyl and compact disc, of Radiohead’s new album The King of Limbs. The album was released online a little over a month ago on the band’s website to nearly universal acclaim from longtime fanatics and at least a passing reverence from fair-weather…
Ginger Rap Song Fights Spread Of “Rojophobia”
If you’re like Rocks Off you woke up this morning hung over with a broken hand and not enough Cadbury Crème Eggs, and while that is not the most promising start of a day we took comfort in the fact that no one was going to make us stare at…
Davon Stewart: Beery Melee Among Deaf Friends Ends in Gnawed Ear, Injured Leg, Flight from Cops
Relatively few of us get into fistfights as adults, or get run over by trucks. Fewer still of us bite off a chunk of someone’s ear or flee the cops in a wheelchair. In the history of mankind, perhaps only Davon LeShannon Stewart has done all four of those things…
Forget Joan: A New Version of Mildred Pierce Stays Close to the Text
This week’s big movie may be found on TV. Arch-independent filmmaker Todd Haynes makes a characteristically sidelong move toward the mainstream with his five-part miniseries Mildred Pierce, which starts this Sunday on HBO. Haynes, the most academic yet mass-culture-minded of U.S. indie directors, began his career in the late Reagan…
Shiftwork Bites: Adventures in Bunn-Poaching
Last weekend, my business unit moved across downtown to a new office. We actually have a lot more space in our new digs, including the kitchen. Unfortunately, I was on night-shift the day they moved everything out, including my meager Batterie de Cuisine. Shiftwork Bites is a study in making…
Lawsuit Filed Against Rodeo After Man Dies on Roller Coaster
The death of 46-year-old Brian Greenhouse, who plummeted from the Hi-Miler roller coaster on closing night of the rodeo last Sunday, is the centerpiece of a lawsuit filed late yesterday in Harris County court. The wrongful death lawsuit, filed on behalf of Greenhouse’s mother, father and son, asks the Houston…
Openings & Closings
The closure of Dolce Vita in the Woodlands after only a matter of months prompted some serious discussion on the food blog earlier this week. Does Marco Wiles hate the suburbs? That’s unlikely, and taking it a bit far. But the idea that not every concept is a fit for…
Reviews For The Easily Distracted: Sucker Punch
Title: Sucker Punch Go On, Get It Out Of Your System: “The only Sucker is the audience!” “Sucker Punch sure lives up to its title!” “At least it’s better than a ‘Donkey Punch’!” Feel Better? I do. Thanks. Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: One-and-a-half Freddie Mercuries out…
It Had To Happen: Lady Gaga Goes Country
Lady Gaga’s impending appearance at Toyota Center – two weeks, y’all – has been on the calendar for so long, and sold out for so long, Rocks Off Sr. has practically forgotten about it. We have let most of the Lady’s pop tornado whoosh right by us to the willing…
Remember Kritikal’s Late Nights, Early Mornings?
Houston’s history is dotted with albums that, fairly or not, have been swept aside. We’ll examine them here. Have an album that you think nobody knows about but should? Email sheaserrano@gmail.com. Kritikal Late Nights, Early Mornings (Self-Released, 2010) Kritikal (pronounced Kriti-cal) raps exactly like you’d hope a guy born in…
Animal-Mutilation Film Screens Tonight Near Rice U.
