Sure, Usher’s admission in the December issue of Maxim magazine that he was attending orgies with Diddy at the age of 16 caused a lot of waves, but it was something else he admitted that has Wack much more concerned. Yes, it seems R&B’s highest paid Michael Jackson impersonator harbors a much deeper secret: his singular desire to work with New Jersey’s second son, Jon Bon Jovi.
Call it Confessions, Pt. III, but this is a growing and unsettling trend in hip-hop and R&B — namely, artists in these genres stroking the egos of their white-bread, milquetoast pop counterparts. Pharrell loves Ben Folds, Lil Jon loves Franz Ferdinand, Kanye loves Fiona Apple so much he head-hunted her producer, and it seems damn near everyone in the game has hopped aboard the SS Coldplay at one time or another. What’s next? DMX has a soft spot for Jason Mraz? Snoop Dogg has a secret stash of Death Cab records? Well, we here at Wack have put on our reporter caps to unearth the next “that album really got me through some hard times” hip-hop moment, and you’ll be shocked by our findings.
Sit down, heads.
Ghostface of Wu-Tang Clan bites new-wave icons Echo & the Bunnymen’s seminal album Ocean Rain for his lyrical bag of nonsensical hodgepodge. And here you thought he was on some stream-of-consciousness tip. Shhhhhhhhhiiiiiiit!
Now, before you get your Roca Wear drawers in a twist, please consider the evidence. What follows are a few lyric samples from both. Please notice that, above all else, none of it makes the least bit of sense. Couple this with the fact Ghostface has spit rhymes about rabbits, whether they be the $10,000 or snow-white variety, on each of his albums, and we see him getting this off his chest in the pages of XXL by next month.
On foodย
Ghostface, Supreme Clientele, “Buck 50”
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious / dociousexpialicalifragilisticsuper / Cancun / Catch me in the room eatin’ grouper!
Echo & the Bunnymen, Ocean Rain, “Thorn of Crowns”
C-C-C-Cucumbers, C-C-C-Cabbage, C-C-C-Cauliflower / Men on Mars / April showers!
On violenceย and more foodย
Ghostface, Supreme Clientele, “Ghost Deini”
Y’all know how we dine / We don’t eat swine / We don’t drink wine / If you don’t bring me some muthafuckin’ Cognac I’ll kill you
Echo & the Bunnymen, Ocean Rain, “Crystal Days”
B-b-burn the skin off and climb the rooftop / Thy will be done / B-b-bite the nose off / and make it the most of / Your king- kingdom kingdom kingdom
On recreational activitiesย
Ghostface, Pretty Tony Album, “Beat the Clock”
I hold a mike like I’m Gail Sayers / Hoppin’ over chairs like O.J. / My rushin’ yards depend how the meter spray / Happy wife-beater day / Don’t touch my cheeba hay / Get off my D-I, then go C the K
Echo & the Bunnymen, Ocean Rain, “Ocean Rain”
All hands on deck at dawn / Sailing to sadder shores / Your port in my heavy storms / Harbors the blackest thoughts
On religionย
Ghostface, Supreme Clientele, “Wu Banga 101”
Bottles goin’ off in the church / We broke the wine, slapped the pastor / Didn’t know Pop had asthma / He pulled out his blue bible, change fell out his coat / Three condoms, two dice, one bag of dope / Oooh! Rev. ain’t right / His church ain’t right / Deacon is a pimp, tell by his eyes
Echo & the Bunnymen, see entire catalog
Listen to Ghost’s records and Ocean Rain back-to-back and more evidence will reveal itself. In other news, both artists have chosen to skip Houston on their current U.S. tours. Coincidence? We think not.
BETWEEN THE CRACKS
Band name: Type Nine
Web site: www.typenineonline.com
Personnel: Aubs on the vox, Joshua Caleb on the guitar, Jason on the drums, Jerod on the bass, and for nowย Beau, he’s on guitar too!
Native or transplant? Nativeย basicallyย we are from all over! Baytown, Splendoraย but yeah, we claim Houston.
What’s in a name, particularly yours? Type Nineย well, it comes from the nine types of personalities. The ninth type is one who is caring, shows compassion and brings about a hopeful message.
When did you form? We began back in 2000, I thinkย we’ve had a couple members come and go, but our core of Aubs, Jason and Jerod are originals.
Releases/discography: We used to be known as Crossover, we had one album back in 2004ย We had a radio single called “And I Will” that charted in several major citiesย most notably Miamiย We reached No. 4 on THE CALL FM, yeah, we are pretty big down thereย I mean, you know, we like to think soย
Who or what do you think you sound like? Oh, geezย Well, we don’t really sound like anyone, we have tons of influencesย the list is too large to even begin!
What are some of your noteworthy recent feats? Well, the single charting in some major cities was cool. We’ve toured several times along the Southeast and up in the Midwestย playing several festivals with several thousand in attendance. We got some nice label stuff going now tooย not much to elaborate on yet.
What albums have had the biggest impact on you? The last couple Switchfoot albums have been great. The Beautiful Letdown was an album which really did not have any filler on itย the album could be listened to all the way through without skipping a song. This is what we want our albums to be like.
What artists have had the biggest impact on you? Switchfoot, Goo Goo Dolls, Audio A; like I said before, the list can go on forever and it’s tough to name just a fewย
How do you pay the bills? What is your day job? We all do a little something on the sideย Jason works at a restaurant, Jerod cleans up the horse stable for his dad, Aubs works at a skate shop and for his dad, and Josh records bands out of his and Aubs’s home studio.
Finish this sentence: If we didn’t have to worry about money, we’d beย touring around playing all over the place, all over the world. Our passion is music, and we have been blessed with many talents. We gotta give ’em backย
Finish this sentence: I’d rather beย eating Froot Loopsย I’m hungryย
Where do you see yourself in five years? Hopefully we can get one of these deals done and be out playing shows for a “real” living and entertaining people all over the world and bringing hope into their lives through our music.
Give us a random factoid about yourself: Well, how about a random fact about the bandย Jason our drummer is marriedย not a lot of people know thatย
Weezer or Winger? Wingerย they are a cool hair band!
Jay-Z or Z-Trip? Jay-Zย he has Beyoncรฉย
Football or foosball? Football! Here is a random factย our manager was a college football player; he also doubles as our bodyguardย KIDDINGย about the bodyguard part!
Parting shot? Yeah, sureย come see us, Houston! We love our hometown and our peopleย love us back!
See them at: Java Jazz Coffee House, 2502 FM 1960 East, 281-528-8129, on Thursday, January 12.
This article appears in Jan 12-18, 2006.