The Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D
Dreaming of crystal clear blue water and white sand? Get your fill, visually at least, at The Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D at Moody Gardens’ IMAX theater. Packed with action sequences of world-class surfers, Ultimate Wave lets viewers experience the excitement and rush of racing atop a wall of water without…
Stir-Fried Ong Choy with Garlic
When I was growing up, one of the few ways my mom got me to eat my veggies was by stir-frying them. Looking back, I’m glad it was this and not a broccoli milkshake. Ong choy is a green, leafy vegetable native to East and Southeast Asia. However, because it…
Unidentified Male, 34, Bayou Body Count No. 127
A 34-year-old man was gunned down in an apartment complex on the northwest side of town Tuesday morning, police say.The identity of the victim, who suffered multiple gunshot wounds and was pronounced dead on the scene in the 5300 block of Deep Forest, was being withheld pending notification of relatives.Police…
Sampler Plate: This Week In Food Blogs
Each week, we put together a sampler plate of the most interesting links from both local and national food blogs. Know a blog we should be paying particular attention to? Leave the address in the comments section below. Fork and Cork: Greg Morago reports on the rumors swirling around Textile…
“McContent” Coming To Your Houston Chronicle
Demand Media is a company that churns out reams of copy for which freelancers get paid very little; content is geared toward generating search-engine hits. Reporters sometimes call what it does “McContent” because it’s high-volume, quickly done work by low-paid employees.And now it’s coming to Houston!Business website BNET got its…
Musicians Do More In Bed Than Just… Sleep
Today is the anniversary of one of the most unusual events in a most unusual decade. On May 26, 1969, John Lennon and Yoko Ono began their “Bed-In for Peace” at Montreal’s Queen Elizabeth Hotel. It was the second of such boudoir-bound protests (or, if you prefer, media stunts); the…
Wine of the Week: Voga Italia Pinot Grigio
In a move that could easily be filed under the “d-bag” category, popped collar and all, we broke down and bought this wine simply because of the sleek packaging. If you don’t believe us, just head on over to the website. Once the techno music boots up and you see…
ExxonMobil Not Moving To Houston, Chief Says
ExxonMobil, which has a large downtown Houston presence (right near the Houston Press; we heartily recommend the cafeteria), but rumors that it will be building and moving into a large campus on the city’s north side are apparently untrue.ExxonMobil CEO Rex Tillerson was asked about rumors the company planned to…
Coming Memorial Day: The Rap Round Table
There are a bunch of reasons why writing about rap is a good job to have. First, obviously, is the [something]. Whenever we’re out covering a rap show and we see an attractive woman, we’re always like, “Yo, what up? We write for the Houston Press.” Then the girl will…
Little Joe Washington Hospitalized In Ben Taub ICU
[Updated at 2:33 p.m. with information from Reg Burns, who saw Joe at the hospital Monday and has more information on his condition.] Little Joe Washington is in the intensive care unit of Ben Taub Hospital after undergoing emergency surgery for an obstructed bowel this past Sunday, the Houston bluesman’s…
Top 10 Things We’re Excited About Eating and Drinking This Summer
We bitch and moan about the heat because, frankly, it’s our prerogative as Houstonians. But underneath it all, we’re in love with summertime in Texas. We want to make out with it, in fact, because of all the goodies that will come our way over the next few months, plus…
CNN N-Bomb FAIL: Granny Is Set-Trippin’
Um, yeah. And the CNN editor who decided to score that clip with that particular part of Coolio’s “Fantastic Voyage” was thinking…? In further WTF news, Coolio is now on tour with Insane Clown Posse. Is it time to go home yet?…
Game Time: 24 — Was CTU Actually Run By Isiah Thomas? We’ll Never Know
One of my favorite parts of the work day occurs around 10:00 a.m.every day, when Lance Zierlein is finished with his show. At that point, I’m five hours away from my show starting, so Lance and I will typically begin haphazardly discussing about a hundred different topics at once, sometimes…
5 Songs That Are No Day At The Beach
This past weekend, Craig’s Hlist spent a good solid two days at the beach playing in the surf down off Mustang Island just south of Corpus Christi. It was one of those mental-health weekends that if we hadn’t have taken, we would have ended up throwing beer bottles against the…
Robb Walsh’s 100 Favorite Houston Dishes: #34 French Fries at Little Big’s on Montrose
Over the course of the next few months, I’m counting down 100 of my favorite Houston dishes. I chose some because they are such quintessential Houston creations, others for their cultural or historical significance, and others because they are just so damn tasty. Share your own nominations in the comments…
Metro’s Frank Wilson Is Gone, But Troubles Remain
Even with the departure of Frank Wilson, Metro still has a few hurdles before it can regain the public’s trust, which is the agency’s main goal right now, according to Gilbert Garcia, the Metro board chairman, and George Greanias, Metro’s newly appointed president. Wilson, for example, was in front of…
Chevron Protests Result In Arrests Downtown
At least four protesters were arrested this morning at a demonstration outside a Chevron shareholders’ meeting downtown. The protesters moved past temporary police barricades and sat on the ground after they were refused entrance into the building at 1400 Smith. Several dozen protesters — a few dressed as the sea turtles…
Top 5 Rapper “Secret” Identities
Rocks Off wonders what hip-hop would look like if rappers were true to who they really are, or should we say… who they were. Perhaps it would look like the video “Swagger Wagon,” by The Sienna Family, the latest Internet phenomenon that has amassed 2.4 million hits in less than…
Sugarcane’s: The Coolest New Bar in Houston?
I officially have a new favorite bar. And that is not something I say lightly. Sugarcane’s (1919 Washington Ave.) had only been open for five days when I had the pleasure of visiting it for the first time. It’s in the location of the late Corkscrew wine bar, but this…
Chef Chat, Part I: Andrew Klarman of Jeannine’s Bistro
Tucked away in an unlikely strip center on the corner of Westheimer and Bagby is where you’ll find Jeannine’s Bistro. The name may be familiar to some, since it was at the center of lots of restaurant gossip for most of last year. But, we’re not here for gossip. We’re…
Feds To Texas’ Environmental Regulators: Good God, You Suck (UPDATED With Rick Perry Saying No, You Suck)
The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency smacked the hell out of Texas environmental regulators earlier this week, announcing that the feds will begin taking control over the issuance of operating permits to chemical plants and refineries because the state is essentially doing a really, really bad, job.Regional EPA chief Al Armendariz…
Pasta with Ricotta and Bottarga
The second annual Italian Expo went on this past weekend at the George R. Brown Convention Center. As the name implies, the event featured everything Italian, from vintage sports cars to runway fashion shows to displays of modern furniture. However, these things were merely walls of a maze keeping me…
C-USA’s Post-Season Tournament: Kind Of Pointless
Meaningless exhibition games in the post-season? Great ideaConference USA has been making a big deal out of the fact that all six teams advancing to its postseason baseball tournament, starting today at Cougar Field, are guaranteed of playing three games. What conference officials fail to point out, but which the…
Taylor Swift, Neo-Feminist Keyhole To The Future
The waves of the audible bubble bath wash over you as they gurgle their way to the milk veins of your heart, and then your mom tucks you in to the sound of the woosh woosh cherry wind while you dream your little dreams of a smile. Taylor Swift makes…
Kenneth Dotson, 25, Bayou Body Count No. 126
A south Houston man was shot and killed at his front door early Tuesday morning.Kenneth Dotson, 25, was shot about 12:30 a.m. Tuesday at his home in the 4100 block of Groton, police said, although few other details were available.”Mr. Dotson was met in front of his house by an…