Just in case the online version of Farm to Fridge – The Truth Behind Meat Production wasn’t enough for you, go check out the animal-abuse document on giant screens tonight (Friday). We’ll be waiting here with barf bags. As was previously reported by Hair Balls, Mercy for Animals (MFA) is…
Odd Pair: Strawberry Shortcake and Sauternes
Katharine Shilcutt’s piece on strawberries, complete with luscious photos of the ruby-red fruit, instilled a craving for strawberry shortcake into my easily influenced brain. Since I usually pass on dessert during the weekdays, I opted to outsmart myself and make strawberry shortcake for dinner. Ha ha! Loophole! I baked up…
Community: My Dinner With Abed
“Critical Film Studies” crushed it on just about every level last night. Community has always endeavored to stay one step ahead of the viewer in terms of expectations, specifically when it comes to the homages, metafiction, and general attempts to blur the line between realities. Last season, that led to…
Top 10 Musical Scenes In Quentin Tarantino Films
Sunday, Quentin Tarantino, one of the best modern film directors not named Uwe Boll, turns 48 years old. It’s hard to believe the beloved hipster director has now been on the public radar for almost 20 years, with his feature-length debut and breakout movie Reservoir Dogs turning the big 2-0…
Five Former Houston Rockets’ Garage Sales We’d Like to Attend
With an NBA lockout looming this offseason, current players should take note of the financial misery of former Houston Rocket and future Hall of Famer Scottie Pippen. Once the right-hand man of Michael Jordan, Pippen has fallen into such difficult financial straits, he has had to hold a garage sale…
Chef Chat, Part 3: Kristen Powell of Simone on Sunset
This week, we caught up with Chef/Owner Kristen Powell of Simone on Sunset, the new Rice Village wine bar that’s serving up more than just vino. Check out our conversations here and here. Today, we’ll sample some of the menu items. Chef Powell first brought out some of the Truffle…
Idol Beat: Mass Hysteria!
Shock! Outrage! Shenanigans! Casey Abrams voted off! Last night, American Idol had all the signs of the Apocalypse rolled into one (all the Ghostbusters ones, anyway). Dogs and cats living together? Well, James Durbin is like a big puppy dog, and Pia has a certain cattiness about her. Check. 40…
Yoga Fuel: Green Plum Kitchen Protein Trio
First let me say YES, I realize this dish is 99.9 percent brown. The Protein Trio from Monica Pope’s Green Plum Kitchen that I picked up at the Urban Harvest City Hall Farmers Market (Wednesdays 11 a.m. – 2 p.m.) might be a tad monochromatic, but it’s healthy, light and…
Comment of the Day: Video Poker Edition
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
March 19-25: The Week in Photos
Each week, we take a dip into the Houston Press Flickr pool and see what our talented photographers have been up to. We want to see your springtime pictures. Just drop them in our photo group right here. As always, for more information on a subject or photographer, just click…
The United States Of Women In Music
Rocks Off is no He-Man Woman Hater’s Club. We like women quite a bit, actually, especially those women brave enough to wade through the rivers of bullshit in the male-dominated music business. If you’ll page back a few weeks, you’ll remember the discussion of our favorite female artists from the…
Victoria’s Secret? She Hates the Astros
Heidi Won’t Touch The AstrosThe Houston Astros are getting absolutely zero respect as the season prepares to open. The organization has been called one of the worst in baseball. The farm system is ranked 26th. The major league club is picked to be one of the worst in the game…
Unidentified Male, Bayou Body Count No. 40
What is it with people trying to cross the freeway on foot lately? In case you were unaware, this is a really, really bad idea. A man in his 50s died on Tuesday trying to make his way across the South Loop and now this. An unidentified man was struck…
Upcoming Events
