Dear Willie D:
A female friend of my daughter’s called me up, and said I needed to look at her Instagram page. She had hundreds of pictures on there with a link to a private members-only website. I joined the site to educate myself before confronting her, and found out she was doing porn.
As her father, I have been in her life, and have lived in the same home with her and her mother from Day One, and never tried anything inappropriate with my daughter. So she isn’t the typical girl who gets into porn because of daddy issues. She is a 23-year-old grown woman, so she can do whatever she wants.
From a moral perspective, it’s embarrassing to know that my daughter is doing porn, but more important, I don’t think she realizes the dangers of being in the porn industry. Apart from diseases, she is opening herself up to stalkers, rapists and murderers.
It’s a lot to process. I don’t know what to do with this information, so I’m asking for your help. How should I approach her with what I know?
Naked Truth:
I need to do a little research first. Shoot me the link to her website? I’m just kidding. Talk to your daughter. Tell her how you feel, and warn her of the dangers of being a porn star. Tell her you don’t approve of what she’s doing, but you will always be there for her no matter what. Your speech will probably fall on deaf ears, but at least she’ll know you still love her and you have her back.
A parent’s job is to provide food, shelter, guidance, protection and love to his or her children. Once the kids are grown and gone, to love them is all that’s left. Everything else depends on your parental desire to help, and their willingness to accept your assistance.
BORED IN COLLEGE WITH NO FRIENDS
Dear Willie D:
I’m 2,100 miles away from home in college. I feel so alone because I have no friends. My two roommates do their own thing during the week, and they go home on the weekends or stay with their boyfriends off campus. My boyfriend lives in Cambridge, and I only get to see him on major holidays.
I’m bored to death, and I want to quit school. All I do is study and work. How do I overcome my boredom and become motivated again?
Bored & Friendless:
When I’m bored I usually write, work out, or get out and do something. I don’t know what your interests are, but it sounds like you could use a hobby. Learn a new language or an instrument. Read a book, or even better, write a book.
Boredom is really a state of mind. So train your mind to focus on pleasant things that interest you. If that’s not enough, get your Denzel on and do what you gotta do so you can do what you wanna do.
HOW DO I CUT OFF MY TOXIC BROTHER?
Dear Willie D:
My brother and I are 12 years apart in age. I’m the oldest, and going on 40. He is a loser by every meaning of the word. At one point he was strung out on drugs and living with me, but I had to kick him out because he became too dangerous to have around my kids.
He owed some thugs some money and they came to my house, forced their way in and pistol-whipped him in front of me and my kids. My mother and father are old, and they keep telling me to take him back in because he doesn’t have anywhere to live.
I told them that I would help him get an apartment, but he’s not staying at my house. But they are making me feel guilty. My mom calls me every day to tell me how selfish I am. I love my brother, but he is toxic. I don’t know what to do. Any help would be greatly appreciated as I am at my breaking point.
Breaking Point:
It’s easy for your parents to suggest that your brother live with you. They don’t have to worry about getting jumped and terrorized in their own home. You’re already doing what you need to do — keeping those babies and yourself out of harm’s way.
Anytime a relationship becomes dangerous, and is based on any form of abuse and negligence, it’s time to pick up your chips and exit the table.
WAS I WRONG FOR TELLING MY BOSS THE TRUTH ABOUT HIS UNETHICAL BEHAVIOR?
Dear Willie D:
The company I work for is a family business that I loved working for until three months ago, when we got an invoice from one of our accounts that overpaid us. It wasn’t just a small oversight either. They overpaid by thousands when they owed only a few hundred.
Instead of calling the client and correcting the problem, my boss told me to deposit the check, something I was skeptical of, but did anyway under duress. Because of this, he now watches me with a suspicious eye, as if he no longer trusts me. Do you think I should seek new employment before he fires me, or hang in there?
Under Duress:
Yeah, seeking new employment may not be a bad idea. The type of money you’re talking about draws the attention of the Feds, and when the Feds come knocking, everybody who had a speck of knowledge about what took place is going to jail.
Ask Willie D anything at willied.com/ask-willie-d, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
This article appears in Oct 20-26, 2016.
