Game Time: Road Trip Edition

At some point, there is an age you reach where climbing into an SUV with
three of your buddies to drive a ridiculous distance to a backwater town to
watch football, drink beer, fart, and pretend you’re 22 again becomes old. I
don’t know what age that is, I just know I haven’t reached it yet.

Last
night would have been a good litmus test for that as myself, Raheel
Ramzanali, and David Nuno climbed into the 1560 The Game Mobile for a seven-hour drive to Norman, Oklahoma for the clash of 5-4 titans this weekend — the
Aggies of Texas A&M versus the Oklahoma Sooners.

For those wondering, this is a trip that is a combo business-pleasure event,
as we will be broadcasting our shows on Friday afternoon (Nuno from 1-3 p.m.,
me and John Harris from 3-7 p.m.) live from Norman (Tune in at
1560thegame.com!).

Also, for those who don’t know Raheel or Nuno, my best thumbnail sketch on
each:

RAHEEL RAMZANALI: 24 years old….UT grad….single…..American
citizen since 2008 (way to go, Raheezy!)….best known for his man-crush on
Kobe Bryant, his ability to get members of the Houston Texans to sing during
interviews, and his willingness to engage in anything ridiculous or
disgusting for as little as a free meal

DAVID NUNO: Early 30’s….A&M grad….married….father of
two (17-month-old twin boys)….sharp dresser…..best known for having
a great radio voice, a short fuse, and being the biggest germophobe in
Harris County

There are two particularly interesting tidbits when it comes to the
“business” side of the trip:

1. Our broadcasts will be emanating from JR’s Family Bar-B-Q, which is owned by WWE Hall of Fame broadcaster (and
great friend of the “Sean & John Show”) Jim Ross. Jim is an OU Sooner
through and through, as you’ve probably seen him on the sidelines before in
his trademark black cowboy hat. For wrestling fans, his voice is the most
recognizable in the business. Me, I’m a huge wrestling fan, so getting to
knock a few back with “Good Ol’ JR” is something I’d have probably (easily)
bid four figures on if it were on eBay.

2. Our most significant piece of luggage on the trip is the actual trophy
which will go to the Rotary Lombardi Award winner this season for the top lineman in college football (seen here with
John Harris about to engage the trophy in actual foreplay). Our show is the
broadcast partner for the award this year and those in charge thought it
would be fun for us to bring it to Norman so people could get their picture
taken with it.

Odds that the trophy makes it home in one piece? Well, let’s
just say we’ve already started making plans on constructing a new trophy.

So with our destination understood and our mission clear, Nuno, Raheel and I
embarked at 7:30 last night on the seven-hour drive to Sooner Haven.
(Harris is actually flying in on Friday morning, something about family
obligations, which I contend is code for “I don’t want to sit next to Raheel
for seven hours.” Raheel, so you know, I think you’re a fine fella.)

Now, anyone who’s been on a road trip such as this (and let’s be real — if
you’re a male over the age of 18 and you haven’t, you stopped reading this
post at the word “fart”) knows that when you get multiple dudes in a car for
a significant amount of time the conversation goes in one of three
directions — women, sports arguments, and ridiculous Fear Factor-type
“would ya?” banter.

The women stories have a “what happens in the 1560 Mobile stays in the 1560
Mobile” status attached to them; they will not be discussed here. As for
the other conversation topics, the most heated sports discussion was between
Raheel and me regarding “Chris Bosh vs Pau Gasol: Who would you take?” (We
finally came to the conclusion that Bosh would be the no-brainer for the
Rockets because of his physicality, but in general neither can carry a team
to a 50-win season. They need to be Banana 1-A.)

Admittedly, it’s the third category of conversation that generates the most
memorable banter. I posed the question to Raheel and Nuno, “What degree of
injury would you sustain yourself for your favorite player/best player on
your favorite team to not sustain the same injury in season?” I think this
question is always a great test of a fan’s true loyalty to their team.
Basically, how much pain would you endure for your guys?

Not surprisingly, Raheel said he would suffer a ruptured testicle for Colt
McCoy to stay healthy the rest of the season. Also, not suprisingly, Nuno
wouldn’t suffer so much as a hangnail for any athlete walking the earth.
The biggest surprise to me came from Raheel who said the most pain he would
endure for Kobe Bryant would be a skinned knee. This shocked me because I
seem to remember Raheel being smitten meeting Kobe for the first time last
year at Toyota Center. (Seriously, I think he handed him a mix tape.)