How to Cook Naked, Part 2
Yesterday, we ran through five tips on how to cook naked. Today we bring you five more. Wear sunscreen and/or mosquito repellant (in the case of grilling outdoors/smoking anything) While this mainly applies to outdoor cooking, it might not be a bad idea for various indoor situations as well. Mosquitoes…
Glee: You’re No Vinnie Vincent
Apparently you’ve forgotten our deal, Glee: I won’t goof on the fact that you keep hitching yourself to trendy musical topics and awkwardly using old Top 40 sings to teach that week’s life lesson, and you won’t mess with any of my favorite bands. This time, it’s personal. More on…
American Idol: YouTube Saves The Day
Here’s the thing, dog: My cable went out about 20 minutes before American Idol started. A lengthy call with a Comcast tech named Edgar yielded the knowledge that there’s apparently a weak signal plaguing my TV or box, and every channel below 13 displayed a black screen with no sound…
Taylor Swift, Slapping Away Romantic Defeat At Toyota Center
[Ed. Note: We sent two reviewers to Taylor Swift Tuesday and flipped a coin to determine which to publish first. The next one will be up at 10:30 a.m. Boys.] It’s not easy being a teen girl… Aftermath presumes. You are engaged in what feels like romantic combat with male…
Glee: Sir, You’re No Vinnie Vincent
Apparently you’ve forgotten our deal, Glee: I won’t goof on the fact that you keep hitching yourself to trendy musical topics and awkwardly using old Top 40 sings to teach that week’s life lesson, and you won’t mess with any of my favorite bands. This time, it’s personal. More on…
Idol Beat: YouTube Saves The Day
Here’s the thing, dog: My cable went out about 20 minutes before American Idol started. A lengthy call with a Comcast tech named Edgar yielded the knowledge that there’s apparently a weak signal plaguing my TV or box, and every channel below 13 displayed a black screen with no sound…
Stirred and Shaken: The Gallant Knight’s Chocolate Cake
My friend Hassan describes the differences between the new The Gallant Knight (2511 Bissonnet, 713-942-9940) and the old location like this: “It used to be way smaller, and white people would actually dance.” She’s right — most patrons are out on the patio, drinking dollar domestics (a Thursday special) and…
The Five Most Overrated Houston Attractions
Let’s be honest, there’s one main reason visitors come to Houston — to visit relatives. Or, if they’re from the hinterlands of Texas, to see a major league baseball game (sorry, you’ll have to settle for the Astros) or the rodeo.But Houston, like every other city, has to sell itself…
Houston: Proud Hotspot For Staging Car Accidents For The Insurance
Desperate times call for desperate measures. The Great Recession has forced millions out of jobs, and forced millions more to drastically slash expenses; we hear the top execs at Goldman Sachs recently told their chauffeurs to fill their personal limos with regular instead of premium unleaded, for God’s sake.Unfortunately, others…
A Cooler Coke: Almdudler
Each Tuesday and Thursday for the next few weeks, we’ll be taking a look at alternatives to cokes for the sticky Houston summer that lays ahead. Through the course of drinking various soft drinks and reporting back to you on them, I’ll occasionally discover beverages like Vimto: something I feel…
Jennifer Martinez: Posing As A Bribe-able Immigration Official
A woman who posed as an immigration officer took cash from hopeful immigrants, promising to get the papers, will get almost five years in prison for her trouble.Jennifer Martinez, 36, of McAllen, was sentenced here in Houston today to 57 months without parole for fraud.At one point she met with…
Leon’s Opening Again Soon
Been missing Midtown’s favorite dive bar? Don’t fret; Leon’s will be open once again soon. The bar has been closed since January, when Scarlett Yarbrough — daughter of the eponymous Leon Yarbrough — sold it to Pete Mitchell, who also owns another Houston favorite: Rice Village bar Under The Volcano…
Jason Gould Tweaks the Menu at Cyclone Anaya’s
It wasn’t exactly jumping the shark, but the idea of Chef Jason Gould (formerly of Aries and Gravitas) coming in to help out at Cyclone Anaya’s Mexican kitchen (even with its “Fine Mex” offerings) was, in fact, a little surprising. As Gould, who received My Table’s 2007 Chef of the…
Top 5 Animated Album Covers
The farther down the Tumblr rabbit hole Rocks Off goes, the more and more we find that it’s chockfull of musical amazing. This link gives you a good run down of sites to get you started, with every site leading you to a whole plethora of others that will suit…
Woman vs. Food: McDonald’s Style
I don’t like McDonald’s. And I don’t usually even eat chicken. But I do love a good food challenge. I never miss an episode of Adam Richman’s instant classic Man v. Food on the Travel Channel, and I have long been looking for a good challenge to take on myself…
Everette Crockett, 20, Bayou Body Count No. 125
An angry young man died last night after getting into arguments with his neighbor and an apartment-complex security guard.Police responding to a shooting call found Everette Crockett dead inside a car in the Cullen Park Apartments in the 4700 block of Wenda about 10:30 Monday night.”According to witnesses, Crockett was…
Game Time: Jose Lima, One More Inning Of “Lima Time”
When I hit “Save” yesterday morning on my post paying tribute to the late Jose Lima, I figured that would be the end. It was, coincidentally, about the same time we were finishing up what evolved into a tribute, a Jose Lima Memorial show on 1560 The Game on John…
Why Did Christina Aguilera Really Postpone Her Tour?
So Christina Aguilera isn’t touring this summer after all, according to a release Live Nation floated late Monday and Rocks Off caught via Billboard this morning: “Christina Aguilera’s summer tour has been moved to 2011 due to prior commitments that the singer had made to her film Burlesque and to…
The Shameless Chef: Ranch Hand Pie
Ever since my overwhelmingly popular and unanimously beloved invention of the DIY Shepherd’s Pie, which was my debut as the Shameless Chef, I’ve been trying to think of something along similar lines that would horrify the people who take all this foodie shit way too seriously, yet would also make…
Rick Perry’s Book Fed Up: Shouldn’t There Be An Apostrophe Between The F & E?
For those of you who think Governor Rick Perry has been just laying about in that taxpayer-funded temporary mansion, eating bon-bons with The Nuge, think again: the Associated Press has confirmed that he’s working on a book called Fed Up, apparently about his frustration with that mean old intrusive federal…
Mail Carrier Stole Netflix DVDs, Leaving Spring Without A Chance To Appreciate Paul Blart, Mall Cop
If you live in Spring and are wondering whatever happened to your promised Netflix delivery of Jennifer Aniston’s The Bounty Hunter, there may be an answer. (And you’re probably just as well off not seeing the thing anyway.)Rudolph Luna Jr., 38, of Houston pleaded guilty today to stealing a ton…
How to Cook Naked, Part 1
You, a birthday suit and the open kitchen: a winning combination if you take some of our advice to heart. No deep frying Oil at 350° and above + tiny amounts of water = oil splatter. While you’re free to use any of your cooking oil (or hell, why not…
Finally! Someone Auto-Tunes A Pack Of Wolves!
In the past year we have heard people Auto-Tune most everything you can think of: Winston Churchill, Chris Crocker, a teary-eyed family reunion, and the late Billy Mays are just some of the clips we have been sending and posting for any one who will listen, mainly late at night…
Astros’ Ticket Deals: Here They Come
You’ve got the worst team in the league, you’re shopping your ace pitcher in blatant acknowledgment you’re not going anywhere this year, and it’s a tough economy.Is it any surprise the Astro ‘Kuh-waaazy Deals” onslaught has begun?The team had a press conference today to announce two new low-price options for…
Memorial Day Party Planning, Part 2
Last week we gave you some tips on planning your Memorial Day party. Today we talk supply acquisition. You invited the crowd over, now you’ve got to feed them. Of course, the party should be fun for everyone. Stressing out over the perfect party isn’t worth it, but neither is…
Are The Homeless Ruining Midtown?
