Dear Willie D:
I’ve been smashing this girl at work for about a month now. She wants me to leave my girlfriend to be with her. The first time we had sex was in the men’s bathroom at work.
Sex with my girl is intimate. On a scale of 1-10, it is about a 7. But sex with her is a 10-plus. It’s raunchy, hot, wild and passionate. We bring out the freak in each other.
I was trying to have my cake and eat it too, but the girl at work is a fucking psycho. The last time we did it, she took the rubber off, and now she’s threatening to tell my girl if I don’t tell her first. I don’t want to lose my girl, Willie, because although I’m cheating on her, I still love her. Also, she’s five months pregnant, and we just got engaged. What’s my next move?
Side Chick Betrayal:
You need to neutralize the side chick’s ability to humiliate your girl by coming clean as soon as possible. At least if your girl already knows the situation, and the side chick does rat you out, it won’t sting as much, and your girl can maintain her dignity because she would’ve already braced herself.
A man’s number one priority is to protect his family. Your chance to prove that you are capable of doing so will depend on whether or not there’s any trust left. For the sake of your unborn child, let’s hope so.
HOW DO I GET MY MONEY BACK FOR A CAR I BOUGHT ONLINE?
Dear Willie D:
I paid $5,500 for a used 2007 Acura TL I saw on eBay. The mileage was a little high, but after seeing the pictures and getting assurance from the seller that the car was in excellent condition, I bought it.
I bought a one-way ticket to New Orleans to pick the car up, and everything was fine until I got halfway back to Houston. The car started smoking and overheating. After searching the Internet to see what could be wrong, I found out that the Acura TL has a history of overheating and it would likely be expensive to repair.
Since everything was closed, I had to get the car towed the rest of the way to Houston in the middle of the night (180 miles), which cost me another $535. The seller refuses to take the car back or pay for the repairs because I bought the car “as is,” and I have tried to get a refund through eBay and PayPal, since that’s who processed my order, but they won’t help me.
I had my mechanic look at the car and sure enough, the radiator is blown, so that’s another $350. At this point I just want to return the car. I’ll eat the towing charges. What other options do I have to get my money back?
You bought a used car “as is,” which means the seller gave you notice that you were taking a risk on the condition and quality of goods you purchased. As a buyer, you are free to inspect the goods before purchase, but if you buy the goods and any defect is discovered after purchase, you have no recourse against the seller.
You could threaten the seller with a lawsuit, but you’ll just be wasting your money if he calls your bluff and you go through with it. I hate to tell you, player, but money gone.
MY MAN MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M NOT ENOUGH
Dear Willie D:
I’m a 27-year-old woman who loves her man to death. The problem is, I don’t know if he feels the same. He never compliments me. When we first met, he would take me everywhere. Now we hardly go anywhere anymore. But he is always out with his friends.
Although I’m the same person as far as shape and size, he doesn’t look at me the same as he used to. We were watching TV one day and he saw a girl on a show and commented, “If I had a woman that fine, I would never leave home.” That hurt.
I don’t think he’s cheating, because I pay all the bills and I’ve seen his credit card and phone records, and nothing appears to be out of place. But you never know. I don’t know, sorry for rambling. I’m just trying to get some clarity on what could be going on with him.
The Same Person:
The first thing that’s going on with him is, he’s disrespectful. I don’t care what a man is going through with his woman, even if he does feel something for another woman, it is a cardinal sin to make his woman feel as though he thinks another woman is more attractive than she is. Even if she thinks it herself, she should never feel that her man shares that belief.
There seems to be a lot going on with this guy. He’s hard to read, but if I had to take a shot at it in the dark, I would say he has a side chick. But before you jump to conclusions, talk to him and tell him how you feel. If you have never told him, tell him what you want and expect out of the relationship.
If he wants to be with you, he will hop on the bus and start treating you better. If not, it doesn’t take a genius to go in that closet, stuff a couple of suitcases and ease on down the road like Dorothy and her rat-pack group of friends did in The Wizard of Oz.
MY FRIENDS MAKE FUN OF THE MUSIC I LISTEN TO
Dear Willie D:
All of my friends are in their early twenties and they listen to hip-hop all day. I like some rap, but I come from a musical background. My dad was in a popular jazz band, and my mom was a backup singer and dancer for a soul group for many years, so I listen to everything. I even like country music.
Whenever my friends get into my car and the stereo is on, it’s always a mountain of insults and jokes about my music. It’s to the point where I’m starting to not like them. One of my friends, who I knew for three years before I ever met the other two, never said a negative word about my taste in music until she started hanging with the other girls.
I called her and was like, "Why did you switch up on me?" But she played dumb and denied it. I don’t make fun of the crap rap they listen to, so why do they think it’s okay to make fun of the music I listen to?
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People make fun of other people’s taste in music for the same reason they make fun of people from other backgrounds and ethnicities — because it’s different.
The inability to appreciate and be tolerant of that which is different is the single greatest failure of human beings.
Ask Willie D anything at willied.com/ask-willie-d, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.