Starting this Saturday, there are plenty of inexpensive ways to get your gourmet on in Houston this week, and it all kicks off at Block 7 Wine Company. Fresh off last night’s wine dinner featuring acclaimed Italian winemaker Ezio Trinchero, Block 7 Wine Company will continue to host both Trinchero…
Unidentified Male, 50-55, Bayou Body Count No. 39
It’s never a good idea to try and cross a freeway on foot. No matter how fast your 40 time was in high school, you’re the decided underdog here, especially if you aren’t in your teens as is the case with a man in his 50s who was struck by…
NCAA Sweet Sixteen Central
It’s generally accepted that the first two full days of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament provide the greatest two-day watching/gambling/drinking/eating experience annually, for obvious reasons: 1. Whether by illness, approved vacation, or planned surgery (In 2002, I scheduled my vasectomy for the first Thursday of the tournament. Fact.), it is…
Comment of the Day
Marco Wiles abruptly closed his new location of Dolce Vita in the Woodlands, and Katharine Shilcutt wrote about it, opening a floodgate of emotion on pizza, foodies, the suburbs and artichokes. (Have we mentioned we love you guys?) Albert Nurick, who often writes about Woodlands restaurants on his own blog,…
HISD Trustees Ask for More Data Before They Make Tough Decisions
It was another lengthy trek through the budget for Houston ISD trustees this morning as board members considered good news — the shortfall from the state may be several million dollars less than first thought (but still a lot) — and not so great: employee positions will still have to…
Professor Fish Heads Wants to Give You an Education
P.J. Stoops, also known by his blogging name as “Professor Fish Heads,” wants to educate you about fish. And not just the same old salmon, tuna and tilapia you see at the store, either. Stoops once had an independent fishmonger booth at the Bayou City Farmers Market, but that was…
Got A Smartphone? Get Our Best Of App
You totally trust Houston Press to help you find the best margaritas in town, the best place to watch wildlife in this urban jungle of ours, and the best place to be glad you’re alive, right? Now we can help you make the most of 31 other cities, thanks to…
Best of Houston Just Got Better
You totally trust Houston Press to help you find the best margaritas in town, the best place to watch wildlife in this urban jungle of ours, and the best place to be glad you’re alive, right? Now we can help you make the most of 31 other cities, thanks to…
Dining Deals in Houston
Times are tight, and we’re all looking for ways to pinch a penny here and there. But the current recession has led to the meteoric rise in online coupon sites, offering fantastic savings of up to 90 percent on everything from clothing to Caribbean vacations – and of course, dining…
Keep Austin Weird: CultureMap to Invade the State Capital
We at Hair Balls have never been much for the socialite set, but we know that there are a fair number of them in Houston, which is why the existence of CultureMap is not really all that surprising. There needs to be an outlet that covers galas and general hobnobbing…
Screeching Weasel & Other Notable Onstage Flameouts
In the wake of lead singer Ben Weasel’s bust-up with some female fans at Screeching Weasel’s SXSW showcase last week at Austin’s Scoot Inn, the other members of the band have agreed to go their separate ways, splintering what had been a triumphant past year that included a handful of…
Art Rocks This Friday at House of Blues
There seems to be a bit of confusion on the Internet and ticket vending websites over exactly what is taking place at the House of Blues on Friday night. If you’re a fan of a band called The Dirty Colors out of Minneapolis, we’re sorry to inform you that they…
Five Rules MetroRail Should Consider Adding
Houstonians are generally an amiable folk. We have a reputation for being friendly almost to a fault. So, when we read about the controversy stirred up in New York City over a video of a fight between a subway rider eating spaghetti and another rider who was none too pleased…
Dark Side of the Moon: Best Blockbuster Album Ever?