Midtown, that instant nightclub spot that emerged a few years ago near downtown, has enough to worry about right now, with Washington Avenue grabbing all the hip, trendy vibe.Now there may be something else to cause concern: Are the homeless getting a) bigger in numbers and b) more aggressive with…
Countdown To Summerfest Starts Now
• At the Pachinko Room, behind the Continental Club, a few guys are trying to start up a Thursday night patio movie series. It starts this week with Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains. • Pitchfork gives Houston all kinds of kudos in this article. • 29-95 interviews Anna Garza…
Robb Walsh’s 100 Favorite Houston Dishes #35 Breakfast Tacos at Laredo Taqueria on Patton
Over the course of the next few months, I’m counting down 100 of my favorite Houston dishes. I chose some because they are such quintessential Houston creations, others for their cultural or historical significance, and others because they are just so damn tasty. Share your own nominations in the comments…
Blue October Adds Second Acoustic Show July 24
Just when Rocks Off thought we could take a little breather from writing about Blue October, the Houston-formed, critically divisive alt-rockers went and sold out their July 24 acoustic show at House of Blues. Not to worry, though: They’ve added another one for that same night, this one at 11…
Unidentified Male, 66, Bayou Body Count No. 124
Charges have been filed in the auto-pedestrian accident of a 66-year-old man killed while crossing the street near a few blocks south of Washington Avenue.Brian Madden, 36, was driving a white Dodge Ram 1500 pickup around 6:15 Sunday afternoon in the 500 block of Durham. The victim was crossing westbound…
Roy Oswalt: Why’s Everyone Hating On The Dude?
Can somebody help me out here? Really, I’m curious, and I’m hoping someone can give me the answer. What I want to know is the reason for some of the hate I’ve been reading about Roy Oswalt from the fans since the Friday trade request announcement. It’s like some of…
Bama Boyz On Producing Beyonce’s “Why Don’t You Love Me”
The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place -lots of times, you’re even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good- so once a week we’re going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Have something you always wanted to ask…
A Day in the Life of a Food Blogger
While no one out there confuses food blogging with glamour (at least we hope not), there are those of you out there with colossal misconceptions of what we do here at Eating Our Words. Most of us are not full-time bloggers; rather we have actual jobs and responsibilities galore outside…
Taylor Swift: Goth Icon In The Making
As the summer and its hateful amount of sunlight begins to creep towards us like some kind of humid, rat-borne plague, Gothtopia has been a bit hard-pressed to find spooky news to bring Houston. But today we have an emerging Goth icon whose presence MUST be discussed before she blows…
Sidan Baca, Young & Recessioned: Tips On Job Interviews — Wear Something Classier Than A T-Shirt, Please
Today’s installment of Young & Recessioned features Sidan Baca, who worked as a job recruiter for nine years before leaving the industry to manage Pub Fiction. Working as a job recruiter is tough. It’s a tough market. I [recruited] for just about every industry. There are a lot of people…
Pop Rocks: Life Goes On, Even After Lost And 24
In case you hadn’t heard, this week marked the series finales of both 24 and Lost, leaving fans of Byzantine plots, glacial pacing, and right-wing propaganda with huge, empty spaces in their lives. At least until the next Tom Clancy novel comes out. But have no fear, brave TV watchers…
Upcoming: Roberto Carlos, Dead Meadow, Huey Lewis & The News, Ratt, Etc.
Roberto Carlos: CHANGED Wed., Sept. 22, 8 p.m., $59.50-$99.50. Verizon Wireless Theater. Adler’s Appetite: Sun., June 13. BFE Rock Club. Ambrosia: Fri., Aug. 6. Dosey Doe Coffee Company. American Fangs, Meriweather, Legacy Fails, A Dream Asleep: Fri., June 18. Fitzgerald’s. Anal Cunt, Chocolate Crucifix: Mon., June 14. The Warsaw. Blake…
Where Are We Drinking?
A place beloved by Houstonians young and old, and not just for the tasty drinks. Does the bar below look familiar to you? Know where we’re drinking this week? Leave your best guess in the comments section below…
Annise Parker & Twitter: Break Out The Fail Whale (Updated)
In her campaign for mayor, Annise Parker promised to be deep into the whole social-media thing.Annise Parker has more Twitter followers than all of the Mayoral candidates combined. In order to maintain this robust network in one central location, the campaign will pursue a joint Twitter broadcasting strategy where both…
Terry Grier’s Breakfast in the Classroom – Food For All or an Enormous High Caloric Dump Site?
As Breakfast in the Classroom spreads across the breadth and width of the Houston ISD, Superintendent Terry Grier has announced he’s been getting some “push back” from parents and educators who aren’t embracing the plan.Critics — most from some of the more affluent schools in the district — pretty much…
CODEPINK Brings The Semi-Nudity To Protest The Oil Spill
CODEPINK, the group you depend on for annoying protests when PETA isn’t around, had a somewhat-nude event outside BP today. We’re sure it makes sense, somehow.We offer no comments or ratings on Hottest Protester, but feel free to check out the slideshow and go all “Hot or Not” yourself. Which…
Once A Meal, Always A Bibas
Haritos Bibas is 77 years old, but that isn’t stopping the lifelong restaurateur from opening what is — by his estimation — probably the 30th restaurant he’s owned and operated throughout his lifetime. Bibas is a familiar name to nearly any Houstonian, especially lifetime residents. Haritos Bibas’s first foray into…
Sheriff Adrian Garcia Touts Department’s Move Into The 21st Century
The Harris County Sheriff’s Office threw a little soiree for the media Monday afternoon to trumpet the department’s apparent success using DNA collected at crime scenes to solve burglaries.But the real lesson Hair Balls took away from the announcement is this: Thieves and robbers in Harris County, it’s time to…
Remembering Jose Lima, Entertainer And Recording Artist
Jose Lima gave Astros fans another reason to be sad this year when the colorful, erratic, but always entertaining righthander died Sunday of an apparent heart attack in Southern California. Despite Lima’s winning 21 games and making the NL All-Star team as an Astro in 1999, owner Drayton McLane seems…
Tacu Tacu and Ceviche at Lemon Tree
The Lemon Tree (207 Gray St, 77002, 713-655-0430) recently opened a branch closer in to the city center, and I stopped in for an lunch over the weekend. The descriptions on the menu were fairly simple. But when our food arrived, it was almost a shock to see it plated…
LaBricia Scyrus: Almost Evicted Put on the Road to Eviction For Not Paying One Dollar Of Rent
LaBricia Scyrus has lived on public assistance at the Victory Apartments in the Fourth Ward area for over three years. Thanks to the Houston Housing Authority, the terms of her rent were such that the HHA actually paid her a buck a month. But in April, she says, she was…
Brew Blog: “Kilt Lifter” Scotch-Style Ale
Followers of Brew Blog know we enjoy dark brews — smooth porters, creamy stouts and the like. But we’re not dumb enough to try those when the heat index heads for triple digits. About as dark as we’re willing to go those days is a dark ale, such as the…
Unidentified Male, 26, Bayou Body Count No. 123 (Updated)
(Updated with charges being dropped.)A fatal auto/pedestrian accident Friday night near the Richmond Strip has resulted in intoxication assault charges against the driver, Houston police say.Cops say was driving a silver Lexus ES350 in the 6100 block of Fairdale near Dave & Buster’s when he hit a pedestrian who was…
Teenage Werewolves: A City’s Shame
The above clip is not from The Onion; it may be from the files of Teens Pulling Pranks On Reporters.At any rate, you owe it to yourself to watch these marvelous four minutes from a San Antonio news station.And then read the comments that the clip brought forth from Gawker,…
KISS Brings “Hottest Show On Earth” (Duh) To Woodlands
KISS returns to Houston for the second time in less than a year September 17. This time the monstrously monolithic classic-rockers will be gracing the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion for a tour they are calling the “Hottest Show on Earth.” A local on-sale date will no doubt be announced soon,…
The Energy at OIMBY
Not even yesterday’s exotic temperatures could stop more than 100 fine folks from celebrating at OIMBY, a backyard banquet celebrating some of Houston’s finest local chefs and vendors. Like most of the vendors themselves, OIMBY has humble roots: Several months ago, as a few people discussed the rocketing prices of…
The 5 Best Satirical Twitter Accounts
Probably the only good thing to come out of the Gulf oil disaster (other than the Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader-style discovery that dog hair is super absorbent) is @BPGlobalPR.Satirical Twitter accounts — created by anonymous users to mock and skewer public figures or celebrities — have been around almost as…
Justin Bieber For BET’s “Best New Artist”? Recognize.
