In case you were asleep this morning when it happened, we bombed the moon. Twice!
Our unprovoked attack upon our unsuspecting orbital neighbor was ostensibly for purposes of locating water particles in the dust cloud kicked up by the impact, but really, we’re pretty sure it’s the end result of some kind of “What’s the most awesome thing we can get the taxpayers to pay for?” brainstorming session.
Unfortunately, the bombing was a bit of a letdown, with the impact not even visible on the zoomed-in, heat-register cameras of NASA TV. We won’t even link to the boring-ass seven-minute video they’ve posted. Instead, we’ll link to some songs perfect for raining hell into the Sea of Tranquility. Because you know we’re going to have to try again, right?
Oh yeah, bigger and better. We’re thinking Daisy cutters, at the very least. The moon has been turning Earth’s citizens into werewolves for far too long, and now that smug fucker is going to pay.
This article appears in Oct 8-14, 2009.