Dark Side of the Moon, Pink Floyd’s seminal album about mental illness, the inevitability of death, and anxiety born of living in modern society, turns 38 today. It remains one of the most successful… Wait a minute? DSotM is 38 years old? How is that possible? It seems like just…
Chef Chat, Part 2: Kristen Powell of Simone on Sunset
Yesterday, we caught of up with Kristen Powell, the chef/owner of Simone on Sunset. We discussed her new place and the difficulties of starting a business. Today, we’ll focus on the food and wine. EOW: This is a wine place — are you good at pairing wines with foods? KP:…
Vermicomposting: Trash and Worms Are an All-Star Team
A few weekends ago, I helped my mother set up an indoor vermicomposting bin. By “helped,” of course, I mean that I watched and bothered her with questions. She finally sat me down with a DVD she’d purchased on the subject (the woman is serious about her gardening) and was…
Conroe Man Gets 99 Years for 16th DWI
When a person gets a DWI, most assume it serves as a lesson that perhaps he should not drink and drive. A second DWI might suggest this person should consider counseling for an alcohol addiction. But, when a man gets 16 DWIs, that man goes to prison. Such is the…
Recasting MTV’s Daria With Real-Life Musicians
There was once a brighter time in the history of MTV when the network occasionally played interesting animated series and occasionally even music videos. Now, instead of Daria, there’s Snooki; instead of Beavis and Butt-Head, there’s The Situation and Pauly D. Growing up, Daria (1997-2002) was one of our favorite…
Video Pick: Five Pick-Up Artists Explain the Meaning of Life
Kristina Wong is a performance artist who sheds humorous light on topics she knows from first-hand experience. Rather than fixing wrongs with easy answers, she aims to “further complicate the question by making the invisible visible, and hopefully, creating some space for public discourse.” In 2006, she created Wong Flew…
BARC Inaugural Adopt-A-Thon Saturday
Are you a big fan of dog parks, but are tired of the sideways glances you get just because you show up without a dog? Do you have a closet full of gigantic balls of yarn, with no cats to wage war upon them? There is no better time to…
Mexican Breakfast at Merida
Merida on Navigation has a sign hanging outside the restaurant these days, advertising its new breakfast specials. I had thought that Merida always served breakfast, but stopped in last weekend anyway to check out the “new” stuff. In honor of Rodeo season, all of the waitstaff were wearing their somewhat…
Mantis: Prolific Internet Phantoms Surface Hungry
Two months ago, we happened across a performance by Mantis, an eagerly funky and inwardly quirky indie-rock band we’d heard mentioned but never actively sought out. Their show, in short, was quite remarkable, an effort spearheaded by vocalist/keyboardist/bow-tie enthusiast Nick Greer. Writing this column for a couple of years now,…
Word to Local Commies: Fear the Wrath of Khon
I’ll take “People With No Sense of Historical Perspective” for $500, Alex… That’s about all you can say when you hear what happened yesterday at Khon’s, a funky wine bar/art dive/darts hot-spot in Little Saigon. Proprietor Khon Lu says a woman came in and asked to host an event touring…
Bourbon Tasting with Fred Noe at Gravitas
Fred Noe has bourbon in his blood. The great-grandson of Jim Beam, Noe has continued his family’s tradition by running the production of Jim Beam bourbons as well as those vended under the brands Knob Creek, Bakers, and Basil Hayden’s. On a recent warm spring evening, Noe hosted a bourbon…
Jason Wise: Tumblebrutus Speaks About Being a Cat in Cats
Actor Jason Wise has never been hired to play a human. He was a penguin who danced the Charleston in an off-Broadway production of Irma la Douce; a tumbling monkey in a Disney cruise ship production of Toy Story 3 the Musical, and for the last two years he’s been…
Food Fight: Spicy Peanuts
The peanut occupies a strange and remarkable place in our national consciousness. It’s not a true nut (it’s a legume, like lentils and peas), but might as well be for purposes of food allergies and supermarket inventory. It’s not American, but might as well be for purposes of popular culture,…
Idol Beat: Detroit Schlock City
In spite of Idol Beat’s absence last week (I was undergoing treatment for nose hemorrhoids), Fox’s karaoke juggernaut steamrollered on, topping the ratings once again for Wednesday and Thursday night. Last week’s casualty, MySpace’s Karen Rodriguez, wasn’t much of a surprise. I mean, the bilingual thing was cute and all,…