Welcome back to Turning the Screw, Rocks Off’s weekly rap post. It probably won’t rhyme, at least most of the time. E-mail tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. Thanks, homies. Single of the Week: This is a leak from the soon-to-be-released Eviction Notice 4. You’re welcome. Wire to Wire After establishing itself as…
Luis Angel Landin And The Dynamo Show DC United Who’s Boss
It was a display of speed, and a little Luis Angel Landin on Saturday night, as the Houston Dynamo cruised to comfortable of 2-0 victory over DC United. The victory keeps the Dynamo in second place in the Western Conference, tied with the San Jose Earthquakes and Real Salt Lake.As…
Robb Walsh’s 100 Favorite Houston Dishes: #36 Surf and Turf Salad at Que Huong
Over the course of the next few months, I’m counting down 100 of my favorite Houston dishes. I chose some because they are such quintessential Houston creations, others for their cultural or historical significance, and others because they are just so damn tasty. Share your own nominations in the comments…
A Weird Pop Heaven Via Bay City’s “Happy Radio”
Along Rocks Off’s various Texas travels, we almost never listen to an iPod or compact discs anymore. Anything we could pop in wouldn’t match the rhythm of the road; the Stooges or Metallica don’t really jive with Highways 59, 71 or 77. In today’s world of satellite radios, streaming tunes…
Southwest’s Newest Destination: The Gulf Oil Spill
Since the late ’70s, even without having an airport worth mentioning, the Florida Panhandle has managed to boom to the point of unrecognizability. The blinding white sand of the beaches and the heartbreakingly clear deep blue seawater were enough to attract millions of tourists by the station wagon load. Since…
Pasta Night at Baba Yega
The Tuesday night special at this longstanding Montrose institution is pasta. That doesn’t sound too exciting, does it? But how wrong you are. If Sunday brunches at Baba Yega are the Montrose equivalent of enormous, loud, raucous, possibly inebriated family reunions, Tuesday nights are like quiet nights at home with…
Unidentified Male, 41, Bayou Body Count No. 122
A guy riding his Harley through a southeast Houston intersection Saturday night was killed by a drunk driver, police say.The 41-year-old motorcyclist, whose identity is being withheld until his family is notified, had the green light at 300 Genoa Red Bluff Road about 8:20 p.m. when he was struck.Reyes Reyna,…
So Alive: Rocks Off Goes To Pole-Dancing Class
The things we at Rocks Off won’t do for work. Craig Hlavaty has gone undercover as a guido for a look into the Washington Avenue scene. Chris Gray trolls Craiglist for the most… interesting… entries. And we, as the token Rocks Off lady, are the one who gets to go to the…
Asgard Heroes: The Nerd Game Of Choice On The International Space Station
In case you needed any further evidence that astronauts have moved into full nerd-dom from their test-pilot beginnings, you need only to know that two of the current crew of the International Space Station are spending their time playing Asgard Heroes.According to a press release, anyway. A press release from…
Top 10 Dylanesque Bob Dylan Quotes
Rocks Off would like to join a lot of other people, we’re sure, in wishing Robert Zimmerman a happy 69th birthday today. Since breaking out of Greenwich Village via Northern Minnesota in the early ’60s, the restless spirit much better known as Bob Dylan has been enriching the English language…
Random Ingredient: Dried Kelp
What is it? Kelp is a type of brown seaweed used extensively in Asian cooking. This packaged, dried kelp is a Korean product known as dashima, but in Japan is known as kombu and in China hai dai. The actual seaweed, when rehydrated, is intensely slimy, and not surprisingly, smells…
Game Time: Jose Lima, 1972-2010
“I was born for this, I love baseball, and remember guys, it’s still Lima Time, and it’s always Lima Time. You gotta believe that.” — Jose Lima, 2009 as a member of the Long Beach Armada in the independent Golden Baseball League Much like the man behind the movement, “Lima…
Unidentified Male, Bayou Body Count No. 121
A body found in one location has been traced to a murder in another location, but beyond that Houston police aren’t saying much.Around noon on Saturday someone discovered a dead body in the 12100 block of White Cap Lane, the victim of a fatal assault.An “investigation revealed he had been…
Symphony, Soloist “Shine” On Rach 3, Rite Of Spring
While watching to the Houston Symphony’s performance of “The Rite of Spring” Friday night, Aftermath’s mind kept coming back to one image – the story from late last year of the wild white-tail fawn that accidentally found its way into the lion enclosure at the National Zoo. Warning: Some people…
Top 10 Foods to Eat à Deux
Some foods just aren’t meant to be eaten solo. Instead, they just scream “date night” or, at least, “really, really close friend night.” Here are ten foods best shared by two: 10. Fajitas In the Tex Mex haven of Houston, this is an obvious choice. While you can order fajitas…
The Week In TV: Lost and Found
I’m tired, hungry, and probably just experiencing all this in a pleasant purgatory of my own making. This was the week in TV Land: • So, Lost ended. I’d be lying if I said I was completely pleased with the way it went down. I wasn’t expecting bursts of exposition…
Wild Moccasins Get CD Release Crowd A-Twitter
Between SXSW, the band’s tour kickoff show last month and the interview in this week’s print edition, Rocks Off has had plenty to say about the Wild Moccasins lately. So for the band’s CD release of debut full-length Skin Collision Past Friday at Walter’s, and in light of this week’s…
Mike Ojala, Rice Get Ready For Post-Season Play
The Rice Owls (35-20, 17-7 in conference) ended the regular season much in the same fashion as they began. At times over the final two games against UAB, the Owls pitching was un-hittable and the Rice hitters could do no wrong. At other times, the pitching staff couldn’t get an…
Where Are We Eating?
A bowl of refried beans, some tortilla chips, shreds of lettuce and tomatoes: the beginning of a perfect Tex-Mex meal. Does the plate below look familiar to you? Think you know where we’re eating this week? Leave your best guess in the comments section below…
For Sale: One Guitar, Slightly Peed On
Here’s a lovely way to start off the week. Naturally, it comes to us from Craigslist. Just in time for summer vacation, in case any of you recent grads are thinking about starting a band, or a summer tour if you’re already in one, a local musician posting under the…
Bureaucracy: Galveston May Resort To Video To Determine How Bad It Is
You know things are bad in the bureaucratic red-tape department when you’re thinking of resorting to videotaping events just to see how bad it is.That’s what Galveston is thinking of doing, since getting hit with a ton of complaints that people trying to re-build after Ike (yeah, the same Ike…
Jose Lima, RIP: The Last Colorful Astro Checks Out
Jose Lima died of a heart attack at 37 yesterday. He was the rarest of Astro birds in the Drayton McLane era — someone who actually had personality.Lima pissed off a lot of fans and opponents with his antics, and he famously lost whatever mojo he had with the move…
Stravinsky’s Rite Of Spring: The Buzzfest Of Its Day
This weekend, the Houston Symphony performs Igor Stravinsky’s ballet Rite of Spring, which, before it was featured alongside a bunch of dying dinosaurs in Walt Disney’s Fantasia, was probably most famous for sparking a full-blown riot upon its premiere in Paris in May 1913. Seriously – check out the Wikipedia entry (citations…
The Week In Photos
Each week, we take a leisurely swim through the Houston Press Flickr pool to see what our talented group of photographers has come up with in the last seven days. Want to see your own work featured here? Dive into the pool for yourself. As always, for more information on…
Jonathan Akinola, Secret Shopper Scams: Everyone’s Warning About Them
What gig could be better than a “secret shopper”? Go spend someone else’s money and get back at the useless sales staff who don’t immediately bow to your every whim. (This is assuming, of course, that the entire idea of shopping doesn’t sound like the freshest kind of hell to…
Magpies Swoop Into Mucky Duck Sunday
