Certainly, this week would be far more fun for Houston football fans if the Texans had been able to win a couple more playoff games and head down I-10 to New Orleans for the Super Bowl. Maybe next year. However, we can thank our lucky stars that, for the second straight January, the Texans are not looking for a new head coach.
Remember, back in January of 2021 (David Culley, fever dream), January of 2022 (Lovie Smith, in one of the oddest twists ever), and January of 2023 (DeMeco Ryans, jackpot!), when the franchise was searching and searching, and trying to find a way to stop paying about a half dozen head coaches at the same time? ย Oh, those pesky guaranteed contracts!
I remember, and it sucked! Times are better now, and while the Texans are not in the Super Bowl, our two year head coach and four year general manager are together, hand in hand, at the Senior Bowl college All Star game trying to make the team better.
For the seven teams who did choose to enter the “fire our head coach” fray this past season, six of them have filled the job. The New Orleans Saints are still trying to find someone to say “YES” to their massive salary cap “dead money” credit card bill that’s coming due over the next two years. Good luck! As for the six teams who’ve filled their positions, let’s grade them!
MIKE VRABEL, New England
This was a slam dunk, once the Patriots fired first year head coach Jerod Mayo. The Tennessee Titans may regret firing Vrabel after the 2023 season, as he was the most sought after candidate by several teams a year later. Now, Vrabel goes back home to the team with whom he won three Super Bowl rings in the early 2000s. This is widely being lauded as the best hire in this cycle. GRADE: A
BEN JOHNSON, Chicago
Johnson has been a candidate through three hiring cycles now, after choosing to remove his name in 2023 and 2024. Now, in 2025, Johnson is choosing to attach his career to the hip of last year’s number one overall pick, QB Caleb Williams. Johnson’s offenses in Detroit were creative, dynamic, and productive, and Johnson also turned Jared Goff into an MVP candidate. The Bears have hope, which is progress. The only thing Johnson lacks is experience. GRADE: A-
AARON GLENN, New York Jets
Glenn, like Vrabel in New England and DeMeco Ryans here in Houston, is a franchise legend, with a storied playing career in New York. In Detroit, he was the brain on the defensive side of the ball, and probably did his best work this past season, when the Lions lost a slew of starters to injury, and still put forth a viable defense. Glenn’s leadership traits are off the charts. Again, like his Lions coordinator counterpart, Johnson, all he lacks is experience. GRADE: A-
PETE CARROLL, Las Vegas
This one kind of came out of nowhere. Carroll obviously is very accomplished (Super Bowl winner in Seattle), highly energetic, and the youngest 73 year old you’ll ever meet. He has almost nothing to work with at quarterback in Las Vegas, so I would guess that new minority owner Tom Brady will have a lot to say in how the franchise attacks that position. Given the recent run of extended failure, and no solution at quarterback, Carroll is about as good as you could expect to do. GRADE: B
LIAM COEN, Jacksonville
Okay, now we get to the hires that we can REALLY make fun of. Coen, at first, backed away from the Jags, seemingly because (like most humans) he didn’t want to work with Jags GM Trent Baalke, so Jags owner Shad Khan fired Baalke. That meant that Coen had to renege on an agreement to return to Tampa as the highest paid OC in football. He did so by essentially ghosting the Bucs for a full day, while he did his second interview in Jacksonville. Some real greaseball stuff. It’s made even more strange, when you watch Coen in his press conference, and take in his goofy, nerdy personality. Yep, the Jags just sold their soul for THIS guy:
GRADE: D+
BRIAN SCHOTTENHEIMER, Dallas
Finally, we get to the Cowboys, who are undoubtedly one of the most recognizable brands on the planet. This is a team that SHOULD have a head coach with some sizzle, with a great pedigree, someone who strikes fear into the rest of the NFC. They hired the polar opposite of that. Instead, the Cowboys promoted offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer, whose claims to fame are (a) being Marty Schottenheimer’s son, and (b) being the apple of exactly zero other team’s eye in this or any other head coaching search throughout his nearly three decades in the NFL. If Jerry Jones, 82 years old, is trying to win one more Super Bowl before he dies, then he must think he’s living to see 110 years old. GRADE: F-
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