Dear Willie D:
My 11-year-old daughter told me that when she visits her dad, his wife allows her to curse, and sleep in the same bed with her 13-year-old son.
She also told me that her stepmother showed her drawings of a naked man, and told her what a penis is. Needless to say, I am pissed! I don’t want my daughter at her house anymore, but I don’t want her growing up not spending time with her father either. How should I handle this situation?
Where is the father while the stepmother is homeschooling your daughter in sex education? Talk to the father, and tell him your concerns. Let him know that you’re uncomfortable with your daughter sleeping in the same bed with any 13-year-old boy, and to tell his wife to stop exposing your daughter to drawings of naked men.
Tell him that they can be self-compliant, or you can notify the cops that his new wife showed your child a picture of a naked man, which could be considered porn. You could also stop your daughter from visiting her father. I know you want her to spend time with him, but your priority is your child’s safety, and her father doesn’t seem like a responsible person.
Therefore, you may have to go to the courts and request that the judge modify your divorce decree to include supervised visitation. Sitting with him during visitation will create another obligation for you, and will make him feel like an inmate, but that's okay. Some people can’t function without being governed.
MY GIRLFRIEND TALKS TOO MUCH
Dear Willie D:
When my girlfriend and I first started dating, I was the one doing all the talking. But as it progressed, she took over. Now I can’t get a quiet moment. She always wants to talk, and every few weeks she’ll tell me, “We need to talk,” which is code for “She needs to talk” about something I did wrong.
I get it that women love to talk, and as a man I have to deal with it. But her chatterbox is driving me crazy. How do I address this issue without her shutting down emotionally?
Dude, you have to relax. Women talk, and that’s not going to change. Sometimes you just have to space out and listen. It won’t hurt too long.
If you insist on confronting your girl, the only way to open her eyes is to be direct and tell her that her constant talking wears you down. But try to be as sensitive as possible, and reassure her that you love her. If she feels you don’t care about her feelings, she may shut down and find someone else to talk to, and that’s the last thing you want.
As the saying goes: It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.
WHY DON’T PEOPLE DRESS UP ANYMORE?
Dear Willie D:
I’m a 26-year-old woman living in Houston for the past six years, and I’ve noticed that people don’t dress up to go out here. I’m from Chicago, and depending on where you go there, you might face the same problem. It just seems to be worse in Houston.
When I first moved here, all of the bars I went to downtown were packed with well-dressed people. Now guys are wearing T-shirts, and many of the young ladies wear shorts and flip-flops. What happened to the dress code?
Beats me. I think most people still dress appropriate to the occasion, while others dress in what they’re most comfortable in. With the way people are shopping in their pajamas, and walking around with their drawers showing and asses exposed these days, just be thankful they have on clothes at all.
WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON TEXAS’ NEW OPEN CARRY GUN LAW?
Dear Willie D:
Now that Texas is an “open carry” state, I was wondering what you think about that. I’m in Michigan, where we have enjoyed the freedom of openly packing for decades, and it’s not a problem. But I read about the big fight in Texas to prevent the law from passing.
That’s surprising to me. With Texas being so pro-gun, I would have thought it was already an open carry state. Welcome to the club, and how do you feel about open carry becoming law in your state?
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Could be a good thing. Could be a bad thing. For example: If someone wanted to commit a crime and he or she saw a civilian strapped, it might deter that person. On the other hand, if someone wanted to commit a crime and saw a civilian strapped, that person might decide to shoot and kill said civilian first to increase his chances of getting away with the crime.
This is one of those situations where you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Personally, when in imminent combat situations, the element of surprise works better for me.
Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.