One of Lonesome, Onry and Mean’s favorite roots-rock bands returns to Houston Sunday to play the Mucky Duck. Cleveland’s hard-traveling Magpies fall somewhere in that sweet zone between Tom Petty and the Gourds, meaning they rock it hard but with plenty of twang. With its tasty licks and down-home lyrics,…
This Week in Deliciousness
Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where we’re using our leftover pizza grease to lube up our Slip ‘N’ Slide. We started this busy week off with some tips on topping your ice cream with various summer fruits, and it sounds nice, but we think…
Taylor Swift Is A Nazi(?!): Musical Fun With Google Auto-Fill
Really, Beyonce? We had no idea. But when Rocks Off read Katharine Shilcutt’s hilarious test-drive of Google’s auto-fill feature on our sister blog Hair Balls earlier this week, we knew we had to give it a spin ourselves to see what kind of smack the sentence-finisher was talking about some…
Openings and Closings
A commenter on last week’s restaurant roundup wondered if it was true that Brazaviva Churrascaria had closed down. Indeed, the steakhouse at 11681 Westheimer is now closed, as a commenter noted, for non-payment of rent. A sad fate for what we understood was a popular restaurant. In better news, a…
Johnny Jolly, Green Bay Packer, Gets In Trouble For Sponsoring Houston Party
Johnny Jolly, the pride of Forest Brook High and Texas A&M, just wants to spread the love. Now with the Green Bay Packers, he’s dealing with the fallout of being arrested here two years ago for possessing codeine, which is as Houston as it gets.Jolly’s out on bond pending a…
FAIL: Jeff Beck, Jonas Brothers, Lilith Fair, ACL Fest
If you’re reading this, you’re either on the Internet, or else you’ve mastered multi-dimensional thought-projection processes that would make Michio Kaku cry like a little girl. We’ll assume the former, and just in case you don’t already know, the Internet has decided that the word “failure” is too long by…
Upcoming Events
The 6th annual Empty Bowls Houston event is tomorrow, Saturday, May 22. Wondering what this creative charity event is all about? It’s simple: For a $25 donation, you’ll get a straightforward lunch of soup, bread and water, but you’ll also get to select a one-of-a-kind, handmade bowl donated by a…
Harris County Gets In The Gentlemen’s Club Business
In the market for a strip joint? Has Harris County got a deal for you!!The county is now the proud owner of a club with the classy name of Velvet Touch, out on Highway 6.Apparently the velvet touches cost you, because the club “was taken by the district attorney regarding…
“It’s About Damn Time” You Heard Gotty
In Monday’s mix bag we plugged a video, “It’s About Damn Time” by under-the-radar – maybe not for long – 24 year-old hip-hop artist Gotty. You know, when we first took a listen, we were really digging it, but we took it for what it was – probably a track…
Game Time: Twitter — My Houston Sports “Follow Friday”
I’m not going to lie, I was a little bit crushed. I read Craig Hlavaty’s fantastic overview of the Twitter universe (or as named in the article, “The Twitterverse”; somewhere Dwight Shrute and his “funtivities” — short for fun activities — approve), and in it he manages to do a…
Food Fight: Battle Deli Sandwich
There’s a sandwich-shaped hole inside of all of us from time to time. A hole that no plate of pasta, bowl of pho, trio of tacos or bucket of chicken can fill. Sometimes you just need a really good sandwich to make it through the rest of your day. For…
Dieter Heinz Werner: In Allegedly Stalking Ex, AARP Card Holder Shows Mad Tech Skills
While jilted Romeo and alleged GPS aficionado Dieter Heinz Werner might have a hard time taking no for an answer, you have to hand it to the 68-year-old text-a-holic for keeping up with the times. If what court records say about him are true, he has the stalking skills of…
Top 10 Worst Music-Related Tattoos
As the sole in-house bearer of the Rocks Off tattoo load (aside from Brandon K. Hernsberger and Brittanie Shey), we get asked to do a lot of tattoo-related musical blogs. It’s cool, because worse things could happen. We aren’t killing dogs at the pound nor are we the lead singer…
County’s New Mugshot Policy May Not Withstand Court Test
Yesterday, the Harris County Sheriff’s Office announced that it will no longer let anyone see the mugshots that are taken just after someone has been arrested. The sheriff’s office argues that it takes too much time and sucks up valuable man-hours to e-mail the photos to the media and that…
Chef Chat, Part 3: Riccardo Palazzo-Giorgio of Sabetta Café & Wine Bar
Chef Riccardo Palazzo-Giorgio of Sabetta Café & Wine Bar is on a mission to bring his customers authentic Italian food. He describes it as Italian home cooking, the kind you would find in your grandmother’s kitchen (if you grandmother was Italian, that is). From the food to his focus on…
Four Incredibly Stupid Beer Gimmicks
Hey, have you seen this stupid shit? That’s right, Miller Lite has introduced the Vortex Bottle in hopes of lifting their flagging beer sales by convincing you that swishing around your beer as it pours somehow makes it taste better, as opposed to flatter. What slogans might they have rejected…
Jimmy Buffett Kicks Off His Flip-Flops At The Woodlands
In 2008, Aftermath was on vacation in France. We decided to catch a show of the Spaghetti Western Orchestra, who had a month-long performance residency at a tiny theater in the Bastille neighborhood of Paris. The band is an Australian quintet that performs the music of Ennio Morricone and other…
Odd Pair: Chicken McNuggets and Riondo Pianello Rosso Veneto
In the spirit of raunchy wine pairings, I chose the ultimate guilty pleasure to pair with a medium-bodied Italian red, and yep, if you haven’t guessed yet (um, hello, it’s in the title), it was the McNugget – with barbecue sauce, of course…
Stoner Follies: Adan Toca, Apparent Cheech and Chong Fan, Is A Stoner’s Favorite Ice Cream Man
Whoever said life imitates art was no liar. What’s funny is how often life in Texas can imitate “high” art – namely Cheech and Chong movies. Take this tale, from Mission in the Rio Grande Valley… This Tuesday, a 34-year-old man named Adan Toca — who even appears to try…
Be A Total Badass And Win Neil Young Tickets
Rocks Off has a few bits of exciting news we’d like to share with you just in time for the weekend. First of all, if you hurry over to our Facebook page, you might be able to grab a pair of Steel Panther tickets for the L.A. hair-metal satirists’ House…
State Board Of Ed’s Latest Wingnut Brainstorm: Use Barack Hussein Obama In Textbooks
The only good thing about the State Board of Education’s ongoing textbook hearing is that it will soon be over. We hope.As yesterday’s hearing dragged on and on into the night, one board member — David Bradley of Beaumont — made a motion that Texas textbooks should refer to the…
Memorial Day Party Planning, Part 1 of 3
Say you want to have some people over for Memorial Day. You’d like to class things up a bit beyond ordering pizza and setting out donuts, but you don’t want to slave away or spend a fortune prepping an elaborate spread, either. Fear not; with a little planning, a happy…
Five Rap-A-Lot Albums Worth Reissuing
Welcome back to Five Spot. Every Friday, we’ll examine a recent bit of music news and, albeit sometimes awkwardly, tie it to a bit of Houston rap. We’ll incorporate the number five in there somewhere. Send tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. You have to love Rap-A-Lot records. News leaked this week that…
State Capitol’s Metal Detectors Are Installed; You Are Now Free To Stand In Long Frickin’ Lines While Buses Of Schoolkids Get Searched For AK-47s
The metal detectors have gone LIVE! at the State Capitol today, the Department of Public Safety says, so visitors should add hours of fun to their planned trip to the building.It should be all the fun of the Harris County courthouses, with the added thrill of getting to the building…
Rice’s Mike Ojala May Have Found Some Help In The Rotation, Just In Time
The Rice Owls might have already clinched a share of the Conference USA baseball championship, and they might have already clinched the number-one seed in next week’s C-USA tournament.But don’t tell the Owls that these remaining three regular season games don’t count.The Owls (34-19) hosted the UAB Blazers (27-24) last…
Does Washington Avenue Need Any More Live Music?
