The 2014 Houston Texans have a new coach, new players, new hope and the same dedicated fan base of Houston-based rappers. As in years past, they took to Twitter on game day to comment on the home team’s gridiron action.

And, as in years past, Rocks Off read their tweets more thoroughly and efficiently than Tony Romo reads defenses. Here are the best of the bunch from the worst Texans effort of the new season, a Giant disappointment with the good guys on the wrong end of a 30-17 score.

10. His Mind Was Playin’ Tricks On Him

9. But It Would Happen Again…and Again…

8. KUBIAKISH adjective: 1. Conservative, fearful, unimaginative.

7. DeAndre Hopkins’ Play of the Game, Negated By a Penalty

6. What Bill O’ Brien Should Have Told His Team At The Half #knuterockne

5. Some Comic Relief From Bob Biggerstaff, Houston Comedian (Though Biggerstaff Would Be a Great Rap Name)

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4. Foster the People

3. Mr. C

2. Jack Freeman

1. Willie D

ROCKS OFF’S GREATEST HITS

The Ask Willie D Archives Houston’s Top 10 Places to Drink Alone Music’s Biggest Douchebags (2013) All the Houston References On Drake’s Nothing Was the Same Rest of the Best: Houston’s Top 10 Bars

This article appears in Sep 18-24, 2014.

Jesse’s been writing for the Houston Press since 2013. His work has appeared elsewhere, notably on the desk of the English teacher of his high school girlfriend, Tish. The teacher recognized Jesse’s...