Screwston, Texas

Rap Round Table: The Red Beast Is Nearing. Are You Prepared?

Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture.

This Week's Panel: Fat Tony, KAB, Kyle Hubbard, Zavey, Medicine Girl, Mac, Eskabel, Delo, D-Risha, RoderickVonn, A.D.D.

Not Invited: Mario O., who, at John Glenn Elementary in San Antonio in 1992, gave out Valentine's Day cards to several girls with boogers inside of them.

This Week's Prompt: Since it's almost here, here's a pretty ridiculous question: What makes for an appropriate gift for a rapper to give his Valentine?

Brad Gilmore: hasHBrown's Relationsh*t. Nothing more, nothing less.

Fat Tony: A Too Short CD.

KAB: I'm not a rapper.

Rap Round Table: Oh, sorry. Well, what does a monster get his significant other? A box of dismembered limbs?

KAB: Some chocolate covered limbs.

Kyle Hubbard: I let my Valentine take me out for a fancy dinner at an overpriced restaurant and then I let her pay the bill. She loves it.

Rap Round Table: That does sound lovely.

Zavey: A hug.

Medicine Girl: A copy of his (free) mixtape and 'deeeezzz nutz,' or the 'Vitamin D,' as they say.

Mac: Some lingerie is always good to get your chick for Valentine's Day; a professional massage, some candy, jewelry...

Eskabel: I don't have a Valentine, so I wouldn't know.

Delo: Brown Sugar soundtrack.

D-Risha: I would say a simple, obvious yet sappy gift would be a song dedicated to his girl. [laughs] Simple, effective and easy on the pocket.

RoderickVonn: It's time to disappear for the day.

A.D.D.: A trip to Hawaii on a social media retreat while listening to my album, The Aspiring Me, early.

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Shea Serrano