Last week, the Chronicle ran a story about the owners of Salt Bar, a newer drinking establishment on Washington Avenue, and their goal of building “a live music scene in Houston from the ground up.” One of the partners behind Pearl Bar, Elecia Wheeler, wanted to open a new venue that…
Packing Your Lunch and Biking to Work: Tips
This week is National Ride Your Bike to Work Week, with National Ride Your Bike to Work Day on Friday. Making your bicycle your mode of transportation is not only good for you, but good for your environment, and it works even better than coffee for morning energy. If you…
NBC’s Thursday Night: A Fond Farewell, For Now
Last night was season-finale night for NBC’s comedies, and each show’s sendoff matched its overall vibe: Community was strong and mock-conventional; Parks and Recreation was hilarious and engaging; 30 Rock was bittersweet but solid, definitely showing its slight age; and The Office was so dull and lifeless that it barely…
Drake Gets Plenty Of Love From His Unofficial Hometown
8:11 p.m.: Aftermath ends up having to park three floors down in the underground Bayou Place parking lot. We elect to take the stairs up to the street. We do this in part because it seems really lazy to take an elevator up three floors, but mostly because underground parking…
Online Auctions: Go Drunk-Bid On Some Houston Apartment Complexes
Everyone loves to bid online, right?Especially if you’ve got a few million to spare. In that case, forget about vintage TV Guides or Hector Heathcote lunchboxes and instead use your bidding skillz on a Houston apartment complex.Four local apartment complexes are going up for online bids soon via Cushman &…
Wine of the Week: Luc Pirlet Sauvignon Blanc
The great thing about moms (at least mine) is that sometimes, they buy you random stuff and give it to you at random times. Hence the subject of today’s Wine of the Week – Luc Pirlet Sauvignon Blanc. Thanks, Mom. My mom, being the thoughtful lady she is, remembered that…
Where Are We Peeing And Saying FML?
The night Rocks Off stumbled (yes, stumbled) into this bar, we got to sit on a couch by ourselves while four nerds in front of us were playing an RPG together on four laptops, and what looked like two foreign-exchange students made out by candlelight while sitting across from each…
Tera Trevino: She’s Happy With How Tonight’s Wife Swap Episode Turned Out
Tonight’s the big night for Friendswood’s Tera Trevino, if you’re the type to describe “big night” as “putting my family out there on a pretty bad reality-TV show.”She and her family will be appearing on Wife Swap, the ABC show where moms from two diametrically opposed types of families switch…
Mugshots: Sheriff Adrian Garcia Doesn’t Want You To See Them
Harris County Sheriff Adrian Garcia’s office has announced a new policy where they will no longer provide the media — or you, the public — with mugshots of arrested people until they have been convicted of a crime.The sheriff’s office says it’s too much of a manpower hassle to provide…
Washington Avenue: A Big Trench For Commuter Rail Below, Streetcars Above
If you’re gonna dream, you might as well dream big.The Super Neighborhood 22 group, responsible for improving Washington Avenue, is meeting Monday to discuss highly ambitious plans for that burgeoning entertainment district.Among the proposals: Burying a large trench along the nightclubby stretch of the street so as many as four…
Health Dept. Roundup: Market Edition
This week on Health Department Roundup, we visited the city’s retail food markets. At Foodarama Meat (11502 Wilcrest), a May 17 routine inspection found a hand-washing sign was not visible at all hand-washing sinks used by food employees, and that floors were not kept clean in several areas of the…
Bobby Heugel’s Weekly Cocktail: The Champagne Cocktail
The champagne cocktail is among the simplest and most enjoyable cocktails around. Those who have never had a champagne cocktail might scoff at the thought of ruining precious champagne with bitters and sugar, but this drink, which has existed for more than 200 years, has plenty to offer. The champagne…
Wal-Mart Ejects Christian Band From Store
The 71s are a Christian rock band, but don’t let that distract you from the fact that they are completely awesome. Trust me, when a former Satanist is a Christian band’s biggest cheerleader, then that band is a band to be reckoned with. And a stunt like the story behind…
HPD Chief McClelland: Oh, We Concluded That Investigation Into Fingerprint-Lab Bungling Weeks Ago
Nothing to see here, move along…Five months ago, the Houston Chronicle broke the story of a criminal investigation into alleged improprieties in the fingerprint unit. The investigation at that point revealed, among other things, that “more than half of 548 randomly selected cases involving fingerprints analyzed at the unit have turned up…
Chef Chat Part II: Riccardo Palazzo-Giorgio of Sabetta Café & Wine Bar
Yesterday, we sat down with Chef Riccardo Palazzo-Giorgio to discuss his new restaurant and wine bar, Sabetta. Eating Our Words: You’ve only been open about two weeks. How has the response been so far? Chef Palazzo-Giorgio: For the most part, the responses have been favorable. We’ve had a few stinging…
4 Summer-Movie Soundtracks We Already Hate
Last week, we told you of some upcoming summer-movie soundtracks that look like they’re going to be fantastic. If positivity is your thing, go read that article. This one is going to be all about the upcoming soundtracks that make us wince so hard it feels like someone’s chopping our…
Terry Grier Can’t Find A Workable Alternative to CEP
There will be trims. There will be millions of dollars in savings. There will be new initiatives and new monitoring, but the bottom line is: Community Education Partners will continue to operate its two alternative schools in Houston and the Houston Independent School District will continue to send troubled and…
Steel Panther Wants Needs Strippers For Friday’s Show
OK, we all need strippers, but for tomorrow night’s show at House of Blues, Steel Panther has put out a call to all of you dancing girls in the Houston-area to grace the stage during their set. It’s a modest request, if you think about it. Most bands ask for…
Cheese Plates For Dummies
The plate of cheese and olives above looks nice enough, doesn’t it? For those wondering, it contains hunks of Roncal, Manchego, Mahón, Iberico and Cabra Murcia al Vino — all Spanish cheeses, some hard and some soft. It’s a pretty decent variety of cheese, each representing a different region of…
Game Time: Pouring Out A 40 Of Sake For Kaz Matsui
When you’re replacing a legend, the fear is always that the bar has been set too high, that whomever you decide to trot out to second base, after nearly two decades of Craig Biggio, will die under the immense weight of the stats, the hustle, the memories. Biggio finished his…
Top 5 Bands That Should Relax For A Bit
Wednesday, Rocks Off got an e-mail from the Dave Matthews Band PR team saying that the group would be taking 2011 off so they could come back in 2012. Whether or not this is to hasten the coming Apocalypse that year or just to live a normal life for a…
A Cooler Coke: Postobon
Each Tuesday and Thursday for the next few weeks, we’ll be taking a look at alternatives to cokes for the sticky Houston summer that lays ahead. We’re back to regular old unhealthy-for-you sodas today with Postobon. Chock full of high fructose corn syrup, artificial colors and artificial flavors, this is…
Annise Parker’s Star Wars Choice: She’s With The Bad Guys
We’ll admit freely that we’re not the biggest Star Wars fans in the world. Given the fanaticism of some Jedi followers, it’s an easy claim to make.But we thought — and correct us if we’re wrong — that the guys in the cheap white plastic uniforms, not to mention Darth…
Which ACL Headliners Will Play Houston?
When the Austin City Limits festival lineup is released every spring, one of Rocks Off’s favorite parlor games besides wondering what sort of Biblical weather-related calamity God will visit on Zilker Park (this year: Locusts!) is speculating which of the festival’s major acts will book dates in Houston on their…
Theodore Perez: Fired For Not Attending His Birthday Party?
