If you spend any time on Facebook, you are probably familiar with the platform’s “reels,” shorts videos which appear periodically within your feed. Because Meta has been tracking my behavior, many if not most of the reels I see have something to do with music. Tips on how to spice up your gigs, suggestions for more productive band rehearsals, and that sort of thing.
But as of late, I have started to see a few regular video contributors who concentrate on musician jokes. Here are some of my favorites, both old and new:
What is the definition of perfect pitch? Landing a banjo in a dumpster from 20 feet away.
What do you say to a drummer wearing a coat and tie? “Will the defendant please rise.”
How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb? Five. One to change the bulb and four to say that they could have done it better and faster.
A little boy says to his mother, “When I grow up, I want to be a musician!” The mother smiles sadly and says, “Oh, Honey, you can’t do both.”
What’s the difference between a dead armadillo and a dead trombone player on the side of the road? The armadillo was on his way to a gig.
I’m here all week!
Ticket Alert
Tickets are on sale now for Chance the Rapper’s concert on Saturday, September 12, at the 713 Music Hall, a show which will celebrate the tenth anniversary of his 2016 mixtape Coloring Book. A VIP package is also available, one which includes a photo op with Chance himself, along with an autographed poster and that all important opportunity to buy merch before the great unwashed are allowed into the building.
So who would have thought a former CPA would turn into a renowned DJ, record producer and EDM maven? John Summit did. In 2019, Summit quit his “straight job” with the aim of becoming a megastar. And it worked! Summit will bring his “Ctrl Escape” tour to Toyota Center on Thursday, November 5, with the proviso that “18+ is recommended, but all ages are welcome.” So what does that mean? Nekkidity? Foul language? Something worse? Yep, this guy is one hell of a marketer.
Blues guitarist Tommy Castro and his band the Painkillers released a killer album last year, a disc called Closer to the Bone. You can hear selections from that record, along with highlights from his extensive catalog, when Castro performs on Thursday, November 12, at the Heights Theater.
Concerts This Week
In Todd Rundgren’s mind, he can’t win. He can play his hits (“Hello, It’s Me,” “Bang the Drum All Day”) and please the more casual fans or he can play relative obscurities and deep cuts, satisfying his more rabid fans, i.e. the “Hot Toddies.” Hence the name of his current tour, “Damned If I Do,” in which Rundgren will attempt to give both camps what they want during a single concert. This high wire act will take place tonight at the House of Blues. For more on Rundgren and his set list dilemmas, check out Classic Rock Bob’s Houston Press interview with the “wizard,” the “true star.”
When he was a high school senior in El Paso, Khalid was elected Prom King and Most Likely to Go Platinum. On the latter score, his classmates underestimated him, as Khalid has achieved multiplatinum status with a string of successful albums, starting with his 2017 debut American Teen. And how can you not like an artist who had a hit with a song called “Young Dumb and Broke”? Khalid performs on Thursday at the 713 Music Hall.
Kill switches are devices that stop a machine or a process when an emergency occurs. But the band Killswitch Engage didn’t get its name from this definition. No, the metalcore dudes drew on the title of an “X-Files” episode written by cyberpunk author William Gibson. Hey, it’s a better name than Overcast, Aftershock or Nothing Stays Gold, all outfits that band members played in prior to Killswitch Engage. Catch them on Saturday at the Bayou Music Center.
And speaking of names, for whatever reason, I have an aversion to artists / bands who insist on “stylized” versions of their handles, e.g. all caps, all lower case or maybe a symbol or number replacing a letter. Which brings us to A$AP Rocky, who will perform on Saturday at Toyota Center. First coming to prominence as a member of the A$AP Mob, Rocky helped to popularize the genre of cloud rap (ambient backing tracks with a new age vibe and a ton of reverb) as a solo artist. OK, Rocky, I went with the dollar sign this time, but it may not always be like this.
R and B chanteuse Summer Walker brings her “Still Finally Over It” tour to Toyota Center on Sunday, in support of her most recent release, Finally Over It. It seems that everyone wants to work with Walker these days, as the album sports guest shots from Teddy Swims, Doja Cat, Chris Brown and Mariah the Scientist among several others. ‘Cause Knowledge is Power: Observant folks may note that the album’s cover, a photo of Walker in a wedding dress standing next to an elderly gentleman in a wheelchair, might just bring to mind the May-December romance of Anna Nicole Smith and J. Howard Marshall. Just sayin’.
