I wanna take this time out to thank all the pretty young ladies who have graced us with their scantily-clad skinalicious exploits during this sweltering weekend. You women are truly the linchpin to this weekend. For every bikini-top, Jackie-O sunglasses, terry-cloth shorted Jezebel; I salute you and your Texas breeding.

Somewhere Daniel Johnston is smoking cigarettes and watching cartoons, while this banner sits in the middle of a festival filled with thousands of sweaty drunk dudes. Three cheers for irony.

LOL! OMG! LMAO! DDG! BFF!

TTYL, =D

This bloke from the Arctic Monkeys was meaning to put the mockers on us for nicking this pap photo of ‘em eating an iced. It’s a pisser, innit?

“Hey all you frat boys! You just bought me a new car. Thanks for buying that sixth copy of Legend, white devils!”

— Craig Hlavaty

This article appears in Sep 13-19, 2007.

The Houston Press is a nationally award-winning, 34-year-old publication ruled by endless curiosity, a certain amount of irreverence, the desire to get to the truth and to point out the absurd as well...