Rocks Off sat down with Cradle of Filth's Dani Filth to see we could find out about the front man and founder of the British goth-metal band, which formed in 1991, in 30 seconds.
Rocks Off: What is the worst song in the world?
Dani Filth: The Scissor Sisters' "I Can't Decide." Every time I hear that song I want to vomit blood. It's terrible. It sounds like the Bee Gees on Prozac.
RO: What is the best lyric in the world?
DF: Oh Christ! I should be better prepared for this, being a lyricist and all. I'm going to go with "Too Drunk to Fuck" by the Dead Kennedys.
RO: Someone throws a beer bottle at you. What do you do?
DF: Head-butt it. Seriously, I get off on that kind of thing. There was a concert once though where someone came armed with a bag of giant jawbreakers and started hurling them at us. One barely missed me, then one whizzed by this poor disabled kid in a wheel chair that we'd parked onstage to watch the show.
I was just about to call someone when one hit the bass player in the spine and he had to go to the hospital. For a fucking candy injury! Who brings that stuff anyway? Fruit's fine. I encourage people to hurl it at the drummer, but fucking jawbreakers....
RO: Without worrying about space, time, or the laws of physics, what is the ultimate gig?
DF: Well, we just got done ferrying all over some really exotic locations in South America, so it would have to be really out there. Like Atlantis or the dark side of the Moon. We could cater to the insane billionaire crowd.
RO: What will you buy with your next million dollars?
DF: The wife and I have been in the process of moving for a year, and it's involved a lot of renovation. I'd spend the money getting that over with. As long as I've got some extra cash left over I think I'll take a Lamborghini.
RO: What will you buy with your last dollar?
DF: Something cheerful for the deathbed. Like a used joke book. Something cheerful. If I'm going out, I want it to be light-hearted.
RO: If you could canonize another musician, who would it be and of what would they be the patron saint?
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DF: King Diamond. I would make him the patron saint of extreme gothic metal creepiness.
Cradle of Filth plays tonight at Warehouse Live with Nachtmystium, Turisas, and Daniel Lioneye. Their latest album, Darkly, Darkly, Venus Aversa, is available now.
Jef With One F is the author of The Bible Spelled Backwards Does Not Change the Fact That You Cannot Kill David Arquette and Other Things I Learned In the Black Math Experiment, available now.