Hey peckerhead, Rocks Off is pleased to announce the next evolution in fist-pumping and battling as we bring a taste of the Jersey Shore to the Washington Avenue Drinkery with our own Washington Shore” shindig Thursday, February 11 at 8 p.m. This is a free party, just like all of our sick Rock Band parties were.
Our party will feature epic pizza slices from Frank’s Pizza, tanning machines, on-site hair stylists, fist-pumping competitions, a Jersey Shore character look-alike contest, and enough juicehead adrenaline to choke a townie. We nixed the Snooki punching bag, because she’s a female and stuff. The fuck you looking at? Yeah, we smushed with your girlfriend.
Details are still being ironed out, so don’t get your Ed Hardy boxers in a bunch or you will get smacked. Rocks Off is already hitting the gym again working on his fitness and shaving his arms in anticipation of giving the dance floor a beating you wouldn’t believe. Who’s your friend? She looks banging. Hold on, the duck phone is ringing…
This article appears in Jan 14-20, 2010.