This has been one of the weirdest NFL seasons in my five decades of watching the sport. If you bought a ticket back in September to Sunday’s Texans versus Browns game, you had dreams of a C.J. Stroud versus Deshaun Watson battle. Instead, not only did you get Case Keenum and Joe Flacco, but you got a better version of Flacco than you ever saw with Baltimore, aside from his magical 2012 postseason run.
The Browns wound up and kicked the Texans’ playoff chances squarely in the junk on Sunday, running roughshod over them from literally the opening kickoff, a 36-yard return from Browns kick returner Pierre Strong. One play later, Flacco hit Amari Cooper for 53 yards, and three plays after that, the Browns scored, and the rout was on.
The Texans added some garbage time yards, a couple garbage time touchdowns, but it didn’t really matter. Anyone watching the game knew the real story.
Final score. Browns 36, Texans 22
I’m not going to do a deep, analytical dive on this one. It was an asskicking, plain and simple, where the Texans entered the game shorthanded (no C.J. Stroud, Will Anderson, or Blake Cashman), and left even more shorthanded (losing Jimmie Ward and Jon Greenard). Let’s do some quick winners and losers, and move onto the holidays:
WINNERS
4. Dameon Pierce
I hate that Dameon Pierce has seen his playing time dwindle so much this season. He is clearly taking a back seat in the running game, behind Devin Singletary, who’s been one of the most productive backs in the league since Week 10. So this was nice to see — literally, the only good play all day from the Texans:
3. C.J. Stroud
Stroud has spent longer in the concussion protocol than your average NFL player, as he hit the two week mark on Sunday. It sounds like things are progressing to where Stroud could put his Superman cape on next weekend against the Titans. That said, in a game where the Browns’ relentless defensive front chased Case Keenum all over the place for a half, Stroud was probably better off not subjecting himself to any hits this week. I’m not sure it would have mattered having him out there.
2. Davis Mills, garbage time eater of worlds
For the entirety of the season, Mills had been Stroud’s backup, entering a few games, at various times, for snaps when Stroud would leave banged up. Then in the lead up to the Tennessee game last week, somewhere along the way, the Texans decided to roll with Case Keenum as their starter. Hey, it worked, so no complaints there. However, perhaps Mills made a case (no pun intended) to resume second string duties when Stroud returns, with a fourth quarter where he was able to generate the only real offense all day.
1. Amari Cooper
Eleven catches, 265 yards, 2 touchdowns. From literally the first play from scrimmage, through the two point conversion to make it 36-7, he dominated the Texans today. Let’s just leave it at that.
LOSERS
4. The legend of Case Keenum
Not only did the offense look like a high school team against a bunch of men with Keenum in there, but there were some disturbing points in the game where Keenum started doing things that plagued him all the way back in 2013, when he started eight games for the Texans. On one sack, he started meandering backwards to keep the play alive, and all he was doing was tacking more yards onto a Browns’ sack. He had an interception where he literally just threw it up for grabs. I love Case Keenum, but I kind of wish he could have dropped the mic after last week’s win.
3. Texans 2022 draft class
The Texans have assembled a decent young group of foundational players, including their franchise quarterback and their most disruptive defensive force. However, the draft class of 2022 is looking very shaky at the top. The Texans selected four players in the top 44 selections of that draft, and right now, three are either struggling mightily or are on the way to flat out bust. Kenyon Green has missed the entire season with an injury (after an awful rookie season), John Metchie III can’t get open (and dropped a TD pass on Sunday), and Jalen Pitre was benched for big chunks of the second half. It’s a good thing Derek Stingley’s hamstring recovered, or the 2022 draft class would be a nuclear disaster, at the moment.
2. Playoff margin for error
While beating Cleveland would have been nice, empirically, this was the least important of the three remaining games, because it was outside the division. While thee Browns solidified a playoff spot, and it appears the Bills are ready to snag one of the other two wild card spots, the Texans still have over a 90 percent chance of making the playoffs, if they win out, but they are out of mulligans. Any more losses, and they leave it in the hands of several other teams to decided their playoff fate.
1. DeMeco Ryans’ Coach of the Year candidacy
Through 15 weeks, the Coach of the Year award seemed to have boiled down to four candidates — Ryans, Cleveland’s Kevin Stefanski, Indianapolis’ Shane Steichen, and Detroit’s Dan Campbell. Despite Sunday’s result, Ryans still has a great chance to win, if the Texans go 10-7, but Stefanski has won games with four different quarterbacks, and head to head, he clearly outreached Ryans on Sunday.
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This article appears in Jan 1 – Dec 31, 2023.
