Screwston, Texas

Six People Who Should Have Never Tried To Rap

The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place -lots of times, you're even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good- so once a week we're going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Have something you always wanted to ask a rapper? Email [email protected].

This Week's Rapper: K.A.R.O.

This Week's Subject(s): Non-rappers as rappers

K.A.R.O., "The Light"

K.A.R.O., "The Light"

(produced by gene_one21ten)

Ask A Rapper: So this one sort of writes itself. One of the guys from the Harry Potter movies is considering a transition into a rapping career. This, should it come to fruition, will almost certainly be unpleasant. [Ed. Note: Tom Felton, who plays Harry's platinum-blonde nemesis Draco Malfoy, has since said he was joking and his comments were taken out of context.]

The question, then: Who were the six worst non-rapping dudes/femmes that tried to make a go of it as a rapper? Let's avoid any athletes, because that'd be way too easy. Six. And you're off..

1. Nick Cannon

K.A.R.O.: It's just the fact that he was a Nickelodeon comedian. I could not take him seriously at all. Great businessman/entertainer, but not a rapper.

*We were actually going to make a little note here abou how Cannon's flute-fluttery "Gigolo," that song he did with R. Kelly in the early aughts, was kind of fun and maybe even a little charming, but we had it playing in the background while we were typing this and just threw up all over the place.

2. Tyrese

K.A.R.O.: He played in two hard movies; Baby Boy and Waist Deep. I guess that made him wanna rap. He's a great singer... that sings love songs. Rapping about the streets wasn't gone [sic] fly.

3. Terrence Howard

K.A.R.O.: He's a great actor, that's why he was so convincing in Hustle and Flow. So with that said, he did right by sticking with acting. It's hard out here for a pimp.

4. Brandy

K.A.R.O.: No! [laughs]

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Shea Serrano