This past week, it was announced that Cee Lo Green and NBC are working together to develop a new autobiographical sitcom based on and starring the soul singer. This is, of course, a terrible idea. Sure, Cee Lo is a great singer and he's done some acting, but would his life really make a great sitcom? Probably not.
But these days, NBC's ratings are in the toilet and their sitcom breadwinner, The Office, is ending this season, which means they're desperate to do just about anything to get a hit. Since Cee Lo is already a star on their hit reality show The Voice, NBC is probably thinking that will translate into an awesome sitcom the likes of which the network hasn't seen since the powers that be forced them to cancel Outsourced.
Still, why Cee Lo? Sure, Steven Tyler was a hit on American Idol, but you don't see Fox giving him a slot in Animation Domination (although an animated comedy starring Steven Tyler might actually be pretty funny). There are plenty of musicians whose lives would make great sitcoms though and it's about time that a major network gave some of these people the chance they deserve to be the next Seinfeld. People like...
5. Bob Dylan
Some have called him "Judas." He called them "wussies and pussies." Now Bob Dylan would star in his very own sitcom as your crotchety, cranky old grandpa. Dylan's no stranger to the screen, as we covered earlier in the week, but he's never been very successful. Maybe it's just that he's never found the right role.
This, however, is the role Dylan was born to play. He was bitter enough when he was young, but now that he's old, he's basically Shit My Dad Says as a folk troubadour. And since it worked out so well turning that into a sitcom the first time, why not do it all over again? I mean, NBC is taking their fiftieth chance on a former Friends star this season, so really, why not?
4. Rick Ross
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Rick Ross is a lot like Cee Lo in that he's a plus-size black man, which is about as much thought as a major television network puts into anything, so they might as well be the same person to NBC. So why not give Rick Ross a sitcom where he can live out all those fantasies of being a crime lord he talks about in his songs? We've already seen that he's a master of make-believe when it comes to the drug trade. We've also already seen that his lyrics are often downright hysterical in their ludicrous boasts and imaginative claims.
In this new show, Rick Ross could play Rick Ross (the fictional version) and do all those things he talks about in his songs. This would probably end up being a bit of a black comedy, considering how many people Rick Ross has supposedly killed or beaten up, but think of it like The Sopranos meets Arrested Development and it's golden.
3. Kanye West
Kanye is an artist very frequently misunderstood. When he compares himself to Hitler in a positive way, when he interrupts award acceptance speeches complaining about the results, when he makes political statements in charity settings, Kanye is just expressing deeper truths which the American public has trouble understanding.
He's a deep poetic soul and people just can't grasp that. What they can grasp is the sitcom. I mean, Charlie Sheen said some deep things that people thought were crazy too, but because he was a sitcom star, people forgave him.
So to better express himself, Kanye needs a sitcom where he can really let loose with the truth in a bite-sized pill form for the American people. I'm imagining him single, living in New York, dating Playboy models and living the high life until... his previously unheard-of aunt drops his six year old niece off on his doorstep. Suddenly Kanye has to deal with all the pressures of being a misunderstood genius along with all the pressures of being a good father figure and role model to a young girl.
2. Marilyn Manson
Marilyn Manson is a man caught between two worlds. All we see of him is his life as a famous shock-rock superstar. We never see what it must be like to also just be a human being like everyone else, when everyone around him is demanding he perform. How does he balance that life?
More importantly, how does he balance that life when by chance he inherits his long-lost uncle's farm and ends up in a rural town in Georgia? Imagine Manson surrounded by simple farming folks who have never even heard of him, much less seen anyone that dresses like him. It's Green Acres for a new generation!
1. Randy Travis
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OK, we here at Rocks Off poke a lot of fun at the guy for his recent personal problems. We even laid out five possible futures for the country star that didn't include a sitcom. But when you really think about it, he stands for all the traditional values that sitcom dads should stand for. He enjoys a good beer or ten, he stands up for his spouse no matter what the cost, he has strong Christian values, he's not afraid to speak his mind, he seems, let's say, confused by the way modern society expects him to behave, and, best of all, he's recently bitterly divorced.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Randy Travis as a single dad, trying to re-enter the dating world while balancing his time with his daughter and his time at the bar with the boys. Somehow at the end of every episode he ends up naked in a convenience store demanding cigarettes. Oh, that lovable Randy!