The Best Things We Overheard at Untapped Houston

By Jack Gorman and Angelica Leicht

“Wait. This isn’t cider. I thought this was cider. This is beer. Like, beer beer. Oh, God…GROSS!”

Cute woman with a dog approaches a couple hanging out in VIP: ** “Hey, there. So which beers have you guys liked the best so far? Oh, I’m with the fest, by the way.”
** “Oh, uh…wait, what? You’re with the feds?”
** “No, man. I’m with the FEST. THE FEST.”
** “Oh, thank God. I was about to have to jet!”

REWIND: The Best Acts at Untapped Houston 2014

“This would taste awesome if it had Jack Daniels in it.”

“Watch the baby’s face. Watch the baby’s face!”

— very protective family who were surrounding the toddler sleeping on a blanket, as a very enthusiastic headbanger came a bit too close to her for comfort

“Let’s roll this and smoke it”

— one guy to his friend at the Sierra Nevada booth, which had a table covered in hops

“There’s no soap. Wait, there’s no soap! Now what?!”

— some guy outside the portapotties as we both furiously tried for hand sanitizer. There was none, so we just walked away with our heads hung in shame.

Story continues on the next page.

“If I let her cook for me, I wonder what she would make”

— in response to the Suffers’ Kam Frankin singing, “Come on let me cook for you, baby!”

“Faster! Faster? Are you Ricky Bobby? You want to go faster? Ohh, that’s exciting.”

— Kam Franklin, in response to a fan request

“What is wrong with people that don’t like Houston!?!”

“Come here and talk to me, girl. I’ll buy you a drink.”

“Dude, quit yelling ‘Tyler.’ They’re gonna play it last.”

— to an overly enthusiastic Toadies fan

ROCKS OFF’S GREATEST HITS

The Ask Willie D Archives Top 10 Bars Where Your Dog Will Be Welcome, Too The 10 Worst Metal Bands of the ’80s 25 Ways to Know You Spend Too Much Time in Montrose Houston’s Top 10 Hookup Bars

Follow @hprocksoff