Tony Arata: The Dirt On “The Dance” And Four Other Hits
This weekend, Conroe’s Crighton Theater hosts another big-time writers in the round song-swap with Lee Roy Parnell, Tony Arata and J.D. Souther. Looking at their songwriting credits, which include “Love Without Mercy,” “We All Get Lucky Sometimes,” “On the Road,” “Best of My Love,” “New Kid in Town,” “Heartache Tonight,”…
Unidentified Male, 20, Bayou Body Count No. 38
Houston roads are never the safest places and there have been several recent traffic fatalities as proof. Tuesday night, around 10:50 p.m., the unidentified male victim, 20, ran a red light in his Ford Taurus in the 6700 block of the West Sam Houston Parkway North service road. A black…
Patricia Mancuso Janowski: $1.5M in Embezzled Funds Gambled Away in Quick-E Mart’s Poker Machine, Police Say
They might not be willing to admit, but you have to just know that the proprietors of the Klein Food Mart on Louetta Road just loved it when they would see Pat Janowski pull up in the strip mall parking lot. Like them, you might even not be above giving…
Gear Up For Crawfish Season
Mardi Gras has come and gone, which means that crawfish season is now in full swing. The weather is warming up, and the price per pound for live crawfish is stabilizing (except for fluctuations in fuel prices). You, my friends, stand on the cusp of a decision: a) spend this…
The Seven Most Memorable Rap Beatdowns
When pop stars and Hollywood types need to settle a score, they take it to the courtroom. Hip-hop, however, operates by a different code: If you act up, you will get smacked up. Rocks Off was reminded of this when a man recently filed suit claiming that our friend Slim…
Idol Beat: Detroit, Shlock City
In spite of Idol Beat’s absence last week (I was undergoing treatment for nose hemorrhoids), Fox’s karaoke juggernaut steamrollered on, topping the ratings once again for Wednesday and Thursday night. Last week’s casualty, MySpace’s Karen Rodriguez, wasn’t much of a surprise. I mean, the bilingual thing was cute and all,…
Student in Custody After Early-Morning Fire at Hamilton Middle School
A female student is in custody Tuesday morning after a fire at Hamilton Middle School at 139 East 20th Street in the Heights. According to an HISD spokesperson, fires were set in a third-floor classroom and in the auditorium on the second floor. The building suffered heavy smoke and water…
100 Creatives: Jenny Schlief
(Part of our ongoing series profiling 100 Houston-area artists. No rankings; no order. Check back every Tuesday and Thursday for another edition.) What she does: The mixed-media artist creates work from her personal experiences — home movies of her two kids, a video of her jumping on a hotel room…
Corpse Reviver #2 at Mockingbird Bistro
In addition to the Sazarac and the Cosmopolitan, these days I’ve also been enjoying the “Corpse Reviver,” specifically the “Corpse Reviver #2” at Mockingbird Bistro. I’m not sure what this current preference says about the general state of my existence. I don’t particularly feel dead to the world except during…
Pop Rocks: We Settle The Question Of Who Was Greater: Bill Shatner Or Liz Taylor?
Two classic thespians at the top of their gameThis week saw two milestones in the entertainment world. The first was the 80th birthday, on Tuesday, of Captain Kirk himself, William Shatner. The second was the unsurprising yet still depressing death yesterday of one of Hollywood’s last true icons, Elizabeth Taylor.”Wait…
Pop Rocks: Bill Shatner And Liz Taylor — The Throwdown
This week saw two milestones in the entertainment world. The first was the 80th birthday, on Tuesday, of Captain Kirk himself, William Shatner. The second was the unsurprising yet still depressing death yesterday of one of Hollywood’s last true icons, Elizabeth Taylor. “Wait a minute,” you’re saying, “Is he really…
Bubblegum Octopus: A Name That Sticks
UPDATE (2:41 p.m.): The show has been moved to Houston House of Creeps, 2710 Carrolton, and Cop Warmth and Saviour Group have been added to the bill. Mark Morden, the sole member of Bubblegum Octopus, describes the project as, “Bubblegum Octopus is a frantic, progressive hybrid of bouncy, cutesy pico-pico…
Comment of the Day: Very Scary Dude Version
We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…
Pillsbury Naan: Thinking Outside the (Bread) Box
