For Labor Day: 10 Songs About Childbirth

Cyril Connolly said "There is no more sombre enemy of good art than the pram in the hall." The famed English literary critic knew, like several here at Rocks Off, that having kids puts a hell of a dent in a parent's free time, and the constant demands of children can make attempts at creativity difficult. Then again, Connolly's most enduring work is a book dedicated to explaining why he never wrote his masterpiece, so fuck him.

Today is Labor Day. Every other music blog on the planet is going to post their work-related song lists, which will, naturally, include "Working for the Weekend" and "Take This Job and Shove It."

But not Rocks Off. "Labor" has more than one meaning, after all, and around here, it means "the act of squeezing a baby out of your naughty parts." At least that's the medical definition. Anyway, here are some songs about popping out babies.

Live, "Lightning Crashes": Rocks Off and our post-college roommate listened to Throwing Copper a lot while playing Sega NHL '93. For some reason, we always skipped "that placenta song."

Loudon Wainwright III, "Dilated to Meet You": That Loudon...always with the puns. Kinda gross, though.

Paul Anka, "(You're) Having My Baby": AKA The Obligatory Song. Anka almost sounds sincere in what would, for most of us, have been a real bring-down in the swinging '70s, man.

Lou Reed, "Beginning of a Great Adventure": If you think the former Velvet Underground frontman doesn't seem like kind of guy who'd be getting all sentimental at the prospect of bringing new life into the world, well...you'd be right. Still, he managed to let a little hope creep in at the end:

It might be fun to have a kid I could pass something on to

something better than rage, pain, anger and hurt


Suzanne Vega, "Birth-Day (Love Made Real)": Vega, on the other hand, is the anti-Lou Reed. Frankly, we're more inclined to trust Vega's instincts. seeing as she actually has a kid.

The Pretenders, "Show Me": Isn't this how every parent thinks when they make the insane decision to bring another person into the world? "Restore some pride and dignity to our world in decline?" Rocks Off thinks so.

Jon Anderson, "Animation": Jesus, who else but the guy who used to lead Yes could record a song about the birth of his child that lasts longer than the labor itself.

King Missile, "The Miracle of Childbirth": Probably more information about your conception, gestation and eventual birth than you ever wanted to know. Remember, "to some, it is proof that there is a god."

Built to Spill, "Cleo": After King Missile, we could all use a song sung from the fetus' point of view. Thanks, BTS.

Salt N Pepa, "Push It": Just for fun. Though Rocks Off has the feeling if we tried to play this in the delivery room, we'd have gotten a speculum up the ass.

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