The Houston Texans’ 2015 season began with HBO’s Hard Knocks introducing the team to America at large. It took a month of filming and some fancy editing to present to the nation our sometimes thrilling and frequently frustrating NFL franchise. Home Box Office could have saved all that time and money by just directing the curious to the Twitter accounts of Houston’s most notorious rappers. Keeping a tradition alive, we’ve once again collected some of the most insightful Tweets these artists/Texans fans shared on game day, a day where there was more tackle in a shuttered Galveston bait shop than in the Texans’ defense.
Because of the team’s comical ineptitude in a 44-26 loss to the Miami Dolphins, this week’s edition of Rapper Tweets includes some much-needed levity from some of Houston’s best comics, some of whom will be featured at next month’s Houston Whatever Fest. That event will also showcase a nice marriage of music and comedy, minus the Texans’ humiliating gridiron antics.
10. First Quarter, 3 Minutes Left: Dolphins 21, Texans 0
9. Dolphnado!
8. When You Start Ryan Tannehill Against the Texans
7. Clowney’s First NFL Sack: Dolphins 41, Texans 0
6. End Zone Dance Fatigue Slowed the Fins’ Scoring
5. Not A Rapper. Or a Comedian. But Still Pretty Funny.
4. Sarcasm, They Name Is GT Mayne
3. They Stink
2. Texans Open as a 6 Point Dog Against The Katy Tigers Next Week
1. The Funny Yet Sad Truth
This article appears in Oct 22-28, 2015.