As I was browsing through a local Indian grocery store, I came across a large selection of frozen breads. Always a sucker for a good naan, I scanned the array of colorful packages. I was surprised to see the fat, jolly Pillsbury Doughboy staring back at me from a familiar…
Owls Soar Over the Cougars and Continue to Dominate Cross-Town Series
John RoyalHouston Cougar Ryan Still leaps high for an overthrown ball on a first inning Rice sacrifice bunt.The Houston Cougars (11-11) grabbed the 1-0 lead from the Rice Owls (15-9) in the top of the first inning last night. The Owls scored two runs in the bottom of the first,…
Piper Kerman: Orange Is the New Black: My Year in a Women’s Prison
Some college students think about going to grad school after graduation. Few think about going to prison. Author Piper Kerman certainly had no idea an orange jumpsuit was in her future, but it was. “I was a well-educated young lady from Boston with a thirst for bohemian counterculture and no…
“Bayou City Noir: The Photography of Marvin Zindler”
Houstonians get a look at a little known side of news reporter Marvin Zindler in “Bayou City Noir: The Photography of Marvin Zindler.” The exhibit, made up of some 50 photos, was developed by John Gonzales, a copy editor at the Houston Chronicle and writer of its Bayou City History…
Interstate Fringe
The Houston and New Orleans Fringe Festivals have come together and given birth to a completely new festival — Interstate Fringe. The show, which runs for two days at Frenetic Theater, features four pieces including Yes, Cassandra and Rouge Improv from Houston artists as well as Our Man and The…
Aluminum Show
The creators behind The Aluminum Show, Ilan Azriel and Ella Munk-Azriel, set out to design a one-of-a-kind theatrical spectacle using repurposed materials. The end result is a unique marriage of art, theater, dance and recycling. Commonplace industrial materials were used to create the setting, a silver-sheened world where machines spring…
Bayou City Art Festival — Memorial Park
Memorial Park will be transformed into an outdoor gallery and stage for the Bayou City Art Festival. More than 300 artists, including featured artist Dolan Geiman, will be displaying their work in more than a dozen mediums. (More than 1,500 artists applied to participate in the juried festival.) There are…
Curtains
The leading lady is dead, but the show must go on. Oh, and they kind of need to find out who killed her. But, again, the show must go on. In a return to classic musical theater, Theatre Under the Stars is bringing in a production of Curtains, a musical…
Freedom of Choice
Devo was always as subversive as any punk rock band. Maybe more so, because they seemed so much more palatable on the surface. Forming in Akron, Ohio, in the early ’70s, they applied their concept of “devolution” — that society is steadily moving backward, not forward — in a way…
Todd Snider
Combining the essence of late comedian Bill Hicks, the back-alley X-ray vision of John Prine and the damaged-guru spirituality of Ray Wylie Hubbard, Todd Snider has carved himself a unique niche in Americana music through the force of his voice and his inventive commentaries on American life. Snider’s skewed takes…
Arlo Guthrie
After 45-plus years on the road, Arlo Guthrie remains one of the most enduring American troubadours, an evergreen act and virtual folk-music institution. While like any other musician, he seeks to entertain, his work is in fact didactic, full of lessons and fresh views based on humanity’s current situation. This…
Murs
Murs is a busy man. Not only did he start the Paid Dues Festival (think the Warped Tour of indie rap), but he’s preparing himself for its sixth anniversary with a 35-city romp around the country that hits Houston Thursday night. The rapper, whose narration blends storytelling, humor and street…
David Allan Coe
David Allan Coe is shorthand for all things ornery and pissed-off, and at 71, he only seems to be getting riper, with his grizzled country-rock anthems only seeming more weathered and lived-in. Coe is outlaw country’s resident badass, staying true to his tattooed, longhaired redneck roots as the rest of…
Women’s Funding Network sex trafficking study is junk science
ATTORNEYS REPRESENTING CRAIGSLIST told Congress on September 15 that the ubiquitous web classifieds site was closing its adult section. Under intense scrutiny from the government and crusading advocacy groups, as well as state attorneys general, owner Craig Newmark memorably applied the label “Censored” in his classifieds where adult advertising once…
