I GAVE MY BOSS A BJ
Dear Willie D:
I work in the food industry. I’m a manager, and one of my job duties is to lock up for the night. One day after locking the doors, my boss and I had a few drinks, and I gave him a blow job in the kitchen. I’m engaged to be married, but he is single.
He wants me to break off my engagement and enter into a romantic relationship with him. Each time he sees my fiancé, he smiles and is very friendly, so my fiancé has no clue. To be honest, I don’t know what to do.
My boss is generous and exciting, while my fiancé is kind and loving. My mind tells me to go with my fiancé, but my body tells me to run off with my boss. What should I do?
I’m curious to know how old you are. You sound very young. Unfortunately, many people don’t appreciate “kind and loving” until they’ve been burned a few times. You’re not ready for marriage. So go ahead and break it off with your fiancé.
Run off with your boss. Shop till you drop. Gamble $500 chips in Vegas. Get freaky on a subway train in London. Have so much fun that people mistake you for a party promoter. When you’re done, and your boss becomes your ex, hope and pray you find another man with your fiancé’s qualities. He’ll be out there, but you’re going to go through hell trying to find him.
I’M JEALOUS OF MY DAUGHTER’S YOUTH & BEAUTY
Dear Willie D:
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I’m a 47-year-old divorcee who used to be the center of attention. Whenever I entered a room, I was the girl who turned heads — not anymore. My 22-year-old daughter gets all the glory now. I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m jealous of her to the point where I won’t ask her to go places with me if I think there’ll be men there who I might be interested in, or who might be interested in me.
I don’t want to like them only to find out they like my daughter. I’ve never been jealous of other women. People still tell me I still got it. But no matter how good I look, I’ll never be the prettiest girl in the room as long as my gorgeous younger daughter is in the same room.
This is causing me a lot of anxiety. What kind of mother am I to be jealous of my own daughter, and how do I let this go?
Some will vilify you for your honesty, but I find it refreshing and revealing. The mother-daughter comparison is one of the most interestingly beautiful comparisons of all. To witness the youth, imprudence and beauty of the daughter alongside the maturity, wisdom and elegance of the mother is a sight to behold.
Relying on your looks is not a long-term happiness strategy. There are more important things, such as are you kind and thoughtful? Is your daughter happy and considerate of others? Is she a good person? You let your jealousy of your daughter go by loving the stage of life you’re currently in, and embracing the stage of life that your daughter is in.
Being that I’m a man, I don’t have the societal pressures that are put on women to look attractive. But when I look at my son, I’m proud of his youthful, handsome looks. Why would I be jealous of him? I created him. If he don’t look good, I don’t look good.
SERVING MY COUNTRY COST ME MY COMPASSION
Dear Willie D:
I’m a U.S. Army Iraq War vet. I proudly served two tours of duty in Iraq. Though I had questions about our purpose there, I never complained. I took my orders, and carried out my missions with reckless abandon. I got injured by a roadside bomb in 2009 and lost the hearing in my right ear, and part of my right arm.
As a result, I returned home to my wife and kids with an honorable discharge for service to my country. I thought I would come home to a hero’s welcome. The people in my town were nice to me and thankful. But after two years of searching, I couldn’t find a decent job to feed my family. The only thing I was offered was entry-level positions.
It didn’t take long before we ran through our savings, which was responsible for a lot of tension between me and my wife. I started drinking heavily, and became abusive. I won’t go into details, but it was bad. We have been divorced now for two years.
Before I went to war, we were the perfect couple and had a great life. My whole life, I was told how nice of a guy I was. But the army did something to me. It took away my compassion. I’m not looking for answers, just a friendly ear.
I’m sorry to hear that. I can’t relate to what you went through on the battlefield, but I know what it’s like to not have compassion. I grew up in the hood, and I’ve seen my share of death and collateral damage. After a while it numbs you and makes you heartless. You start to see people as targets rather than human beings.
Get some professional help. Hang in there, man, and thank you for your service.
CPS REMOVED MY NEIGHBOR’S KID
Dear Willie D:
I sent you the letter about my neighbors abusing their son. After much agonizing, I decided to take your advice, contact CPS and file a report for suspected child abuse, and I’m glad I did. I also used my real name. Why hide when I did nothing wrong? I called the 800 number and was told by a male agent that anyone suspecting child abuse or neglect is required by law to report it.
I was home when they knocked on my neighbor’s door in full force. It was three CPS investigators and a police officer. After about 45 minutes, they removed the boy from the home. Later I was told by one of the investigators that there were signs of abuse. She also told me that she would keep me updated on the case.
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Thank you for pushing me to step up and do the right thing. I feel so much better.
Signs of Abuse:
No, thank you. My editor will be happy to know that people actually follow my advice. You did good.
Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.