Date: March 17
Name: Gary Allan
AKA: “The Media Assassin”…sorry, that’s Harry Allen
Genre: Latter Day country
Best Known Song(s): “Man to Man,” “Nothing On But the Radio,” “If You Don’t Know Me By Now”
Key Demographic: Dallas Cowboys fans (sorry, that’s Larry Allen), DC Comics enthusiasts (sorry, that’s Barry Allen)
Previous HLSR Appearances: 1997, 2009
Houston Connections, If Any: Like Houston’s terrain, Allan is mostly flat and unchallenging
If You Like This, Chances Are You’ll Like: Plain yogurt, shortbread cookies, unflavored ice milk
Odds of Wearing a Hat: Not very
Because He/She’s Bald? Allan’s spiky-haired ‘do is what you’d get if Dane Cook had Keith Urban’s hairline. He’ll still go hatless though.
Odds of Onstage Injury: >10%: Allan is pretty wiry, we imagine he can take a fall
Any Other Cheap Jokes at the Expense of His Generic Name? “Didn’t he used to command the 104th Infantry Division?”
This article appears in Mar 11-17, 2010.
