Whatever

The 10 Least Subtle Song Titles of All Time

Now I was a singer in a band, and that band wrote a song called "You Cannot Kill David Arquette." We wrote a lot of other songs, too, and most of them had more esoteric and poetic titles. Still, that's the one I like the best because it's just as bald as you can be. Here's David Arquette, and you can't kill him because he's like a ninja/X-Men/member of the Fellowship of the Ring.

I can't really stress how much brain damage I've incurred over the years but it's a lot.

Don't get me wrong, I love a good song title that makes you ponder every possible double meaning and entendre within a web of lyrics, but sometimes it's fun to just take the pants off the things and let the wang of musical triumph just dangle with pride. Today we salute the floppy cock of blunt statements.

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Jef Rouner is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner