My Son's Friend Saw Me Naked. Help!

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Dear Willie D:

I used to not think anything of showering with the bathroom door unlocked because I live alone with my son. We have a rule: If the door is shut, knock. I’m not one of those free-spirited mothers who walk around the house in their undergarments, so you can imagine how mortified I was to have my son’s friend walk in on me while I was showering.

He came in to use the bathroom just as I was drying off my legs. He quickly turned to walk away, but not before seeing my goodies. When I got out of the shower, I was so embarrassed that I went straight to my bedroom, and didn’t come out until I knew he had left.

I haven’t told my son what happened, but I’m wondering, is this something that I need to address with his friend? Since he’s only 14 (the same age as my son), as the adult, I’m thinking maybe I should talk to him about his feelings to make sure he wasn’t traumatized. What do you think?

Drying Off:

Allow me to put myself in the boy’s shoes for a moment. [Jeopardy music in the background]. Okay, as a 14-year old kid, I don’t think I would be traumatized by seeing my friend’s mom naked unless her body was not so banging.

So I don’t know if a talk would do anything for me. What are you going to tell him? Son, what you saw was a naked woman, and naked women take showers naked? It’s probably best to leave it alone. But if you must say something, give him a piece of mind by explaining the closed door/ knock policy in your house. But reassure him that you’re not mad at him, because it was unintentional.

Don’t make it seem too serious. There’s a good chance that he was just as embarrassed as you were.


Dear Willie D:

I don't see my mom often because she works out of town a lot. Whenever she comes into town, she wants me to drop all my plans and hang out with her. I have my own family and life, and I can’t just accommodate her whenever she gets a wild hair and wants to act like a mother.

It’s really getting tiring having to explain to her that I have plans. She just got back in town today, and asked me to go out of town with her for vacation. When I told her I couldn’t, she started crying and trying to make me feel guilty. How do I get it through to her that I’m a grown woman with a functioning family, not a kid with idle time?

Getting Tiring:

Just be straight-up with her and say, "Mom, I love you, but I have my own family now and personal obligations to meet. I can’t just drop whatever I’m doing whenever you come to town. I would love to hang out with you, but you have to give me a heads-up so that I can plan my schedule around your arrival and stay." 

You don’t have to put yourself out too much. But whenever possible, make an exception to go out of your way to hang out with your mom. She’s probably lonely, and needs a friend.


Dear Willie D:

I’m not asking for any life advice. I just wanted to know who is your favorite gangster in history. Mine is Jesse James.

Not Asking:

The Gangsta of Love, of course. Because nothing’s more gangsta than self-love.


Dear Willie D:

My friends are always ganging up on me whenever we hang out or go shopping. They all came to my baby shower, and started questioning how is it that I’m the first one to get pregnant and have a wedding when I’m not the one who guys approach.

I laughed it off, but after everything was over, one of my friends called me to say I should have said something to them. I guess I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. Do you think their comments were made with malicious intent, or do you think my friend was trying to be messy? By the way, the friend who called me has a reputation for being messy.

Benefit of Doubt:

It’s hard to say whether or not your messy friend was being messy again, but for your friends to basically say you’re the last one on the totem pole any guy would approach is pretty sheisty. The next time you go shopping, throw some new friends in the bag.

Ask Willie D anything at willied.com/ask-willie-d, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.

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