Scott Stapp
In 20 years, when classic-rock radio succumbs to the whims of grown Gen Y-ers looking for something to listen to for the rush-hour drive home, Creed and lead singer Scott Stapp will no doubt be leading the charge. They will be hailed as party music, and not the embarrassing, music-snob-killing…
Super Bowling for Dollars
The push by advocates to gain publicity at any cost often involves local law enforcement. Once again, the Super Bowl became a platform to push a religious agenda and bogus numbers. Last November, Dallas Police Sgt. Louis Felini was quoted predicting that up to 100,000 prostitutes would descend on the…
Dry Cocktail
Contrary to the findings of the recent U.S. census, the WASP (White Anglo-Saxon Protestant) is merrily alive and doing quite well. In plays such as The Dining Room, Sylvia and Love Letters, playwright A.R. Gurney documents the habits and foibles of this so-called vanishing breed, and The Cocktail Hour (1989),…
Wall of Shame
There’s an old saying in journalism: If your mother says she loves you, check it out. It’s a facetious way of saying: Trust no one, verify everything. Yet some of the biggest, most respected media outlets in the country failed to perform their due diligence when it came to the…
Capsule Art Reviews: “Heimir Bjorgulfsson: The Classical,” “Tony Smith: Drawings”
“Heimir Björgúlfsson: The Classical” Elements from the natural world become characters in the collages of Heimir Björgúlfsson. Björgúlfsson cuts out photos of things like rocks and plants and inserts them into various photographic settings. Giant hunks of mineral ore appear to inch along aerial telephone lines like commandos. Chunks of…
Southwest on Washington
See more photos from TQLA’s dining room, kitchen and its vast tequila selection in our slideshow. Any apprehensions I may have initially felt about a restaurant called TQLA (pronounced, yes, as “tequila”) located right in the thick of clubby Washington Avenue melted completely away with each successive meal at the…
Capsule Stage Reviews: Gone Missing, I Do! I Do!, An Inspector Calls, OVO, Shards of Love
Gone Missing Experimental, yes, but still entertaining — talent will out. Gone Missing is based on actual interviews with real people, conducted by The Civilians, a journalistic acting troupe headquartered in New York City, and carved into theatrical shape by Steven Cosson, the group’s founder. Theater LaB has mounted its…
Gothic Type
If Jane Eyre is not the greatest of the Great Books with a permanent position on required-reading lists, it may be the most frequently filmed: At least ten cinematic versions of the story have been made dating back to the dawn of the silent era — more, if you count…
True Grit
Backstage at hay-strewn Reliant Stadium, there isn’t a trace of nerves among the world’s best cowboys and cowgirls. It’s nobody’s first rodeo. They’ve come to Houston from all over the world to ride the longest, the fastest, the best — or fall off trying. Volunteer doctors stand by, ready to…
Bad Company
Bad Company Online readers respond to “Betting Their Lives,” by Craig Malisow, March 9: Truth: The old saying, “If it seems too good to be true, then it probably is,” still holds true. Valkyre More, please: You guys are two in a row with solid cover stories this month. Keep…
Ash Wednesday
Dear Mexican, I often pick up the Albuquerque Alibi to read your babosadas. Now, let me get this straight: You appear to be a bright guy who claims to have the Mexican people all figured out, right? To you, we are all 5-6′ medium-complexion and we all pray to Moctezuma…
March Madness
SXSW 2011 was one for the books, all right — the police blotters and ambulance logs. Every day of the annual Austin music festival, reports came across the wire of fights, gate-crashing, injuries and unruly behavior by performers and audiences alike. Much of the mayhem seemed to be connected to…
Prince Royce
For a certain kind of music snob, there’s nothing more annoying than all that saccharine radio pop stuff called bachata. At best, it’s elevator muzak. At worst, it sounds like a sad baby wailing over a karaoke tape full of stuttering guitar, bongo and maracas. But there are millions of…
Everlasting House
In the late ’80s and early ’90s, at hip-hop’s height as a civil-rights megaphone for groups like Public Enemy and N.W.A., racial issues and their close cousin, ethnic pride, were often only referred to in black terms. So when two white kids who loved hip-hop as much as any others…
