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| HSPCA |
| Ve haff vays of makink you adopt. |
The Houston Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals describes Prince, the cat pictured above, as “a gentle, kind kitty.”
Really? This dude looks like a sinister evil genius plotting world domination. Seriously, would you ever want to get this look from a pet? And he’s giving this look when he has a full plate of food in front of him. We can’t imagine how malevolent and threatening he appears when he’s hungry and unserved.
We’re pretty sure he meows in a foreign accent, too.
He obviously has brainwashed the HSPCA into thinking otherwise:
Prince was rescued as a stray, according to shelter spokeswoman Meera Nandlal, but he’s already been house-trained and has excellent manners. He’s a gentle, kind kitty who loves attention and is ready for a home where he can stay forever.
Substitute “secret lair” for “home” and we’ll be more likely to buy it.
If, however, your wish is to become a henchman for a blackhearted megalomaniac dedicated to enslaving the planet, Prince’s ID number is A13361216 and the HSPCA website is here.
Update: We tweeted a link to this item and got this response from @Stichtag:
@HairBallsNews Is it just me or is this hilarious? bit.ly/kWZrAi it’s just you, asshole. Homeless pets are NEVER “evil” or “hilarious”
This article appears in Jun 23-29, 2011.