The City of Huntington is a small community in east Texas of a little more than 2,000 people, and it would appear that the folks there take birthdays pretty damn seriously.So much so, says one man who used to work for the city, that he was told he was being…
Robb Walsh’s 100 Favorite Houston Dishes: #37 Soft-Boiled Quail Eggs with Asparagus Tips at Chez Roux
Over the course of the next few months, I’m counting down 100 of my favorite Houston dishes. I chose some because they are such quintessential Houston creations, others for their cultural or historical significance, and others because they are just so damn tasty. Share your own nominations in the comments…
The Five Best Houston Sex Scandals, Such As They Are
Houston is not a big town for sex scandals. Whether it’s because we have a sophisticated European laissez-faire attitude to such things, or because bigfoot Houstonians are better at hiding things, we don’t know. Although we guess it’s the latter.Juicy stuff has been rumored throughout the years, but it happened…
Dinner in Lombardy
In celebration of the second annual Italian Expo happening this weekend at the George R. Brown Convention Center, the Hotel Granduca hosted a dinner event featuring a menu inspired by the Lombardy region in northern Italy. So what’s a dinner like in Lombardy? It’s three hours of delicious food, fantastic…
Summertime Blues: Songs As Sad As The Season
“The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to the place where he arose…” So reads the prologue to Ernest Hemingway’s 1926 treatise on the horrors of existential dread. In the book, Jake Barnes and a band of entirely unlikeable expat misfits flit around the globe, from…
Kaz Is Gone, But The Astros Pain Endures
Kazuo Matsui is gone. He is no longer a Houston Astros. Things are well with the world. All of the Astros problems are solved. World Series, here they come.Okay, not really. The Astros still suck. They’re going to suck all season, and dumping most of this roster isn’t going to…
Healthy Alternatives: Late Night Breakfast
Cramming for finals and 24-Hour diners go together like butter and salt. Diners and eating healthy, not so much. So when we decided to step up the difficulty level and make this week’s healthy-alternative meal center on late-night breakfast, we enlisted a little help via the Internet. Living south of…
Who Are We Taking To Jimmy Buffett Tonight?
Today is the day the Chronicle’s Ken Hoffman and the rest of Parrothead Nation’s Southeast Texas chapter have been waiting for – Jimmy Buffett sails into the Houston area for the first time since April 2007. If you’ve never seen the son of a son of a sailor before, Rocks…
American Idol: Casey Strikes Out
Last night’s elimination episode of American Idol felt like the last day of school: Everyone knew what would happen, and there wasn’t much action in the first place, so everything just kind of floated along until the inevitable final moments. A few weeks back, Mike started slipping a bit while…
Idol Beat: Casey Strikes Out
Last night’s elimination episode of American Idol felt like the last day of school: Everyone knew what would happen, and there wasn’t much action in the first place, so everything just kind of floated along until the inevitable final moments. A few weeks back, Mike started slipping a bit while…
Pop Rocks: It’s All Michael Bay’s Fault
Most of my life has been spent seeking out a unifying theory of suckitude in the entertainment universe, “entertainment” in this sense meaning movies, music, and television. Originally, I’d hoped to find someone whose utter horribleness spanned the entire artistic firmament (including literature and the theater), but the project quickly…
Remember Yung Redd’s Eviction Notice 3?
Houston’s history is dotted with albums that, fairly or un, have been swept aside. We’ll examine them here. Have an album that you think nobody knows about but should? Email sheaserrano@gmail.com. Lil Keke is the reigning big dick in the SwishaHouse camp; that part is pretty impossible to argue. But,…
Local Vendor Spotlight
For every Houston restaurant still using Sysco biscuits, there’s a local vendor who’s gnashing his teeth, ready to jump in if given the chance. Yes, the “little guy” local trade has grown steadily and profitably over the past few years as more and more chefs and patrons want to know…
Cory English as Igor in Young Frankenstein, Where Every Day is Hump Day
Cory English, who started out as a dancer before becoming an actor and singer on Broadway, knows that if he doesn’t say his lines fast enough, “someone else will.”That’s because he’s now on national tour for Broadway Across America’s production of Young Frankenstein, playing Igor (eye-gor). Turns out there’s a…
Pickaninnies & White Trash: A Hilariously Un-PC Old Textbook From England
You never know what you’ll find in a Houston antique shop. For instance, there’s The Wonder Book of Children of All Nations. It appears to be intended for schoolchildren, published in Great Britain in, say, 1920 or so, and chock-full of jaw-dropping stereotypes. The book tells British kids about their…
John Sandford: Storm Prey
It’s a chance encounter. A woman entering a parking garage comes face-to-face with three burly men on their way out. Thinking nothing of it, she goes on her way. She doesn’t know the three men just robbed and killed someone. In Storm Prey, the twentieth title in the Prey series…
Rite of Spring and Rach 3
Pianist Garrick Ohlsson, winner of the Chopin International Piano Competition, shows his versatility and range when he joins the Houston Symphony for Rite of Spring and Rach 3. The program includes Stravinsky’s The Rite of Spring and Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. 3. In 1913, Rite of Spring was so different…
The September Issue: Anna Wintour & the Making of Vogue
For 20 years, Anna Wintour has been the editor-in-chief of Vogue magazine, the fashion industry bible. As one of the most influential people in the $300 billion worldwide business, Wintour had never allowed anyone behind the scenes – until filmmaker R.T. Cutler convinced her to let him document the creation…
Simplemente Lara: Vida y Canciones de Agustin Lara
The story of Mexican composer çngel Agust’n Mar’a Carlos Fausto Mariano Alfonso del Sagrado Coraz—n de Jesœs Lara y Aguirre del Pino (you might know him as Agustín Lara) is revealed in Simplemente Lara. Based on the life and work of one of the most influential composers of popular Mexican…
Craig Robinson
Most folks know Craig Robinson from The Office and films like Pineapple Express and Hot Tub Time Machine. He’s also hosting the upcoming season of Last Comic Standing and BET’s Hip Hop Honors. Despite his busy schedule, Robinson is making time to return to the stage. While there is little…
Houston Fringe Festival
BooTown opens its Houston Fringe Festival with abusive employees and evangelical elementary students. Among the stagings, Six of One Productions presents Abby Koenig’s Bring Your Jesus to Class Day, in which a fourth grader literally introduces his classmates to his savior, and Crystal Jackson presents Flagellating the Boss, in which…
Times Talk Live: Lost
Get the inside scoop on the series finale of Lost at Times Talk Live: Lost from Executive Producer Carlton Cuse and Co-creator/Executive Producer Damon Lindelof. The pair will discuss the show’s background and explain how they created a final episode that would provide satisfactory answers to the numerous WTF? moments…
2010 Texas Fetish Ball
Pack your bag of sex toys, but be sure to leave your inhibitions at home. The 2010 Texas Fetish Ball isn’t for the faint at heart. (Oh, and leave your camera at home, too. Taking photographs is strictly forbidden at the Ball.) Performances and appearances by fetish model Kumimonster, blond…
Bryan Callen
Comedian and actor Bryan Callen has a pretty simple goal in life – he wants to make a lot of money so that he can afford a helicopter and an entourage of acrobats, a pet monkey and a giant. Given his résumé, Callen just might get his way. Fifteen years…
Body Art Expo
Touted as “the world’s largest tattoo convention,” Body Art Expo Houston features more than 200 of the country’s top tattoo and piercing artists working on site. If you’ve already got your ink, enter the tattoo contest. There are also contests for the nicest ass, the hottest stud and hottest babe,…
Slant: Bold Asian American Images
Aurora Picture Show has some surprises in store for the weekend birthday party of one of Houston’s most idiosyncratic film festivals, Slant: Bold Asian American Images, which is turning ten years old. On Friday, there’s the usual assortment of enlightening shorts. On Saturday, there will be neo-benshi and live performances…
Birdemic Shock and Terror
Birdemic: Shock and Terror is to Avatar as Weird Al is to the Brandenburg concertos. In the digitally shot movie, a young couple deals with topical issues (global warming, modern sexuality, et al.) while attempting to fight off a vicious army of vultures and eagles that’s assaulting a Northern California…
Young Frankenstein
A monster in a top hat, a crazed scientist, a yodeling lab assistant – only the smart and super-silly imagination of Mel Brooks could stitch together these goofballs into a big Broadway blowout called Young Frankenstein. Based on the super-successful 1970s film of the same name, the musical that includes…
The Ever After
It’s a reunion of sorts in the children’s play The Ever After when a talk show host invites several fairy tale characters who have been estranged from each other to settle their differences on live television. Jiminy Cricket, now an occupational therapist and self-help expert, is on hand to offer…
24: The Final Season 2-Hour Finale
It’s the last-ever episode of 24, the last time that Jack Bauer saves the world. And you can see it all on the big screen at Alamo Drafthouse’s 24: The Final Season screening of the series two-hour finale. Watch as Jack, who was drawn back into the spy game when…
Sherlock, Jr.
