Five Spot: "Thriller" Goes Global

[Ed. note: Five Spot got bumped by the Latin Grammys Friday, so better late than never...]

Welcome back to Five Spot. Every week, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and list five reasons why it's either brilliant or dumb-assed. Send tips to [email protected].

Because it makes perfect sense, Miley Cyrus will be remaking the "Thriller" motif in her upcoming video for "Fly On The Wall" (which we will never hear but will steadfastly argue as being horrible, regardless) - except instead of zombies she'll be chased by paparazzi. In a hyphenated word: dumb-assed. But at least we got to peruse through Youtube for a few hours looking for "Thriller" remakes/renditions/reenactments.

1. The clear crown jewel of "Thriller" remakes is the Filipino prisoner version. And yes, the girl in the video is a balding man. Pacific Islanders are fuckin' cool, bro.

2. Easily 1a behind the prison remake is this Indian version. We really enjoy that it sounds so much like the "Thriller" remix that we made on our Casio keyboard in the seventh grade. And what lacks in choreography is made up for with an overabundance of creepiness. You know the face that you make when your fork accidentally touches a filing? We swear to God that we had that look on our face the entire time that we watched this.

3. We don't know why, we just liked this one. We suspect it has something to do with how crisp the sliding of their rented tuxedo shoes sounds. Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that you can talk a group of white guys into doing pretty much anything. Either way, this video makes the list.

4. This one isn't so much a good "Thriller" remake as it is an opportunity to call someone (or someones) a douchebag (or douchebags), which we never pass up. We love the idea that one of these responded to the Let's Make A Video Of Us Doing The Dance From "Thriller" proposition with "Okay, but only if we both wear camo jackets with no undershirts."

5. Dude, the next time a Marine tells me how rough and horrible serving their country is I am so going to call them on their bullshit. The next time a Marine tells me that Marines are stocky as shit, however, I would agree wholeheartedly. - Shea Serrano

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Shea Serrano