For those keeping score, I said I would suffer a season long bout with
hemorhhoids for Jimmy Clausen to stay in school after this season and lead
Notre Dame to a national championship in 2010.

I tweeted this question while we were discussing and got a few beauties back
from my followers:
@AndyP23 would suffer a
testicular hernia to make sure Case Keenum wouldn’t suffer
the same.
@tboyle2244: I would rip an ear off for
drew brees to stay health for the rest of the season
@nilsfreeman: I’d chew tin
foil for 10 min. to get Yao healthy

As you can see, the game degenerated into less of “what legit sports injury
would you sustain?” and more of “what level of self-mutilation would you
undergo?” (and waaaay too many people willing to mutilate their testicles).
Either way, it kills an hour easily on long trips. Highly recommend.

At one point, we started playing everyone’s favorite game “How much would
someone have to pay you to [fill in name of vomit-inducing act here]?” The
best one was probably “How much would someone have to pay you to shower for
ten minutes at a truck stop?” (For the record, we agreed that there would be
hot water and the stalls would be private.) My response: “$600.” Raheel’s
response: “A new PS-3.” Nuno’s response: “Would I have slippers?” After
five minutes insisting to Nuno that he would not be the beneficiary of
footwear, he sheepishly replied “12 grand.” Sounds about right.

Any trip up north to Dallas (or in this case, beyond) has to mix in a stop
at Woody’s Smokehouse in Centerville, which is the home of the most amazing
fudge and variety of jerky flavors that you’ll find anywhere in Texas.

After making all of the requisite “fudge” and “jerky” jokes, Raheel, Nuno,
and I sauntered in and proceeded to buy the most eclectic mix of products
you’ve ever seen. My bag included Cookies N Cream fudge, elk jerky,
Wisconsin smoked cheddar cheese chunks, and a diet Dr. Pepper. Only in
Centerville, baby!!

The night was finally capped off about 15 miles outside of Norman with me
behind the wheel when we got pulled over when I apparently made an improper
lane change. Whatever, it may or may not have been an improper lane change,
at that point I had been asleep for a solid 20 minutes (kidding!). The
officer asked where were on our way to, and I told him “to do a broadcast in
Norman tomorrow”. Since the SUV we were riding in had 1560 painted onto it
in roughly 200 places, I think he bought the story. I was lucky enough to
get off with a written warning, and we were all thankful that Raheel was not
the one driving because at 2 in the morning we were not in the mood for full
body cavity searches. Indeed, the result we got, we all agreed would have
only occurred in Oklahoma with a “Sean” behind the wheel, not a “Raheel” or
“Nuno.” Just sayin’.

So now it’s Friday morning. I’m off to go pick up John Harris at the
airport and it’s time for a celebration of college football to begin. Will
the Lombardi Award remain in one piece? Will John Harris ask Barry Switzer
to adopt him? Will we scrape up the 12 grand to see if Nuno is for real
about his truck-stop shower promise? Tune back in on Monday!!

THIS WEEKEND’S BEST BETS
It’s becoming obvious quickly that two weeks into this gig, you can all
become millionaires if you just do the opposite of what I recommend on the
college level. I have yet to give you a collegiate winner. So take note!
A glance back at last week:
LSU +7.5 at Alabama (Bama 25-16, LOSER!)
A&M -3 at Colorado (Colorado 35-34, LOSER…thanks Aggies.)
Houston -1 at Tulsa (Coogs 46-45, MIRACLE PUSH!)
Falcons -10 vs Redskins (Falcons, 31-17, WIN!)
Texans +8.5 at colts (Colts 20-17, WINNER!)
Dolphins +10.5 at Patriots (Pats 27-17, WINNER!)
Record Last Week: 3-2-1
Record on Hair Balls: 5-6-1

Here’s a nice little six pack for you for this weekend:
USC -10.5 vs Stanford
Texas -23.5 at Baylor
Utah +20 vs TCU
Detroit +16.5 at Minnesota
San Diego -1 vs Philadelphia
KC/Oakland under 37

Good luck on that ace!