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| All photos by Jacob Katel |
| Welcome to Twerklandia. |
Getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha freak on!
We all know that there are lots of ways to become immortalized at a massive outdoor music gathering like Ultra Music Festival.
Say, humping a tree. Or dancing naked while getting arrested.
But yo’ momma would probably prefer if you lived forever among these top ten twerking, Harlem Shake-ing ravers at Ultra 2013 in animated GIF!
10. Twerk Au Natural Dancing to: Major Lazer
Now that’s what you call air conditioning.
9. Harlem (Belly) Shake Dancing to: Major Lazer
No joke — this dude literally had the 10,000-strong amphitheater audience screaming for him.
8. Balla’ Rina Dancing to: Benny Benassi
And if anybody ever talks shit about tutus again, just show them this picture on the Wikipedia page for “sexy and awesome.”
7. Global Village People Dancing to: Laidback Luke
In the native Ultrarian culture, this dance calls down perfect storms of bass.
6. O Face Dancing to: 12th Planet
Physiological signs of aural orgasm include rapid hip convulsion, arching of the back, and muscular constriction, followed by massive feeling of release
5. I See Wet People Dancing to: Laidback Luke
And if you would have answered the Craigslist ad for “Aquatic Engineer Miami,” this job could have been yours.
4. Burqueños Dancing to: Benny Benassi
This crew hails from the city of the Breaking Bad, and they party harder than a fresh batch of Heisenberg. One time for the Lobos landed up in the MIA.
3. EDM Fitness Dancing to: Magda
With only ten reps of “soul house,” five sets of “trance lifts,” and 30 intense minutes of “air keys” a day, you too can achieve the ideal party body.
2. Hoop There It Is Dancing to: Bingo Players
Ring dancing goes back thousands of years. But Richard Knerr and Arthur “Spud” Melin, inventors of the modern plastic hula hoop: Holey fuckin’ thank you.
1. The First Lady of Twerkistan Dancing to: Major Lazer
And as for the terms ay ay ay, oooooowwwwweeee, and wubba wubba wubba, here’s why they were invented.
This article appears in Mar 21-27, 2013.