WTF Island

Understanding the Rock Hall's 2013 Nominees: Chic? Kraftwerk? Butterfield?

Wednesday night The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Foundation announced their 2013 nominees for induction next year. These names will be voted on by a committee of guys in bad weaves, rich people who know the right people, and tenured music writers with axes to grind.

The names are as follows:

The Paul Butterfield Blues Band, Chic, Deep Purple, Heart, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, Albert King, Kraftwerk, The Marvelettes, The Meters, Randy Newman, N.W.A, Procol Harum, Public Enemy, Rush, and Donna Summer (who just passed away this past May).

As I just finished that paragraph, a friend texted to me to say that "The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame can eat a dick."

That seems to be the sentiment every year around this time when the Rock Hall list comes out, and the hate train doesn't stop until just after the induction ceremony in the spring.

Sorry again, Cheap Trick. One of you has to die to get in I guess.

Why do we keep complaining, when we know that the powers that done be won't listen anyway? Go back to bed, Rock America.

"Our favorites will never make it, the bands that populate our prized record collections will never see themselves on a plaque in Cleveland (CLEVELAND!) and the Hall is for old fuckers anyhow," goes the argument.

Let it also be noted that EPMD, Jane's Addiction, and the Pixies were also newly eligible this year. For further frustrations, please visit the Future Rock Hall eligibles list, by year. Next year, Nirvana comes to bat.

The Rock Hall is opening up the ballots to the public, but that is with only 0.17% of the total vote. So in this voting instance, it doesn't really even matter.

People can't even agree on whether or not rap, disco, dance, or electronic music belongs in the Rock Hall either. The argument that rap and rock share the same essential spirit falls on deaf and def ears most of the time.

For the Rock Hall to honestly not infuriate you, reality has to be suspended. Rationality has to be thrown under the bus.

Let's look at the names on this year's ballot, using the tool of objectivity. The arguments are not my own, but pulled from the crevices of my mind unclouded by fandom. Farce time.

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Craig Hlavaty
Contact: Craig Hlavaty