Buster Keaton, one of silent film’s most loved comic actors, was in the director’s chair for Sherlock, Jr. Called his most avant-garde feature, Sherlock, Jr. follows the dreams and adventures of a film projectionist (Keaton). In a highlight of the film, movie tricks, such as superimpositions and clever editing, show…
España
The Fort Bend Symphony Orchestra celebrates the music of Spain with España. The program includes Bizet’s Carmen Suite and De Falla’s Three-Cornered Hat. There’s also Lecuona’s Malagueña and Ravel’s Boléro, along with traditional folk music, marches and dances. 2 p.m. Stafford Centre, 10505 Cash Road, Stafford. For information, call 281-276-9642…
Sex and the City 2 Midnight Screening
You can be among the first to see Sex and the City 2 at today’s midnight screening. Carrie (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) and her friends Samantha (Kim Cattrall), Charlotte (Kristin Davis) and Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) go even bigger in this sequel to the movie that was based on the…
“Cosmos”
Emilie Halpern, a Los Angeles-based photographer and sculptor, joins Austin-based sculptor Eric Zimmerman for the two-person show “Cosmos.” Along with the new pieces each created individually, the artists worked together on a soundscape that features recordings alternating on an endless loop of Halpern and Zimmerman reading from Pale Blue Dot…
“East End Live Art: Un/Natural Disasters”
“East End Live Art: Un/Natural Disasters” uses art, poetry readings, music and discussions to turn the unimaginable into the extremely personal. Voices Breaking Boundaries co-founder and event organizer Jacsun Shah says “Disasters” addresses recent and past tragedies such as Hurricanes Katrina, Rita and Ike and the earthquakes in Haiti, Pakistan…
Order in the Court, a Stage Play
In the comedy Order in the Court, a Stage Play, Aunt Mo, the owner of the Hot Spot, a popular nightclub, has her hands full. First, she’s looking after her nephew Craig. He’s got baby mama drama and an old friend intent on getting him back into the drug-selling business…
Masters of the Universe
Since relocating to Houston in January, the formerly Austin-based gallery Art Palace has been a cool, quirky addition to the Isabella Court Inman/CTRL Gallery block near Alabama and Main. Its two previous shows at the new location demonstrated a penchant for popular culture (particularly sci-fi) and a whimsical sense of…
Capsule Art Reviews: “Bert Long’s RED Book”, “Group Show: Shoman, Benhelima, Forero, Zet, Wilson & Wolfson”, “Keep It Slick: Infiltrating Capitalism With the Yes Men”, “Round 32: eco, xiang, echo: meditations on the african, andean & asian
“Bert Long’s RED Book” Houston art scene fixture Bert Long presents 18 new pieces based on The Red Book, Carl Jung’s personal art journal that was published for the first time last year. Jung’s artwork was based largely on the symbolism of dreams, and Long mines his own personal unconscious…
Capsule Stage Reviews: Arcadia, Funny Money, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Arcadia The extraordinary depth of playwright Tom Stoppard’s knowledge is on full display in the melancholic, gorgeously realized world of his ambitious and stunning Arcadia. Everything from Newtonian physics to the ridiculousness of academia to the sweet pangs of teenage crushes fills the tiny stage at Main Street Theater, where…
The Twitterverse
In 2007, J.R. Cohen took over Coffee Groundz, the Midtown-area coffeehouse, and began tweeting. He personalized the Twitter account and used it to talk to his customers directly, to take orders during the morning rush and to promote the charity events he began hosting almost every week. Within two years…
Tower of Evil
When the Avocado Jumbo Crab Tower ($13.95) arrives at your table at Ruggles Grill (903 Westheimer, 713-527-9400), the waiter carefully places the plate in front of you and hovers for a moment to see your reaction to the six-inch-tall architectural masterpiece. It’s for you to decide how to attack the…
A Decade Makes a Comeback
MacGruber (Will Forte), a highly decorated soldier of fortune known for “making life-saving inventions out of household materials,” faked his death and went into hiding after his fiancée (Maya Rudolph) was killed at their wedding, likely by MacGruber’s archenemy, wealthy industrialist Dieter Von Cunth (Val Kilmer). Years later, when the…
True to the ‘Trose
I walked into Canopy, Shade owner Claire Smith’s new restaurant in the Montrose, to have lunch with a friend. When I sat down at the table, the first thing I did was spill a margarita down the front of my shirt, right in front of the waiter. Embarrassing. So I…
Aggies Recruit Teh Gheys
EDUCATION Aggies Recruit Teh Gheys College Station, the San Francisco of Texas By Paul Knight Perhaps there’s a side of Aggieland that we’ve never experienced, but Texas A&M, along with the entire College Station area, has never struck us as a place that accepts alternative lifestyles. But that could be…
Toku Sushi
Ray Lee ran restaurants for the Soma and Azuma group and also worked at Miyako and Japon before finally venturing out on his own at the new Toku Sushi (10001 Westheimer, 713-780-3338). “Toku is my real name. It means ‘gain.’ Ray Lee is my American name,” he says. Lee is originally…
Special Potpourri Edition
Dear Readers, Over the past couple of weeks, the Know Nothing nation has invaded my inbox with the question of why can’t the United States follow the stringent immigration laws of Mexico. They’re merely parroting a recent column by the reprehensible Michelle Malkin, who thought that bringing up the issue…
PJ’s Sports Bar’s Lindsay Lohan
American karaoke probably makes a native Korean feel the same way I do when I eat Mexican food in a place like Arkansas. Still, I dragged my friend Alex to PJ’s Sports Bar (614 W. Gray, 713-520-1748) so I could get an expert’s opinion on the dive-bar version of South…
Cop As Victim?
On the Job Online readers comment on “On Hold,” by Chris Vogel, May 6: Inexcusable: My only knowledge of this case is this article. So, taking it as fact, this seems inexcusable. Rape is a horrible crime, and even worse when it involves a child. But so is false accusation…
The Walking Dead
Texas City seems like an unlikely place for an eight-piece neo-folk, indie-rock, gypsy-influenced musical conglomerate to form. Even more unlikely is the name: Come See My Dead Person. First brought to our attention by George Banks, the Humble architect who did many of the original 13th Floor Elevators posters and…
Collision Course
Wild Moccasins, bless their hearts, are already tired of telling “the bird story.” The winsome, unfailingly cheerful local indie-pop crew would much rather talk about Skin Collision Past, the debut full-length LP they’re releasing this Friday at Walter’s. It’s hard to blame them. Six months in the making, Skin Collision…
The Knitters
“Supergroup” gets tossed around so much in these days of ever-shifting lineups and allegiances (The Dead Weather, Them Crooked Vultures), that word might as well mean the same thing as “side project.” But the Knitters actually deserve such a lofty designation. Not only is the lineup pretty super to begin…
Everybody Was in the French Resistance…Now!
At first you might mistake the name of this new band featuring Art Brut singer Eddie Argos for a joke about French collaboration under the Nazis (a Broadway musical adaptation of The Sorrow and the Pity?). But the concept here is more car-game playful and inane: Conceived on a road…
Steel Panther
The last time we saw Steel Panther at House of Blues was a little over a month ago, and we sat, mouth agape, at the pantload of awesome unfolding before us for nearly two hours. The L.A.-based metal parody band made us want to kick our parents in the shins…
The Hickoids, Dash Rip Rock
The Hickoids have now been a pain in Austin’s smug, image-conscious ass for 25 years, and show no signs of mellowing with age. Half Jason and the Scorchers cowpunks, half deranged Monty Python satirists and 100 percent don’t give a fuck, Jeff Smith and Davy Jones continue to sally forth…
Jungle Rockers
As the name implies, Austin’s Jungle Rockers are way into the primitive. Theirs is music for Tarzan’s effort to woo Jane — if Bo Diddley played Tarzan, or if Tarzan played electric guitar. The band’s recently released EP may be titled Cool It Out, but cooling it out doesn’t seem…
MDC
What does MDC stand for? Millions of Dead Cops or MILFs Date Cougars, depending on your mood, we guess, but anyone who has been immersed in Steven Blush’s indispensable scene tome American Hardcore: A Tribal History should know all about the band’s integral part in hardcore punk history. The group…
