In honor of Randy “That Was Hot!” Jackson, startlingly homely American Idol Season 6 auditionee Jennifer “The Hotness” Chapton, and rapidly shrinking boomer-rawk mag Rolling Stone – which boasts a “Hot List” annually – today’s edition of Idol Beat comes at you from a “Hot” perspective.
HOT ‘DO
Von Smith’s ludicrous, gravity-defying, Ed Grimley uplick last night. Was that a minor miracle of cosmologic science, the product of a liter or mousse, or, in my wife’s words, Von’s attempt to make himself look like “a duck’s ass”?
HOT GROUP 3 VICTORS
Lil Rounds (natch), Jorge Nunez (whaaa?) and Scott MacIntyre, who made through on sympathetic “he’s blind” votes; his “Mandolin Rain” performance Tuesday was unforgivably shakey. Last night’s reprise, though? A heck of a lot better, probably because the pressure was off.
HOT ACCESSORY
Randy’s black-rimmed, bloodd-tinted specs, which matched his zippered shirt adorned with sequins arranged in the shape of two guitars. I bet he’s all over this new U2 album.
HOT WILD CARD CONTESTANTS
Tatiana Del Toro: because out-and-out nutjobs are in short supply at this point.
Von Smith: because comic relief is in short supply at this point.
Jesse Langseth: just in case you didn’t have an excuse to hiss at your TV screen.
Megan Joy Corkrey: to demonstrate, again, that arm tattoos and baby-doll dresses don’t mix – like, at all.
Anoop: because he totally deserves it.
Also: Matt Giraud, Rickey Braddy, Jasmine Murray. Lord help us.
HOT SANJAYA BOOK QUOTE
…after the break! I kid. It’ll appear at the end of tomorrow’s Wild Card episode post.
This article appears in Mar 5-11, 2009.