Officially: Hoodstar Chantz, Houston's motor-mouthed motor-mouth, is Dionysius. And Before the Fame, his latest tape, is his pinecone-tipped staff.
There are choruses here and bits there that can be passed over -there is a love song called "Far Away" that shows up about two-thirds of the way through the LP; it feels like if someone were trying to have a sincere conversation about love in a strip club--but it is mostly a strong, entertaining, cocksure album.
Chantz does not dabble in allusion. He does not care about your bummy ass clothes or your bummy ass women or your bummy ass anything, really. Matter of fact, he's repulsed by them. And he spends the bulk of BTF, nearly an hour, making fun said bummies.
To wit: There are seventeen songs on Fame. Within them, there 211 instances where Chantz talks shit. TWO-HUNDRED AND ELEVEN, bro. That's nearly a 13:1 insult to song ratio. And that's fantastic fun. Plenty of them are entertaining. Some are plaintive, some are clever, and some are just brutal. These are the 35 best though.
Note: Words in parenthesis are notes from us. Just so you know.
*All the hoes on my dick, on my dick 'cause I'm on my shit.
*Bitch, I'm clearly the hottest. (Bitch, he's clearly the hottest.)
*These weak niggas ain't scaring me.
*If she's bugging, I cut her. (It's assumed he means "leave" or "dispose of" when he says "cut," though I guess intending to literally cut her isn't entirely out of reason.)
*Your money funny, you get silly.
*You a bummy nigga with dumb tats. (Favorite. I mean, who says that shit?)
*I always forget her until I see her on pictures.
*I'm a factor, no pastor, but they gotta pay for my message.
*Bitch, I don't wait in no line. (Favorite. Please, please, please someone put this on a t-shirt.)
*My outfit's spectacular, make all the girls wanna back it up.
*Cameras flash, I pose. (His swag is instinctive, son.)
*Your girl is staring at my clothes.
*Don't get mad 'cause I'm fresh as fuck and look wack as hell in your white tee.
*In V.I.P., standing on the couch, bad bitch standing next to me. (Great brag. Everybody's seen the asshole in the V.I.P. section standing on the couch before.)
*Hoes all on my dick. (Separate song than the one mentioned above; still effective).
*Motherfucker, you lame. (By God's decree, thou art lame.)
*Your girl keeps calling my phone. (If that's true, this one extra-stings.)
*I got the head and I got the bread, I tell her "Leave me alone." (Dang. Pretty much the worst Valentine's Day of her life, probably.)
*Why's your bitch asking me questions, trying to sneak all in my [V.I.P.] section?
*My swagger right, I'm so boss. You outta date, you so lost.
*Motel or hotel, I never bring a bitch to my house. (You never wanna be the Motel Girl in this equation.)
*I'm fresh as hell. You hate me, huh?
*You wanna bop 'cause I caught a buzz.
*I call it lust when you wanna fuck. You keep in touch and you call it love.
*I don't understand why you bugging me, keep talking about you're in love with me. (I think I read this on a greeting card once.)
*No room for you, bitch, get out. Get out, get kicked out. (Three times he tells her to get out. Three. Fuck, man.)
*You can pout your lips and say I tripped, but get your shit and get out. (Four times.)
*Never ask where my shows at, but always ask where my hoes at. Wanna use my shit, wanna wear my fit; broke nigga, where is your clothes at? (hahahaha)
*Nigga, I ain't your friend. And I damn sure ain't your kin. Yeah, you can come to the club, but I ain't getting your ass in.
*I'm that nigga you saw on Twitter, but hell nah, I won't follow back. (The very first time we saw Chantz live was at a mixer. He was participating in a cypher, freestyling about this and that. At one point, he remarked that he met a girl online, saying he took her back to his house and that she gave him a blowjob. The punchline was something like, "I made that bitch swallow, then kicked her out, jumped on Twitter, and then clicked Unfollow." That's pretty brilliant.)
*I like strippers 'cause they don't complain. (This is actually pretty damn insightful.)
*V.I.P., we acting a nut. Is that your girl asking to fuck?
*Fendi my bitch, but I cheated on her with Donna Karan.
*I got bad bitches. Your girl's sorta fine.
*I keep these bitches legs open like the Jordan sign.
Follow Hoodstar Chantz on Twitter at @HoodstarChantz. Download Before the Fame for free at Bandcamp.
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