Rocks Off sat down with Keeton Coffman, lead singer of The 71s, to see what we good learn about the man we once called “God’s punk-ass kid” in 30 seconds.

Rocks Off: What is the worst song in the world?

Keeton Coffman: Not sure – I just hope it’s not one of mine.

RO: What is the best lyric in the world?

KC: “the more you know the less you feel, some pray while others steal – blessings not just for the ones who kneel…. luckily.” – Bono

RO: Someone throws a beer bottle at you. What do you do?

KC: Duck – beer bottles can really hurt when they hit you in the head.

RO: Without worrying about time, space, or physical laws, what would be the ultimate gig?

KC: I think I could settle for playing a concert in Time Square on New Years Eve…. but more realistically, our dream is to play Red Rocks in Denver, Colo.

RO: What will you buy with your first million dollars?

KC: Seriously – my wife and I are a big fan of this nonprofit called Compassion International. They have schools all over the world that feed and educate children in impoverished communities. I’d give a lot to them… Also, I’m a big fan of Blue Bell Rocky Road Ice cream… so, after a half-gallon of that stuff… a Slurpee. No wait – two Slurpees.

RO: What would you buy with your last dollar?

KC: Something for my brother, Rob.

RO: If you could canonize another musician as a saint, who would it be and of what would they be the patron saint?

KC: The guys in my band collectively – They would be the Patron Saints of Faith – because they help me keep mine.

The 71s play House of Blues with Jud Johnson Band and Strings, Brad Sayles & Divisi Strings and Dimitri’s Rail Friday, Jan. 14.

Jef With One F is the author of The Bible Spelled Backwards Does Not Change the Fact That You Cannot Kill David Arquette and Other Things I Learned In the Black Math Experiment, available now.

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Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.