“This lady is trying to listen to Radiohead and all she can hear is your story about the urinal.”
“USA! USA! USA!”
— So, I’m not entirely sure what the group of bros chanting this was trying to accomplish by jumping up and down and yelling during The Naked and Famous’ set, but being an avid pro-wrestling fan, I think they were hoping an American indie/electronic band would run in and clear them off the stage (TNAF are from New Zealand), but that’s not how concerts work, thankfully.
“It smells like someone is smoking Skittles.”
“Yeah I smell that.”
“Did they just saw the Cowboys are the best team? They must be from fucking Canada.”
“The problem with Kanye is he’s a genius and he knows it.”
“Cashless wristbands. We can think of something better.”
“What? That’s not good enough.”
“I’m not going to splash blood on you, so if you splash blood on me I’m going to beat your ass.”
“Are there nap stations here?”
Interesting thought: How many babies across the country would be made if The Suffers and St. Paul and the Broken Bones toured together?
“Hey, Burning Man Austin is cool!”
“That kid could be right in front of me right now and I’d never know.”
“That’s weird how that happened as soon as I stood up.”
Most stupid question overheard: “What are you doing in Austin, Texas right now?”
“I don’t need your fucking negativity. That’s not what I paid money for.”
— a girl to the dude she was with. She explained her position for a few more minutes before grabbing his arm to leave. He shrugged her off, turned around and walked into the sea of people going to see Major Lazer, never to return. She stood and stared for a good three minutes before pulling out her phone and wandering away in the opposite direction.
“Turtle! Turtle! Turtle! Turtle!”
“They miss more than half of the shows leaving early to find another spot for the next one.”
“Uhh no, we’re dressed waaaaay too inappropriate.”
This article appears in Sep 29 – Oct 5, 2016.
